Chapter 9: Adrenaline
"That's not all you're having is it Neville?" asked Ginny, surveying him from across the table and frowning down at the small portion of food he had collected for himself.
Normally it was Hermione getting on him about what he did or didn't eat but she was rather preoccupied squabbling with Ron at the moment.
Neville looked down at his plate. He had a garden salad and a bowl of soup.
"Er, I don't want to over-do it."
"Yeah, but you've got to have energy for try-outs tonight."
"Oh, trust me. I'll find some energy somewhere."
Ginny raised both eyebrows, verbally signaling that she disagreed with him but did not say anything.
"Oh, Neville that can't be all you're eating?"
Hermione's motherly tone suddenly jumped into the conversation as she turned to him and immediately dismissed his idea of lunch. "You can't expect to try-out for quidditch and do well on an empty stomach? Here, eat some of this."
Hermione grabbed some pork chops and began piling them on a plate along with some potatoes, a scoop of vegetables and a dinner roll.
"There," she replied setting the plate down in front of him and admiring her handy work.
"Now that's a meal."
Suddenly without thinking Neville pushed the plate aside.
"Thank you Hermione but the last time I checked I was pretty sure I still had the capability to feed myself."
That had come out a lot more rudely than Neville had intended because Ginny, Dean and Seamus along with Hermione and a few more surrounding gryffindors gawked at him, surprised to hear such sharpness in his voice.
Hermione blushed and didn't say another word for the rest of lunch.
Neville soon enough came to regret what he had said but he couldn't help it. He was so tired of being judged and ridiculed over what he chose to put in his mouth. It wasn't right. He wished everyone around him would just mind their own business and go back to ignoring him completely like they had in previous years.
No one had ever taken notice of what he ate or even how long he took in the washroom before.
So why now? Why did it matter now?
Neville had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice when Dean and Ginny left. He looked up and found that his wish had been granted, at least for now.
No one was paying any attention to him.
He grabbed the plate Hermione had prepared for him and took a few small bites of it.
Then it became too tempting, he pushed the plate away and returned his attention to his garden salad, which rather than eat he continued to poke at with his fork.
Without saying a word to anyone Neville got up and exited the Great Hall.
------
"Ginny, you are completely blowing this out of proportion! It was a stupid magazine quiz! So what I didn't know a couple of answers? Are you really going to let a quiz in a magazine define our relationship?"
"Dean! It's not that but just the fact that you don't even seem to care that you didn't know these things about me! It was so embarrassing!"
"I do care."
"Yeah, well you sure aren't acting like it!"
"What do you want me to do then Ginny? Hmm? Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg you for forgiveness? Do you want me to keep taking the quiz over and over again until I ace it?"
"Well, actually listening to me would be a start," she retorted coldly.
"I listen! I'm listening!"
"No, Dean. I mean other than when we're arguing. If you truly listened to me you would have known every single one of those answers."
"Well Ginny, I'm sorry. Okay?"
When Ginny didn't accept his apology, Dean got angry.
"What do you want from me Ginny?! Every time we fight it's always something I did! You can never admit to when you do something wrong and I never try and make you because I know it'll just start a fight! So why don't you try being the bigger person for once, Gin? Hmm? Just swallow your pride and for once admit you're wrong!"
"This is just it Dean! You are so self-centered that you even think all of our fights revolve around you! It's pathetic! It's not all about you Dean! This is about me and how I'm feeling! And you'd know exactly how I feel half the time if you actually listened once in awhile! Although I imagine it's kind of hard for you to listen when ninety-five percent of the thinking you do involves your jimmy!"
Dean's eyes flashed and his tone began to rise.
"Funny you say that considering we don't do much of anything anymore…"
"Oh! YOU!" Ginny stopped herself and pointed a finger in his face.
"All you seem to care about is sex! You're such a wanker!"
"Oh, gee Ginny…no need to be modest," he replied sarcastically.
"PISS OFF!"
"Ginny look, we need to get this all out now before try-outs because I refuse to cause a scene, alright? So go ahead and scream, insult me some more, do your worst."
Ginny screamed at the top of her lungs in frustration.
