Chapter 9: Loss

It was a rainy day and little Rin hadn't really felt it until it was too late. She was shivering all over as she walked behind Lord Sesshomaru and Jaken. She had only been following them for a few weeks now and although she had tried to speak- no words came out yet. Sesshomaru was paying no mind to the rain as he didn't have to worry about such things as getting wet. The rain came straight down onto him and he felt just as comfortable as he would on a sunny summer morning. That's when he heard the teeth chattering and stopped to look behind to see the child he resurrected, very cold, soaked to the bone and shaking furiously. He made his way over to her and looked at her.

"I think the human girl is getting sick from the rain. She looks very cold, sire." Jaken advised his Lord.

"Hn. How fragile it is. Let's find the child somewhere to dry off." Sesshomaru ordered.

Not too soon after, they found the perfect spot. A shallow cave with nothing prowling about in it. Jaken sat down on the edge and looked out into the rain. The girl followed Sesshomaru into the cave and sat down when he did, a good distance away as to not invade his personal space. The dog demon thought it amusing how the human child seemed to shadow him. She seemed relieved from the rain and everything was calm for a few minutes before she began to shake again. Sesshomaru looked over to the pathetic creature and felt the need to stop this.

"What is it now, girl? You are out of the rain."

Rin's clothes were soaked and it was colder inside the cave. She parted her lips and started to try to say something.

"C-c-c" RIn paused. "C-c-cold"

Sesshomaru lifted his eyebrow. This was the first time he had heard the mute child try to speak. He felt himself wanting to hear more.

"Come here, child. Warm yourself." He ordered.

Rin stood up and made her way closer to him and found a nice spot near his hip. She snuggled up to his side, pulling some of his kimono to her and smiled deeply as she stopped shaking. Sesshomaru looked down at the pathetic creature curiously before looking away.

"You spoke. That means you can speak again." He said, inviting her to use her voice.

The young human girl looked up to him and nodded before she started to attempt speaking again.

"R-R-Rin." The girl said and then smiled. "M-m-my n-n-name. Rin."

Sesshomaru nodded in approval at the child underneath him and leaned back as she used him as a cushion.

"Very well… Rin."

Rin laid down on the floor and looked absently at the wall to the side of her, memories flashing through her mind. She had no idea how long she had been lying there, but her whole body had gone numb. People had come to knock several times but she ignored them. The other night was a very life changing night for her and she couldn't find it in her body to move. She didn't want to move. There was a strong aura of sorrow leaking from her absent body.

"He really left me. What a coward. I cannot believe him. But I love him. He did this for me right? Silly, girl! Rin, you are too forgiving. You need to hate him for what he's done. But why don't you? Why does my entire soul insist on loving him unconditionally? Lord Sesshomaru, can I love you and hate you at the same time?"

Rin decided it was time to get up before she was consumed with her feelings. Her body tingled all over as she tried to rise, taking a minute to get all of her sleeping limbs working. She passed the servants and the other people in the hall. No one seemed to notice her. Rin found the door that led to the garden and opened it. The sun came down on her harshly, burning into her eyes. It must have been past noon. Stumbling into the garden, she saw a large board standing out in the field. It was the kind of board that people used for archery, but yet it was unoccupied and she didn't see anyone around.

Rin made her way over to the target board and ran her fingers against it, feeling the broken and used wood. She had hoped that the trip to the garden would make her feel a little better and that maybe she could try to reason with herself. But then she would see His face in the back of her mind. She felt nothing but anger and sorrow.

Tracing the chalked circles on the board, Rin closed her eyes before letting loose. She began hitting the center of the target with her fist. Furiously, she just kept hitting and hitting with all the rage one could possess.

"Sesshomaru! Will I ever erase you from my mind?!"

Lord Akio walked out of the castle with a look of worry on his face. He hadn't seen his bride-to-be since the other day and figured something must be very wrong. When his parents told him the day before that Lord Sesshomaru had given his consent to take Rin as his bride, he was happier than ever. But how did she feel? He looked into the gardens and saw a woman punching furiously into one of his target boards. When he realized who it was, he gasped and ran as fast as he could.

Rin was releasing horrible sounds as she pounded into the jagged and broken wood. Her skin was coming clear off of her knuckles but she just kept going. Her mind and body were at wits end. She needed to release this energy. She gasped as two arms wrapped around her and pulled her back, making her stumble onto her knees.

"Rin, please stop! You're bleeding everywhere." Akio shouted, holding onto her waist from behind, crouching as to hold her delicate frame. He couldn't believe how much power the young girl had demonstrated. There was nearly a hole through the board.

