(A/N): I want to take the time to thank everyone for participating! Special thanks to Vivian and Jessica who played key parts so if you're reading this now, know that I'm very grateful to have had you two as part of the fun.

Slowing things down a bit to create some real feels here. Thanks to everyone for the support and sustaining this writing high of mine!


Chapter 6: Easing The Pain


One Month Later- The Compound

"Everything up and running?"
"Exactly how we pictured it to,"

Zack smiled.

"Glad I could help," he said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

I flicked the switch and much to my relief, the generator was fully functional.

"Now you guys have power in the second building as well…just make sure to come get fuel when you get the chance to alright?" said Zack.

I nodded and shook his hand.

"How are Zoey and Lily doing?" I asked.

Zack nervously laughed.

"They're with Emile on most days…still trying to figure out things about the infection," he replied.

I raised an eyebrow.

"That's not all," I teased.

Zack let out a sigh, knowing full well the answer he gave me was not what I wanted to hear.

"I cooked her up some food like from back home," he said.

I smiled at him.

"I knew you dug her the moment you laid eyes on her," I teased.

Zack shook his head.

"I could say the same for you Cassanova," he said with a grin.

I looked towards the others who were hard at work.

"I've been ignoring those things…too much is at risk to worry about that right now," I said.

"Cut your shit bro…don't start that fuckery with me," he said.

I looked at him, astonished at his tone.

"If I can run a fucking trading post and still find time for someone special, so can you," he snapped.

I rolled my eyes.

"You're crazy about her man…I'm gonna let you stand by and waste the chance like that," he said.

I shook my head.

"In due time…right now I'm much more concerned about everything here," I said.

He nodded as he blew his whistle, signaling his crew.

"We're heading home boys!" he said.

The crew quickly piled into the two trucks as Zack looked back at me.

"With those generators, your entire compound's got power and I managed to find all of the other items thanks to some friends and some raids at the Best Buy in town," he said.

I nodded gratefully and gave him a brotherly hug.

"I appreciate it as always my friend," I said.

Zack nodded as he gestured for Frani to get in. She quickly ran towards the truck but stopped to look at Jordan.

"I'll be back tonight!" she said.

I nodded as she gave me a hug.

"Don't worry if you can't get everything on the list...just get as much as you can," I said.

She nodded as she got into the truck with Zack.

"If you don't do something soon…you're gonna lose the spark," he said.

He got into the truck and left me to my thoughts.


Later That Evening- The Mess Hall

"Good job with the food tonight Jordan!" said Maria.

I smiled at her as I took the plate from her to add it to the washing pile.

"I have a surprise for you all so once you're done cleaning up, meet me in the bed quarters," I said.

Everyone looked at me, very surprised that I said that.

"I promise it'll be something good so just go bathe!" I said impatiently.

A collective laugh followed as everyone but Flora and Doan left.

"You need help washing these up?" asked Flora.
"Go bathe your stinky self you little gremlin," I said ruffling her hair, spreading soap bubbles all over it.

She growled at me before leaving the room. Doan approached me and began to dry the dishes.

"After all the work you did today, aren't you dying for a shower?" I asked.

She smiled.

"It can wait ten minutes so we can get rid of all these dishes," she replied.

I shrugged; once she said she was going to do something, nothing would change her mind and attempting to dispute her thoughts would only result in your inevitable loss. I washed each of the plates, handed them to her and she would then dry and pack them into the cabinet. We finished rather quickly and half of me was very glad that she stayed to help me; it was a lot of dishes.

"I want to talk to you about something...a little later tonight," I said suddenly.

She looked at me for a moment as if she were attempting to figure out what but my emotionless gaze made it impossible for her to discern it.

"Alright, the usual spot?" she asked.

I nodded and she smiled.

"I'll be there," she said nodding.

She left the room to go shower and after a moment, I did as well.


A Few Minutes Later-Inside The First Building, The Men's Private Showers

Extremely rapid breathing broke my reading concentration. I jumped to my feet and rushed into the room to find that Kyle and Jordan were leaning over their respective sinks, appearing as if they were trapped in an illusion.

"Are you guys ok?!" I said.

No response and the look of fear in both their eyes could only tell me that their Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was attacking their minds once again. I placed my hands on both their backs.

"You're not there guys! You're with us!" I bellowed.

