Corrin Reacts to the FE14 Drabbles Blog!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Corrin Reacts! Jeez, this is the first time we've actually reacted to fanfiction in this volume! Which is only fair; as the esteemed robotortoise has kindly pointed my attention to, there aren't all that many Fates fanfics out there, and indeed I have actually procured most of the best fanfics in this section there are with my acquisitions from last chapter. The other half that I have not procured, I will attempt to later on, and of course as this fic progresses, no doubt, the more talented guys and gals here will produce some for me. Of course, that's for later.

But before I do this, let's give a shout-out to the guy who made this chapter possible, P.T Piranha, or Mod Jakob as he's known over there, for getting in contact with the other mods to ask them if it was cool for me to this chapter (don't worry, most of them gave me their blessing) and of course the lovely mods over on the blog itself for being awesome and letting me write this! Give 'em a hand everyone and if any of you frequent it, give 'em a shout-out from Elf here and tell them they're awesome! Onwards with the chapter!

DISCLAIMER: Fire Emblem belongs to Intelligent Systems, otherwise Candace would get more characterisation.

The stories in this chapter belong to their respective authors.

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.


Corrin sighed, facepalming.

"…..so, he sent you and Setsuna to go after me," he repeated as Azama stood in front of him with his usual cheery smile.

"I would have informed him how much of an utter failure that would've been, but I prefer teaching more practical lessons. You know how I am."

Kaze, who was leaning on a nearby wall, groaned, knowing full well how painful Azama's practical lessons were. Corrin snorted.

"And where is Setsuna now, then?"

"Her usual habitat."

…..

Elsewhere in Fort Corrin….

"Huh," Setsuna blinked as she sat in a pit that smelled faintly of cheese. "….a trap of all places in Lord Corrin's castle."

She leaned against the wall of the pit, seemingly unbothered. "There could be worse traps…by trap standards, this one is rather warm and nice…..I could almost fall asleep…."

….

Back with Corrin and Azama….

"…..how did she even fall in? I filled that pit back in myself," Corrin scratched his head. Azama shrugged.

"It is unfortunately a mystery known only to her," he sighed breathily. "It cannot be helped."

Kaze stood up. "I'll grab a ladder and help her out."

"And try to find where all the dirt and wood went," the prince requested. "Jakob's going to have a fit when he finds out."

The ninja nodded and left the room, leaving Corrin and Azama alone. The monk clapped his hands together.

"So! What next, o Glorious Leader?"

"Go back-wait, actually, don't go yet," the prince held his finger up. "I may have something for you to give to a few people. Odin, get in here, I need you for this too."

The dark mage sprung into the room, looking around excitedly. "What mission will you give me? Will I need to tap into the dark magicks of the void, drawn from the essence of the Sixtieth Darklord?!"

"I am not a gift-giver, milord-" Azama reminded Corrin, but the prince cut him off.

"Oh, don't worry," Corrin remarked with a smirk as he turned the laptop screen to show Azama and Odin exactly what he was about to give them.

It was a repository of stories, marked with the names of nearly everyone in the army, from Elise and Corrin to even the merchant Anna herself. There were even names neither monk nor dark mage recognised. Odin goggled at the vast number.

"Are we to distribute all of these stories?" Azama inquired. "The last I remembered, there is nobody by the name of Ophelia in our army."
"And didn't Kana go mountain-climbing with Gunter?" Odin pointed out. "All these fanfics are going to be hard to give out…although Ophelia sounds like a good name- no, the only name worthy of my line!"

'So Odin knows what a fanfic is. Interesting,' the prince kept a mental note of that. "…no. I don't want you two to give 'em all out. I found this yesterday and I've basically been reading a few of them. I don't know where they went about saying that Kana was my daughter, but I figured I'd leave those out for now. No, I've copied out a few of these stories. I need you to give them to the right recipients."

"Is this one of your grand plans, Corrin? Who's going together this time?" Odin inquired enthusiastically. "And are any of them bound for Lady Elise?"
"No, of course not. I'm not going to target her! Anyway, no," the prince shook his head. "I need to make sure about a few things anyway. And the stories I picked…well, they'll be right up your alley, the both of you."