Suddenly they both froze as the fat lady granted someone entrance.
It was Neville.
Ginny quickly walked away from Dean and began to advance towards Neville.
"Excited about try-outs Neville? I'd get-"
"Sorry Ginny, can't talk now!"
Neville vanished up the stairs to the boys' dorms before she could finish.
Dean and Ginny exchanged puzzled glances.
"Wonder what's wrong with him?" questioned Ginny, more towards herself than Dean.
Dean sighed.
"I'll go check on him," he offered.
Dean made his way up to the boys' dorms and sure enough the door to the washroom was wide open and inside was Neville, leaning over the toilet.
Dean lightly tapped on the door.
Neville jumped and immediately stood up straight and turned to face Dean.
He gave Dean a nervous smile and adjusted his crooked glasses.
"Uh, you okay?" asked Dean.
"Yeah I'm just really nervous about try-outs."
"Are you sure?"
Neville forced a cheeky smile and nodded.
Dean stood in the open doorway and crossed his arms over his chest, observing his clumsy dorm mate for a few minutes.
Something was off about Neville lately but he couldn't place his finger on it.
Neville's nerves started to go jumpy and he wondered why Dean hadn't left.
"D'you have to come in?" asked Neville.
"Oh, no…sorry I'll just uh, leave then."
Dean turned around and closed the door behind him and made his way back down to the common room.
"Is he alright?" asked Ginny.
"Uh yeah…" replied Dean hesitantly.
Ginny stared at Dean knowing that there was more.
"Well, what was he doing?" she prodded.
When Dean didn't answer Ginny continued.
"He wasn't being sick again was he?"
"No, I mean…he was over the toilet but he hadn't been sick yet."
"What is this like the third time you've found him being sick in the past week?"
"Yeah but you know how Neville is. He's a nervous wreck half the time over nothing, always has been. He just needs to learn how to relax and get a handle on his nerves. He's probably just jittery about try-outs coming up in a few hours. He always has had a rather weak stomach towards any sort of new challenge he faces, you know?"
Ginny nodded.
"I suppose you're right."
------
'Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!'
Neville couldn't believe he had left the washroom door wide open again for anyone to just walk up and find him. He slapped a hand against his forehead, locked the door and uttered a silencing charm.
Neville placed his hands on his knees and bent over the toilet again.
What little lunch he had eaten came up easily enough and it had only taken five or six heaves to get it all up, which was very unusual but good.
Neville flushed the toilet, wiped his nose and brushed his teeth.
He hated the feeling of his shirt fabric sticking to his skin so he quickly peeled off his uniform and jumped in the shower to freshen up.
When he got out of the shower and dried himself off he put his glasses back on and began to observe himself in the mirror.
His eyes traveled down his entire body and while he had come a long way from where he used to be, he was still an unsightly mess that he could hardly stand to look at.
If anyone else were to look at him right now they'd see a normal looking boy who stood six feet three inches high and weighed one hundred and sixty pounds. They'd see that while he was very thin, he wasn't sickly so and they'd be reminded of how he had always been chubbier in his younger years and would just assume the baby weight had redistributed as he grew in height.
But then they would also take notice of the fact that although he wasn't sickly thin, he wasn't far from it. Then they would take a closer look at his definite collarbone and how sharp it was becoming, along with the sight of a few more visibly countable ribs and proudly jutting hip bones.
But what Neville saw was entirely different. He saw multiple chins, rolls of fat and love handles. There wasn't one part of his body that he even saw as just good enough.
He let out a sigh as he began pinching all of the fat that he believed clung to his body.
'Well, look on the brightside. At least it doesn't look like you've gained any extra weight.'
'Are you kidding?! You've gained at least an entire stone since you got here, fatty! So repulsive, I can't even imagine what girl would want to wake up next to THIS every morning!"
Neville finally turned away from the mirror and put his trousers back on and was pleased to discover that they were slightly looser on him than they had been earlier.
It seemed crazy, but after every purge he felt thinner. He knew better though, he knew that in reality it hadn't actually done anything to improve his waist size but still, he loved the feeling.
Suddenly there was another soft knock on the door.