It took several moments for them to respond until Jordan broke out of his trance first. His breathing slowed and I could see his eyes had turned red and tears had started to pouring from them. Killing Jessica couldn't have sit well in his conscience...especially since he was good friends with her. When he killed her back at the station, he didn't really respond to any of us about it and chose to be his usual, lone wolf self. Now I could see that killing her really had a lasting effect on his mind...it must've been hard coming back only for her to have still become infected despite all his efforts. Jordan had also grown close to Vivian during the short time they spent together as she would always help him with the cooking, if not doing it entirely herself. She was a really sweet girl...but Kyle had no choice but to kill her else he risked the entire team. Kyle was easier at taking these decisions but killing a 14 year old girl couldn't sit well in anyone's head...especially since she had become part of the family.

None of us were taking the losses very well. Doan and Jessica had bonded rather well and Vivian had grown into a sort of little sister to her. Flora had also lost one of her closest friends but she was a very strong girl; she goes about her day without a worry and takes things as they come which was incredibly commendable for someone of her age. Maria also took the losses hard, though she wasn't there to witness the death so she was considerably less affected.

Jordan turned to me.

"How's Kyle?" he asked.

He was panting from his vision and I could feel his rapid heartbeat despite my hand being on his back.

"I'm fine," replied Kyle.

He leaned up from the sink before leaving the room without a further word. Jordan took a deep breath before turning to leave.

"Thanks Mabry...I don't know what would've happened if you didn't snap me out of it," he said.

I nodded.

"Take it easy man...if you need some time off to relax a little; you of all people have earned it," I said.

Jordan closed his eyes.

"No amount of relaxing is going to get those memories out of my mind," he said.

He left the room.


20 Minutes Later- The Bed Quarters

"So what's this surprise?" asked Flora.

I watched as Jordan gestured for us to follow him to the third building. He had a smile on his face as he opened the door and invited us inside. We all entered the room to see darkness but I immediately started to squeal once he turned on the lights.

"This must've been what he and Zack were working on for the past two weeks,"

The room was practically converted into a leisure room. The bar supplies left from the other room were all moved into here and homemade bar stools sat in front of the counter. Behind the counter was a large assortment of different alcohols and chasers and much to my surprise, a mini fridge was underneath the alcohol and judging from the presence of electricity in the room, it was still working. There was also a large set of speakers complete with a slightly worse for wear iPod dock sitting on top of them. What really made me squeal was that a microphone complete with a stand was attached to one speaker on the right which made karaoke very much possible now. I looked up and noticed that somehow, a projector was mounted on the ceiling and a very long cord ran down to a desktop computer that sat on the left of the iPod speaker set, complete with a desk. There was ample space for a dance floor and there was also a round table with three packs of playing cards in the middle of it as well as a set of dominoes. Finally, there was a disco ball mounted roughly twenty feet away from the projector.

"How did you do this?" I asked in disbelief.
"Zack and I along with some friends did a lot of work these past two weeks but I think this was something that we needed...we don't really get to spend a lot of time together considering that most of us have a lot of work to do every day," replied Jordan.

I smiled at him.

"So you went through the trouble of getting this whole room done...for all of us?" asked Kyle.

He nodded.

"You all deserve it," he replied.

I couldn't help but grab him in a hug. Feeling a single arm wrap around my back indicated that he greatly appreciated my gesture. He then moved behind the counter before taking the shaker down from the shelf.

"Besides...how else are we gonna hear that beautiful voice of yours Maria?" he said with a wink.

I blushed profusely at his compliment and turned away. He chuckled.

"So...anyone feel like having a party?" he asked.
"With just us?" asked Mabry raising an eyebrow.

A loud knock followed almost as if on cue as Jordan smiled brightly.

"Well...I wouldn't say that..." he snickered.


Later That Night

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" growled Frani.

Flora snickered loudly as she took a gulp of her soda.

"HOW ARE YOU SO DAMN FAST?!" snapped Frani.
"Because I'm awesome?" she replied.

Flora had beaten Frani in a game of Speed for the third time in a row. Another song shuffled on the karaoke machine as Flora immediately turned and started cheering.

"Who's up next to sing?" asked Zack.

I looked up from wiping a glass clean and shook my head with a smile.

