Chapter Nine
It was sort of strange.
The next couple of days were completely weird and not like any other days Alice had ever experienced because she'd never been in a situation like this before. She'd been in a many situations – even many horrible, awkward, weird situations – but still never one quiet like this. And she had to admit. This one took the cake.
Which was sort of strange too, since she didn't even eat cake.
Alice paused and bit her lip in thought. How come she'd ended up like this? How come she was so uncertain about what to do about it? It had happened before. She'd see a vision and be unsure what to do with it. She'd often consulted Carlisle, and though she knew she could tell him anything, she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to share this particular problem with him. And – no matter which visions she'd get, if she was in them herself, she'd normally take action immediately and go out there and do it the way she wanted it to be done; she had the power to change the future when she saw these things, but right now... right this moment... she'd have rather not.
She had never viewed her visions as a curse before. Never. She'd always thought that it was the most amazing gift a vampire could receive, something very outstanding, something that gave the possessor enormous power. And she'd always enjoyed that power, done with it what she thought was best. But for some reason... the answer to this particular vision – that wasn't so easy.
Why am I having these many troubles? Alice asked herself as she lay there, staring at her ceiling, Why can't I just forget about it, make sure it doesn't happen? It's Bella for fucks sake! Bella Cullen! Edward's wife! Why am I even thinking about this, she's my best friend!? I shouldn't be thinking these things, it should be pretty obvious what I was going to do.
Alice rolled over on her bed and groaned into her mattress. Sure, it should be pretty obvious, but for some apparent reason, it wasn't. So that was why she was now asking herself – did she like Bella? Did she view her as more than that best friend?
And the lithe vampire had to admit. Yes, it was a possibility that she did. She'd always found Bella extremely beautiful, always thought that she was the most amazing person she'd ever met, except for Jasper. Jasper had always been the most important, most fantastic person – but...
Jasper isn't here anymore.
Turning back around to stare at the ceiling again, that was the argument that rotated around inside Alice's head over and over. Jasper was gone. He'd been gone for a while. And what could she do about it? Nothing, nothing. She'd mourned enough as it was, wasted so many days regretting it, hating herself for sending him into the arms of the Volturi. But he wasn't there anymore, and it was too late to reverse that.
Had she expected to live the rest of her existence by herself? No, certainly not. But she hadn't expected falling for her best friend either. That thought was just – just so out there, so strange. It was hard for her to get her head around it, but she had to admit that... that it was rather intriguing to think about loving Bella that way.
What wouldn't it be like to run her fingers through those brown locks she'd always admired? What wouldn't it do to her if she could comb through it, dig her nose into it and breathe in the comforting and familiar scent of someone so dear? How wouldn't it feel, how wouldn't she feel?
Alice was certain. If she was going to love anyone again, if she was going to have closure with Jasper and find someone new, then Bella was the perfect answer. She was right there, she was the person Alice trusted more than anything, and... and Alice had a feeling that it would be good. They'd be good together.
Sitting up straight to lean her back against the wall, the vampire closed her eyes to think some more. If she'd now come to the conclusion that she should do something about it, then was the next big question, what exactly should she do? Who knew... maybe that vision she had of Bella proposing to her was way in the future? No one could tell. Sure, they were living here, but this would always be their home, and they'd be back again some day. And they'd always look the same. Maybe if she did something about it, that vision wouldn't happen? Maybe it was supposed to happen on its own, maybe Bella was supposed to make the first move. But how would she know, how would she do what was right?
It was so hard to do the right thing when she didn't know what it was. There was only one thing she could see that'd help her with this, and that was an option she'd already debated with her inner self. She could always talk to Carlisle about these things, she had always had been able to. But since Carlisle wasn't the more obvious person to talk to about this particular vision, then there was someone, someone so full of love and adoration, someone who had a heart bigger than anyone else Alice knew, someone she could actually talk to, who'd always listen.
The question was just... how did she go about asking Esme all these things?
-
"Wow, it's been so long since I've been to one of these places." Alice breathlessly whispered as she pushed the car door open and stepped outside, quickly hiding beneath Renesmee's umbrella.
The younger one giggled, "And that's really weird, considering how much you used to love it."
Rosalie locked her car and stepped under Bella's umbrella, "I would say it's about time, but I'm keeping my mouth shut over here."
Alice reached a hand out and smacked her lightly in the side. "Shut up, Rose!"
"Shouldn't we rather go inside?" Bella quickly questioned, before Rosalie even had time to think of a come-back.
Renesmee seemed to agree with her mother, for she got a good hold of Alice's arm and dragged her off with a mumbled, "Yeah."
