Disclaimer, I don't own anything blah blah blah

Authors note i they don't have much to say except that my sister getting married and I have to wear the ugly bridesmaid dress in existence. So if you want to make me feel better you will be kind and review the dang story

Chapter Nine

Sirius Realizations

By Empathicallychosen

"You might have loved me, if you had known me. If you had ever known my mind. If you would have walked through my dreams and memories. Who knows what treasures you might have found. Yes, you might have loved me. If you had only taken the time." -- Anonymous

(o)(o)(o)

Harry had been at Hogwarts for less than 24 hours and Sirius was already on cloud nine. He really hadn't minded when they had been told that he was going to stay in school with them. Sirius was after all, self-proclaimed as "too cool to care." He had no idea that these children would be such a gold mine of opportunity. Harry, Ron and Hermione had arrived at Hogwarts on Sunday evening. Monday James, Remus, Lily and Sirius were exempt from classes so that they could show the little ones around.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were very excited to learn there were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts: wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety ones; some that led somewhere different on a Friday; some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump. Then there were doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely, or tickled them in exactly the right place, and doors that weren't really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending. It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot. The people in the portraits kept going to visit each other, and Harry was utterly amazed the coats of armor could walk.

That evening Professor McGonagall had summoned them to her office and informed them that due to the unusual challenges three young children would bring they were allowed to be late to their classes, leave classes early and leave in the middle of class should the need arise and if any of the teachers objected they would be getting an earful from not only Professor McGonagall but from Dumbledore as well.

But perhaps the biggest compensation of all was the effects all three children, but especially Harry, seemed to have on the girls. Every time Harry, Ron and Hermione walked by the little ones seemed to have all the girls going positively wild over them. The thing that might have ruined it all for Sirius, if he were just a little bit more mature, was that Harry was not accustomed to this much attention and did not seem to have acquired much of a taste for it. Every time the crowd of girls would get too large he would run away as fast as he possibly could. Unfortunately for Remus and Sirius, Harry seemed to have acquired his father's stamina. Which meant they would have to go running after him to the point of collapse far too many times in one day.

"... But Prongs I don't like all of these girls around. They're always acting funny," Harry mumbled as James reprimanded him for running off again when they were walking to the Great Hall.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "Besides they all smell funny."

"No funnier then you do," Peter wheezed.

"Cool it Pete," said James with a definite steely edge to his voice.

Peter shivered under James's glare.

"What I think Peter means is . . . well I'm not sure what Peter means exactly," said James pulling Pig away from Ron's mouth.

"Look kid, just don't go running off again got it," Sirius told Harry before turning to Ron, "and you, hold your breath."

"Did you hear that girls," Victoria asked as she, Lily, Olivia and Hermione came up from behind them. "Words of wisdom from a Neanderthal."

"Hermione," chorused Ron and Harry together.

Immediately, Hermione rushed up and gave both boys an enormous hug. She had gotten used to not having the boys with her every minute of the day rather quickly. However even Sirius, who could be completely inept when it came to sensitivity, had noticed that the less time Hermione was spending with Harry and Ron the more she missed her mother.

On the other hand, having three girls in the dormitory with her seemed to rid Hermione from her anguish at times. Hermione loved having so many new playmates to do just girl things with. Olivia was even helping Hermione experiment with different looks. Today they had straightened out her hair and put her in a pair of blue jeans, a red top with a kitten printed on the front and removable highlights to match.

While Hermione showed the boys the new collar Victoria's mother had gotten Crookshanks in Hogsmeade, Lily told James about how terrible Hermione's homesickness had really become. Sirius watched the little girl carefully. He wasn't sure whether to pity her because of this situation or to be amazed at how well she had hidden the truth about who she was, even in a time when she was grieving.

"Lily, I picked these flowers for you last night," said Harry proudly holding up a handful of crumpled dandelions.

"I don't think they feel so good Harry," said James mildly.

Harry took one look at the dead weeds in his hand and his eyes began to water.