"I will!" said Zoey.
"You sure you want to sing this one?" asked Kyle with a chuckle.

Zoey's red face indicated that she was already quite tipsy.

"HELL YEAH!" she cheered as she quickly got in front of the microphone.

Zack laughed loudly as he approached the bar and gestured me to give him a drink.

"Same thing as before?" I asked.

Zack nodded as I quickly put some ice in a glass and pour a generous helping of Scotch and put a lime on the side. He nodded and raised the glass before taking a sip.

"You say you used to be a bartender before?" he asked.
"Back when I used to go to college in Florida yeah," I replied.

He smiled.

"You're pretty damn good at this shit man, glad to have you here," he said once again raising his glass.

I slung the towel over my right shoulder as I took a gulp of water. A few seconds later, a few women approached the bar. The party ended up being quite a gathering with a total of twenty people being in attendance.

The month of March went by very quickly and I was astonished with how much we managed to accomplish in that month. Thanks to Zack and his friends, we were able to get a power station up and running which gave power to the entire compound but during the day, in order to put less wear and tear on that equipment, we used generators that used fuel. Since most of us were now going out into the woods to hunt or gather fruits or water, we didn't spend a lot of time at the compound regardless apart from Maria and Frani who were our designated housesitters. Maria ended up hurting her leg after an accident resetting a whiplash trap near the compound but Emile was more than happy to make the trip and patch her up. She would probably be able to move as normal again in a few more days. Frani decided to stay back so she could read more on cooking due to her desire of helping me in the kitchen. Every now and again, Flora would stay instead of Frani so she could keep tabs on Maria's leg considering she was the most experienced medical mind we had on hand.

Zoey and Lily made a trip to the trading post every week in order to help Emile with studying the sample we managed to recover from the horde but returned on weekends to spend time with us and thanks to Zack's friends, we were able to recover from the tremendous amount of fuel that we had to use in that strike. It wasn't too much of an issue and if it was, they would come back no more than three days later than scheduled. The part that interested me the most was the growing attraction between Zack and Zoey as well as Lily and Emile.

Emile's great medical mind was one of the things that drew Lily to him as she had a strong desire to learn as much as she could from it. Though the attraction on her end wasn't very clear, I could tell that Emile really started to like her. I could totally understand why however because it wasn't very often that someone wanted to learn the details of being a doctor and even less often for someone as beautiful as her. I felt happy for him; being a doctor was often a lonely job because he had to spend so much of his time researching more on the fungus. Zoey also helped out with this but she often spent a lot of her time gathering as much things as she could to make the research effective. The last time I checked on her, she was trying to get a lot of equipment from our friends in the west who actually had a hospital as part of their base of operations. They sent her a lot of what she needed but evidently, she still needed more. Zack took the chance to act upon his interest in her, mostly because she was the only one he didn't consider to be "too young". Zoey was an incredibly beautiful woman with a great mind and one hell of a bubbly personality, something that was needed in these harsh times. I didn't know where exactly they were at but for Zack to be so happy after losing Irina a month ago, she had to have been working some form of magic.

He definitely liked the idea of us having a party to take a load off and he had no problems in setting things up. We had to spend the last two weeks working to get the power station working while he had Gary and his men bring in all the equipment for the room over in secret. Once we managed to get the power station running, it wasn't very difficult to get the room set up. Zack really was a man who could get his hands on just about anything and I was so thankful to have him as one of my, if not my closest friend.

"Jordan is it?"

I snapped from my thoughts to see that four women had walked up to the bar. I nodded.

"What can I get you?" I asked politely.
"Screwdrivers for all of us and do something light for her," said one of them.

She pointed back and much to my surprise, the person in question was Doan. I nodded as I quickly set to work, removing the freshly squeezed orange juice from the fridge. I was thankful that I remembered to squeeze them and load them into containers because they certainly came in handy now. I took down a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka as I loaded ice into the shaker. The ladies were watching me work as I skillfully poured everything into the shaker and began to do some of my old shaking tricks, tossing it into the air in different ways until I was satisfied with the mixture. I used a spoon and poured a little of the mixture into it and tasted it, absolutely loving how fresh orange juice tasted with the light vodka. I placed four glasses on the table and filled all three of them before putting a lime slice on each of the rims. I then took down one more glass and looked at Doan.

