(Sunday morning)
"Where have you been, Costanza?" Jerry yelled as George walked through the door of Monk's Diner.
George threw up his hands in exasperation and glanced at his watch. "It's only 8:37!"
"We agreed on 8:30!" Jerry said, watching he watched his friend slide into the seat opposite him.
"So what? Now you're mad over a mere seven minutes? This from a guy who once tried to date two women on the same night? What's with you, anyway?" George asked.
"I like punctuality, okay?" Jerry yelled, startling George.
After a brief silence, he sighed.
"I'm sorry, okay? You're right. I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't sleep. What's your story?"
"It's Sunday morning." George said. "I had to tell my parents that I was getting up early to attend a church service. The reason I'm late is because as soon as I said the word church, my mother actually fainted and I couldn't find the smelling salts."
Jerry laughed hysterically, grateful for George's unintentional humor.
"I'm starving." George said, frantically looking around the restaurant for a waitress. "CAN WE GET SOME SERVICE OVER HERE?" He yelled.
"What is with you?" Jerry asked, burying his head in his hands. "Geez... and I thought I was cranky."
George sighed. "It's my mother. She's always on my case to find a job and move out of the house."
Jerry grinned. "Well, you know... most men in their 30's don't live with their parents. And, I must point out, they have jobs."
George shifted angrily in his seat. "You too? Man, I'm getting it from all sides now! IT NEVER ENDS!"
"Hey! Pipe down, will ya?" The waitress called from the counter. "I got customers here!"
"Coulda fooled me." George muttered, glaring in the direction of the waitress.
He turned to Jerry. "So what was so important that I had to be here at the crack of dawn? And it better be good!"
Proudly, Jerry leaned against the back of the vinyl seat. "Well, I did it."
George looked at him, puzzled. "Did what?"
"I met her, George. I talked to her." Jerry couldn't help but grin.
"Whoa, wait a minute." George said. "Met who?"
"Oh I don't believe this!" Jerry said. "You forgot already? The girl from the club? The one in the incredible dress?"
That certainly got George's attention. "Oh my God! Are you serious? That's incredible! How did you do it?"
Jerry smiled. "She came to the club and saw my set last night. I couldn't believe it."
"Wow..." was all that George could say. "So you really talked to her?"
Jerry leaned foreword in his seat, motioning for George to come closer. "Not only did I talk to her, but I saved her from getting thrown out by the bouncer."
He paused, waiting for George's reaction.
"Are you serious?" George said again. "You actually came to her rescue? You're like a regular John Wayne."
"John Wayne? Who did he ever rescue?" Jerry asked.
"Uh, you know... in that movie he, um, rescued that girl... it was a Western." George said.
"Forget about that, okay? Jerry said, surprised that he was so anxious to tell his friend about his heroic action.
Suddenly he felt like Superman.
"Okay, so now... Tell me everything." George said.
"Well, she was all alone in the club. The house lights had come up and most everyone had gone home. The bouncer started giving her a hard time about why she was there and I stepped in and pretended to be her boyfriend."
Jerry said the last word so faintly that George had to lean in further to hear.
"Her what?" George asked.
"It's a long story." Jerry admitted, surprised when George didn't prompt him to continue.
"So what now?" George asked.
"Well, I'm taking her to dinner tonight." Jerry said as a faraway look filled his eyes.
"You haven't slept at all, have you?" George asked.
Jerry groaned. His best friend knew him so well.
"I can't stop thinking about her." He confessed. "It nearly killed me last night when we said goodbye at her apartment."
"Her apartment?" George grinned slyly. "Why you son of a gun! No wonder you're tired!"
Jerry flinched, realizing what George meant. "You think I slept with her? I barely know her!"
George's eyes narrowed. "That never stopped you before."
Jerry couldn't argue with that. "Yeah, but this woman is different."
He could see that George was intrigued.
"All right. What do you want to know?" Jerry asked, reading George's expression like a book.
"Everything." George said, the excitement returning to his eyes. "What's her name? What's she like? How old is she?"
Jerry's eyes widened. "Wow, George... Do you want her Social Security number, too?"
"Sure if you have it." George said, unfazed by Jerry's sarcasm.
Jerry proceeded to tell George the story of meeting Elaine, amazed that he remembered every detail.
"Elaine huh?" George pondered.
"Elaine Benes." Jerry said the name proudly, as though he had made it up.
"So what time do you pick her up?" George asked.
"6:30." Jerry replied.
George looked at his watch. "Well Jer, that means you only have a little over eight hours to get ready."
Jerry glanced at his own watch. "Oh my God, you're right! I've got to go!" He sprang from his seat and pulled out his wallet, tossing some bills onto the table.
"Wait! What are you doing?" George asked.
"Paying the bill." Jerry replied.
"But we haven't ordered anything!" George yelled as he watched Jerry walk out of the diner.
