Hey guys--this is it, the last chapter. The big finale. The grand slam. The whole enchilada, if you will. Finally. Anyway, it's epically long--I was feeling like I should imitate Homer again--so maybe that will make for the wait. So...yeah. Thanks a bunch for reading (and reviewing, hint, hint), and I hope you enjoy this last chapter.
Three days later, and I was as good as new. I had not even a hiccup to ail me. I mean, a slightly infected back, a gaping bite mark in my thigh, and a piece of skin in need of a graft on my shoulder, but not one hiccup. I was happy as hell.
Happy, that is, until I was sitting at the table with Goodfellow, and he made some snarky comment about comforting me in the middle of the night. It wasn't spiteful or resentful, and I knew that he hadn't minded doing what he'd done, but it still embarrassed me. I could deal, for the most part, with Niko watching me melt down and him being there to duct tape the pieces back together. He was my brother, and he'd changed my diapers and given me baths and kissed me goodnight for the first part of my life. There had been an odd repeat here and there of course, but I hadn't been used to the kind of mothering he'd been dealing out over the past few days. Feeling better now, it felt weird to see the people who had been taking care of me like that. It's difficult to go from invalid back to tough guy, but I was sure going to try.
"Shove it, Loman," I said in true Macho Man form.
Robin glanced up from his orange juice. "Touchy, are we?" he commented.
"No," I insisted gruffly.
Robin hid a smile as he drained the juice. "Cal," he said in a slightly patronizing tone, "don't worry about it. It wasn't a big deal, and as long as you have no permanent psychological damage, I'd say that it doesn't need to be spoken of again."
"You're the one who brought it up."
Robin raised an eyebrow and stood. "It's been a pleasure, as always, but I think I have somewhere to be," he said, placing his dishes in the sink. "I'll see you tonight—well, will I? You and Niko are going apartment hunting today, aren't you?"
"Yes, we are," Nik answered for me, walking into the room, fresh from his morning meditation and yoga routine.
"Good luck," Robin said, looking pointedly at me in a way that hinted that Niko would need the extra help in dealing with me, rather than the landlords.
Niko looked at me, curiously assessing, and Robin left. "Is someone being a sourpuss this morning?" he asked.
"No," I said in a way that suggested the opposite.
"I see," he said, getting down a box of Muesli. He poured some into a bowl, added soymilk to the sawdust flakes, and took a bite. "You're not feeling sick again, are you?"
"No," I said vehemently. "I'm just fine."
"Well, there are ways of dealing with a bad mood," he said, skillfully threatening to give me an attitude adjustment if needed.
I rolled my eyes and got up to get more coffee. "So," I said, forcing a lighter tone, "where are we going first?"
"East Houston Street."
"Lovely. Where else?"
"There are availabilities on the Upper East side, but…" Niko let his voice trail off, not saying that never in a million years would we be able to afford any of that. As it is, I wasn't exactly sure how we had enough money to even look at places. I knew that Nik had worked every spare minute the past few days, but no way that made enough for a down payment. Every time I asked him about it, though, he refused to tell me. "There are quite a few things on Broome Street, however."
"Great. We'd better get going then, huh?" I pulled on the worn sneakers that Robin had stuffed in that magic bag of his, and pulled on a pretty clean shirt.
"Patience, grasshopper," Niko said, finishing his cereal. He rinsed out his bowl, then gave me an appraising look. "It's really a shame that Robin wasn't able to retrieve more from the apartment."
"Yeah, like maybe my better shoes instead of these that we bought about five years ago."
Niko gave a miniscule sigh. "Or some of the books."
I could have laughed. He missed his books. Those long, thick, dusty volumes full of information that I'd never care about. That was what he was grieving over. I actually felt a little bad for him. I'd never cared about them, but he always had. Knowledge was power in my brother's eyes, and all of those books full of knowledge had been taken away.
"Sorry about all of that," I said quietly.
"Cal, none of it was your fault," he said, lobbing his spoon at me just for good measure. I ducked just in time, and went to pick it up off the floor.
"You shouldn't throw cutlery, Nik. What would Emily Post think?"
"She'd think that the etiquette of it was completely appropriate for moronic little brothers who can't see when a situation is out of control and completely not their fault."
I shrugged and dropped the spoon into the sink. "Are you ready?"
Niko frowned and came to stand in front of me. "Cal," he said, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Do we need to discuss this further?"
His question was sincere, but it also implied that he was willing to "discuss" with things other than just words.
"No. I just think that we shouldn't overlook the fact that if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even know who the Auphe were, so saying that it's completely not my fault is a little inaccurate, don't you think?"
