"Are you sure you don't want me to come home?"
Haruko clutched the phone as if by holding it closer to her ear she was actually, physically closer to her husband. Just the sound of his voice threatened to start her sobbing. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and took a deep breath. "Of course I want you home; but the police said you'll be safer where you are."
"I don't care how safe I am," Michio said, "I'm worried about you."
"I'm alright." From her low seat on the curb against the concrete pillar, Haruko gazed around the parking garage. Several patrol cars and uniformed officers had arrived in the past half hour, along with a forensics unit and the coroner's van. They crawled over the scene like flies over a trash heap. Chief Kirihara - Misaki - was in the midst of it, issuing directions and fielding calls on her cell phone practically simultaneously.
Fortunately none of them bothered Haruko. At one point an officer approached, but Misaki intercepted him, for which she was grateful. She wasn't up to answering any further questions, not when she had no idea what had happened herself. Why her, of all people? All she wanted to do was help her clients create better lives for themselves. Why should anyone want to kill her for that?
"I'm in good hands here," Haruko continued. "The police said that it isn't likely anyone will go after you, especially not in a public area. You'll be okay if you stay at the conference center and do what the police say. And I'll be okay if I don't have to worry about you." Her words were confident enough, but she was unable to keep the tremor out of her voice.
"Hey, just focus on taking care of yourself," Michio reminded her gently. "No need to worry about me."
"I know. I just miss you."
"I miss you too - I'll see you in a few days."
Haruko ended the call, wiping her eyes on her already-grimy sleeve and wishing for a cup of tea to calm her nerves. Was it only an hour ago that they'd been chatting so casually, with nothing more serious on their minds than Haruko's usual concern over her clients?
She sighed to herself, and forced those feelings aside. There was no point in dwelling on them now; not with Ayami missing, and Hei off somewhere on his own.
Hei had left almost immediately, pausing only for a brief, private word with Misaki before disappearing into the shadows of the garage. Haruko frowned, absently watching the police at their work.
Several of her clients over the years had killed others, either in self-defense, the defense of others, or purely by accident. It had been traumatizing for them all, even when they knew logically that they had done the right - or at least the best in those circumstances - thing. Years of patient work was required in most cases to learn how to handle those memories and feelings of guilt. Even veteran police officers had similar problems; she'd worked with one or two of them.
Hei, however, had seemed to brush aside his killing of this contractor as if it had been only a minor annoyance, like getting a parking ticket. He'd shown more concern over her own reaction.
She would have expected that from a senior officer, perhaps; Section Four dealt with far more dangerous people than the rest of the police force, so it would stand to reason that its members would eventually become used to the need to take a life. But Hei hadn't been with them for all that long; and he'd told her that Misaki had recruited him for this team specifically to handle contractors.
Haruko shifted her gaze to the police chief, currently crouched over the contractor's body as if it was merely an interesting leaf on the ground and discussing something with Detective Kouno. She hadn't seemed overly concerned with Hei's actions either.
During their earlier goodbye, Haruko had seen Misaki reach up to touch the bandage on his neck, then squeeze his arm briefly. Hei had glanced in Haruko's direction, said something to Misaki, then left, as if everything that had happened in the garage had been completely normal. Misaki had spared only one unreadable look at his retreat before taking charge of the crime scene with an undeniable air of authority.
Kouno shifted over, giving Haruko a clear view of the corpse; she hurriedly adjusted her gaze to stare at the now familiar blank spot on the wall across from her.
She wished that Hei had been more forthcoming with the details of his past; it would make it so much easier to understand where these contradictions in his character were coming from. But if he wasn't ready to talk about it, then her pushing wouldn't help anything. She'd just have to continue to be patient.
Another thought abruptly occurred to her as she tried to wipe the sight of the body from her mind - there wasn't any blood.
Haruko was by no means an expert in forensics, but wasn't there usually a lot of blood when someone was killed? Strangulation was bloodless, she supposed, but that took time. Hei had told her that he'd dealt with the contractor quickly because of his ability; and in any case, the thought of her client, with his kind eyes and gentle nature, patiently choking a man to death was almost ludicrous.
Still, the hardness that had been in his eyes tonight…
"Ready?"
The question pulled Haruko back to the present. She looked up; Misaki was standing over her, her smile tight.
"I'm sorry?"
"To head to the safe house," the police chief clarified.
"Oh." Haruko tried to wipe her hands on her skirt again - she wasn't sure she would ever get the grime off - and stood. "Yes. Any word about Ayami?" She stooped to collect her purse and followed Misaki to her car.
"We have a trace on her cell phone. If she - or anyone else - uses it again, we'll be able to narrow down the phone's location. And her photo has been distributed."
That didn't seem to be very encouraging news. Haruko's stomach twisted in worry for her client; what were the odds of someone both seeing the photo and Ayami, and within a close enough time frame to actually recognize her?
They climbed into the blue sports car, Haruko folding her skirt around her legs to keep it from getting caught in the door. Michio would be so jealous if she got the chance to tell him she'd ridden in a Porsche.
When, not if. She was definitely going to see him again.
