Hello! My deepest apologies for the long wait in between updates, my muse seemed to go into hiding for a few days and then I had to return to the adult world instead of living in this lovely little fantasy world this story lives in, but I'm back and I have a longer chapter for you all. I believe my muse is back but I cannot say when the next update will be because it is the start of midterm season and my exams will have to come before this story (being an adult certainly sucks!) I would like to point out that I do not have a plan for this story aside from mental thoughts on where it could possibly go, I do not map out stories in advance. So, if you guys have anything you would like to see in this story feel free to comment or inbox me and I will do it!
Hugs and Such
-IrishBella
But enough about me, here's chapter 9!
Trigger Warning: There is a section in this chapter that talks about marital rape, if this affects you, you can skip the part. I have marked where you should skip and where the story picks back up.
sankofa:
(n.) (phr.) "go back and fetch it"; we must look back to the past so that we may understand how we became what we are, and move forward to a better future.
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"Nothing like baby alarm clocks, huh babe?" Emma asks as she pours them each a cup of coffee.
Regina laughs and says, "you know that I absolutely love this dear, even if you are a dreadful morning person."
Emma grumbles and then gives a fake smile, "I love mornings, Gina!"
Regina laughs and shakes her head as she takes a sip of her coffee, "you know, for all your claims about knowing whenever someone is lying, you make a terrible liar."
"There's a difference between lying and sarcasm, Gina."
Regina simply rolls her eyes and looks into the living room to see her daughters asleep in their swings. She starts moving around the kitchen as she starts to prepare breakfast. "You are able to take Henry to school today?" she questions as she places a pan on the stove.
"Yes, babe. I'll be taking Henry and he'll be on his own to get home because I'm only working a half day today, remember."
"Very well, Thomas has a Parent-and-Me group this morning and we will be going to park but we should be back by lunch."
"Oh, I forgot about that thing. I'm so glad you deal with that, I couldn't deal with all those suburban mom's judging me," Emma says as she helps Regina with breakfast.
Regina laughs and says, "well dear, I was the Evil Queen, I think I can handle a few peasants and their gossip driven lives."
"It's okay babe, I know you secretly love to judge them. Even before you remembered the whole Evil Queen thing, you were able to handle them so much better than me."
"That's because you are more of an action first, think later person, darling. I, on the other hand, am always thinking three steps ahead."
"More like 12," Emma mumbles as she reaches into the fridge.
"Yes, dear. Well, being a queen in the Enchanted Forest was difficult enough but to be a queen without a king to 'take care of me' was practically unheard of. I had to stay ahead of everyone else lest they try to overtake my kingdom."
"Yeah, babe, I can't really see you standing down and letting someone else take over your kingdom."
"Not a chance," Regina says with a smirk, "I was more likely to overtake than to be overtaken."
"Badass!" Emma exclaims, causing Regina to chuckle.
"Well, I'm glad you approve, darling."
They work silently preparing breakfast for their family. Regina cannot help the grin that takes over her face. This is all she's ever wanted. The domesticity of all of this causes her heart to grow in her chest. Emma notices the grin and asks, "What?"
Regina turns to look at Emma and walks towards her, kissing her resolutely on her lips. "I love you," she whispers when they separate.
Emma wraps her arms around Regina's waist and leans her forehead so it rests against her wife's, "I love you too, babe. Any specific reason you chose now to remind me that I'm the luckiest person in the world?"
Regina smiles as her heart feels like it's growing again, "this is all I've ever wanted Emma. A family, this easiness, it's all I've ever wanted. I used to think I deserved it when I was younger but after everything that happened with Daniel I thought I would never get back to being this person, and then you waltz into my life and flip everything upside down. And I couldn't be happier that you did. I love you more than words can describe."
"You know, Regina Mills, you sure are sweet when you want to be," Emma says with a smirk. Regina rolls her eyes, but Emma continues, "I love you too, babe. I've always wanted a family and you gave me that, even before you knew it. You're home for me babe."
"You know, dear, you can be sweet when you want to be as well," Regina smirks, "and I can say you are my home as well darling, even if you continue to use childish terms of endearment."
Emma gasps as she pretends to pull away from her wife, "Oh, you wound me, my darling," she snarks. This causes Regina to laugh out loud and Emma smiles, "Gina! I love you sooooooooo much babe," Emma drags out her words like a child her wife just claimed her to be.
Regina rolls her eyes, "you're impossible." She pulls her wife closer and kisses her again.
"You like it," Emma says back against her wife's lips.