They crossed the huge parking lot outside the Port Angeles mall and when they got inside, they quickly shook off their umbrellas and enjoyed the fact that they could now walk without them. While the other three contemplated what to do about the umbrellas since none of them wanted to carry them around, Alice stood in awe and took in the entire atmosphere – a feeling she hadn't savoured for so long.
When Rosalie had declared this morning that she wanted to go shopping today, Alice hadn't known if she was quite ready for it. But Esme had seemed to think that it was a good idea; Carlisle and Emmett were going hunting and Jacob was going home to be with his family in the reservation, so Esme had said that if they all left, she was going to clean the entire house.
Taking that into consideration, while having to look at Rosalie's scolding glare, Renesmee's begging eyes, and not forget to mention Bella's "I want you to go, you have to help me find new clothes.", Alice simply hadn't been able to say no. So there she was; standing inside the mall, and she'd never felt the need to power-shop more.
Just then Renesmee stepped up behind her and linked their arms, "Are you ready? We all want new dresses, the school dance is coming up soon."
Alice nodded, "What did you do with the umbrellas?"
Renesmee shrugged her shoulders, "Rose threw 'em out, said we could just buy some new ones."
Alice nodded and Bella grabbed her other arm, "You know you're going to have to help me pick out that dress of mine, right? I'm still hopeless at fashion."
Alice looked up at her, and couldn't keep that smile off of her face when their eyes locked, "I'd love to help you out, Bella!" she happily cheered, and decided to forget the fact that every time she looked at Bella these days, her entire body would suddenly be filled with something different and unusual.
Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Fine, 'nough with the chit-chat, I'm gonna go get me some dresses!"
The other three agreed, and they set off down the mall, walking in between throngs of people who was there to do what they were doing as well. Alice couldn't believe she'd forgotten how nice it felt to walk among so many amazing clothes, what it was like to run her card through the machine and declare that she was going to take it all.
And it was even better this time, because it was her and her three best friends, for Bella was there too, which wasn't too often. She could tell that Rosalie was happy that she was there as well; that they were finally doing this, even if she didn't say it aloud. Rosalie never said these things aloud, so Alice had gotten quite good at catching on through her facial expressions.
They looked at their regular every-day clothes first which took a lot of time, but Bella was most anxious to find a new dress, Alice could tell. So after that, she thought that that was the best way to go, and the four of them headed in the direction of Rosalie's favourite dress shop in the mall.
Now, Alice hadn't been there before, but Rosalie and Renesmee had gone shopping a few times since they came back to Forks, so they'd talked wonders about the place. Alice hadn't been totally sure, but when she stepped inside, she had to agree with them. It was such a huge shop, and there was dresses everywhere. Long dresses, short dresses, fancy dresses, less fancier dresses, they were in every colour of the rainbow and more, and Alice thought that she was in wonderland.
She released her hold on Renesmee and ran to the closest one she could find. She started to search through everything to find one in her size, but stopped when she heard someone laugh behind her. She turned around with a suspicious look in her eyes, only to see Bella giggling to herself.
"What?" Alice mumbled.
Bella shot her a sneaky grin, "Nothing, it's nothing..." she giggled again, "It's just... it's nice to see that you haven't changed at all, that you're back to being Alice."
She turned back around again and decided not to comment on it. She wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or not, but Bella was smiling, so she took it as one.
It didn't take more than thirty minutes before they were huddled in the sofas outside the changing rooms, getting ready to try on the gazillion dresses they had all picked out. They were hanging from every possible place and the shop workers were tripping around them, half worried if something might happen to one of them, half happy that they knew that they were going to sell at least four dresses in the next hour or so.
Rosalie was trying on her dresses first, but Alice dared not to give her opinion, because she knew that her feisty sister was going to go with the one she liked best anyway. No use picking another one, then. Renesmee was still looking around a little bit, trying to see if she'd forgotten anything, and Alice and Bella were squeezed together on one couch, their shoulders brushing mercilessly.
"I'm really glad that you decided to come today." Bella told her, turning her head slightly to the side, so she'd lock their eyes, and once more, Alice got that feeling in her body. "It's nice to see how everything is almost back to the way that it was before, that we can actually make it work and be happy."
Alice had been thinking a lot about exactly that herself, and she had to agree with Bella. She wasn't sure if Bella had done this with Edward, but Alice knew that she'd had closure with Jasper; after looking at the pictures he'd taken and sorting through his things, she finally felt like it was over between them, that he could be in the past peacefully, and just look after her when something went wrong. She knew he wanted her to be happy and not live like she'd done since his departure. That was why she didn't feel guilty smiling today, why she could sit here and choose dresses to a school dance that she actually wanted to go to.
