Prior to this chapter my computer crashed. As I was an idiot I had nothing backed up, but turned out that it was a minor problem and everything's fine.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA (I wish…), Nightmare Before Christmas (I really wish…), or Twilight (-Puke-).
Claimer: I own the FanGirls, Hayashi, and this blue notebook.

I know this jungle
The sun forever is absent.

When I woke up the cat clock informed me that it was two o'clock, I sat up, then noticed Ed sitting beside my bed reading a book.

"Afternoon." I said, yawning, he looked up and smiled.

"Hey, you hungry? Al brought it over while you were asleep" He held out a slice of apple pie, I took it from him.

"Thanks." I ate the pie, and then got out of bed and went to get a glass of water from downstairs. I made it down and drank the water, but when I was walking back up the stairs my legs gave out under me. Ed dragged me up the rest of the stairs and back into my bed. Grumbling the whole way.

"I guess I'm still tired." I said, Ed snorted.

"You think? Oh I forgot, Al and Oryx wanted me to tell them when you woke up, I'll be right back." Ed stood up and, to my surprise, Ported. I stared at the place he had just been until he walked in the door of the room again, ten minutes later.

"When did you learn how to do that?" I asked, staring at Ed.

"It was while you where away, you know when you were kidnapped by muffins. I just found out I could do it one day. Only over short distances at first, but I practised and got better." I nodded, and he sat back down next to my bed. "Oryx said she and Al will be here in a minute." Ed said, I nodded and picked up a book, he resumed reading his. Al and Oryx Ported loudly into the room. Oryx ran over and started flinging questions at me.

"What happened now? Why did Jack need help? Why aren't you up yet? Did you get the pie? Did you like it? Would you like a cat?" She held up a cat whose fur was patterned with a shimmering array of browns and moss greens such that it would have been able to blend into a forest without a second thought.

"I fought off FanGirl Fanfiction writers, Jack needed me to get rid of them, I'm not up yet because I'm still tired from fighting off hordes of FanGirls. Yes I did get the pie it was awesome, thank you very much. Yes indeed I would like a cat but why do you want to give it to me?" Oryx looked a little awkward.

"Well you know how we take in a lot of stray cats and stuff?" I nodded. "Well we kind of have too many now and you like cats so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind taking this one in. We think that he's about two years old." She held out the cat to me.

"You're not just giving me the bad tempered cat that destroys everything, are you?" Oryx smirked and shook her head.

"No, though this cat has the most terrible luck I've ever seen, we found him in my pit in a bucket of melted ice-cream with a print out of Twila wrapped around him." I gasped.

"Twila! Oh you poor thing!" Oryx put the cat into my arms and I gave it a gentle hug. "Does it have a name? Is it De-sexed?" I asked.

"Nah, we haven't got around to naming or doing anything like that with him yet." I looked the cat over; it looked up at me with big eyes that reminded me of mist in the woods.

"Hmm, I shall call you… Hayashi. Yashi for short." After I gave the cat his new name Oryx and Al went to look in the library and Ed went to find Yashi a bed, food bowl, and some toys. I sat Yashi on my bed and looked him in the eyes.

"A lot of people have their cat de-sexed and de-clawed because it is actually better for them; I'm not going to do that. I'm going to trust you not to scratch up my books and stuff." Yashi looked indifferent and started washing his paw, but I knew he was listening, I continued.

"I am also going to encourage you to hunt for yourself; I want to inspire some independence. Because of this you shall not have a collar with an annoying bell on it, partly because they annoy me." Yashi continued ignoring me and switched to its other paw.

"So don't over hunt, and don't kill just birds, or kill just because you can. Or I'll make you wish you died as a kitten." Yashi stopped washing and looked up at me with a look of disbelief on his face. "Yes I will, I may not look like much, but I'm a pro at pretending to be a Ninja. I trust you, but betrayal of my trust has consequences." Yashi stood up, shook himself, and walked over to me and sat on my lap, purring, I petted his head. Ed came back in and Yashi jumped off of the bed and strolled over to him, he twined around Ed's feet, purring loudly.

"I guess he likes you then." I said, yawning. "I think I'm going to go back to sleep now." I said quietly, and lay my head down on the pillow.

"Okay." Ed was kneeling on the floor, petting Yashi, who was lying on his back. I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the sound of Yashi's purring.

Meh, what is it?

Me(h).

I was feeling much better the next morning, so I went for a walk in the sculpture garden with Ed. Yashi had gone out hunting. As usual there was a sweet tinged wind blowing, swirling the leaves of the Forest in intricate patterns. We were walking past a statue of a sparrow when Al came running up the path behind us.