Azama's smile grew wider. "Oooh. This sounds enticing now. Do share."

Corrin produced several scrolls of parchment. "You two can read them. Don't worry, none of you are in them."

The dark mage and the monk took one scroll each, looking at them. Azama simply chuckled.

"Oh…..I envy you, Odin, I really do," the monk remarked. "To think you're the one who will get to see the look on Leo's face when he sees this one…."


That day, several scrolls found themselves in the letterboxes of various people in the army. When their recipients opened them, they found that these scrolls were in fact stories about them written by unknown authors with various titles. Here were their reactions when they read the stories in question.

Issues

Leo's eyelid twitched as he read the story once. Then twice. Then thrice, just to make sure he was reading it right and this wasn't some sort of magic-induced illusion.

"...what…..kind of abomination is this?!" The prince snapped, showing the scroll to a snickering Niles and Odin. "Who in their right mind would think this is a funny joke?!"

The archer grinned. "Oh, but milord, it is a funny joke."

"Leo and the Lady Tomato! Truly, a pairing that shall endure through time immemorial!" Odin declared proudly, posing magnificently. Leo growled.

"I do not have dinners with tomatoes! I'm not obsessed with tomatoes! I don't even like tomatoes that much!"
"What's that, then?" Niles pointed to a plate next to his liege, piled with half-eaten cherry tomatoes slathered in cheese and pepper, stacked up upon two other plates with the remains of the same. "Is that a snack for your lover, then? My my, milord, you didn't tell us, you sly dog! Perhaps you succeeded in wooing Princess Hinoka without our knowledge and shared some with her?"
"S-shut up!" The prince cried, blushing at the mention of the Hoshidan princess. "I-I don't….w-who told you I had…what?!"

At the sight of the usually composed Leo lost for words, both Niles and Odin burst out into full laughter. Leo seethed irritably.

"…I swear, as soon as I find the person who wrote this….." the prince swore. "First tomatoes and now this…." The archer wiped his eye, clutching his belly as he laughed.

"You're not denying it-"
"W-who even told you I had…never mind!" He shook his head, staring at the parchment again. "….tomatoes! Seriously?!"

Odin grinned. "It's fine if you enjoy your vegetables, milord! You have to-pfffhahahahaha!"

"It's a fruit, Odin! A fruit!" Leo reminded him harshly, before facepalming. "Oh, I am not helping my case, am I?"
"Nope!" Niles cheerily replied. "So now we get to tell Hinoka she has to go compete for your affections with a fruit. I'm seeing the look on her face now…."

"C-compete for my affections?!" Leo sputtered. "What does that mean!?"

'Oh, I love working for the Order,' Niles thought to himself with a sadistic smirk. 'I would die to protect Lord Leo, but his embarrassment is always so luscious…..'

….

Not So Uptight

Hinoka tilted her head at the scroll. "…was this meant to embarrass me?"

"We just thought you might like something nice to ready, milady," Azama explained. "Well…..I did. Setsuna has managed to get herself trapped in a pit again. Don't bother going after her; Kaze and Corrin are already helping her out."

Hinoka nodded. "I…..see. Well, okay. Thank you."

"…..that's all?" Now it was Azama's turn to tilt his head. "…no burning hatred? No desire to track down the author for this? Nothing?"
"Why would I? It's well written enough," the princess admitted. "And it's accurate. My compliments to the author, whoever they are."

"…..you are sure you are fine, right? You don't want to hunt down the author for spreading rumours about you and Prince Leo?" The monk inquired, his cheerful voice faltering as he realised something.

'It seems Corrin's plan failed against ONE person…..' Azama mused. 'To think Lady Hinoka was the one person immune to his pranks...'

Hinoka shook her head. "What would be the point? It's a nice story and all. I liked the part where they made me speak to my pegasus. I confess, I do that sometimes. It's comforting and I find it helps to calm us both down. And so what if Prince Leo falls for me? Is that a bad thing?"

"….well, I cannot make you feel something you don't." Azama conceded. "Well…..it was a pleasure, then!"

He walked off, seemingly disappointed.