Regina doesn't even give a response; she simply pulls away and moves back to check on their breakfast. Emma doesn't even have a chance to say something snarky before she hears footsteps start on the stairs before she hears a grumbled, "Henny!" The footsteps stop, there's a grunt, and then the footsteps begin again. Then Henry is standing at the entrance of the kitchen with Tommy in his arms. He grunts again and walks to the chairs on their island where Emma and Regina are standing.
"Well good morning to you too dear," Regina says with a smile. She receives another grunt and Henry puts Tommy in a chair before he falls into the chair next to it and lays his head on the counter.
"Mownin' Mommy!" Tommy greets cheerfully as he tries to crawl onto the counter.
"Good morning, my little prince, did you sleep well?" Regina asks as she hands him a glass of juice, hoping it will keep him in his seat until his plate is ready.
"Yes, but Henny didn't. He's cwanky," he says as he pokes his older brother's head. He takes a sip of his juice and looks at the food his mothers are making.
Regina smiles at him and says, "Yes well he takes after your Momma on that, dear."
"Momma no like mownins eiver?" he asks with wide eyes.
"No baby, Momma does not like mornings either," Emma says as she walks around the island to give her youngest son his plate, "but I do love spending them with you."
"Henry dear, head up or no breakfast," Regina says as she holds the plate in front of her sons face. The only response she receives is another grunt. "Now, Henry, or you will be late to school. Head up," she repeats sternly.
Henry grunts again but raises his head so his mother can put down his plate. She kisses his forehead and moves to do the same to her youngest son. "Mommy?" he questions when she pulls away from him.
"Yes, Thomas?"
"What we do today?" he asks as he takes a bite of his breakfast.
"You have a play date with your friends, remember?" Regina says as she pushes his hair out of his face.
"Yes!" He pumps his fist into the air, causing his mothers and his brother to chuckle.
They make small talk about Henry's plans for his school day, about Emma's case load (child-friendly of course); and they're only interrupted by the twins once where Regina simply has to go and place Evy's pacifier back in her mouth. Once breakfast is finished and the dishes are placed in the dishwasher, Emma and Henry say their goodbyes and make their way out the door. When they're gone Regina takes Tommy upstairs and helps him get dressed, brush his teeth, and brush his hair. Regina takes him into her bedroom and places him on the couch with a toy as she gets ready herself. Once she is dressed for the day in simple jeans and a button down with a cardigan, Regina grabs an outfit and a diaper for each of her daughters and takes their things downstairs to dress them. They are ready to go and make it to the park with 5 minutes to spare.
"It always makes me laugh that you and your wife are such polar opposites when it comes to timing, Regina." Regina turns towards the voice and sees Cynthia sitting on a park bench smiling.
Regina smiles back and says, "Ah yes, Emma has always been unintentionally fashionably late her entire life."
She pushes the stroller with her daughters over to the bench as her son asks, "Mommy can I pway?"
"Yes, dear. Be careful." But Tommy is already gone. She just smiles and shakes her head. She turns to see Cynthia laughing with her hand over her mouth "are you alright dear?"
"Yes, yes," she manages in between laughs, "I just love your explanation for Emma's tardiness."
Regina smiles again, "Well, she has been that way for as long as I've known her and I doubt that will ever change."
"You guys are just so stinking cute!" Cynthia says as she claps her hands together.
"I am not cute," Regina says with a curled lip. No one has ever called me cute. Beautiful maybe. But cute? Absolutely not. I had people fileted for less. No one would dare call the Evil Queen "cute" without fear of these repercussions. I suppose no one ever was close enough to call the Evil Queen "cute," Regina muses, I mean, one does not get that moniker by being cute.
Cynthia just laughs and shakes her head, "Of course not, Regina. How dare I ever even entertain such an idea," she mocks.
Regina simply shakes her head and refuses to respond to such sarcasm. Cynthia smiles at her friend and fellow mom as they turn to watch their sons. Within half an hour the entire playgroup was there. Every week this group got together (at least once) to get their children outside and for the parents to partake in actual adult conversation. Cynthia is a stay at home mom with 5 sons, 3 of which were not in school. Her husband, Ryan, owns his own company. Heather has a son and a daughter, both 2 years old, with one on the way and she and her husband, Corey, are realtors. Kyle and Brogan have a 3-year-old daughter and they are both surgeons. Aubrey is also a stay at home mom with a pilot husband, Enzo, 3 children not in school, and 1 in elementary school. Anna has 2 daughters not in school and her husband, Andrew, is an instructor in the military. Each week each family brings something to their play dates. This week Regina had drinks for the kids, for which she packed juice boxes-apple of course. Brogan brought the coffee; Cynthia had snacks for the kids, Anna baked breakfast scones for the adults, Heather had the kids' second snack, and Aubrey brought extra water bottles for the kids. This had become a bit of a bonding ritual for the parents and it definitely helped when all of the kids had the same snacks/drinks as everyone else. As Brogan handed out the coffee and all the kids ran off to play, the adults sat back with the littlest children and made small talk.