"On no, no don't cry. It's okay mate, we can go pick some more flowers for Lily later," James said quickly.

"Nonsense, dandelions are my favorites Harry thank you," said Lily accepting the weeds from the boy and placing them in her pocket.

Harry perked up at once and followed Remus through the Great Hall doors.

"Thanks Lily. He really things a lot of you, you know," said James as he followed closely behind Harry to make sure he wasn't about to turn around and run.

"Well I like Harry too. There's just something about him you know," she said smiling a little as she watched Harry skip over to the Gryffindor table.

"Tell me about it," James replied. "He really makes it hard not to love him."

"There's just something, I don't know, incredibly pure about Harry. All three of them really," Lily agreed.

Everyone, teachers and students, alike stared at Harry, Ron and Hermione when they entered. It was the first time the children had come to eat in the Great Hall since the feast. Lily, James and the others had been advised that it might be better for them to eat in one of the classrooms until the young visitors had become more accustomed to their new home. One of the advantages of keeping Harry, Ron and Hermione out of the Great Hall was that they didn't have to deal with people like Severus Snape who Harry had a great fear of despite James's reassurance that the greasy coward didn't have enough of a spine to do anything to Harry as long as he was with James.

It was extremely unfortunate therefore that the first person Harry encountered in the Great Hall that morning was in fact James's rival who was nothing short of elated that Gryffindor's prized Quidditch star was reduced to chaperoning three little scrawny looking children. James heard Lily groan as Snape strode towards them with a gleam in his eye and a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here," asked Snape sneering down at Harry, Ron and Hermione in disgust.

James could feel Harry shake beside him and felt an instant gratitude for Lily when she threw an arm around him and told Harry to ignore Severus and just continue on with the rest of his meal.

"It's called breakfast Snape, and we're trying to enjoy it, so why don't you just slither back to your own table and leave us alone," said James coldly trying to control his temper as much for Harry's sake as Lily's.

"Is that the best you can do Potter? What's the matter? Are you afraid your mutt of a girlfriend won't play house with you anymore if you step out of line," said Snape laughing positively beside himself with mirth.

Sirius, James, Olivia, Victoria and Remus all stood up but the first one to react was Ron. He was so angry that his little fists were bald up and an intense heat began to fill the room.

"Lily is not a doggie you better say you're sorry or you'll be in big trouble," he said angrily.

"Oh yeah," Snape scoffed. "What are you going to do about it you little runt?"

"You're joking right? You haven't forgotten his water juggling show have you? You can't seriously be thick enough to provoke a child with elemental abilities," said a partially amused Remus while Lily tried to calm their redheaded charge.

Snape didn't have time to respond before Professor McGonagall charged over to the table before something bad could happen.

"What in the name of Merlin's beard his going on here," she huffed.

"That boy called my Lily a mean name Minnie, now he won't say sorry," said Harry indignantly standing up in his seat.

"Ten points from Slytherin Mr. Snape. Now I suggest you head back to your table before I decide to give you detention."

The rest of the meal went rather well until the mail arrived. They had never seen so much as one real live owl let alone hundreds of them. Accalia and Aidan stopped getting the mail for a while. They wanted to keep the magical surprises to a minimum until Harry was ready for them. It was a good thing too because they didn't seem to like the genuine owls as much as their soft plush toys.

Apparently the real owls were far too loud, had too many sharp body parts and quite frankly all three friends agreed that the way these birds kept losing feathers all over the place was disgusting. What really made these owls so fearsome was the way they had swarmed in like they were going to attack. Clearly the only safe place, according to Harry, was underneath the Gryffindor table and not even Lily could coax them out from their hiding spot until each and every one of the owls had gone.

Ron was the first to poke his head up and then Hermione and when Harry had taken up his place in between Lily and James they ate the sausage, toast, eggs and kippers in complete silence. It was almost like the incident never even happened. Although Sirius had caught Hermione glancing apprehensively at the ceiling once or twice as though she expected the vicious owls to come back and make a nest in her hair.