Niko grabbed my chin to be sure he had my attention. "Cal, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't breathe," he said in a steely voice. "Do you understand that? Because if not, then neither will you."
He went the more direct route with the threats this time. He was all for the tough love. "I understand," I said, and I did, mostly. I refused to even think about living without him, too, but that wasn't really the point.
"Good." He slapped my cheek lightly and released me. "Grab your jacket."
Niko was worried about me. I could tell by the way he was extra cautious—quickly scanning each square inch of any new territory we walked into, subconsciously making me stay slightly in front of him so that he could watch my back, things like that. And the tests. The constant tests. The entire subway ride he was quizzing me and smacking me when I wasn't paying attention. All of these were things he usually did anyway, but they were just amped up about fifteen degrees. It was annoying.
"Nik, what's going on?" I finally asked, slapping his hand away from me.
"I need to make sure that you're up to this."
"Up to what? Apartment hunting?" I asked incredulously.
"It's never just apartment hunting, Cal, and you know that. There are monsters in all the closets, and I just need to know whether or not you're still in shape—that is," he added, "if what you were before you got sick could be called 'in shape'."
I ignored the wiseass remark. "I wasn't exactly bedridden, Niko. It's not like I need to relearn how to walk," I said.
Niko looked up at the tone of my voice. "I know."
"Well then stop treating me like I've been out of practice for a year. Christ."
He raised an eyebrow at that. "Is something wrong?"
If it wasn't my physical wellbeing, it was my mental state. I rolled my eyes. "No. I'm fine. Everything about me is fine. Great. Tip-top. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, even."
We came to our stop, and I stood up quickly. I could feel Niko's eyes on me, but I didn't look back at him.
I wasn't angry. I was more…embarrassed. I'd spent the last several days sick and hurt and pathetic, and I needed to correct that perception of myself. This—being a smartass and trying to show Nik that I didn't need a nursemaid—was all I could think of to do.
So I acted like a brat and stayed two steps in front of Nik the entire way to the first apartment. He was going to call me on it, or at least kick my ass around a little, I knew, but that didn't stop me, and Nik let it go for the moment. And besides, I had something to make up for it later that would remind him of my status as Little Brother of the Year. But for now, I had to prove to him that I was well again.
We walked into the first apartment building, and were greeted by the landlady. Something about her was…off. She seemed familiar, almost, but I couldn't place why. I glanced at Nik, who was now standing next to me, but he didn't look concerned.
"Hi boys!" she said enthusiastically. "I just know that you'll love it here. Come on, follow me. I'll show you the room." She oozed fakeness and smiles. It was sickening. The permed hair, the brightly colored lips, the overwhelming perfume.
…the perfume. That was what was familiar. It wasn't very flowery or feminine, but it was strong, and very similar to the kind that Robin wore when he didn't want things to know that he wasn't human.
"Well I'll be damned," I muttered under my breath. Niko was watching me, and his eyes narrowed and went to the woman.
"Thank you for your time," he said politely, "but we have to go. Something's come up." And with that, he turned smartly on his heel and took the lead out the door before I'd even looked away from the woman. I hurried to catch up with him, leaving the poor landlady sputtering, trying to convince us to stay.
"So…option number two?" I asked cheerfully, keeping in step with Niko. He gave a slight glare that told me he was more than a little annoyed at me, but I ignored it.
"Option number two is two blocks down the street. Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked this in a way that really wasn't asking if I wanted to tell him, but if I was going to tell him the easy way or the hard way. But, like I said, it was embarrassing.
"Nothing, Nik," I insisted. "It's all good."
We walked for a while more, and then he pushed on my shoulder, which threw me off balance, and I stumbled into the street. Scowling, I moved back onto the sidewalk. "That was what I was talking about," Niko lectured. "You're still a little off from last week, and that's understandable. I just want you to accept that and fix it."
"A little Auphe, you mean," I muttered under my breath. Nik caught it anyway, what with his damn supersonic hearing, and he stopped walking.
"I really don't want to hear you say that again. Cal…is that what this is about?"
"No," I lied, "it's not. There isn't an 'it'. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Oh look, we're here. We better go in—we don't want to be late."
A hand reached out and snatched my shirt. "You might want to knock this off, Cal. This devil-may-care act of yours. It's not doing either of us any good. We aren't finished with this conversation." He released me and I continued on into the building without answering him.
The landlord at this building was much more human than the last. He took us upstairs to the empty flat. It had a living area, a tiny kitchen, a tinier bathroom, and one bedroom. Just in our price range.
"The one bedroom thing may be a problem," I commented when the guy left us alone for a minute in the bedroom while he went to double check that there was a phone jack in the living room.