"Hey Thia!" Brogan yells as he hand Cynthia her coffee, "just how you like it."
"Thanks Brogan," Cynthia says with a smile as she looks down at Evy in her arms.
Regina smiles at the sight and Brogan says, "and for you Regina," handing her the coffee.
"Thank you, dear," she says as she turns toward the park to see her youngest son.
"Tommy sure seems to be enjoying himself today, finally feeling better?" Aubrey asks coming over to sit next to Regina and Cynthia, resituating her 10-month-old daughter on her lap.
"Yes, Aubrey. I believe he is getting over that bug that had been going around," Regina says looking at Lottie in her arms, "and thank goodness it did not spread through the entire house."
"Oh you certainly are lucky! When Everleigh brought that bug from school, everyone got it, Enzo even spent one day at home," Aubrey says looking over at their children running all over the park.
"Oh no!" Cynthia exclaims looking at Aubrey, "If Ryan ever missed work I believe I would immediately call an ambulance, the man is as stubborn as a mule and refuses to acknowledge when he actually gets sick."
Regina laughs and says, "Oh Emma is very similar. She could be too sick to stand up straight and she would insist she was fine." She rolls her eyes and looks of the kids, mentally counting everyone.
"Really?" Anna asks as she comes to sit near the other moms, "I would assume if she had you to take care of her she would milk it for all it's worth."
Regina laughs again and rolls her eyes, "oh no, the last time she was sick I had to physically stop her from leaving the house. She could not even walk, and she expected to go and hunt down a murderer."
"Oh my goodness," Heather says as she too joins the circle of parents with Brogan, "that must be terrifying for you."
Regina notices the condescending tone and raises an eyebrow and she pulls Lottie closer to her.
"Well, I just don't know how you can allow her to put herself in danger like that everyday, if that was my Corey, I don't think I would let him out of my sight."
Regina tries to laugh it off and says, "Well, Emma has never been very good at following directions."
"Awwww," Cynthia cooed. Regina rolls her eyes and turns back toward the playing children but Heather does not let it go, "I think I would do everything in my power to change Corey's mind."
Regina raises an eyebrow; "I would never prevent Emma from doing something she loves."
"Oh, o-of course not," Heather stutters at Regina's tone.
Everyone in the group can see that things are about to get tense. Regina has always been polite to everyone, but they all know she has quite a quick temper and will use her words to end you. In fact, that's why she and Cynthia get along as well as they do, they have the same sense of humor and quick wit. Heather however is much more like Emma, acting or speaking before she thinks. Perhaps that's why the blondes got along so well. They were both incredibly protective of their spouses.
Cynthia smiles at the awkward silence her friend has created before she changes the topic to things the school-aged children had been up to and the tension quickly dissipated.
The rest of the morning passed by uneventfully. The kids came back and forth when they were hungry or thirsty and the adults drank their coffees, ate their scones and either made small talk, or tended to their younger children that were too small to play on the equipment by themselves.
Regina truly enjoyed these mornings. Being able to talk with other parents about the joys of parenthood was something she looked forward to every week and seeing her son light up when he was able to play with children his own age warmed her heart. And of course Cynthia and her sense of humor always provided a few laughs for the brunette. Regina definitely enjoyed the company of the other parents but she and Cynthia had certainly connected because she never expected anything from Regina. I was never very good at the people skills, Regina muses as she thinks back to before they left the Enchanted Forest, I never had a lot of "friends". Acquaintances-yes. Friends-not so much. But there was something different about Cynthia, she actually reminds me quite a bit of Kathryn, now that I think about it, Regina considers as she looks at her friend making faces at her daughter.
Regina smiles as Cynthia helps her buckle the twins back in and walks towards their house together with Tommy and her three youngest sons.
By the time Regina got Tommy and the twins back inside the house, after bidding goodbye to Cynthia and her sons, with a promise of getting together for dinner soon, she realized how late it was and that Emma would be home for lunch soon.
She placed her daughters on the floor in the living room and gave Tommy a few toys while she prepared lunch. She had just finished and walked back into the living room when the door opened and she heard, "Honey, I'm home!" ring through their home.