"She likes sweet things...but she can't handle her alcohol very well so I'll go easy on this one..."

I took out a container of milk, thankful that Andrew was able to send me a fresh shipment yesterday from his friends at the farm to the south. I loaded some ice into the blender and smiled as I took down the container of coffee. Zack caught sight of my actions.

"YOU STILL HAVE SOME OF THAT?! GOD I LOVE THAT COFFEE!" he cheered.
"Jamaican Blue Mountain's the way to go," I said with a chuckle.

He raised a thumb as I dropped a tablespoon of the coffee into the blender. I then poured milk into the blender until I was satisfied with the volume. I then took down a bottle of hazelnut vodka and lightly applied it to the mixture, being very careful to not overwhelm the other flavors as it was a strong vodka. I then reached into the mini fridge and pulled out a bar of milk chocolate. I broke a generous piece from it before using a knife to chop it up finely. The women looked at me in awe and the speed of my work and I was sure I heard a couple of moans of interest but I paid them no heed. I loaded the chocolate into the blender and put a my hand on my chin.

"It's missing something...what is it missing..."

A bell went off in my head as I quickly ran out of the room and picked some peppermint leaves from the plant sitting on the windowsill. I returned and chopped them finely before loading a small amount of it into the blender. Before I pressed the button, I shook up the mixture vigorously, remembering my old rule of always making sure the dry ingredients infused well until I put it back on the base and blended it thoroughly. I washed off the spoon quickly before taking a taste of the drink.

"Goddamn that's good...needs just a little more mint in there and it's perfect,"

I put more of the mint leaves into it and blended it once more before tasting it once more.

"Bingo,"

I removed a bottle of chocolate syrup and lined the inside of the cup with it and then lining the rim before pouring the drink into it. I then stuck a straw into the cup before pushing it towards the women, who at this point were just staring at me.

"Where did you learn all of that?" asked one of them.
"I read a lot...and I used to be a bartender," I replied.

Some of them tried to stay and get my attention but Maria's beautiful voice drew my attention away. I was so in the zone in making the drinks that I didn't notice that she was already at the microphone.

"Give her something lively!" shouted Kyle

Maria laughed nervously as Gary cycled through the songs on the iPod. He smiled at a particular one and let it play. I began to hear a very familiar beat...in fact, it was one of my personal favorite songs. Gary had a really good taste in music...very similar to my own mostly. The beat was indeed lively and it wasn't long before everyone was bobbing their head or outright dancing. Even I couldn't but start to dance a little in my own way. Then came the vocals...then my breath was taken away.

That voice...that glorious voice.

"Use Somebody by Armin Van Buuren?...man's got a good taste in music,"

I watched her movements and how lost in the music she was as she hit every single note as if it were her own song. I couldn't help but close my eyes and rock to the sound of her voice. Once the long verse was finished, everyone erupted into cheers as the fast Trance beats came back again, sending a fresh wave of energy and electricity throughout the room. I felt an arm suddenly wrap around mine and much to my surprise, Lily was in front of me.

"If you don't go dance with her right now I swear to god I'm going to smash you with that glass," she growled.

I hadn't even noticed that Doan was getting lost in the music and was dancing with the friends she made back at the post. I shook my head.

"This isn't the kind of song I'd consider dancing with someone to," I replied as I retracted my arm.

Lily shook her head in disappointment.

"At some point tonight, you're getting on that floor if I have to beat it into you!" she snapped.

I shook my head but understood her point; she only wanted me to have fun and to stop being worried about everyone...even if it was only for a night.


One Hour Later

"Who's next?" asked Flora.

After hearing most people sing a song at least once, it really seemed to be time to hear Maria again; everyone really loved her voice. It was really funny watching the drunken men sing silly songs like The Power Rangers Theme or even Never Gonna Give You Up but what really caught our attention was when Jordan volunteered to sing a song. I could tell that he had a few drinks as he wasn't walking all that straight but he made it to the microphone. Gary approached him and he whispered something into his ear before nodding.

"I'm really sorry if I give you all ear cancer...but I'll give it a try since everyone else has," he said.

I smiled brightly as Flora handed him the microphone and stepped off. A familiar beat started to play until I recognized the guitar chords.

"He would pick something inspirational...he's too damn nice,"

"If you all know the song, feel free to sing along so I don't sound like a car wreck," he said nervously.