Rin looked at her hand and let out a cry of pain, finally realizing what she had put her body through.

Akio lifted her to her feet and turned her body around, taking her hand into his to check out the wounds. The skin on her knuckles were gone, and there was a lot of blood and splinters. Rin looked at him, finally.

"Lord Akio.." She started, feeling nothing but pain.

"It's okay, let's go get you bandaged up." He answered, wanting to address her wounded hand before anything else. He put one hand behind her back and held her wounded hand up with the other, leading her into the castle. He snapped at a very shocked looking Ami.

"Ami, go into the village and bring the doctor here. We will be in my room." He ordered. Ami didn't say a word. She looked at Rin's hand in disgust for a second before she bowed her head and ran out the front doors.

Akio led Rin down the hall until they got to his room, gently ushering her inside. The room must have been the most grand here. But Rin paid no mind as she looked at her hand. Akio sat her down and went into one of his chests as he pulled out a white cloth. He quickly returned to Rin, wrapping her bleeding hand in the cloth. Rin hissed at the pain of anything touching her raw hand, and then looked to the floor. She was embarrassed and upset.

"Ami will return with the doctor, soon." He said, gently. Looking at Rin as to try to read her face. But she kept her head lowered, so he could not.

"I told you I was a horrid girl, Akio." She stated, some tears falling to the floor.

"No, you are not horrid. Everybody gets angry. I've certainly had my moments. You are a good person, I know this."

Rin was confused by the man in front of her. She was angry that he had his parents ask Lord Sesshomaru for her hand before even bothering to ask how she felt about him. But she tried not to be too angry with him for wanting her. He was a handsome guy. But the problem was Akio wasn't Lord Sesshomaru. He really could never live up to him. But she told her she shouldn't be pining for her Lord still after giving her away like he did.

"I apologize for my episode in the gardens. I was not myself. Or maybe too much of myself. Either way it will not happen again." Was all she could really get out.

"There is no need to apologize, Rin. I understand." He said reassuringly.

"Akio, I don't expect you to understand me. I fear I will never see Lord Sesshomaru again. He is all I know. I lost him and Master Jaken overnight, and didn't even get to say goodbye because I was so upset at him. Now I am here around a bunch of people I just met and I'm so scared." Rin tears were falling faster, now. Lord Akio looked at the young lady and sighed before cupping one of her cheeks in his hand.

"Rin, look at me." Akio said, lifting her gaze to his. "You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm here." He looked so honest, and warm. "I'm sorry if I caused all this. I couldn't help falling for you so suddenly."

Rin was battling with herself to push him off and scream at him that it was his fault for asking without her permission first. But then she reminded herself that it was Lord Sesshomaru that sealed the deal. If she were to be angry at anyone, it should be him.

"It is not your fault. He would have been rid of me, either way." Rin felt her heart drop at her own words.

"Rin, I-" Akio was cut off by the door being opened suddenly and the doctor walking in. He was an old man with a strict face and had obviously done a lot of frowning in his day.

"Lord Akio" The doctor said, nodding his head to him. Akio returned the nod.

"Well let's see it, then." The old doctor sighed, sitting down in front of Rin. She looked at him, intimidated and let him take her shaking, bloody hand. As the doctor unwrapped the cloth, she hissed and made faces.

He made thinking noises as he investigated her hand.

"Well, there's no broken bones. But we'll have to take out all these splinters and sterilize it." The doctor said.

Rin looked nervously as he picked out a tool from his bag. She hadn't had an injury like this since she was little and couldn't even remember what it was like. Rin pulled her hand back over to herself defensively.

"No, that's okay. I'll be alright. Thank you." She said hesitantly.

Akio looked at Rin and let out a small smile at her childish refusal to let the doctor see her hand. He reminded himself she must not be used to other people, having traveled with demons most of her life, and a strange man coming at her with a foreign tool would be intimidating.

"Rin, I'm not going to promise you that it won't hurt. But if you leave it like this, it'll get worse. I'll be here, though. You can lean on me." Akio reassured her.

Rin looked at Akio and then back to the doctor. She slowly gave the doctor her hand and let Akio become closer to her. He put his hands on her waist gently. The doctor started going to work on her hand, plucking each splinter out of her poor hand. Rin shrieked each time he did so, making Akio's heart sink. Tears fell down her cheeks as he looked over her hand to make sure he had gotten every last splinter out.

"Now we have to sterilize." The doctor said, returning the tool to his bag and bringing out a bottle of clear liquid and started dabbing it on a cloth. "It's not going to feel pleasant."