Harry, Ron and Hermione left the great hall with Lily, Victoria and Olivia while the Marauders waited for Peter to finish eating. When they reached the doors a very tall and unnaturally made up brown haired girl pushed past them almost knocking Ron to the ground. She was standing a few feet outside of the Great Hall talking to a very scary looking blond girl.

"Why didn't that old coot pick me to help James with those little monsters," the brunette girl asked the blond one furiously.

"Oh I don't know Isabella, perhaps it's because even that old coot knows that people who refer to children they don't know as little monsters wouldn't be very good with children in general," said Lily fiercely.

Harry could tell that she was very angry.

"No one asked you Mudblood, so why don't you just stay out of it," snapped Isabella's friend.

"You know Lils, I think the real reason Dumbledore didn't ask Isabella is because when kids see her coming they run the other way," said Victoria loudly as they hurried the children past the snobbish girls so that they didn't have another conflict like the one they had at breakfast.

-- -- -- -- -

Harry, Ron and Hermione's first ever class was Charms. They made their way down to the corridor with an extraordinary amount of energy. James had been worried when they left the Great Hall that the excitement that morning was going to tire at least one of the small children out. He supposed looking back that he should have known better. After all, more then once in his youth James recalled his father telling his mother that vitality was wasted on the young.

"Crookshanks is very excited about going to class today," Hermione told her companions.

"Yeah, well I bet me and Pig are way more excited than Crookshanks," said Ron.

"Nah-uh."

"Yeah-uh."

"Would you two just shut up already! Neither one of your stupid animals cares where we're going because they aren't real," snapped Wormtail viciously.

"PETER," shrieked Lily outraged as Ron, Hermione and Harry all burst into tears.

"Don't you pay any attention to Peter, you guys. He's just cranky because James doesn't have time to baby him anymore," said Olivia shooting the pudgy blond boy an icy glare.

"OLIVIA," said Victoria.

"They are too real," sobbed Harry as James bent down and picked Harry up. "They are!"

"I know that, Harry. Shhh. I know," said James soothingly as Harry cried into his collar.

"You know what," said Remus loudly so that Ron and Hermione could hear him through their tears.

"What," sobbed Ron miserably.

"Peter didn't mean it. I don't think he is feeling all that well today," said Remus warmly.

"Well he was not very nice," pouted Hermione.

Desperate to change the subject James told them how wonderful Lily was at charms, second only to her marks in potions. It didn't surprise Harry that Lily was talented. She was so nice and pretty, smart, creative and she was always thinking up new games for them to play. She was nothing like Auntie Petunia, at all. When they finally made it to Charms Harry, Ron and Hermione decided that it was the coldest, darkest and second smelliest room they had seen thus far.

"Sorry we're late Professor but we had a little bit of an emergency," said Lily glaring furiously at Peter.

"Not to worry Miss Evans, it's quite understandable," said a tiny man standing on a pile of books.

Harry liked Professor Flitwick. Sirius assumed that this was because he was one of the few people who were as short as he was. As they took their seats Harry asked James curiously why he wasn't allowed to stand on books.

After charms they headed for Transfiguration, which was followed by a much-needed free period. During the free time Sirius took the kids on a walk hoping to meet up with some good-looking girls. Much to Sirius's delight they found Louise Martinez and Daisy McGrath sitting outside the library deeply engrossed in their copies of Advanced Herbology. Studying about plants along the Greek Isles.

Unfortunately for Harry, Ron and Hermione, a gaggle of frazzled looking fifth-year students were leaving the library just as Sirius became more interested in his conversations with Daisy and Louise then with what Harry and his friends were doing and the fifth years managed to push the children so far away from their guardian that they were on separate floors before Sirius even noticed.

-- -- -- -- --

Sirius dashed into the Gryffindor common room sweating through and through.

"It's about time were going to be late for Potions," said Victoria sharply.

"We have bigger problems," panted Sirius. "I can't find the kids!"

"What do you mean you can't find them," Olivia shouted.

"I mean I've looked everywhere and can't find them," repeated Sirius.