"It may be all we can afford right now. We're still going to have to find furniture and everything else that has to be replaced." He walked around the perimeter of the room. "Besides, it's not as if you and I have never shared a room before. Or a bed, on second thought, because there isn't any feasible way to fit two beds in this room."
"Hey, I didn't ask you to sleep with me that night," I protested, ignoring the way that the sentence sounded when said out loud.
"Oh, I wasn't referring to that," Niko said. "Although, my being closer by may be a good thing if what happened a few days ago ever happens again. I don't think it will, but if it were to…"
"I don't need my big brother to stay with me to fight away my bad dreams," I said obstinately.
Niko sighed. "Oh really? My memory seems to suggest otherwise."
I glared at him, and he held my gaze. I was about to open my mouth to retort, but the landlord reappeared in the doorway.
"Well, what do you think?" he asked, sidestepping a cockroach that was scuttling past. He gave us the rent rates and what the down payment would cost, and Nik told him we wanted to sleep on it, but that we would call him tomorrow with our decision. The guy shrugged and led us down the stairs and out the door.
"One of us could always sleep on the couch," Niko offered as we stepped outside.
"Yeah. It might be more convenient that way too, you know, in case Promise comes over and you two want to do a little…financing."
Niko raised an eyebrow. "Excellent point. You can absolutely have the couch." I rolled my eyes. "The only problem," he continued, "is finding a couch."
"Do we really have to take this one, though? Aren't there any others we have to look at?" I asked.
Niko shook his head. "That was the best of the ones we can afford, from what I could tell over the phone. And the proprietor of this place was rather apathetic, and that could be an advantage to us." Yeah, no kidding. We'd had our share of nosy landlords who showed up at the door at every sound of a broken lamp or falling body, and those things were such frequent occurrences with us that we couldn't have another person like that. Not if we wanted to stay away from eviction notices, that is.
"Well, alright then. I have a surprise for you, by the way."
"A surprise?" he asked warily.
"Yeah. Come on, we need a cab."
Niko reluctantly hailed a taxi, and the driver took us to the address I gave him. We got out, and Nik looked around.
"Where are we?"
"Follow me," I said, leading the way up the steps of the mansion we'd arrived at.
"Cal…" he growled, but followed me anyway. He really didn't like surprises, I remembered.
I politely rang the doorbell, and a woman promptly answered the door.
"You're Cal?" she asked.
I jerked my eyes up to her face. She was gorgeous, for lack of a better word. She was all curves, and had long, curly black hair down to there. She wore a nightgown and bathrobe that left very, very little to the imagination, and I was having trouble remembering my motor skills. Niko's pinch to the back of my arm helped with that. "Uh…yeah," I said, heat rushing to my face.
"It's in the back," she said, turning around. I hurried after her, but Nik grabbed the collar of my shirt.
"Is this some kind of drug scam, Cal?" he asked.
I waggled my eyebrows in a very Robinesque fashion. "Better."
"She's not a prostitute, is she? Because that is not amusing," he whispered.
"Keep your bloomers on, Grandma. It's nothing that will corrupt you," I said.
The woman stopped in front of a door.
"You were informed of my fee?" she asked, holding out her hand, and from the bored way she asked me, I wondered if she really was a hooker.
I pulled out the wad of bills that I'd borrowed from Robin and handed them to her. She counted them out, nodded, unlocked the door, and walked away without another word.
"Cal, what on earth are—"
Niko cut himself off when he saw what was in the room. It was our stuff. Not all of it, but his books, our kitchenware, our towels, our clothes, his swords, and my guns were all there.
I gave a low whistle. "Robin really came through."
Nik turned to scowl at me. "Robin? How did all this get here?"
"Magic," I replied, and Niko took hold of my ear.
"Cal," he said, pulling painfully on my earlobe, "how did all this get here?"
"Robin has…connections with someone with the NYPD, and well, he called in a couple of favors." Niko released me, and my hand went up to massage the hurt spot.
Nik surveyed the room. "You know," he said after a moment, "I don't think I want to know any more details than that."
"Great," I said brightly. "Let's just grab all this and go, then."
"Are you going to carry it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Oh. That could be a problem. Nik had about a thousand books, none of which were paperback. "Hmm…" I got out my cell phone and dialed Robin's number. I asked him to come pick us up, which he reluctantly agreed to. "Mission accomplished," I said to my brother.
"Was this your idea?" he asked, gesturing to the boxes of stuff.
I shrugged. "I needed my good shoes."
A faint smile traced the corners of Niko's mouth. "Thank you," he said, and I knew he was grateful for his damn books. His damn books that he was bound to force me to read at some point in my life. I really should have thought this through better…
Goodfellow picked us up, complaining the whole way back to his apartment about how we'd pulled him away from his very important work—again. Niko ignored his laments and thanked him for "procuring our possessions."