Before Rin could even respond, the doctor had taken a hold of her wrist and started going over her wounds with the damp cloth. Rin let out a scream that pierced through Akio's ears, and he held her tighter to him. And then the deed was done. The doctor wrapped up her hand with some new cloth and stood up, nodding his head at Akio.

"Lord Akio."

"Thank you very much, old friend. Your payment will reach your door by the end of the night." Akio said nodding back to him.

Just like that, the doctor was gone and it was just Rin and Akio together. He held her tight to him as she breathed quickly, looking at her newly bandaged hand. Akio nuzzled his face into the back of her hair, breathing in her scent. Rin felt his comfort and did not fight it. It felt nice to once again have the arms of a man wrapped around her, whether or not it was the one she loved. She turned around and met his embrace by throwing her thin arms around his waist and digging her face in his big, manly chest.

Akio blushed at this development and held her body close to his. He couldn't believe that she was showing him such affection after all she'd been through in the past couple of days. But he certainly didn't mind it.

Rin lifted her head to look into his eyes. They were gentle and kind. He looked back at Rin and smiled at how messy she looked. Her cheeks were all red and her wavy hair was strewn about everywhere messily. But it only made him more attracted to her. He smiled at her and let out a small chuckle.

"Rin, you look a mess." He chuckled, brushing some of her locks with his fingers and tracing her cheek with the other hand.

Rin looked at him chuckling at her messy disposition and for the first time in days, began to let out a smile. She thought she must look so silly like this. She covered her mouth with her sleeve embarrassedly before Akio brought his hand up to remove it. Rin tried to bring it up again and he did the same thing again. It was his wish to see the smiles that graced her face.

"Stop it!" She laughed, turning her face away from him. "You tease."

"And you dislike it?" He answered back, turning her face to his with his hand. "I just wish to see the smile that stole me."

Rin relented and smiled at him, looking up at his handsome face. She was beginning to feel a sense of relief and shook her head, in a lighter mood.

"Damn you for making me smile through all my misery." Rin thought.

"Come. We'll drink tea and make light of this afternoon. You don't have to see anyone else today." Akio said, reassuringly.

Rin smiled. "I cannot say that I am over my ordeal but I can rest easier knowing I have a friend in Akio."

...

Jaken was walking briskly in back of his Lord. It had been a day since he saw Sesshomaru storming out of the castle and followed him, not daring to ask what had happened and why Rin was nowhere to be found. He had been walking on eggshells the whole time. He wanted so badly to speak with the dog demon.

"I bet you something happened between Lord Sesshomaru and Rin. That is why my Lord has been storming about this whole time. Rin! What have you said that has my Lord so angry? And why are you no longer with us? I can't bear to hold my silence any longer. I must know what is going on here."

"My Lord?" Jaken asked timidly.

"What do you want, Jaken?" Sesshomaru didn't stop to look behind him at all.

"Um, I was just wondering. Why Rin isn't with us anymore?"

SMACK! Sesshomaru lashed out and Jaken cried out and bowed low to the ground, covering his head lest his Master decide to strike him again.

"Please forgive me, my Lord, I was just curious!" He cried.

Sesshomaru glared at him angrily.

"Her name is not to be spoken anymore. I left her behind in the human village, where she belongs."

Sesshomaru felt his chest ache. Hitting Jaken and being angry wasn't going to help how he felt. He was having some very strong feelings about leaving Rin behind. About some of the things Rin had said to him.

"You have surpassed your father in power, but yet you are too scared to have what you truly want. I didn't think there was a smidge of cowardice in you, but it is very clear now." She had said.

The memory played in his mind, making him angrier.

"How dare she insult me like that? Who does she think she is? Nobody talks to this Sesshomaru like that. And yet.."

Sesshomaru's mind played out the whole scenario and it stopped at the face she made when he stopped himself from harming her. That face of fear burned into the back of his mind. He was one of the most feared creatures on the earth and yet he did not want Rin to fear him. Her scream, though long gone, still tormented his being. He was worse off now than when she was within his reach.

Jaken waited until his Lord had resumed walking to rise and start following him again. He rubbed his forehead groggily.

"Whatever you did, Rin, it must have been horrible. My Lord has never been so angry before."

He wasn't going to get any further information regarding Rin from Sesshomaru, that was for sure. But Jaken felt a twinge of sorrow over the loss of the human girl. He had taken care of her since the day that Sesshomaru brought her back from the dead. He had watched her grow and play. The child had grown on him right under his nose. He thought the day that Rin was gone would be an excellent day that he would rejoice.