"I really want to go to the lingerie shop as well." Alice informed Bella just as Rosalie growled form the changing room, probably not happy with her dress, "I need new underwear."
"Why do you need new underwear?" Bella teased her as she wriggled her eyebrows.
Alice couldn't exactly say that she was just making sure to be presentable if something were to happen, so she just nudged Bella in the side and played along, "You never kno-ow!" she sang.
Just then, Rosalie opened the door to the dressing room and stepped outside, "This is it!" she exclaimed and twirled around in her fabulous black dress; it clung to her every curve beautifully and it complimented her every feature. Truly the right choice, Alice was sure of that.
"Alright!" she exclaimed and pushed Bella out of the couch, "Now your turn, Isabella, we wanna see you model those dresses!"
"I already have two in mind, so I think I'm going to go with one of those." Bella told her, before she stepped inside another dressing room, and Rosalie did the same to change out of hers.
Alice sighed heavily and leaned back in the couch, just as Renesmee took a seat next to her. She sighed as well and placed her head on her aunt's shoulder, "Ya tired?" she whispered.
Alice reached over and carefully took her hand into her own, "Nah... it's just weird to be back here. It's nice, don't get me wrong, but it's still a lot to take in."
Renesmee didn't need to say anything; Alice knew that she knew what she was talking about, just by the way that she looked at her. They both turned their heads when Rosalie reappeared with her dress carefully thrown across her arm. She brushed her hair back and offered them both a huge smile, "This is a killer dress. Em's gonna love me in it. Not that he doesn't love me in everything... or nothing for that matter, but yeah, you get the picture."
"Certainly do Rose!" Renesmee mockingly reassured her while Alice nodded her head; there was not a doubt in their minds. Emmett loved Rosalie with everything he had, there was no questioning that. He'd do anything for her, and if she wore sweats he'd love her, if she wore a dress, he'd love her. And also if she wore – as she put it herself – nothing. He'd definitely love her.
Rosalie winked at them and took a seat too, just as Bella's voice was heard through the fragile wood of the door to her dressing room, "OK guys," she announced, "this is one of the two I liked. I think this is good."
"Then come on out so we can see you, Mom!" Renesmee laughed, and Alice giggled with her.
Bella whined at them. "Stop mocking me, I'm coming out!" she said, and pushed the door open, and it took a second for Alice to realize that it was actually Bella standing there, because she looked so different; usually she would wear jeans and a plain shirt or t-shirt, it did happen on occasion that Alice would see her in something different. It hadn't happened lately because none of them had felt like dressing up. But the shock was evident, and right that second, she knew why she'd had the vision she'd had.
She was attracted to Bella.
And as realization hit her right in the face, Alice knew that that vision was going to come true, it didn't matter when, or if it would be exactly like she'd seen it, because it was going to happen, even if it changed a little bit. Her and Bella were going to get together, and when that happened, she was going to wait for Bella to be ready to pop the question. The only thing that still was a problem was if whether or not she should do something about it herself, or wait to see if it would happen on its own.
Alice zonked right back into her own world when Bella cleared her throat, "Alice?" she questioned, and did a funny little twirl, "What do you think? Rose thinks I should just go ahead and take this one."
"But I think she should try the other one on as well." Renesmee added and tried to charm her way in with her smile.
Alice stared at them for a second or two without really knowing what to say to that, until she decided that she better answer, "The other one too! Try the other one too!" she quickly said and pushed Bella into the dressing room again. "If you try the other one on too, you're gonna know for sure if this is the dress."
Renesmee snapped her fingers, "Good thinkin' aunt Alice!" and Rosalie scolded and took a seat, "Fine, be that way!" she mumbled and crossed her legs.
Bella closed the door to her dressing room again, "Yeah, it's better to be sure than to regret it." she mumbled in her usual common sense sort of way. There was a beat, and then she whined, "Arh, stupid dress! The zipper is stuck, I need help!"
Renesmee and Alice looked at each other, and usually Alice would be quick to bounce in there and get that zipper down, but for some reason, she really didn't feel like seeing Bella without that dress on... not with uh, recent developments. Per say.
"Not me!" Renesmee quickly called it, and Rosalie was not one to help someone with something like that, so Alice took in a deep breath and stepped inside; there was no way she was going to say no to Bella. Firstly because she simply didn't want to, and secondly because she didn't want Bella to know that something was different between them.
Bella smiled at her in the mirror when she entered, "Alice, thank God, can you get the zipper down?"