Figuring it was just Dean checking up on him again, Neville opened the door.
But it wasn't Dean, it was Ginny.
The warmth growing in Neville's face continued to spread down further.
'Oh god…what are you doing! Shut the door, you idiot! You don't want her to see you like this! You look hideous!'
Neville was frozen. He could only stand with his hand on the doorknob and watch in horror as Ginny's wide eyes traveled up and down his shirtless torso, taking in all of the stomach-turning, flabby mess that made up his body.
Ginny opened her mouth but found she was unable to speak. She only continued to ogle the sight of a shirtless Neville Longbottom standing right in front of her.
'See, look at'er! You've traumatized the poor girl! She's in shock at how fat you are!'
Neville slammed the door in Ginny's face and began to panic.
'Oh god, now that she's seen me like this…she'll never speak to me again! I mean, the look on her face…she was disgusted!'
But in reality, Ginny hadn't been disgusted. In shock, yes, but not because Neville was fat but rather he was…sexy! Who would have thought that under the robes and layers of clothes he wore that Neville had a body! Nobody would have known because Neville always wore the most unflattering clothes, sweaters that were too big for him and loose fitting pants that did nothing for his bum.
Ginny felt like an idiot standing there, gawking while nearly salivating all over him. She wondered if he would ever be able to look her in the eye again after this.
"Neville?" She called knocking lightly on the door. "Sorry if I uh, startled you but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Dean's left to go set up for try-outs so I'm the only one here right now…"
"S-sorry Ginny I'll be right out."
"Alright, I'll be downstairs."
Neville poked his head out the door slowly to make sure Ginny had left and quickly sprinted out, grabbed a clean sweater and threw it on.
He sprinted downstairs, making sure to leave as much space between him and Ginny as possible when he sat down.
For the first few minutes neither looked at the other.
"So, Dean told me about how brilliant you were in defense against the darks arts today when you all dueled. He told me you were second best to Ron, which to be honest surprises me…Ron's never been that great at dueling."
"I just got lucky."
"That's not how Dean described it. He said that you cursed Michael Corner into growing multiple limbs all at once."
Neville suddenly felt a spike in his normally non-existent annoyance meter at the mention of Michael Corner, not even that but just the fact that it was Ginny saying his name.
"Where did you learn that curse Neville?"
"Oh, I've been using it in the greenhouse for ages now. I use it on damaged plants and plants that have become uprooted. It's really very useful…I didn't know it'd be useful in a duel as well. I just took a shot."
Ginny smiled and Neville's heart fluttered.
"See Neville, if you come to try-outs with that same amount of confidence you had when you dueled earlier then I just know you'll make the team!"
"I uh, wouldn't have necessarily called it confidence…"
"Then what would you call it?" she challenged.
"Er…"
"See," Ginny replied with a smirk.
"So uh, what quidditch positions are available?"
"Well we're looking for a new keeper; I mean that's our most important position to fill at the moment. Then we just need one more chaser and one more beater."
"Right."
"Well from what Dean got watching you duel he said you have fast reflexes. That would definitely be an excellent attribute for chasing…"
Suddenly Ron entered the common room and sat down across from them.
He fell back against the chair and sighed dramatically.
"Yes Ron?" began Ginny.
"Women…are a very confusing breed."
Ginny's eyebrows rose.
"And men aren't?"
"They just mess with your head! And the sickest part about this is they enjoy doing it!" exclaimed Ron.
At this Ginny grinned wickedly.
"Why yes, we are rather skilled in our craft to make all you miserable at any cost."
Ron groaned and placed his hands over his face.
"I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier Ron but you were really great during the duels," replied Neville.
"Yes, surprisingly so…" added Ginny, stroking her chin. "Now who are you and what have you done with my brother?"
Ron glared at Ginny and turned to Neville.
"Thanks mate. I just got this strange rush of adrenaline right before we began dueling. You weren't so bad yourself, bloody brilliant in fact. So where did you learn all of those curses?"
"Most of them I'd been using in the greenhouse for years while working with certain types of plants."
"Really?" replied Ron.
"Yeah, so it's not really that interesting."