"That's the last time I leave you alone with them! Come on we have to go find them before Professor Dumbledore finds out what you did," said Lily irritably.

-- -- -- -- --

Harry, Ron and Hermione tried everything they knew how to do but they couldn't find Sirius and much to their horror they found that to make matters worse they couldn't apparate to Dumbledore. Hermione started crying and Ron looked very nervous as well. Harry didn't know what to do. Hogwarts wasn't very much fun when you were lost. Even though he tried to stop it, he started crying too. They were never going to find Sirius. They would just stay lost forever or worse the bad men would come and find them. Harry shivered.

"Excuse me, but why are you crying?"

Harry looked up startled to see a freckle faced first year girl who had shiny black hair and a pudgy nose. At first he stayed quiet because his grandmother had told them they shouldn't talk to strangers and they didn't know this girl, but she seemed nice and besides they were desperate.

"We- we -- we lost Siri," he stammered sobbing even harder now.

"Don't cry it's okay. Why don't we go find Professor McGonagall? She's the head of your cousin's house; she'll know where to find them. Come on. My name's Marta by the way," she said, taking Harry by the hand and leading him back to Professor McGonagall's classroom.

The class was full of over excited sixth-year students who couldn't wait to begin their lesson on human Transfiguration. Several of the students were quite annoyed at the distraction that Marta the first year and the three little ones caused when they entered the room.

"Yes Miss Prewitt," said Professor McGonagall, clearly curious as to why Harry, Ron and Hermione were accompanying the first year girl.

"I found these guys outside the Ravenclaw common room," said Marta quietly.

"It was awful Minnie we lost Padfoot," shrieked Hermione.

After instructing her own students to read quietly from the textbooks Professor McGonagall led Harry, Ron and Hermione to the dungeons where the children's teenage guardians had been sitting on pins and needles ever since Filch had caught them and forced them to go to their class empty-handed. While the Marauders and Lily's friends were receiving an earful from Professor McGonagall, Harry, Ron and Hermione met Professor Slughorn for the first time. The Potion's Master was very nice to the threesome and seemed very impressed by their magical prowess. But in spite of all this, Harry couldn't help but stare at this man. There was just something strange about him. He was a relatively short but well-dressed balding man whose remaining hair was turning gray. He had a rather large belly and huge eyes.

When James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Victoria and Olivia returned from the hall looking severely harassed Professor Slughorn stood up to address the class.

"You will all note that we have some special guests in class today. I trust you are all old enough to act maturely and go about your class work the way you would normally," he said casually.

"Are you mad at us Siri," Harry asked a sullen Padfoot tremulously.

"'Course not," replied Sirius absentmindedly.

With that being said Lily laid out a blanket for her charges to sit on and, despite protest that they would be too busy to play with their toys, James took them out anyway. Harry, Ron and Hermione were indeed busy. Much to their disappointment however they were not busy making potions. Except for the pretend ones they made when Lily gave them a snack. They weren't hungry but they ate anyway because Joshua told them they were supposed to eat something frequently for a while, even if it was just a couple of graham crackers.

The reason they were so busy was because about halfway through the lesson Isabella and her friend (Samantha, Olivia had called her) came up to James and ruined the whole day.

"Hi Jamie," said Isabella breathlessly.

"Isabella," James nodded curtly.

"I was just wondering if I could borrow your scales, mine broke," she giggled in a way that reminded Hermione of a hyena she'd seen once at the zoo.

"Sorry, Isabella, but I'm lending my scales to Lily right now," said James not sounding the least bit sorry at all.

Isabella looked at Lily clearly surprised to see her sitting right next to James. Lily smiled with satisfaction at the look of horror on Isabella's face. She waved as pleasantly as she possibly could at the snobbish girl and Lily almost bursts into fits of laughter at the look on her rival's face.

Isabella looked as though someone had just snuck up on her and smashed a water balloon in her face.

"Why you nasty little-" Isabella began.

