"You need to take it slow, son," Hershel's voice echoed from the cell next to mine. I smiled to myself as I pulled the thick deer hide blanket around my thin frame. I still didn't know where Rick got it, but I was grateful for it. Over the last two weeks, it had become a safety net of a sort.
With Angel's help, I managed to stand and take a few shaky steps. That how it had been since the last round of blood transfusions two weeks prior. Angel made it so Hershel wasn't to so much as stick a needle in me, much less draw blood. I was still weak, weaker than I'd ever been, but with her help, I was mobile at least.
"Easy, Kate, slow steps," she coaxed.
"I'm not broken, Ang, just weak," I spat.
Angel just smiled as we exited my cell, making for the next one.
"I'm sick, not dead," Daryl's rough southern drawl chimed.
"Katie almost died to save you, Daryl, the least you could do is make use of that and rest!" Hershel argued.
"Can only lead a horse to water, can't make 'im drink," I laughed as I pushed the thin blanket away from the doorway. "Welcome back, Daryl," I added.
He grunted in response.
"Hey now, don't be a prick," I joked as I staggered into the room. Angel caught me before I could fall on my face.
"Kate, slow down," she muttered as she let me lean against her. I sighed and did as I was told.
"How're you?" I asked Daryl.
"Fine," he said, looking up at me with those to die for blue eyes.
"Uh-huh, you're as pale as them there walkers," I laughed.
"So're you," he shot back. We both smiled then.
"Rick's pissed at you," Angel informed me as she helped me sit down on the floor. I leaned against the cool stone, grateful for something to lean against.
"Uh-huh, 'course he is," I tutted.
"He's only angry because he worries," Hershel piped up.
"No. He's angry because the blood bank ran dry!" Angel growled.
"Stop," I grumbled. "Rick has every reason to be angry. Fuck, I was born to save lives," I muttered.
"That isn't true," Angel said quickly.
"No, it is," I said with a sigh.
"Kate," Daryl said gently.
"No, you aren't getting it!" I snapped, anger boiling in my veins. "I'm a donor baby!"
"What?" Angel gasped.
"You mean…" Hershel blinked, amazed.
"Yeah, Hershel. My parents only had me so I could be of use to their son!" I spat. I closed my eyes. God, I had a raging headache.
"You never told me that," Angel said softly.
"Never came up," I growled. "Jacob needed a bone marrow transplant. He was dying," I whispered, tears welling in my eyes. "My parents…they did everything they could for him. When they heard about donor babies, or spare part babies, they decided to try. Naturally, I was a match. Because of my birth, he survived," I looked up at them, the tears spilling over. "Six years later, he got a really awful infection. Blood poisoning and before we knew it, we were back at square one. So my parents consented to a partial liver transplant, countless transfusions, the works," I sucked in a shaking breath. "Due to all that, I wound up anemic. Have been for the better part of two decades now," I added. "That's why I can't just bounce back like anyone else. But I'm a donor baby. I was born to save lives."
"If we'd know you were anemic…" Hershel said, his eyes sad.
"Don't." I whispered. "Had you known, can you honestly tell me you'd have let me go through with it? I made the decision, Hershel. I did. Not a doctor, not my parents, not my brother. Me. I made that decision. I choose to risk my life for Daryl."
"Why?" I looked up. Daryl was giving me a soft, yet confused look. His southern tone almost broke my heart. "Why'd you do that?"
"Because I promised Merle!" I cried. Angel wrapped her arm around me, shushing softly, her cheek pressed into the top of my head.
"You didn't need to keep that promise, Katie," she said softly so only I could hear her. "You owe that man nothing."
"I know," I said, pushing her away. "But first, I keep my word, and second, Merle's the reason I'm alive today."
Everyone fell silent. My revelation stunned the trio. No one had expected me to utter that statement. No one knew. No one, that is, other than my journal.
Day 68
God, I hate it here. Merle's the biggest prick to walk god's green earth. He's always ranting and raving about one thing or another. Sonovabitch, that one. Should'a let Marti kill 'im when I had the chance.
Naw, I don't mean that. Merle had my back out there. God, that riot, boy it got messy.
So I'm sittin' here, hooked to Morphine and lemme tell ya, it feels great. Soaring higher than a kite right now. Sure am. Haven't felt this good since that night.
Might try 'an score some dope off one of my boys in the lot once this leg heals. What's a bj for a nice fix?
Fuck. They'll throwing me back in with bitching beauty. This ought to be fun. A real walk in the park.
So I managed to score some dope of Marti. Cost'd me a lot more than a bj, but hey, it's all the price you pay for a little snow, right? Merle's 'bout to break mah neck, but boy-ee, I feel real damn good.
Might just…oh…yeah, that's the good part. That "you know you're gon' die 'cause of this shit," moment.
Yeah. So, odds are, I'mma die today.
Day 73
Well I'll be. Nearly died back there. Merle's sorry ass woke up long 'nough to realize I wasn' breathing. Guess I over did it, eh?
Ever'hing's fuzzy and whatever. Guess it's a sign. Maybe I'll clean up my act afta all.
Day 75
Merle said he'd personally kill me if I didn't stay clean. What the hell?
Day 80
I'm about to get out of here today. Dunno how that happened.
So Merle, he's an okay dude. For a fuckin' hick. You wan' know what he said to me?
He told me, right up there, in the balcony that overlooks the yard "Katie, my brother, he's a good kid. Tough too. But he's a pussy. Need'sa real good look in the mirror. If I don't make it outta here, you gotta go find him, ya hear? He'll keep ya clean. Shit, that kid's always tryin' to get me to sober up. Ya listening?"
I looked at him like he had three heads. Me and Merle, we didn't do the deep shit. We weren't a bunch of sissies.
"We live down south a ways. You'll find the place," he said, handing me a crumpled piece of paper. "Please. Look out for my baby brother?"
Those were the last damn words he said 'fore I was released into the free world once more.
Might head on down that way. See what Daryl Dixon's like. Prolly a pig like that broth' of his. But damn, this itch. I needa do somethin' with my life, ya know? Somethin' worth dying for.
Katie looked at me with wide eyes as she closed the tattered old notebook.
"Merle said that to you?" she breathed.
"Uh-huh," I shrugged. I was barely listening. I was too busy forcing myself to stay awake. "Hey Ang?"
"Huh?"
"Can we go back to my cell? I ain't feelin' up to socializin' today," I muttered. I felt her hand press against my forehead before she hauled me to my feet.
"Thank you," came a voice far gentler than I had expected. I turned to see Daryl holding my ratty old notebook in his hands. I smiled weakly at him, before the floor spun out of control. Angel felt my sag in her arms, but instead of keeping me upright, she sat me on the floor, shoving my head between my knees.
"Real easy now, breathe," she whispered.
"This happen often?" Hershel asked. She hadn't let him near me for the last week.
"She's fine, no thanks to you," Angel spat.
"Shu' up," I muttered. I couldn't stop the spinning. Even with my eyes pressed shut, the spinning wouldn't stop. "Shu' up."
A/n - I don't know how I feel about this chapter. It was more difficult to write than I had hoped, and I kept on changing my mind. I'd love a little feedback, before I decide to scrap it again and start over.