Regina rolls her eyes and stands to greet her wife. "There is no need to bellow dear, we were merely in the living room."
"Hey babe! I missed you today!" Emma says, kissing her wife.
"I missed you too darling," Regina smiles, "are you ready for lunch?"
"What kind of question is that?" Emma asks with a grin, "I'm always hungry, especially for anything you cooked up babe."
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Lunch was incredibly relaxing for the two women, and after they had finished they put their youngest three children down for their naps and walked into their bedroom.
"So I was thinking," Emma started as she sat on the bed.
"Oh, my dear, I hope you didn't hurt yourself," Regina jokes as she sits next to her wife.
"Har har," Emma mocks. "I was thinking that maybe we should look into those magic books and see if there's anything in there that could help us find a way back to the Enchanted Forest."
Regina is shocked at this. I thought she didn't want to go back. Of course she doesn't want to go back, but she's the Savior, Regina rolls her eyes at the thought of that weight on her wife's shoulders, she will absolutely go back, even if it is just to calm herself and her family.
"That sounds like a good idea, darling," Regina says as she looks at her wife, "should we get started now so that we have some time before the children wake up?"
Emma shakes her head, "I can think of something much better for us to do while our children are asleep." Regina raises her eyebrow, but remains quiet. Suddenly Emma pushes her back onto the bed and straddles her hips with a wicked smirk on her face, "it's much more productive, babe."
Regina rolls her eyes, "stop talking," as she leans up to kiss her wife.
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"Babe?" Emma whispers, checking to see if her wife is asleep.
"Hmm?" Regina asks as she lifts her head to look at her wife.
"We should go into the basement and look at those books and see if you recognize them. They might have some clues on how to find the gateway back."
"Mmmmm," Regina groans as she buries her face in her wife's neck. Emma chuckles as she wraps her arms tightly around her wife. No one else ever gets to see this side of Regina-the human side of her. To everyone else, Regina is this untouchable ideal of perfection. Of course she's always perfect, Emma thinks to herself as she draws patterns on her wife's back, but to see her lose herself, to come undone, and with messy hair and unable to form a coherent thought, that's just for me. Emma couldn't be happier that she was the only one privy to this side of Regina, it makes her feel extremely special that Regina trusts her enough with this. Emma kisses Regina's forehead and whispers, "come on babe, you know that you'll end up doing it anyway because now you're a hero." Regina rolls her eyes. Even without feeling Emma's lips brush against her skin she could hear the smirk in her voice. "I just want to help," Emma says with another kiss.
"I believe you will only prove to be a distraction dear," Regina whispers.
"Well then, my queen, allow me to be your personal jester while you read your magic books." Emma rolls out of the bed and mock bows toward Regina who sits up and giggles at her wife's antics. Emma gives her a goofy grin and says, "I love when you giggle." Her grin morphs into a smirk as she says, "who knew the Evil Queen giggles like a school girl."
Regina glares at Emma as she stands in front of her, "no one will believe you, dear. The Evil Queen is much to powerful to feel such childish things."
Emma touches a finger to her chin in thought, "hmmmm, now that you mention it, no one would believe She squeals like a little girl either."
"I do not squeal," Regina huffs indignantly.
Emma raises a challenging eyebrow before she jumps at her wife. She picks her up in a fireman's hold and spins her in a circle before throwing her down on the bed.
"Emma!" Regina exclaims when her wife initially grabs her, but by the time she is dropped gracelessly onto the bed she is laughing. Emma smiles down at her wife who is poised on her elbows, hair tousled, and Emma has never seen a more beautiful sight.
"You definitely squealed," Emma says with a satisfied smirk. Regina rolls her eyes and looks up at her wife with hooded eyes. Emma groans, "Damn woman, how do you do that? Even when I win, you still win!" Regina laughs as Emma crawls over her, wife "God you're beautiful."
"I love you," Regina says with a smile.
"I love you too," Emma says as she kisses her wife.
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"How the hell do you read these?!" Emma exclaims as she looks over Regina's shoulder at the book she's reading, "what the fuck is that? Is that even a language? Looks like fucking pictures to me?"
"Language," Regina chastises as she continues to read over what the books say.
Emma groans and throws her hands up in the air as she retreats from her wife. "What the hell is that?"
"It's Elvish, dear, and had you practiced more back in the Enchanted Forest, you would be fluent by now," Regina says, not looking up from her book.
"We were leaving!" Emma exclaims, "Why would I put in all that effort to learn a language I would be forced to forget anyway?"
