So this is the chapter you all have been waiting for.
I hope you like it.
Chapter 9: Cry, Baby, Cry
During the next few weeks nothing changed; Sam and Gabriel kept hunting together and there were no news about the Leviathans. Sam and Gabriel slowly built some kind of friendship; Gabriel became more funny and helpful than annoying to Sam's eyes and Gabriel also felt some attachment for the young hunter. Perhaps more than he should, because in the days between hunts that Sam stayed at home, Gabriel usually visited him during the night to assure Sam had a restful sleep.
During those nights Balthazar didn't sleep, always in alert to Gabriel. A lot of times he wanted to just go to Gabriel and kick him out of the house, but curiously in those nights he had Castiel sleeping peacefully with the head on his chest. So Balthazar never did anything, although it was really starting to piss him off.
Even though he didn't do anything, Gabriel could feel Balthazar's discomfort and anger toward him. It was always the same feeling, during all night, every night he was there.
One day, Gabriel, instead of leaving when the sun started to rise, he stayed and waited in the living room.
After a while Sam came downstairs. "Hey," he greeted Gabriel, surprised to see him.
"Hey, Sammy," Gabriel greeted him back, but not in warm way he used to do. He barely smiled.
"Did you find anything else about the Leviathans?" Sam tried to find the reason for Gabriel presence.
"No," he answered a bit coldly.
Sam found Gabriel's behaviour odd; he was usually cheerful, in every situation, even the ones he shouldn't be. Sam went to the kitchen and when he opened the fridge, he had an idea. "I made it yesterday. Do you want a slice?" Sam showed him a plate with half of a strawberry cheesecake.
"No. Thanks." Gabriel barely looked at it.
Now Sam was certain something was very wrong. He put the plate on the table and walked toward Gabriel, who was next to the couch.
"Gabe, are you okay?" He put a concerned hand on the archangel's shoulder.
Gabriel looked at him with such a serious face it almost scared him. "No. There's something I must solve."
As soon as Castiel woke up and got off of him, Balthazar immediately took the chance and disappeared to meet with Gabriel downstairs. "Balthazar..." Castiel still called to stop him, but Balthazar was already gone.
"What are you still doing here?!" Balthazar asked harshly when he appeared in front of Gabriel. Sam took a few steps back.
Gabriel smirked a little; Balthazar had just given him one more reason to stay. "Because of you." Balthazar made a confused expression. "Because of the aggressive way you keep treating me." Gabriel continued, walking around casually.
"It's the way you deserve," Balthazar said convicted.
Gabriel had been back for two months and every time he was near Balthazar he could feel the pure hatred and disgust his brother felt toward him, and Gabriel was tired of it. "I've been thinking about it, Balthazar, but I still don't understand. So tell me, why do you hate me so much? What did I do?!" Gabriel demanded, stopping in front of him.
Balthazar couldn't contain himself with the confrontation. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you abandoned us in the middle of a war!"
"This is no excuse, but I left you, Cas and Inias in the safest place I knew in Heaven. I made sure you were safe before I left," Gabriel told him.
"We were safe?" Balthazar repeated incredulous. "We were scared!" he shouted.
Castiel and Dean appeared on the bottom of the stairs, already dressed.
"We were in there for months! Alone. Hearing the war outside," Balthazar continued as Dean and Castiel came closer.
"I know it must have been tough for you..." he commented sympathetically.
"Yeah... and you know that. We prayed to you, every day! We begged for you to come back. It was impossible you didn't hear us!" he said angrily in despise, taking a step toward his brother.
"I heard you..." Gabriel confessed in a low and ashamed voice. "...at first. Then, the farthest I was from Heaven, the less I heard."
"You know, after some time... we thought you had died. Well, I thought," he corrected, because he remembered being full of doubts and questions at the time, but when he looked at Castiel and Inias, both so young and terrified, Balthazar wasn't able to share his negative thoughts with them. With Gabriel gone, he was the oldest, and he had to protect his little brothers.
Dean saw Castiel flinch. Castiel remembered it too.
"Only a couple of months after the war was over, when other angels found us, we knew you had just run away." Balthazar made a pause. "You ran, but we were the ones who paid for your leaving! Zachariah interrogated us, for days. Even after telling him a thousand times we didn't know where you were, he still didn't believe it."
Gabriel didn't know about that, he never thought about the consequences his leaving would cause, he just wished the best for his brothers. Apparently it didn't happen the way he wished. "I'm sorry for causing you such suffering."
"Sorry?! No, you're not." Balthazar refused to accept his brother's apology. "But when we're done, you will be. Because this was just a drop in a whole ocean of pain!" His suffering was seen in his face and the anger in his voice.
Castiel instantly ran to Balthazar, grabbing his arm. "Balthazar, don't," he begged in a whisper.
