A/N: Yes, I know Don't Cry For Me Argentina wasn't written for another three years or so. The real Julie Covington semi-famously sang it and I wanted to reference this fact.

Before anyone asks, Pat's song is historically correct. That's actually what she sang. It's the same with Tim's scene. I don't know what Jonathan Adams sang but the Lumberjack Song was first performed circa 1969... so this scene is technically possible.


Scene (Pat's Audition):

THE BACKSTAGE BOYS ARE STANDING AROUND THE PIANO IN THE AUDITION ROOM. THEN, PAT ENTERS.

Jim: hello.

Pat: hello, everyone. My name is Patricia Quinn and I'll be auditioning for the role that sings the Science Fiction song.

SHE HANDS THEM HER RESUME.

Richard: I think you mean Magenta.

Hartley: have you got a song for us, love?

Pat: yes. I'll be singing 'Over My Shoulder'. You know, the one Jessie Matthews used to sing.

Jim: right.

Hartley: Do you have the sheet music?

Pat: No… The piano throws me off.

Hartley: Oh. Well, go on…

PAT SINGS HER SONG, RICHARD SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE THIS. THE OTHERS ARE SORT OF TIRED AND JUST WATCH.

Hartley: that was nice.

Jim: we'll give you a call if it was nice enough, Now, please show in the next person.

SHE DOES AS TOLD, VERY PROFESSIONALLY AND CAREFULLY.

Scene (Julie's Audition):

Auditions room. Usual suspects sitting around. Enter Julie Covington.

Julie: hello, my name is Julie Covington. I'm auditioning for the role of Janet Weiss.

Hartley: song?

Julie: I'll be singing the Andrew Lloyd Webber Number "Don't Cry For Me Argentina".

Hartley: I don't know that one. Which show is it from?

Julie: well, he's planning a play about the life of Eva Peron. Currently it's just a concept album.

Jim: right.

Hartley: go on, then.

JULIE SINGS. BY THE END EVERYONE HAS TEARS IN THEIR EYES, NEARLY. SHE'S ASTOUNDING.

Jim: very good! [pause] Run along now.

SMILING A BIT, JULIE LEAVES.

Richard: "Very good"? Usually I'm the one saying things like that.

Jim: usually I'm not so impressed.


Scene (Jonathan Adam Auditions):

AUDITION ROOM. BACKSTAGE BOYS ALL SITTING AROUND, WAITING. JONATHAN ADAMS ENTERS WEARING COOL SUNGLASSES.

Adams: my name is Jonathan Adams and I am auditioning for the role of the narrator.

Jim: right.

Adams: I have prepared a song.

Hartley: what's the song?

Adams: oh, just a comedic song. [Overly sorrowful] Not that I wanted to be a comedian. No, no… how foolish such a life is! I really wanted to be a Lumberjack.

SINGS AND DANCES THE SONG. THE GUYS REALLY GET A KICK OUT OF IT, EVEN JIM.

Jim: that was great.

SCENE ENDS WITH ADAMS WINKING AT THE AUDIENCE, WITH A CLEVER SMILE.

Scene (Ray's audition):

THE BACKSTAGE BOYS ARE IN THE AUDITION ROOM. RAY BOURTON ENTERS.

Ray: hey, guys… I'm Rayner Bourton and I'll be auditioning for the role of Frank.

Jim: no, you're playing Rocky.

Ray: huh?

Richard: he's not a muscleman. Rocky must be a muscleman, Jim.

Jim: don't you understand how hard it is to find a muscleman who can sing and act?

Richard: he's too glam. Look - he's got nearly the same haircut as Brian Connolly.

Jim: so? Rocky is very glittery and vane, alibi in an innocent way. Mr. Bourton is the best we've seen so far.

Hartley: have you got a song for us?

Ray: uh, no.

Jim: [to Richard] we've found our Rocky!


Scene (Tim Curry's Audition):

(Guys are standing around. Enter Tim)

Richard: Tim. You came! Er, but not like that.

Tim: yes.

Richard: this is Tim curry. He's auditioning for the character Frank.

Tim: I am. I'll be singing "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard.

Jim: right.

(Tim sings. It goes over well enough.)

Jim: right. We'll call you back if you made it.

Tim: groovy.

[he leaves]

Jim: Richard? Do I want to know why you're so keen on him?


Please Review!

Does anyone have a favorite line?