"The sooner you can move out, the sooner Maria Theresa can move in," he said with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. I was pretty surprised that he was waiting until we left, but I decided not to say so for fear of him changing his mind and me getting very little sleep tonight.
"We can move in to the new apartment tomorrow," Niko said, also choosing not to comment on Ms. Maria Theresa.
Robin nodded. "Fine, fine," he said conversationally. "By the way, when I was looking for aspirin last night, I found a bottle of sleeping enhancements that I'd forgotten I had. They ensure a good night's rest with no dreams—I thought maybe you would be interested."
It was clear that the last part was directed at me, not Niko, and that was it. I'd had enough. "I get sick for once in my life, and I have one bad night, and everyone's treating me like I need extra help. I don't. So Loman, you can take those pills and shove them right up your ass."
Robin raised an eyebrow and glanced back at me through the rearview mirror. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Caliban. I was merely offering. If you don't want them, then there's no need to be crass about it. Truthfully, the only thing I want shoved up my ass is—"
"Robin, why don't you pull over?" Niko interrupted gracefully. "I think Cal and I can walk from here. We have some things to discuss."
There was still at least two miles to Robin's apartment, but I kept quiet about that at the look Niko was giving me. Instead, I looked at Robin and shrugged. "Guess we're walking."
Robin gave an unsympathetic shrug in return and sped off once we'd gotten out.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and matched my stride to Nik's. I wasn't going to say anything until he did.
We were silent for quite a while, and then Niko gave a quiet sigh. "Are you alright?" he asked.
"Yes. Why do you keep asking me that? I'm just fi—"
"Cal."
I fell silent, and Nik stopped walking. He turned to face me, and tried to meet my gaze, but I looked away. He stood there, studying me, without saying a word for a while. I squirmed under his gaze because I knew that he would figure it out, and then he'd be all sympathetic, and that wasn't I wanted. I wanted him to drop it, and for us to get on with our lives. The feelings of monsterhood would fade, and I'd be fine. Fake it till you make it, as they say.
"Opening gates does not make you one of them," Niko said softly, his voice full of sincerity. "And getting sick does not make you weak. Being scared does not make you incapable, and it does not change anyone's opinion of you. Not Promise's, not Robin's, and not mine." He tapped my chest lightly on the last two words to get me to look up at him. "Everyone is afraid sometimes, and you have more reason to be than most."
Just as I'd known he would, he'd seen right through me, and he'd said all the right things. "You aren't afraid of the Auphe," I stated. There was no emotion in the sentence. It was just fact.
"I am afraid of them taking the only family that I have. I am afraid of them hurting the only family that I have. But I'm not afraid of them for myself, if that's what you mean."
"Still, though…the gates, Nik. It's just not…human, you know?"
"Perhaps not, but that's one thing out of everything that you are. It's wedged into your DNA between the laziness and the horrible taste in music, both of which are, unfortunately, one hundred percent human."
I sighed, deflating. "Yeah, I guess."
"Cal," he said, pulling more meaning into that one word than I would have thought possible. The way he said it, emphasizing the lack of "—iban" at the end, to let me know that in his eyes, I was just his kid brother, not the half-monster, half-human burden that I liked to think of myself as.
After a moment, I nodded.
"Good," Nik said so matter-of-factly that I almost grinned.
"That being said," he continued, taking on a harder tone, "acting like a two-year old whenever anyone shows concern for you will lower people's opinions of you. So stop."
Niko held my gaze, willing me with his eyes to accept everything he'd said. I knew that he'd meant all of it, and I nodded. "Okay."
I hadn't thought that it would, but Niko saying the things that I knew he would say did make me feel better.
"Okay," he said too, and it was over. He walked around me to get to the other side of the walkway, squeezing my shoulder as he passed. I watched him walk for a few steps, then caught up with him. We passed a chili dog stand, and I automatically began drifting toward it. There was a sharp smack to the back of my head, however, that prevented me from actually getting there. Instead, I felt myself being dragged into the tea shop across the street. I gave the stand which held the promise of eight inches of processed meat, cheese, pickles, and onions one last lingering look, then glanced around the café. There was a large advertisement written in chalk on a blackboard for the tea of the day: Grasshopper Tea. I shuddered and felt a small wave of nausea come over me. Nik ordered a cup and asked if I wanted anything, but I shook my head vehemently 'no'. I'd had quite enough of that, thanks.
The End
That's all folks! Thanks for reading, and thanks Layton, for beta'ing.
Let me know what you thought!