"For a situation such as this darling. We had discussed this as a possibility before we left. You are their Savior after all, we talked about their lack of knowledge about anything and the fact that they would probably look to you to save the day," Regina says as she looks up to see her wife's reaction.
Emma slumps against the wall, "I don't want to be their Savior. I want to be Emma. Why is that not enough?" she asks dejectedly.
"It is enough darling," Regina says as she walks in front of her wife, "you are more than enough. Look around you. You have friends in this world who know nothing of your status as Savior, you have a job you love, you have a family who loves you, and children who think you hang the moon." She places a hand on Emma's cheek so they are looking into each other's eyes.
"And a smoking hot wife," Emma says with a small smile.
"Oh of course, that is the most important part," Regina says with a laugh.
Emma wraps her arms around Regina's waist and leans their foreheads together, "It's not enough for them. I'll always be their Savior. Someone they look up to when I know nothing. I kind of just wing things and hope for the best."
Regina pulls back in mock surprise, "What?" she exclaims, "The Savior from the World Without Magic does not actually know what she is doing when it comes to saving the day?"
"Har har, I could do without the sarcasm, Your Majesty," Emma says with an eye roll.
Regina smirks and kisses Emma's cheek, "they will understand if you choose not to go back Emma. We do not owe them anything. This is our happy ending. If you do not wish to go back I will certainly not make you. I do not want to subject our children to that unless this is absolutely what you want."
"That's just it, I can't just leave them. They're my parents. My family is there, and even if they weren't my family, I would still want to go, at least to see if they're alright," Emma says quietly as she looks at her hand drawing circles on her wife's waist.
"Very well. We will all go check to see if everything is alright."
"All of us?" Emma asks as she looks up at Regina's face.
"Yes, dear. I'm certainly not leaving our children behind, and they deserve to know their family now that we remember."
"We could leave them with Zelena and Robin," Emma says with a shrug. She really did not want to take her children to the Enchanted Forest, it was certainly very different from this world the last time they were there, and if there was danger she didn't want them around it.
"Do you honestly believe Zelena is going to pass up a chance to get back to her magic, even or a small amount of time?" Regina asks with a raised eyebrow. "And she would love to have a fight on her hands again. She called me this morning and she has been feeling antsy since regaining her full memories because she no longer wants to harm me and is apparently feeling upset that she does not have an outlet to channel any anger she feels."
"Crazy Bitch," Emma mutters.
"Emma!" Regina exclaims as she slaps her shoulder.
Emma simply shrugs, "do you think it'll be safe for them?"
"Emma, they will be with 3 of the most powerful magic users in all the realms. I cannot think of a safer place for them."
"Oh yes, The Savior, The Evil Queen, and The Wicked Witch walk into a room. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke," Emma says quietly.
Regina rolls her eyes, "I think that the 3 most powerful sorceresses would have to disagree, at least this one would, and I do not believe I could leave our children behind, darling. I know Henry would be angry if we even tried such a thing and Thomas, Evelyn, and Charlotte deserve to meet their grandparents, and the rest of our godforsaken family."
Emma smirks, "I knew you loved them."
Regina rolls her eyes and moves back to the magic books.
"We should start looking for the gateway in this realm. Do you remember where we came in?" Emma asks as she moves next to Regina.
"I do not. That is why I am looking at these books; hopefully there is a clue."
Before Emma can reply, crying comes through the baby monitor on the table. "I'll get them and bring them down here," Emma says as she walks towards the stairs.