"Not interesting? Mate, if you've cursed someone to where they're sprouting extra limbs at like two per second that's very interesting!"
Neville blushed.
"Well, I suppose I ought to go make sure Dean's doing alright setting up for try-outs. I'll see you later Ron and you, Neville, I'll see in a few."
As soon as Ginny left Neville's nerves began to start up again, as try-outs were looming closer and closer.
"I'll tell you this, being on the quidditch team was the best experience," began Ron. "If it weren't for all of this other stuff going on…" he suddenly stopped himself realizing that he along with Hermione had made an unspoken agreement to Harry that they wouldn't speak to anyone else outside of their circle about certain things. "I'd still be on the team." He finished quickly.
"Yeah," replied Neville dully.
"So," began Ron quietly. "How is Hermione? I haven't talked to her in what seems like ages…other than you know, in arguments."
"Oh, she's fine…you know Ron, you should just talk to her. She uh, misses talking to you and I think she'd really appreciate it. Talk to her tonight."
Ron looked back up at Neville, surprised at how generous he was being.
"Really? She misses me? Did she say that?"
Neville nodded.
This had been somewhat of an innocent fabrication. Hermione hadn't actually vocalized in so many words that she missed Ron but the fact that she always managed to find a way to bring him into almost any topic of conversation in some way, even if it was in a negative light, was her way of expressing that she missed him, even if she wouldn't openly admit it. Neville knew she did.
"Are you sure…approaching her is a good idea? I mean, it doesn't seem to me like she wants much of anything to do with me anymore…"
"Ron, that's not true. Just talk to her."
"What do I say?"
Neville scoffed.
"She's one of your best friends…just talk to her like you normally would."
"Right, brilliant! Well, I don't want to get sappy or anything…"
"Just be honest, tell her how you feel about her."
Suddenly Ron's eyebrows shot up and disappeared into his hairline.
"Er, I mean…like you know, about how much you cherish her friendship," Neville quickly countered.
"Oh right, yeah."
"Well, I'm going to rest before try-outs. See you later."
"Good luck and thanks Neville."
------
"Alright, welcome to quidditch try-outs everyone. I'm going to assign each of you a position and then we'll switch it up to where everyone gets a turn to play each open position. Two of you will have to sit out for this first round until we can swap you in for two more players. Any questions?"
Dean surveyed everyone and began fussing with the whistle around his neck.
"I assume everyone here knows the rules to the game and how to play?"
No one said anything.
"Good, well I'm going to go make sure the team you will practice against is ready. I'll be right back."
There were a total of five players trying out including Neville himself and he soon realized he was the oldest among them. Out of the four others he only recognized three of them. Gertrude Crougar was a fourth year he had tutored in Herbology last year. She glanced up and smiled at him, giving him a small wave. He smiled back at her.
Then there was Gabe Valentine, a sixth year who he sometimes saw hanging out with Ginny. And finally was Pablo Knott, a fifth year who had entered his plant in the same exotic plant competition Neville had over the summer and ended up placing sixth. The other boy who Neville did not recognize looked older and was a sixth year at most.
"Neville," Ginny began coming over to him. "I told you to show up early remember? You would have had time to practice…"
"I know. I'm sorry, Ginny. I overslept. I doubt even a half hour would benefit me. Just watch, I'm going to blow this just like I've been telling you."
Ginny playfully slugged him in the arm.
"There are five of you here and only three available positions. You will be judged in four different areas of athleticism which I like to call the four s's- stability, speed, strategy and sportsmanship. Whether or not you make the team will be based on combined score totals from each category, an individual evaluation and finally deliberation from myself as team captain and the other players that make up this team. Any questions?"
When no one spoke up Dean continued.
"Before we begin try-outs I would like to introduce to you the current members of our team. I'm Dean Thomas and I am an outside chaser. This here, is Parvati Patil, she is our other outside chaser. Right here, is Ginny Weasley and she is our seeker. And finally, last but not least is Henry Timm who is our open side beater."
They all smiled back at the recruitees smugly, showing off the fact that they already had guaranteed spots on the team.