"Ed! Frog! Oryx Ported somewhere and I have no idea where. Have you seen her?" I shook my head.

"No, I haven't seen her since yesterday." I wondered where she could have got to. "Did she say anything to you before she vanished?" Al seemed to be searching the very depths of his mind; the he slowly shook his head.

"Just the usual things; 'Good morning, how art thou?' That kind of stuff, I was eating a sandwich in the kitchen while she went on a FG reconnaissance mission, and she didn't come back." I mulled this over, what could have happened? Maybe another muffin kidnapping? No, it wouldn't be that. Ninjas maybe? It's a possibility. The FGs are too unfocused to do anything on a big scale; they might be able to form enough coherent thought to tie someone up though.

"Ok we have a few options. Where did she go to do the reconnaissance Al?"

"I don't know, she said something about vampires" Vampire Academy? "And Neanderthals." Twilight.

"Right then, to the Twilight universe!" I grabbed Al and Ed by the wrist and Ported us into the Twilight universe.

-Twitch-

Oryx woke to a dungeon cell. She was chained to the dark stone wall by her wrists; she tried to move, but felt a strange drain on her energy. She assumed that it was the chains, so she set about breaking them.

The chains themselves didn't look very heavy or strong, in fact they looked about as strong as a cheap necklace, so as soon as Oryx felt she could, she started pulling at them. They hardly moved, so she looked closer at them she saw an inscription carved on the chains;

"OMG ths cians wil lyke "nt bryeack evr." Oryx broke off, shuddering. Only one creature could write like that without going mad, the very things she had been tracking; FanGirls. No wonder she felt so weak, the terrible writing was draining her, she felt unconsciousness start to drag her away, she tried to fight it but it sapped her energy and pulled her down into a sea of dark dreams.

-Flick-

We ported into Twilight just outside the Werewolf boundary. Following the trail of Glomped characters, hairspray and the faint sound of squeeing, we managed to find the FG's fortress down at La Push. It was really just a series of bungalows down on the beach, but for all the luck we were going to have of getting in and finding Oryx it might as well have been a castle guarded by fire spitting Llamas. We tried a few, but had no luck in finding Oryx.

"Are you even sure she's here?" Ed asked me, after we snuck around a few more bungalows and ended up near the heart of the camp. The camp looked empty, but looks can be very deceiving.

"Not really, but it's very likely." He looked at me exasperatedly, "Do you have any better ideas then Mr I know absolutely everything about everything?" he sighed and shook his head. "Well then." I pulled a pair of binoculars out of my bag and swept my gaze over the main meeting area, I was about to declare it a no go when I saw what looked like a timetable written on a whiteboard. I pointed it out to Ed and Al and we snuck over to it, keeping low.

"Six o'clock to seven: sun tanning, seven o 'clock to eight thirty: beach volleyball, Eight thirty to eleven: Beach activities. Hmm." I looked at my watch.

"It's ten past nine; they'll still be at the beach, we can look around more carefully." We went through every bungalow but one, coming up with nothing, we met back at the campfire pit to discuss our options.

"She's got to be in there." I said pointing at the main building, Ed and Al nodded and we walked over to it, I pulled open the door and peered inside. A completely normal room greeted my eyes.

"What!" Ed yelled, I shushed him. "But we tore the other rooms apart." He said, a little quieter this time. "She has to be in here!" I put my hand comfortingly on Al's shoulder.

"So let's find her." I said and proceeded to dismantle the room. I looked under every table and behind every shelf; we searched for half an hour, going over the room again and again.

"It's no use!" Al wailed, sinking into a chair. "We'll never find her!" I snatched hold of Al's wrist and pulled him to his feet.

"Well we won't if we give up." I stared around the room for a moment, so did Al and Ed.

"Hey, over here." Ed was squatting in on corner, pointing to the floor; I walked over, Al following me.

"What is it?" Al asked, Ed pointed to the carpet in front of him, there was a corner sticking up. I looked at him quizzically, one eyebrow raised. He reached out and tugged at the carpet; it came up easily, and revealed a trap door. I gasped, and slapped a palm to my forehead.

"They must have a dungeon or something, come on." I pulled the trap door open and jumped down into the inky blackness.

Umm, yes… I was so not on crack when I wrote that -smile- yes…
Happy Un-birthday! (Unless you're Wolfy, Happy Birthday Wolfy!)

Next time on CCC: There is another party, for some reason or other.