Regina turns back to the book she's reading; there is nothing in here! This book is not even talking about other realms, or travel at all. It is merely mentioning simple spells like levitation. Where is the history of magic? Where are the notes about travelling between realms? Why send us these useless books? If we are meant to go back to the Enchanted Forest, we need to find the gateway, without knowledge on how to find it we cannot get back and then all of this will be for not. This has the Charming's idiocy written all over it, Regina glowers thinking of her arch nemesis-turned reluctant ally, she was always inept. Especially when it came to magic. I blame her father. Incompetent baboon. He never could run the kingdom. He could not even take care of himself and raise his daughter alone. He needed a girl young enough to be his daughter to raise her for him, be lovely and gorgeous at all times (in case he needed to show me off), Regina internally scoffs, and of course be there to warm his bed whenever he should choose to use me. Regina shutters at the memories currently flooding her brain. Being forced into a marriage she did not want, not being allowed to leave without her "husband", being ready at his beck and call for whatever he needed her for-no matter how ridiculous or degrading-
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She's sitting in her chambers. It's her wedding day, she should be happy, but all she's feeling is dismay. She never wanted this wedding, she wanted freedom, she wanted love; and now she has nothing. She may be a queen, but she has nothing. She has a new husband who wants her as a shiny new mother for his daughter. His daughter who happens to only be 6 years younger than herself. How can she be a mother to someone who could be her sister? She's shaken from her thoughts as her maids move around her. Maids-who would have thought she'd ever have her own personal maids. Well, besides her mother, who only wanted the best for her-who only wanted her to be queen. She has been sent to her chambers to 'prepare for the king' whatever that means. She wonders if he wants to talk about her mothering his daughter. That is the reason she's here anyway. Snow is in need of a mother and Regina saved her life without even knowing her-logically the king must assume she will only love her more now that they are family. Her maids are taking off her dress. She will never be used to this, other people doing everything for her. She may have had a governess growing up that would help her in and out of a dress or two, but never multiple maids moving around her completely undressing her until she stands in nothing-not even her corset or undergarments. She's never been in such a state in front of so many people, it's humiliating-well, she supposes she'll have to get used to it if she is to be queen. She was shown her wardrobe earlier. What a strange thing to think-her very own wardrobe, made especially for her from the finest fabrics in this realm. Modesty was not something incorporated in this wardrobe, but she knew that she was very young and very attractive, so perhaps the seamstress thought it fitting to accent these things. She doesn't give it much thought as she is handed a thin robe and is escorted to the king's chambers and is told to wait there for her husband. She's only in her robe! She should not be in such a state of undress to see the king-her husband! Her husband-she shudders to think that she is married to a man old enough to be her father. She sits on the chaise and waits for the king. She's not sure what to expect, why would he want to meet with her in his chambers? That seems a bit personal, even if they are to be man and wife. Regina honestly doesn't understand what's going on, her mother was always vague when it came to what happens in a marriage, never explaining anything more than "always do everything to please your husband. Do not ask questions, simply do what he says. You are here to serve him." Regina has no idea what that means, perhaps she can ask one of her maids later. The maids always seem to know what is going on. Suddenly the doors are flung open and the king stumbles in. She immediately stands and bows respectfully-she wonders if she is supposed to still bow now that she is queen. Better to be safe than sorry she thinks before she is forcefully flung backwards. She is shocked, what was the king doing? Was he going to hurt her? He just married her; he wants her to take care of his daughter, why was he pushing her. The king pushes her again and she stumbles backwards, almost to her bed.
"You are astounding, my precious," he mumbles. Regina can tell that he is drunk.
"Thank you, my king," she says respectfully; she does not want him to be angry with her so she uses his proper title.
"I do enjoy when you say that. Say it again," he tells her.
"Thank you, my king," she says in a confused voice. What was he doing? He was pulling her close by her robe. Oh my, he must think her incredibly disrespectful to be in such a state of-wait. Was he pulling at the fabric holding her robe closed? She immediately pulls away from him and clutches the fabric shut, "what are you doing?"
"Oh do not be coy, my precious," he says pulling her close again.
"Stop this!" she says trying to get away.
"Will you truly deny your husband-you KING-what is rightfully mine?!" he exclaims, "you will do your queenly duty and you will keep quiet." He grabs her again and roughly throws her onto the bed. Before she can get away he has removed his clothes and is top of her. He smells of alcohol and he's so heavy! Oh god she can't breathe. She turns her head away from him and stares at the wall. Tears fall down her face. He pants against her cheek and whispers, "Eva." Tears fall harder. She has never felt so dirty. He rolls off of her and whispers, "well done, my precious, now go back to your chambers." She decides that her earlier thought was wrong; this was a new level of disgust for herself. She has now never felt so dirty. She leaves the bed as quickly as she can, wrapping her robe tightly around herself as she runs down the corridor back to her chambers. When she gets there, she closes the door and sobs against the door. She slides to the floor and curls into herself. She can see blood in the moonlight from her window but she refuses to move. What had he done to her? She sobs harder. He didn't even know her name, he remembered his dead wife, how messed up is that? He called for his late wife, his true love. Regina's sobs slowed and eventually stopped until all that remained were hiccups. She raised herself off the floor and stumbled to the bed. She had never felt such pain; she could not even walk straight. She fell into her bed as new humiliation rolled over her-she had run through the castle with tears on her face and people must have watched her. They will know what has happened; new tears fall until she hears her doors being opened. She tries to stop her sobs-she pulls her blankets up higher on her body to cover herself more. Then she hears a quiet voice ask,
"Your Majesty?"
She doesn't respond, perhaps the maid will leave if she assumes Regina is still sleeping.