"Alright, the hufflepuff's were kind enough to offer to play against us so we'll be practicing as if this were a real match. Now, we're looking for a keeper, a center chaser and a blind side beater. I think we're ready to play, to start off I want Neville as our center chaser, Gabe as our blind side beater and Gertrude as our keeper. Now, Pablo and Leon, you guys just sit tight, alright? We'll get you in too."
Both boys nodded and stepped back as Dean released the balls. Then he, Ginny, Parvati and Henry all mounted their brooms and flew up into their positions.
Neville's stomach dropped. He suddenly felt very ill. His grasp on his broom was slipping due to his sweaty palms. It had been a long time since Neville had ridden a broom, at least not since his fifth year.
The hufflepuff team soon followed on their brooms.
Neville was going to need a miracle.
"Neville! Wait!"
Neville turned around to see Hermione accompanied by Harry, running down the field towards him.
"We wanted to come and cheer you on," she replied, out of breath. "Good luck!"
"Yeah, good luck mate," began Harry. "Although I don't think you'll be needing it considering what you pulled out of your sleeve earlier today during the duels."
Neville blushed.
"Thanks…"
"Just remain calm. Take a deep breath and remember it's just a game, okay? You'll do great!" replied Hermione encouragingly, pulling him into a lung crushing hug.
Gertrude and Gabe had already flown into their positions and Neville knew they were waiting on him so he mounted his broom and prayed for a smooth take off.
Surprisingly, that is what he got. He flew up into the center position between Dean and Parvati and tried to calm his nerves by taking deep breaths as Hermione suggested.
"Oy! Harry?" Dean called down. "Would you do the honors?"
"Sure thing!" Harry called back up.
Dean sent the quaffle straight to Harry and he tossed it right back up.
'This is it…the point of no return. Just keep your eye on the ball, don't get hit by a bludger and remember that Ginny's watching! So try not to make too big of an arse out of yourself!'
One of the hufflepuff beaters immediately took action and drove a bludger straight towards Dean, who had been caught off guard. Dean took the hit and missed the quaffle which had been right within his reach. Parvati grabbed the quaffle and flew towards the first hoop only to have narrowly escaped the second bludger.
Dean was being blocked and attempting to get open.
Neville quickly flew over to one of the hoops and raised his hands up.
"Parvati!"
She tossed the quaffle and it flew towards him very slowly, afraid that the other team would intercept it he quickly flew away from the hoop, grabbed the quaffle and sped back. He not only heard the sound of a bludger zooming past his head, but felt the rush of air sweep past him.
He could hear Ginny screaming, cheering him on as he whizzed by one of the hoops and threw the quaffle straight in without complication.
"YES, NEVILLE!"
Ginny flew over to him beaming.
"See, what I told you!" she squealed, hardly able to contain her excitement as she grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.
"That was brilliant, mate!" began Dean. "You're a lot faster than I expected you to be!"
Neville had actually been enjoying this small victory until Dean had said that.
'Wonderful, another reference to how fat you are.'
'Can you blame him? Your fat arse can barely fit on this broomstick as it is and all of this extra fat you've got on you adds extra weight to the broom, thus causing you to move slower! I bet if you lost another ten pounds you could move faster than anyone else on the team!'
"Er, thanks…" replied Neville.
"Well, I meant…seeing as how you've never really been all that confident in your flying skills. Didn't mean to make you think I was taking the mickey."
"No, I know."
They continued a few more rounds with Neville as center chaser. Dean scored twenty points, Parvati scored ten points and Neville had scored them an additional thirty points, making their total score seventy to hufflepuff's sixty.
"Alright, now Neville I want you to play as our blind side beater now, Gertrude our center chaser and Gabe our keeper."
After Harry threw the quaffle one of the hufflepuff chasers grabbed it and flew towards the hoops. Neville quickly summoned a bludger and knocked it as hard as he could towards the chaser, hitting the back of their broom and knocking them off balance.
"Nice hit, Neville!" Dean called.
Gertrude then flew by and collected the quaffle which had fallen out of the hufflepuff's grip and headed towards the hoops only to be hit by the other bludger.
Dean quickly relieved Gertrude and effortlessly threw the quaffle into one of the hoops.