The moment Azama was out of earshot, Hinoka squealed in delight and hugged the scroll to herself, before reading it eagerly.

"Heheheh…oh, I can never let anyone know about my feelings…." The princess muttered to herself. "Azama would never let me hear the end of it, and anyway, there's no way he'd like someone like me..."

…..

Huge Tracts of Land

Kagerou and Kaze were busy holding Saizou back, one at each arm, as the red-clad ninja prepared to storm out of the door.

"I swear, as soon as I find that blasted prankster!" Saizou roared. "Who does he take me for, some sort of dirty pervert?! This is no joke! He's taunting us, Kagerou! Let me find him!"

"Brother, it's just a story!" Kaze reassured him. "Don't take it personally! Although I was a bit stupid in it for implying I would….well, do that with Lady Camilla…."

"He's insinuating that I would be so low as to ask around something like that!"

Kagerou sighed, exasperated; this was clearly not the first time-nor would it be the last-that her partner would storm off half-cocked. "Leave it, Saizou, it's not worth it. You don't even know who wrote it. It's just a story."

The green-clad ninja shook his head. "You used to date my brother and you're still not used to this?"

"I know how he is when he takes offense," the female ninja replied. "He's still looking for the person responsible for what happened at the beach party two years ago."

"And if I did do that with Kagerou, I would certainly not be stupid enough to brag about it!" The red-clad ninja snapped. "Let me go! I'm going to find that prankster and shove this scroll up his-"

"His what?" Ryoma poked his head into the room, seeing his two retainers and Kaze. "….am I missing something?"
"Nothing, milord!" Kaze called out, smiling. "Just, erm, keep going!"

The Hoshidan king took one look at the furious expression on Saizou's face and uttered a quick prayer for the unfortunate soul who had attracted his retainer's wrath, before nodding. "Alright then." He walked off. As much of a hardened and skilled warrior Ryoma was, he still shuddered to think what kind of painful death Saizou likely had in store for whoever had angered him this time.

Kaze sighed. "I don't think anyone would be arrogant enough to brag about touching Lady Camilla's breasts in this army, anyway."

'For one, Corrin would be right on it,' he refused to finish the sentence. 'If he was here to see this, I have a feeling he'd laugh himself sick.'


Maybe I'll Forgive You

Camilla smiled as she read the scroll. "Don't you find this cute, Beruka dear?"

"…..this is a ridiculous story," Beruka remarked, rubbing the back of her head. Behind her, Benny was sitting on a chair that he entirely dwarfed, knitting a fluffy scarf. "I can't knit."

The princess frowned. "Oh, come on, don't be so pessimistic. You can learn. I would find it cute if you gave out scarves to little children in town…."

"It's nice for making sweaters in the Nohrian winters," Benny chimed in, raising the scarf in his hand. "Here."

"B-Benny, not i-in front of Lady Camilla!" Beruka hastily replied, blushing. Camilla giggled.

"Oh? Has my stoic retainer been defrosted?"

"S-sorry, I forgot," the knight put the scarf back, looking away guiltily. The princess sighed happily.

"Oh, my, my. I wish I was there when this relationship became a thing….." Camilla mused. "How did you say you got together again?"

"Considering we found them, sopping wet, with their faces as red as tomatoes, I think we can guess the Antic Order got to them," Selena pointed out from the corner. "Lucky that Corrin found them first."

'Too lucky, in fact.'

"I have not been defrosted…..I have simply reassessed my priorities." Beruka replied flatly. "I will assure you that I am still-"
"You know, if you two want to spend time far away from the castle, I know a few nice places over in Hoshido where people won't bother you…." Camilla pointed out with a smile. "Why, I know this-"
Beruka blinked rapidly at her. "T-this is not an appropriate conversation to be making, Lady Camilla!"

'Oh, Niles is right, teasing people is fun!' The princess concluded, enjoying the rise that the unusually flustered Beruka had gotten from her poking. Selena and Benny just sighed at the sight, shaking their heads exasperatedly.

Northern Fortress Training Video

"Perhaps we should look into a similar training program for our own fortress," Jakob rubbed his chin, reading the scroll. Felicia frowned at him.