I could tell his heart was going a mile a minute from the expression on his face and the way his legs refused to stay still. I couldn't blame him; everyone was watching, including the girl he liked.

"When We Stand Together by Nickelback? Couldn't have chosen a more fitting song for the situation,"

He took a rather deep breath but then I remembered that he was asthmatic in addition to be extremely nervous; what he was doing right now was probably something he would ordinarily never do. After the first verse, everyone begin clapping to the beat and most even joined in on singing the hook, removing the strain of him having to sing it and waste more of his already shallow breaths. Even I couldn't help but join in. Another surprising moment was at the end, when he actually managed to hold the note to close out the first chorus. He held the note surprisingly well for someone with such a deep voice.

By the second verse, everyone was singing; even Flora and Frani who were up to now still trying to beat each other in card games. I felt my heartstrings tug slightly as I realized that he was looking at Doan though her eyes were closed as she got lost in the music herself. I snickered softly to myself; he was in for it tonight!


Thirty Minutes Later

I couldn't help but start rocking with my eyes closed.

My voice moved in sync with hers.

The intense beat that followed the song inspired many of the adults to go on the dance floor. I laughed softly as I took another gulp of water until Zack moved in front of me.

"You gonna go dance this time?" he asked.

I looked at him as if he were insane.

"Don't you know me by now?" I asked.

He gestured to the crowd and I realized that Doan had disappeared from her spot with her third drink of the night now empty. I looked on in amazement as surely enough, she was amongst the crowd that was dancing. I blushed at the thought of actually going to join her until Zack punched me in the arm.

"Get going you idiot," he snapped.

Much to my surprise, Zoey appeared and grabbed Zack by the arm.

"This beat is fucking SICK! Let's dance!" she squealed.

He shoved the glass he had towards me and hobbled off to dance with her. I let out a breath as I began to clean the utensils I just used. The beat continued for roughly a minute as I cleaned the blender out and left it to dry on the rack. I realized that I was the only one not dancing apart from Flora and Frani as they were still engaged in their intense contest of Yu-Gi-Oh. I kind of regretted finding those things for her but I suppose it helped; she was having fun which is all that should matter. I didn't even notice that Doan had walked up to the counter.

"Is there a reason you're not out there enjoying yourself?" she asked.

I shrugged.

"Dancing's never been my kind of thing," I replied.

She smiled and shook her head.

"Considering the way the world is now...is this really the time to worry about what you wouldn't do? she asked.

I opened my mouth to answer until I noticed her eyes. It was my instinct to always look out for others to see if they're drunk or not and I could see dilation in her eyes.

~ o ~

"Are you alright? Your pupils are dilated," he asked.

I shook my head in slight impatience but understanding; that was typical Jordan. I knew he went easy on me with the drink and I positively loved that he thought of me when he made it. I wasn't really able to hold my alcohol well so even though he didn't use a lot of it, I was buzzed. I knew that I wasn't anywhere near drunk however because I danced most of it off in addition to drinking a lot of water to ensure I didn't go off the deep end.

I actually didn't notice that he was at the bar during all those times there was really nice dance music playing but for some reason, Lily came up to me and pointed at him. She kept telling me that he needed some encouragement so once I had a break, I came over here.

"Do you ever stop being concerned for others?" I asked with a soft laugh.

He turned away but I could've sworn I saw signs of a blush.

"...I've never danced a day in my life," he said softly.

I could tell that he actually really wanted to dance but he just couldn't bring himself to go on the floor due to what appeared to be a horrible case of stagefright. I sighed softly as the song ended but felt a blush come to my face as I saw Maria go up to the microphone.

"I'll be singing the last song of the night! Thanks to all of you for your amazing reception!" she said.

I clapped along with the crowd as she turned to look at me.

"I've been seeing some potential couples in here so this song is for all you guys!" she said.

The strikingly familiar sound of a song I knew all too well started to play. I heard Jordan curse softly beneath his breath as he looked away from me. I gestured him to give me a bottle of water and he did so, still looking away from me.

"Why are you so nervous?" I asked.

He was silent for a few moments as Maria cleared her throat and prepared to sing. Much to my shock, Jordan walked around the counter and stood in front of me before holding a hand out to me. He was blushing profusely.

"...Wanna dance?" he asked.