Alice nodded at her through the mirror and tip-toed up to get the zipper. She was a bit hesitant when she placed a hand on Bella's bare shoulder to support herself, and the contact immediately lit something inside her, like she feared it would; she was certain now. She really was attracted to Bella, and it was meant to be the two of them.
"...Alice?"
She snapped out of it once more when Bella urged her on, and quickly tried to pull the zipper down. She saw, though, why Bella hadn't been able to unzip the dress herself because it had caught onto the material of the dress. "Oh, this is really stuck." she mumbled and fidgeted a little more with it, before she was able to pull it down. "...there you go."
Bella shot her the smile she'd always loved so much and immediately pulled the dress down again and let it fall to her feet. Alice felt her eyes go wide when suddenly Bella was standing in front of her in only her red lace underwear, and quickly turned her head away. Only a second after she had done that, she realized how that would look to Bella, and therefore covered her actions by pretending to dust off her clothes. When she looked up again, Bella was still looking at her through the full-length mirror.
"I think you're right." she said, "New underwear is a good idea."
Alice looked up at her again, and couldn't help but let her eyes linger at the valley between Bella's breasts for a second too long. She simply couldn't handle it, not after the vision she had had and the conclusion she'd taken based upon that vision.
"I'll go try my dresses on too." Alice whispered, before she stepped outside and let the door fall close behind her.
-
No matter where she went and what she did the next few days, Alice seemed to run into Bella. And every time she did so, she'd always notice things about her. Things she already knew and acknowledged, but hadn't really thought much about. She'd always known that Bella was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful girl she'd ever met, she'd always thought that about her, but she'd never viewed her the way she did now. She thought that everything about her was sexy, and she felt herself wanting her more than she would have imagined. It had never been this way with Jasper, and it was an entirely new feeling, and it made her feel awkward, also because it happened when everyone was present and it was getting sort of difficult to hide it.
All these things that were happening...
Bella smiling more secretly at her, Renesmee winking knowingly at her... the feelings inside her chest, the stares, the caresses, the pauses when they met on top of the staircase and had to pass each other. People were seeing, people were noticing, and Alice was sure that someone was going to make a comment soon.
And so she had come to the conclusion that it was probably best to do something about it. She wasn't sure how she was going to do it yet – if she was going to talk to Bella about it or simply waltz on up there and kiss her. None of those options seemed rather appealing to Alice, so she went back to the idea she'd gotten a few days ago.
Esme was the answer. Esme she could talk to – about anything and everything, and even nothing. She was sure she wouldn't even have to explain it too much, because their mother would probably have noticed a change in them. So it was just to go down in the kitchen once she was alone, and just... talk.
She had always been able to help her in the past, so Alice saw no reason why that shouldn't apply now. And actually – now was the exact word, because Carlisle was working in his office and the rest of her dear family had gone either home or out hunting. They'd have plenty of time, and Alice smiled to herself when she danced down the stairs and realized that things always worked out perfectly for her in the end.
With a grace that'd make any ballerina jealous, Alice stopped in front of Esme, who was sitting on one of their barstools, reading the local newspaper. Not that anything interesting had happened in Forks and nearby, but it was always nice to be sure, as she liked to put it.
The beautiful vampire looked up when she saw one of her kids come to a halt right there. She had a familiar smile on her face, and pushed an auburn piece of hair behind her ear, before she closed the paper and sat up straight. "Alice?" she questioned, her voice carrying itself throughout their marble kitchen.
Alice smiled at her and easily jumped onto the counter, even though it was almost taller than her. "I was wondering if I could talk to you." she stated. And she could tell that Esme had been expecting this, because she had that twinkle in her eye; that caring, loving twinkle, that showed she'd always help, and always be there.
"You can always talk to me." Esme replied.
Alice had thought a lot about whether or not she was going to tell Esme about these thoughts of hers, but she'd never actually thought about how to tell her... if she did decide to do so. And now there she was – all ready to talk, but how would she begin?
"Uh..."
Esme immediately bobbled with laughter. "You don't need to say anything." she reassured her with her head tilted slightly to the side as she watched her, "I've noticed some things, and I think I know what you're going to say."
Alice didn't reply; she wasn't sure if she was supposed to, if Esme expected an answer or not.
"It's about Bella, isn't it?"
A dust of wind swept through the open window and blew her fringe back, and Alice stared outside, half expecting Bella to stand there, listening in. It was a cold day, but the rain wasn't falling in heavy drops like usually; it was only making thrumming sounds on their windows and the roof, and it was comforting, as the two vampires sat there, ready to share something special.
Alice sighed heavily and locked her eyes firmly to Esme's. How come she'd ever thought Esme wouldn't know? She noticed these things. She was the essence of love and romance, and she wouldn't have known? Alice should have realized that, and maybe she could have had this conversation a while ago. "Yeah." she confirmed with a short head poke, "It's Bella."