"You Majesty, I have been sent to clean you up before you start your day." Regina gasps, so people did know what had happened. She peeks her head out of the blanket cocoon she finds herself in and looks at the middle-aged maid before her. The maid smiles sadly and says, "come along dear, I will draw you a bath."
Regina sits silently in the bath while the maid moves around her. Cleaning her body, washing her hair, combing her hair. When Regina is done, the maid helps her out, dries her, and dresses her in a simple dressing gown. Regina looks puzzled but the maid simply answers, "you will most likely not be receiving any guests today, Your Majesty. You are to remain in your chambers unless the king summons you." At this, Regina's eyes grow wide. The maid notices and places a gentle hand on her arm, "it will get easier, Your Majesty. Just do not anger the king and it will be quick." Regina cannot believe what she is hearing; she will have to go through that again? The maid moves to leave the room but Regina stops her.
"I didn't catch your name," she says quietly. It's the first time she's spoken.
"Louisa, Your Majesty," she says turning back to look at Regina.
Regina smiles and says, "Thank you, Louisa. You are the only person to be so kind to me."
"It is my duty, Your Majesty."
"Oh, of course. Well, you are very good at your job," Regina says trying not to look hurt. Of course the only time people were nice to her was when the wanted something. Louisa here simply wanted to keep her job.
Louisa smiles sadly at Regina and reaches out to touch her arm again, "I would do it even if it were not my duty, Your Majesty, you are very kind and do not deserve what will certainly happen to you during your life at court."
Regina looks shocked but only responds with, "You do not have to call me Your Majesty, Louisa. Please, call me Regina."
"I think not!" Louisa exclaims in a outrage, "how very disrespectful to speak to a queen in such a fashion."
Regina smiles sadly, "I am no queen Louisa. I am just a girl."
Louisa squeezes her arm and says, "If it would please you so, when it is only us I shall call you by your given name."
"Thank you," Regina says with a smile. She does not wish to be queen. She wants to be Regina.
Louisa smiles again and says, "Your breakfast shall be up soon. I will make sure the maids are on their best behavior and I will be up in the evening to help you rewash and prepare for bed."
Regina nods her head.
"I also took the liberty of preparing your room with books, Your Majesty. I hope you do not think me forward, but I overheard someone mention your love of reading and I assumed that you would not want to be left inside your own head today."
Regina smiles. No one had ever been so kind to her. She follows Louisa to her chaise and looks over the books. She smiles again at the kindness Louisa has shown her. "Thank you-" but before she can finish her sincere gratitude's the doors to her chambers are flung open and Snow runs in.
"Regina!" she exclaims as she crushes Regina in a tight hug. Regina can't breathe again, she's still in a lot of pain and she certainly wasn't expecting the girl to hug her so tightly. She feels tears burning behind her eyes and she remembers what this girl's father had done to her. "I missed you at the end of the wedding. Did you and Father talk? He said he was coming to visit you. Are you going to fall in love now? Shall we go to breakfast? I thought we could perhaps go riding today. I want you to see how far I've come!" Snow pulls back to look at Regina and gives her a puzzling looks but before she can ask why she's sad Louisa steps forward and causes the young princess to turn away from her new stepmother.
"Your Highness, the queen will be indisposed today because she is weakened and extremely exhausted from yesterday's events. Perhaps we should leave her to rest and you may spend time with her another day."
It is then that Snow sees Regina is not wearing an outing dress and is her dressing gown. "Oh! Well, perhaps I can take care of you Regina! It will be a sort of thanks for saving me from that horse!"
Louisa shakes her head before Regina can respond, "No, Your Highness, the queen needs to rest in the quiet and my dear princess, quiet you are not," she says with a wink.
Snow looks down dejectedly and says, "alright, but I wish to see you when you are feeling better Regina."
"Of course Your Highness, you will certainly be the first to see the queen when she is feeling better, now run along before you miss breakfast with your father." Louisa orders as she turns away from the princess to look at the queen. Regina is clutching her dressing gown tightly to herself and staring glassy-eyed toward the wall. Snow gives a last look and leaves the room.
Louisa guides Regina to the chaise and gets her a glass of water, "Here," she murmurs as she steps away from Regina. "Rest, Your Majesty, I will send your breakfast and I will see you this evening. If you need anything simply ask the guards outside your room to fetch me."
"Guards?" she asks.
"Yes, Your Majesty, the king seems to think you need extra protection now that you are queen and he wants to make sure no harm comes to you."
"You mean he does not wish me to run away nor for anyone else to harm me," Regina says with tears forming in her eyes, "I am a prisoner here."