I felt a blush of my own creep in. I looked around and saw that a few faces were looking at us but at the moment, I didn't give a damn; he mustered the courage to ask me.

"I thought you said you've never danced a day in your life?" I asked.

He looked at me with a heart-meltingly sincere stare.

"I can't think of another person to learn with than you," he said.

If my face wasn't already red, it had to have been a tomato. I smiled and placed my hand in his as he led me to the floor. I heard him swallow loudly as he looked at me, hoping that I would teach him what to do. I shook my head and directed his hands to my waist before leaning in more for a closer dance.

"I'm really sorry if I step on your foot," he whispered.
"Stop worrying and relax," I replied softly.

He let out a breath as Maria began to sing. I didn't know what song this was once she started singing; the piano melody sounded so familiar.

~ o ~

"GODDAMN IT GARY PICKED MY FAVORITE SONG!"

"Sound Of The Drums By Armin Van Buuren...goddamn it Gary,"

I slowly rocked with her in my arms, doing my very best to ignore the glances from the others. A few cheers and wolf whistles followed and I swallowed hard, trying desperately to keep my heart from jumping through my ribs. As if in response to my tension, Doan placed her head on my shoulder and hugged me.

"Ignore them...focus on me," she whispered.

~ o ~

"It's about FUCKING time! God I got so sick of this idiot hiding his feelings for her!"

I looked to Zoey before holding out my hand.

"May I have this dance beautiful?" I asked.

She raised an eyebrow.

"You sure you can dance after all that Scotch and Whiskey you drank?" she asked.

I responded by bowing down slightly, still with my hand extended.

"We'll find out now won't we?" I replied with a wink.

She rolled her eyes but smiled and placed her hand in mine. I quickly took her out to the floor before slowing down and holding her waist, rocking with her in sync with Maria's voice. I half expected the Trance beats to ruin the mood but much to my surprise, the gentle piano melody continued. I looked at Gary only to get a wink from him.

"Motherfucker's a wizard..."

He had somehow edited this version of the song and placed a piano section nearly identical to the initial one to drag out the gentle atmosphere. I looked over Zoey's shoulder at Emile. I mouthed:

"GET THE FUCK OUT HERE NOW!"

~ o ~

I nodded at Zack as I approached Lily, who at this point was merely rocking her head with her eyes closed to the soft piano. I cleared my throat nervously.

"...Would you like to dance?" I asked.

Much to my surprise, she smiled at me before dragging me to the floor. I placed my hands on her waist and she immediately leaned onto my shoulder.

"...Did you want to dance this whole time?" I asked.
"...Maybe," she whispered.

I laughed softly.

"I'm sorry for being blind," I said.
"Better late than never," she replied.

I allowed my mind to ease into the music as I looked at Jordan. The poor guy was so nervous at first but Doan probably managed to calm him down and now, they actually seemed the most into it out of everyone on the floor.

~ o ~

The two minutes of piano music felt like gloriously long hours; this piano music was really uplifting. I looked at Jordan and smiled at the calm and happy look on his face; it was really about time he got some relaxation in because he worked so hard. It didn't help that he had insomnia and that horrible case of PTSD now haunting him but it was good that he finally decided to take a load off.

Maria soon began to sing again and for some reason, each of the couples pulled their heads back to look at each other. I whistled loudly as Maria closed out the song with a beautiful note and once she did, the whole room erupted into cheers and whistles. Zoey grabbed Zack by a hand and ran outside with him. Lily gave Emile a warm hug before leaving to return to the food that Andrew had just brought in from the grill outside but much to her surprise, he joined her. Jordan and Doan however continued to look at each other as if the rest of the world didn't exist. A few moments passed before he hugged her deeply and whispered something to her before letting go of her. She seemed very happy with what he said as she returned to her friends. He went to the bar counter and I took the chance to approach him.

"Enjoyed yourself?" I asked.
"I should be asking you that Miss Master Duelist," he replied ruffling my hair.

I shook my head.

"You know how much it means to me to see you happy right?" I asked.

He handed me a bottle of water before turning the light by the bar off and walking around to me. He then hugged me.

"I couldn't be happier so don't worry alright?" he assured.

I smiled at him.

"Did she ease the pain?" I asked.

He smiled again.

"More than you'll ever know," was his solemn reply.