James raised his eyebrows at her. In reality of course James knew all about Isabella's hatred of Lily and all about all of the other stupid little games Isabella liked to play, thinking they would get James to be her boyfriend, but part of James found it strangely amusing to watch Isabella make a fool of herself.

"I -- I --" Isabella stammered until her eyes fell on Harry. "This must be that adorable little cousin I've heard so much about."

Isabella reached down and pinched Harry's cheek so hard that when she pulled her hand back it left a red mark.

"Really from who," asked Remus unable to restrain himself.

"You'd be amazed what you can learn when you are stalking someone," whispered Victoria.

Isabella ignored the two of them. She instead spoke breathlessly to James, "Kids love me you know."

Olivia snorted. Ignoring yet another person who was unwilling to help her with her desperate game, Isabella this time addressed Harry, speaking as though he were deaf and stupid.

"This -- must -- be -- Hedwig -- can -- I -- hold -- him?"

Harry shook his head trembling and clutched his beloved owl closer to his chest, but Isabella snatched it from him anyway.

Immediately, Lily, Victoria, Olivia, Remus and James all stood up. Professor Slughorn looked up from his desk and made to stand up but he just wasn't quick enough. Olivia was on top of Samantha pulling out a handful of her overly glossy blond hair quicker than you could say Quality Quidditch Supplies. Olivia had been aiming for Isabella but Samantha had been in the way. Nevertheless it seemed that beating up Samantha was just as satisfying as beating up Isabella.

"Miss Cole, Miss Tisdale stop this preposterous behavior at once," said Professor Slughorn trying desperately to pull the two girls apart.

Peter was not on his feet because he could not have cared any less for Harry or his "stupid stuffed animal" if he tried. Sirius, on the other hand, had the opposite problem. For reasons he did not fully understand, Sirius took one look at Harry trembling and his eyes watering and Hermione who was hugging him so tightly that her little fingers were white and Sirius's first instinct was to drag the puffed up princess around by her hair until she dropped the toy and left Hogwarts for good, crying all the way home to her pompous, self-important parents. Instead Sirius found himself on the floor trying to calm down all three of the distressed children.

"Hey you. That's not yours give it back," shouted Ron.

"It's okay Ron, James and Lily are going to get Hedwig back right now," said Sirius. "Just calm down okay?"

Keeping one hand on Ron's shoulder and draping the other arm around Harry, Sirius looked at Isabella.

"I didn't think you could get anymore pathetic Fontaine, but I was wrong. Honestly, using Harry to get James, how pitiful can you get," he snapped coldly.

"Look who's talking Black. The only reason you hang around these demons is so that you'll look like Mr. Sensitivity to all the girls," snapped Isabella fiercely.

"Nuh-uh, Padfoot loves me," said Harry shakily.

"I'm warning you Fontaine, give Harry back his toy and back off," said James fiercely.

"But Jamie, Jamie, the only reason they don't like me is because she poisoned them against me," whined Isabella desperately pointing to Lily.

"No way, we don't like you because you took Hedwig, and you called us monsters, and you called Lily a mudhead," Ron said angrily. It was clear in his voice that insulting Lily was the worst offense of all.

"A Mudblood? You called Lily a Mudblood," snarled James.

Before anyone could say or do anything else there was a clatter as Harry fell over knocking down Lily's cauldron as he hit the ground. Hermione vomited violently and Ron got a severe and blinding headache. Lily, James, Remus and Sirius rushed the three children to the hospital wing at once. Hermione was crying. Remus had to carry Ron piggyback because he was complaining of severe dizziness. James looked rather pale as he carried Harry firmly in his arms.

When they arrived in the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was in her office playing solitaire. It was certainly lucky that the nurse was having a slow day. Harry was such an extraordinary child that whatever was plaguing him was most likely something that would have been hard to explain if there were other students in the wing. Exhausted Remus, Lily and Sirius collapsed onto vacant beds while the matron examined Harry. James, on the other hand, was pacing back and forth so much that it looked like he was going to make a hole in the floor.