Louisa smiles sadly and shakes her head but does not respond to that. She simply murmurs, "Claude and Kam shall be outside your doors until I come this evening, should you need anything do not hesitate to ask." Then she moves closer to Regina and whispers, "Claude is loyal to the king, but Kam is loyal to those he protects, he will do anything you should ask him, Regina."
Regina smiles and thanks Louisa for all her help. Louisa leaves and does not return until evening.
SQSQSQSQSQSQ (you can read from here again)
Regina also remembers other times when the king had humiliated her. When he would make her leave an event to 'prepare herself for him' or when he would parade her around other nobles like some sort of prized animal. Her wardrobe eventually changed to be more conservative, never too conservative, but she was no longer allowed to show much skin. The king became extremely possessive; she was guarded every moment of every day. She had heard whispers wondering when she would bear a child. She could not fathom the idea of carrying that vile mans child so she sought out Rumplestiltskin to prevent that from ever happening. Eventually, the king's visits grew fewer and though her clothing never became less conservative, he did show her off more and compliment her beauty to the visiting nobles. It always made her sick, the way he talked about her, but he usually did not say such things in front of her daughter. It was shocking to Regina, that although all she wanted was to cause harm to Snow White for ruining her life, suddenly she was her only saving grace at royal events. As long as Regina stayed closed to Snow and chose to leave with Snow to 'help her prepare for bed' her husband stayed away. She even realized that the king would not visit her chambers if Snow was there. She found this out when Snow had felt ill one evening.
SQSQSQSQSQSQ
Regina is sitting in her chambers reading a novel Louisa had dropped off when her doors are opened and Kam steps in, "You Majesty, the princess is requesting your presence."
Regina rolled her eyes, but marks her page and stands. Before she can leave her room the princess runs in with tears streaming down her face.
"Snow?" Regina questions as Snow stands in front of her.
"I shall die," Snow says dramatically.
It takes all of Regina's willpower not to roll her eyes at the young girls antics and instead asks, "You shall not die, Snow. What is the matter?"
"I am bleeding."
"Where?" Regina asks looking her over, not seeing any wounds she looks back to Snow. Realization dawns as Regina sees Snow's hands over her stomach, "Oh, Snow, you are not dying. You are becoming a woman." Regina is struggling to figure out how to explain this to Snow. She is sure this falls under her responsibilities, but she was never told what happens during this process, her mother merely told her she was now a woman and needed to find a king to produce heirs for.
"What?" Snow asks as she grips her stomach, "I fear I will not make it through the night, Regina."
Regina laughs and this causes tears to form in Snow's eyes, "No, no, Snow, you are not going to die. Here, come lie down while I get you a warm rag and I shall explain things to you." Snow obliges and lays in Regina's bed as she grabs some rags.
After Snow is cleaned up Regina sits next to her, leaning against the headboard and Snow lays her head in Regina's lap. Regina absentmindedly runs her fingers through her hair as she explains what is going on with her body. Then, Regina is forced to explain why this happens when Snow questions what she had done wrong to deserve this punishment. Eventually, Snow runs out of questions and relaxes further into Regina's lap and falls asleep. Regina does not seem to notice as she continues to read her book. She hears voices outside her chamber but tries her best to ignore them. However, she hears the king and feels fear course through her body. Will he make a scene in front of his daughter? Abruptly, the doors are opened and the king stumbles in. How that man can drink so much and still run a kingdom is beyond Regina, however she had peaked into the treasury and she cannot fathom how he still has a kingdom to run with his decreasing funds. He stares at her and she does not move her hand from his daughter's hair. He turns and leaves as quickly as he had come. Regina lets out a breath she did not know she had been holding. Perhaps keeping Snow close would not be as terrible as she had originally thought. Perhaps the positives would outweigh the negatives.
SQSQSQSQSQSQ
"Regina?" she's pulled from her memories to see her wife standing at the bottom of the stairs with two bassinets, "what's going on?" she asks as she sees her wife gripping the table as if it's the only thing holding her up.
"It seems I was lost in thought, Emma," she says as she turns back to the book she had been reading. Emma sets the bassinets down and moves towards her wife. She does not say anything; she simply wraps her arms tightly around Regina's waist and lays her head on her shoulder. No words are said but Emma can feel Regina taking deep breaths. "I was lost in another lifetime," Regina whispers after a few silent moments.
Emma kisses her shoulder and whispers, "we don't have to go back if it's too much."
"No, no, dear. It will not be a problem," Regina says closing the book, at least I hope it won't be a problem, she thinks quietly to herself.