Balthazar kept his eyes locked on Gabriel. "After that, they split us up, and we grew up apart from each others, learning things from other angels. Only a few decades later Cas and I met again on a mission." Castiel calmed down a little for a moment, remembering the moment he saw Balthazar again. It was a happy memory, one of the best moments of his life, and Castiel loosed the grip on Balthazar's arm.
"After some years, we met Inias too, and after so many decades he still believed you'd come back," Balthazar continued. "And then, one day, Samandriel came to tell us Inias had gone looking for you." Gabriel looked surprised. "We went after him, to stop him. If the angels knew he was missing, it was half way for him to be considered a deserter and whoever found him would kill him for certain."
Gabriel nodded, slightly and sadly; he knew the procedure in those cases. He knew if the angels had found him, they would have tried to kill him.
"Fortunately we found him first. But other angels were already near, looking for him. Well, not exactly him; they only knew an angel was running but they didn't know who it was. So, as there was no time to explain, I took Inias out of there." There was a pause in anticipation of what he was going to say next. Castiel unconsciously gabbed Balthazar's arm tighter. "But they got Cassie."
Dean widened his eyes and held his breath in fear; he was sure what happen next was very bad. Sam also looked surprised and Gabriel had a sad and guilty expression.
Balthazar remembered, when he saw the other angels surrounding Castiel and dragging him away, he went after them to save Castiel. But it was too late. "I could say you could imagine what happened next... but you can't."
Castiel stepped violently in front of Balthazar. "No! Balthazar, please..." he asked, clutching his black jacket with a trembling hand.
But his eyes were focused on Gabriel, cold, full of anger and sorrow.
I'm sorry, Cassie. Balthazar felt like he had a knot in his throat, suffocation him, and he was going to explode if he didn't say everything.
Castiel let go of Balthazar, lowering his hand as his body started to shiver.
Balthazar walked around Castiel and closer to Gabriel. "They took Cas to Zachariah and he sent him to the punishment area. It was before they found a way to brainwash angels, so they stuck with the simple, pure and brutal torture," he explained mostly to Sam and Dean, because Gabriel knew about that.
Dean, listening sadly, saw Castiel with his head down and a painful look, trembling all over, close to cry. Dean came forward and hugged his angel, gently.
"Although Zachariah was still convinced Cas knew your location, there were no questions. Only the intense and unceasing carve of flaming blades!"
Castiel immediately broke down and cried on Dean's shoulder, clutching on his shirt. Dean felt an intense pain in his chest; it was all too familiar to him. He caressed Castiel's hair as he looked at Gabriel, with an expression of shock, just like Sam.
"I tried to get in there and get him out, but there were guards everywhere. So I just stood outside... hearing everything... every slash, every rip... every scream, every cry..." Gabriel could see the tears forming in Balthazar's eyes. "for 66 days."
Balthazar's broken voice and the sobbing sounds of Castiel in his ears were the enough for Dean to shed a sorrowful tear.
"But... that was forbidden." Gabriel spoke confused in a low voice. "The limit was 40 days."
"Yes. But there was no one to stop it. I even asked Father... but He didn't interfere."
"Who was the torturer?" Gabriel asked because usually orders in Heaven were strict, few dared to go against them.
"Take a guess." Balthazar's face was of pure disgust.
Suddenly Gabriel knew. "Raphael."
The familiar name caught Dean's attention, and he couldn't believe that archangel bastard was worst than he thought. Instinctively Dean held Castiel tighter, who continued to shed hot tears on his neck between violent and irregular breathes.
Balthazar's expression, of hate and sorrow, was the confirmation. "I guess that was when he learned to be creative."
No one ever lasted so long in Raphael hands... Gabriel thought.
"And, in the end... Raphael just threw him out, barely alive... with featherless wings, broken and ripped, with almost no place in his body left untouched by the sharp blade and hellish fire." Tears rolled down Balthazar's face. "Left to die." Balthazar saw that heartbreaking image in his head.
After a few seconds to calm down, Balthazar continued. "So I did the only thing I could do; I shared my grace with him." Beside the look of horror on Gabriel's face there was also confusion. "Yes, it was unlikely to work and it could get us both killed... But fortunately, somehow it worked... after hours of melding and months of recovery."
"And when I thought the pain was over, Inias found out about everything that happened to Cas. He came apologizing, washed up in tears and guilt, because it was supposed to happen to him. But it wasn't his fault and we didn't blame him. I blame you." He looked into Gabriel's eyes, also tearful. "You hurt the three of us. And I'll never forget it. So there's nothing you can say or do to make me forgive you!" He finished loudly.
Balthazar kept staring with a hateful face to Gabriel, until the powerful archangel, now looking vulnerable, disappeared of the room. He let out a tired gasp, tired for holding up his emotions and not being like Castiel. And then he also left.
Sam, who was still open-mouthed in shock, looked at Dean trying to console Castiel, rubbing a hand up and down the angels back.