"T-that's not funny! I'm not that clumsy!" The maid protested. "I only poured tea on Corrin….twice this week….."

"….why am I the one who gets depicted as the worst servant?" Flora complained. "…..I mean, I genuinely didn't want to be here, but…..well, you can understand. That doesn't mean I didn't try my best."

Jakob frowned. "Perhaps, perhaps…."

"…..if this was more accurate, Corrin and I would have spoken more," Flora pointed out. "I…well, perhaps now is not the time to be speaking about that."

The butler continued reading the scroll. "….yes, very interesting ideas. Perhaps I should install these rules in place for training servants. A training regimen to weed out the weak is the only suitable regimen for the high standards Lord Corrin demands!"
"B-But didn't Corrin say he didn't want any more servants? Or any, really?" Felicia pointed out.

Flora nodded. "If I am to be honest, the only reason Corrin has not let us go is probably because he can't take care of an entire palace himself, even with what he's learned living in the Outrealms. If what he told us was correct, I doubt a 'one room apartment' would be able to compare to a palace like this one."

"I? Leave Lord Corrin? The kingdoms would fall!" Jakob gasped, seemingly offended at the idea of leaving his liege.

"Yeah…..I-I wouldn't leave him either," Felicia admitted. "…..and of course…..it's nice to live in a palace with your best friends."

"….that, I can agree to," Flora replied, nodding. Jakob sighed, conceding the point.

"Still, such a training regimen doesn't seem like a bad idea."

"…..I recognise this exact sequence of events," the blue-haired girl pointed out. "…..it's from one of those Outrealm….cartoons, Corrin called it."

"A cartoon?"

"Something like a story with moving pictures. For children."

At that, Jakob blanched. "T-this was intended for children? Why? Who would waste such an exquisite idea for children's stories?!"

…..

First Steps

"….Corrin, did you really think I was going to be embarrassed by this one?" Azura raised an eyebrow at the prince, who shrugged.

"…..I thought it was worth a shot."

The songstress chuckled. "…..well, it's certainly amusing. I still do not know why we're raising a baby Kana together, although Shigure is a good name for a boy, I must confess…."

"Yeah, I think that's a different Kana from our Kana," Corrin explained. "I doubt our Kana's my child anyway. As far as I know, I've never had children and she's far too old."

"…it is a cute story, though," Azura admitted. "Even if it is somewhat odd. Of course, I am a little suspicious about something."

"About?"

"Why did you show me this story? Is it because you intend to confess?" Azura teased, smirking. Corrin rolled his eyes, sighing. "Oh, please, Azura. If I was going to confess to you, I wouldn't do it over a fanfic. What, have you been dreaming about this day, Azura? Any burning desire to have my heart forever?"
"I'm not the one who procured a fanfic involving you and I raising children together, Corrin," the songstress retorted. "If you were anyone else, I'd think you were trying to tell me something. But on a serious note, why? I hear you've been sending fics to everyone in the kingdoms."

"This one was just for kicks, I'll admit that," Corrin conceded. "But the others…..well, I was hoping to probe their reactions."

"Probe their reactions?"
The prince nodded to confirm it. "It'd be useful to know how my lovely relatives and friends would react to embarrassment or something adorable, just in case I need that for a scheme. So far, I know that Saizou's easy to piss off, Leo's easily flustered even if he acts serious, Hinoka definitely crushes on him, Camilla's a shipper and that Jakob seriously thinks Spongebob is a good role model for training people."

"That cartoon you were telling me about? The one with the sponge in a pineapple under the sea?"

"Yes, that one."

Azura snorted. "That's…a little cute, I must say."

"Well, that'll be handy somehow, hopefully," the prince clapped. "So…you wanna read some more fanfic?"
"Sure, why not?"


END


A/N: Woo. It was surprisingly hard to choose which fics were going to appear in this one. I ended up having to do a bit of reshuffling due to revision and changing one of the chosen fics, as well as having to rewrite one of the sections due to it being rather bad originally (not that any of these are particularly good). Anyway, next episode, Corrin Reacts to Sick Episodes! So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!