But now that it happened, he was feeling a great loss. He felt almost betrayed that his Lord would separate him from the girl he had cared for without so much as a warning. Jaken made up his mind that he would have to go back and see Rin to check up on her soon when there was a chance in the near future. He walked along and thought of her. Memories of when she was still a child.

"Master Jaken!" A nine year old Rin shouted. "I made this for you! Isn't it pretty?" She said holding out a flower wreath to him.

"Rin, you silly thing, what makes you think that I would like to wear something like that?" He responded, crossing his arms. He looked at Rin and she looked pretty distraught at his refusal to accept the gift she made for him. He saw a single tear form at the corner of her eye and relented.

"If it will prevent you from crying, I will decorate the staff of two heads with it." He said, taking the wreath and wrapping it around his staff. "See? There now isn't that nice."

"It does look nice. Master Jaken, you are so smart!" Rin laughed joyously.

Jaken sighed at himself and trudged along, not making a peep to Lord Sesshomaru.

"My Lord, What could have possibly caused all of this?"

...

A week had passed since Lord Sesshomaru had left Rin in the village and she was already starting to lighten up a bit. There was still a great depression lingering in her but she kept it well hidden. Akio was laying his head on her lap as they sat under a tree. She had become so much easier with him since the day she hurt her hand. They were inseperable at times. She wanted so badly to distract herself from thinking about Lord Sesshomaru and Akio displayed so much kindness to her. She stroked a hair out of his face.

"Rin, you have something on your face. I think it's a spider." Akio said, pointing at her face.

Rin shrieked and started wiping away at her face.

"Is it gone?!" She yelled aloud. Akio lifted his head from her lap and sat up next to her.

He chuckled at first and ended with a roaring laugh. RIn then realized what happened and hit him gently on the arm.

"Don't do that!" She shouted at him, smiling. He was the type to try and make her laugh by pulling jokes often. It added to his charm.

"I can't help it, you are so easy to fool." Akio laughed as he ran a finger down her cheek, she slapped it away, smiling back at him.

"I am not!" She laughed back at him.

Lady Mai came strolling over to the tree, looking stressed out, and scoffed at the two of them just hanging about so frivolously.

"What are the both of you doing? We have plan to make. Guests to invite. The wedding is in a week." She chided both Akio and RIn.

Rin looked down at the ground. She didn't need to be reminded that she was going to be married soon. She was relieved that Akio had become a good friend and companion for her. But she was no where ready to be married to the man. And it was happening soon. It made her feel uneasy that she would soon be caring to the needs of a man who wasn't Lord Sesshomaru.

"So Rin, you will come with me. We need to make you something suitable to wear for the event. We have a seamstress here."

"Yes, Lady Mai." Rin said, getting up onto her feet, looking back to Akio before disappearing.

Rin was led into a room where there was a large woman sitting and as soon as she got in, she was stripped down and the large woman was taking measurements from her.

"She is not very white." The woman said to Lady Mai.

"Tell me about it! Rin, dear, why is your skin so dark?" Lady Mai said, sounding curious, although Rin knew that she was being teased. Which was the last thing she needed right now.

"I don't know. It's not that dark." Rin commented, looking at her olive skin. It really wasn't that dark. Lady Mai was as white as a ghost, though, and just as scary as one.

Lady Mai laughed at Rin mockingly.

"You poor thing." Lady Mai chuckled. "You look as if you've been working out in the fields, like a peasant. We must do something about that hand as well. Perhaps we'll make the sleeves long enough so no one has to see it."

RIn felt her blood running hot. She couldn't believe Lady Mai's cruel comments. She stood there silently as the lady finished and then slowly walked out of the room, not saying goodbye to anyone.

She started to run down the halls to find her room when she heard a voice calling her.

"Miss Rin!"

Lord Eito apparoached her, slowly. "What on earth are you running from, child?"

Rin did not know if she should open up to the elderly lord of the castle, but she nodded to him and started to speak.

"I am upset that I may not be adjusting well to all of this, Lord Eito." She said, looking down.

"Nonsense!" He said. "You will find it better with time and patience."

He patted her head as if she were a kid.

"If you should ever need any help, come find me, Miss Rin. I may be old but I know a thing or two." Lord Eito said before turning to walk away slowly.

"Thank you, Lord Eito." She said, bowing her head to him, smiling at him as he walked down the hall at his own pace.

His gentle nature reminded her of her dear Kaede. She missed her friends.

"My dearest friends. I hope I will be able to travel soon to visit you all. If at all. I miss you all so dearly.. Kagome.. Sango... Kaede.."

(Thanks for reading, guys. Ch 10 soon. Also I have a oneshot up that you might be interested in called "The Visit" It's Sesshomaru and Izayoi so check it out if you want.)