Suddenly one of the hufflepuff chasers flew down under the other players and ended up right in front of the gryffindor goal post.
"I'm open!"
The other chaser who had the quaffle tossed it to the open chaser who easily tossed it through one of the hoops.
They could hear Gabe cursing to himself.
"It's alright! You'll block it next time." Dean assured him.
After this round hufflepuff had pulled ahead and was now leading by thirty points.
Dean decided it was time to bring Pablo and Leon in so Neville and Gertrude volunteered to sit out for the next couple of rounds.
As soon as Neville's feet touched the ground, Hermione nearly knocked him off his broom before he even had time to get off.
"Oh, Neville! You are doing fantastic!"
"You really are, mate," added Harry. "In fact, I think we're looking at our newest quidditch superstar," he joked, slapping Neville on the back.
"Oh, well…I have to admit. I am having fun."
"See…" Hermione began, hooking her arm through his and leading him away from the field so the three of them could talk in private. "This is what happens when you start to let go of the idea that you're going to fail at everything you do. I think you're finally starting to gain a little bit of confidence in yourself! If you keep this attitude and put it towards other aspects of your life, just think of the ultimate gains you will win for yourself!"
"Oh, Ron and Seamus told me to tell you that although they aren't here, they're rooting for you," added Harry.
Neville turned towards his raven haired friend and was invited to a rude awakening by the red, lightning bolt scar emblazoned on his forehead.
Neville began thinking again about how close he had been to being where Harry is right now. Voldemort had two infant boys to choose from and had one split second change in Voldemort's decision occurred on that fateful night seventeen years ago, Neville could have been the boy who lived and then he would be the one to bare the lightning bolt scar on his forehead, he would be the one orphaned and left to relatives.
He had the sudden urge to grab Harry and tell him everything he had learned from Francis about his own fate and how similar it truly was to Harry's. He wanted to assure Harry that he wasn't alone and in return listen to how Harry himself has coped with having such a tremendous burden placed upon his shoulders. He also wanted Harry to bring him reassurance that he wasn't alone either, because after seventeen years of feeling alone Neville was ready to open up and face the truth. He was ready to let someone else inside his world, someone just like him who understood everything that he was feeling and who would have to go through everything he was about to go through.
"Neville? Are you alright?"
Neville looked up to see Hermione watching him warily.
"Yeah, 'm fine."
But Neville wasn't fine.
Sometimes he found himself desperately wishing that someone would see through his lies and try to get to the bottom of what was wrong with him but at the same time the thought of that terrified him. Neville had many secrets that he chose not to share with the world and many of them happened to be secrets he planned to take to his grave.
Neville removed his glasses and rubbed the lenses off on the bottom of his sweater.
"I appreciate you both coming down here. It means a lot," he told them.
"Of course Neville, we're your friends," replied Hermione.
Neville looked at Harry who was staring right back at him.
Harry very discretely pointed his wand towards Gertrude and suddenly her broom flew off.
"Oh no!" she shouted, running after her broom.
Hermione saw what had happened and took off after Gertrude.
"Listen Neville, I need to talk to you alone sometime."
Neville put two and two together that Harry had bewitched Gertrude's broom to distract Hermione and by the looks of it he didn't have much time to explain anything of real importance to Neville without the whole incident looking suspicious to Hermione.
"About what?"
"Can't talk about it here…just look for me whenever you have a moment to spare."
Hermione had rejoined them merely seconds later.
"That was strange…" she observed.
"Alright, Neville and Gertrude you're in!" called Dean suddenly.
They both mounted their brooms and flew back up into the game.
This time Neville was serving as the team keeper. As soon as the quaffle flew up into play a hufflepuff chaser was already making their way towards Neville, who began to panic. How was he going to successfully guard all three hoops?
Neville began flying back and forth in front of all three hoops as the chaser advanced towards him. They threw the quaffle towards the center hoop. Neville moved quickly and caught the quaffle before it had a chance to go in.
"YES!" came Ginny's voice.
"Great save, mate!" followed Dean's voice.