Alice didn't really know what she had expected Esme's reaction to be like because it had never really crossed her mind, but she knew for sure that she hadn't expected what she got. Esme's face lit up and out came the funniest squeal Alice had ever heard escape her lips. Esme wasn't really a squealer so that in itself was huge, but this particular sort of squeal made it even bigger. Esme wrapped her arms around Alice's thin waist and hugged her tight.
"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" she sang and buried her nose in Alice's sweater.
Alice patted her lamely on the back, not knowing what to reply to that either, so when Esme finally pulled away, she just stared at her mother, hoping she'd say something.
Esme smiled warmly at her and started talking, "I know this is going to sound so strange," she softly begun, "but I've seen something between you two since day one. I know you weren't aware of it. You had Jasper, and Bella was totally devoted to Edward, but after what happened to them... it was only a matter of time before one of you were going to realize it, I could feel it."
Alice was only quiet as Esme was telling her this.
"First I was a little hesitant about it because of Edward and Jasper, but then I realized... they'd want this too. Out of anyone on this entire planet, I know Edward would have wanted you to be with Bella; he'd trust you to take good care of her.... And I know – I know – that Jasper understood Bella too, that he could see why you'd fall for her this second time around, because they're more alike than one really thinks."
Alice smiled at her. Happy that she wasn't the only one who could see the resemblance between Bella and Jasper. They were both quiet and thoughtful, and those were two things Alice treasured a lot in a partner, and a friend – anyone in general.
Esme reached a hand out and gently cupped Alice's chin, still that motherly smile on her face, "So what makes you come to me now? Did you see something or did something happen between the two of you?"
Alice blinked at her as the wind picked up outside, "I – I had a... vision." she begun, softly, because she knew they had the time, "Actually... I wasn't really sure what to do, because, because I thought that maybe, possibly – I could be into girls, because of... Helena."
Esme nodded softly and let her hand drop to the counter.
"But I realized that I wasn't really into Helena, but that I liked the idea of another woman."
Esme nodded again, "I can understand that. It's probably easier for you... after Jasper."
Alice nodded too. "So I just bounced the idea around with myself, and suddenly one day, I just zonked right out of a vision where I saw Bella asking me to marry her."
Esme's eyes went wide, but then she started chuckling. "Must've shocked you, I presume."
Alice shrugged her shoulders. There was no use not telling Esme what that vision had made her feel. She knew she could talk to her about anything, and it would probably make her feel better to get it out. Plus, it was nice and comfortable to sit in the kitchen with her and talk about important things, while the wind was whining outside as the raindrops fell to the ground in softer and softer cascades. "I wasn't really that shocked to be honest... the immediate feeling was rather... intriguing."
"Well that sounds good to me Alice, it seems like you might just have to wait and see what happens, just... let it happen in its own pace."
Alice swallowed loudly. "However, there's just one thing I'm not sure of..."
Esme reached for her hand again and squeezed it tight. "What is it, Alice? You can talk to me."
"It's just – me and Bella?" she raised an eyebrow in question. "What won't people say, what won't people think? Even the ones who doesn't know that we were sisters-in-law, they're still going to question us because we're both female."
"Hey," Esme said to her, voice spot on and soft as she gave her fingers another squeeze, "listen to me. This is something I taught Edward a very long time ago, right when he was falling in love with Bella. You were right there next to us, on the piano bench, and he was working on his music, and I told him in my thoughts "love doesn't always come in convenient packages" and the same goes for you now Alice – it's not gonna be the easiest way for the two of you, but perhaps it's the right one."
And with those words, Esme pushed her chair back and left the kitchen – and Alice – in complete silence. Outside, the sun was slowly breaking through the rainy clouds for the first time in days, leaving the grass misty with dew, as four vampires jumped across the river and landed on the other side.
I know this update must be disappointedly short after the unbelievably long wait I've pestered you with, and I'm so sorry. And like those many waits before, I have a good excuse (though this one, I believe, must take the cake :b); my mother got hospitalized again last week, and I've had to battle extremely horrible school hours with grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, homework, and helping my sister with her things too, so I really, like seriously, haven't had time to write. I probably won't have time again too soon, but I'll do my best to try – you guys deserve quick updates.
So anyway. Part from all my lame excuses, did you guys like the chapter? I'm getting closer to the romance, that's for sure, only the few last insecurities to be sorted out. I'll probably get there in a few chapters or so.
Thank you so much for the nice reviews, you don't know what the support means to me :)
Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight.