"You can stop that now, Potter. Harry and the others are going to be just fine. It was just a bad reaction to all the heightened emotions in the classroom. Next time I suggest the four of you try to control your tempers," said Madam Pomfrey looking sternly at all of them.

Madam Pomfrey insisted on keeping Harry, Ron and Hermione in the hospital wing for the rest of the day. She said there was no reason for all four of them to stay and sent Remus and Sirius to their classes. Sirius was still reeling from what had happened in Potions. As hard as he tried, Sirius couldn't get Isabella's accusation out of his mind. He knew it was true and in the past he wouldn't have minded so much, but he couldn't get Harry out of his mind either. Every time he blinked he saw the image of Harry trembling in fright.

But what was bothering Sirius the most was Harry's quiet declaration. 'Padfoot loves me.' Poor Harry sounded so sure of it, but the way Harry stared up at Sirius as though begging him to confirm it was heart wrenching.

He definitely needed a little air. He couldn't understand why he cared so much about what happened to Harry. After all Harry wasn't his kid. Sirius could understand why James felt so strongly about Harry. Family was very important to all of the Potters. But even though Sirius loved his new family very much, he always felt like he was missing something. Like they knew something he didn't.

Sirius had realized something on the first night Harry was staying at Hogwarts with them. Sirius had stayed up half the night listening to James trying to convince Harry and Ron that Hermione was going to be fine. He could hear Peter snoring next to him like he didn't have a care in the world and that's when Sirius realized he had never really thought about children before and he didn't really know how he felt about them. Did he hate them the way Peter did or was he patient and accepting like Remus? He wasn't really sure but perhaps it was too early to tell. That had been days ago and still Sirius couldn't help but wonder if he would be good with these kids or not. If today was any indication of the future than they were all in a lot of trouble.

Sirius was still deeply troubled as he walked with Remus back to the hospital wing to pick up Harry and the others. When they reached their destination Remus entered the room at once. Sirius made to follow but hesitated. Sirius would be lying if he said he didn't know why he wasn't willing to go into the hospital wing. He was feeling very guilty for using Harry the way he had.

Sirius took a deep breath and went inside. Harry was not angry with Sirius at all. In fact he was quite elated to see his future godfather, which made Sirius feel even worse. Harry told him happily about all the things he had gotten to do while in the hospital wing. When they returned to the Gryffindor tower, the common room was buzzing about Olivia's attack on Samantha.

"Hey there handsome. How are you feeling," Victoria asked considerately.

"Sleepy," Harry replied allowing Hedwig to drag along the floor as his arms drooped in exhaustion.

Lily chuckled.

"Hey Tori where is Livi," she asked realizing the new celebrity of the Gryffindor tower was nowhere to be seen.

"She got a months worth of detention with Samantha and Isabella," Victoria whispered hurriedly.

"You're kidding! How mad was Slughorn," asked Lily completely intrigued by this news.

"Pretty mad," said Victoria solemnly. "After you left Slughorn went and got Dumbledore."

Lily gasped. As much as Sirius wanted to hear what had happened, Harry, Ron and Hermione had fallen asleep in some of the more uncomfortable chairs in the tower and the boys decided it was best if they put the kids to bed first. By the time Victoria had finished her story it was very late and the Marauders made their way slowly up to the dormitory desperate for a good nights sleep.

Sirius was both physically and mentally exhausted. So much so it was all he could do as he lay in his four poster bed with the curtains drawn to listen to the gentle tap of rain on the windowsill playing a strange sort of a lullaby and drift slowly off to sleep. Several hours later Sirius awoke in a cold sweat. Physically exhausted and completely drained, but suddenly all his reservations about children and family had melted away. He truly understood the meaning of unconditional love.

Slowly Sirius got out of bed and walked across the room to Harry's bedside where Harry was asleep. He chuckled to himself. Harry had accidentally kicked off his blankets. Sirius bent down and placed it over the little boy and whispered, "Yeah Harry, I do love you."

Next chapter: it's the Halloween ball and the question on everyone's mind is who are the marauders taking to the dance