As this round continued Neville blocked six attempted goals and only allowed two to go in. While he was disappointed that he wasn't able to stop all of the goals from being made, it could have been worse. He could have missed them all. He was very satisfied with the performance he gave during the try-out and it would be up to Dean, Ginny, Parvati and Henry on whether he would make the team.
"Good game, all!" declared Dean, as he shook hands with the hufflepuff captain and told everyone to meet back down on the quidditch pitch.
"Now, I'll call each of you up for your individual evaluations and then we will deliberate and then after that we'll come to a decision."
"First let's have Leon."
Neville hung back until his name was called.
"Neville for stability you scored seven out of nine, for speed eight out of nine, for strategy an eight and a half out of nine and finally for sportsmanship a nine out of nine. Some of your visible strengths were speed along with quick reaction timing and being a fair team player. While you earned many triumphs on your own you never failed to include your fellow team mates in the process, which is a great quality that is hard to find in many players. Is there anything you'd like to say to us before we begin deliberating?"
"Er, no…t-thank you."
Neville and the other recruitees stepped back and waited patiently while the current team members discussed who would make up the remainder of their new team.
"Regardless of whether or not you make the team, we just want you to know that you were great," began Hermione. "And that you should be very proud of yourself."
"Thanks."
Neville was beginning to grow dizzy and light-headed. He fought the cloudiness that was beginning to conquer his mind and tried to focus on what Hermione and Harry were saying to him.
It seemed like an awful lot of time had gone by so Neville checked his pocket watch. Twenty minutes had gone by. He was beginning to worry, it shouldn't take that long to come to a decision should it?
"Neville, just remember no matter what you were brilliant." Hermione reassured him again.
He knew she was just trying to be supportive but if she told him how brilliant he was one more time he thought his head would explode. He wasn't used to being showered with so much praise and so many compliments as he had been receiving lately. It was uncomfortable for him and he had no idea how to properly react and because of this he would rather save himself the trouble and not receive any sort of positive reinforcement.
Neville went over all of his best played moments in his head and hoped that they had been good enough. He had no idea where all of his motivation to perform well had come from and whether it had simply been to impress Ginny or whether he was finally tired of just being known for his knack in Herbology.
Maybe he was tired of hiding and only being good at things secretly; maybe he was ready to step out of the background and make himself known, sharing his undiscovered talents with the rest of the world. Maybe he was tired of being forgotten and was ready to be remembered, for whatever reason.
Neville was again overtaken with dizziness and was forced to grab onto his broom for support so he wouldn't topple over.
"Neville, what's wrong?" asked Hermione.
"I'm just…exhausted," he replied. "That was quite a work out."
Hermione bit her lip and stared hard at him, immediately seeing through him.
"No, you're weak because you didn't eat any lunch. I told you, Neville…"
"No, I did eat…a little bit," he argued.
"Well, it wasn't enough, mate," added Harry. "Believe me, if you end up making the team you're going to need to eat all the time to keep up your strength in order to play. I can't even count how many times I almost fainted mid-flight due to not eating enough."
This was not what Neville had wanted to hear.
"Here, sit down," replied Hermione, grabbing hold of him and helping him sit.
"Thanks, I'm fine now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! I'm fine," he snapped.
"Alright, we've reached a decision." Dean called.
Neville stood up too quickly and as a result he was temporarily blinded and everything went white. He felt as if everything was spinning, even when his eyes were closed.
All five of them made their way over and stood in front of the current team, eagerly awaiting to hear who had been chosen.
"This was a very difficult decision as all of you gave great performances and would all be very substantial additions to this team and if we had more positions available we would welcome all of you to join but unfortunately we only have three available positions. So without further a due the newest members of the gryffindor quidditch team are…"
But Neville never got to hear those names because suddenly everything went black.
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Author's Note: Muhahahaw, I know! How evil of me to leave it as a cliffhanger! No, but in all seriousness I hope you are all enjoying this story and that you continue reading! I was debating on whether or not I should add this chapter up today as well, considering I just added chapter 8 but it's been awhile since I've updated and I already had these written so here we are! Coming up soon, chapter 10! (Which I have yet to write but will get started on) Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! Reviews motivate me to get chapters up faster! :)