"Thank you for this," Haruko said as they pulled out of the garage and onto the busy nighttime street. "Your men said this is your night off?"
Misaki nodded, her eyes on the road. "Yes, but I usually end up working on my days off anyway." A smile brushed her lips as she added, "Well, before Hei and I started dating, I did." She hadn't removed her shoulder holster when they'd gotten into the car, a fact that simultaneously reassured Haruko and set her nerves on edge.
"What changed?" Haruko asked, more out of a need to distract herself from thoughts of hidden eyes watching from them from the shadows as they headed towards this safe house.
"Well, I do love my job; but sometimes I end up working just because there isn't anything else to do. With someone to spend time with at home now, I guess I get less bored. And he's always finding new stuff to do around the city." Misaki shook her head, but she was still smiling. "I've lived in Tokyo my whole life, but it's like there's this whole other layer to it that I never knew existed."
It was so gratifying to hear the affection in Misaki's voice, a clear contradiction to many of Hei's worries. Haruko smiled, her own worries momentarily pushed to the background. "I suppose being a newcomer to the city makes it easier to see things from a different perspective."
"Hm, probably. Mostly I think it's just that he listens to people."
"Listens - not talks?"
Misaki took the car around a sharp corner; Haruko tightened her grip on the arm rest.
"He has this way of asking one or two casual questions, getting people talking," Misaki said, weaving through traffic now. Haruko wondered if she was trying to keep someone from following them, or if she normally drove this…unpredictably. She did seem to keep casting glances in the rearview mirror. "He's genuinely interested in what they're saying - in five minutes someone will be spilling their whole life story, it's really amazing. So he finds out about all kinds of new restaurants, events in the neighborhood, that sort of thing. A couple weeks ago we went to a kite festival that a ramen stand owner told him about; apparently it's been held in the park down the street from my apartment for years, and I never knew."
That did sound like the client that Haruko knew. She remembered his offhand comment about being good at getting people to like him, and the distaste with which he'd said it.
"I swear he already knows half the metropolitan police force by now," Misaki continued. "And they all owe him favors, I'm sure."
Haruko frowned a little at that. "You mean he has an ulterior motive for talking with people?"
"No, nothing like that! He listens and hears what people need; then he helps, without expecting anything back." It was Misaki's turn to frown. "He would say that he's not actually being helpful, that it's just instinctive after all his training. But people can tell when someone is being disingenuous. He wouldn't be so good at it if that wasn't naturally the type of person he is."
"Like with Ayami," Haruko realized. "I was surprised to hear that Hei had even learned her name; she's very mistrustful of strangers, but she doesn't have anyone to talk to, aside from me." Hei did have an open and nonthreatening presence; Haruko could imagine Ayami responding to sympathetic question or two.
Misaki laughed. "That's his big brother complex. Sorry, I know that's probably not a real term - but it explains him so perfectly. He had devoted his life to taking care of his little sister; now that she's gone, he's always finding other people to look after."
So he had lost his sister then. Haruko had expected as much, from the mere fact that he never talked about her. But it warmed it her heart that Hei had found a partner who understood him so clearly; he needed that support. "That's not a real term, no - but it sounds like he would be very devoted to any future children."
Misaki very nearly plowed into the Toyota in front of them; the seatbelt dug into Haruko's shoulder as the brakes squealed.
"That - oh, um, we haven't talked - there's still plenty of time to think about something like that." Misaki coughed and waved a hand vaguely. If the car's interior hadn't been so dark, Haruko was sure her face would be beet red.
"I'm sorry, that was too personal," Haruko said, abruptly realizing that she was dangerously close to crossing a professional line. It wasn't often that she met the friends and family members of her clients; when she did, she was always careful not to fish for information that they weren't ready to tell her, or accidentally share things they wanted to keep private from those close acquaintances. She usually didn't slip up like this; it must be her weariness after the chaos of that evening.
"It's alright. This isn't exactly a normal situation, I guess."
"Why did Hei go on ahead of us?" Haruko asked, steering the conversation back onto more neutral ground; though she couldn't help but note that Misaki clearly needed to do some introspection of her own. And that she hadn't used it's too early as an excuse; that was a good sign that she was thinking in the long term, just like Hei.
"Because he's paranoid." Misaki pursed her lips. "I don't mean that as a criticism; he's needed to be paranoid for most of his life. It's just that sometimes it's a little…excessive. But it makes him feel better to check things over himself. And you're someone he cares about, so he wanted to take that extra step; otherwise I might have pushed back."
Haruko blinked. Hei could hardly even make eye contact during their discussions. Then again, it did fit with his need to look after others, as Misaki had described.
He seemed like such a good fit as a police officer. Again, she wondered why it was so hard for him to see that.
"But he went home first?" she asked. That hadn't made much sense to her at the time; but the further they drove from the crime scene, the calmer and more focused Haruko was feeling.
"Mm. To pick up his gear."
"That sounded like an old argument," Haruko said before she could catch herself.
Misaki, however, didn't seem to mind the comment. "It's not so much an argument as...a fine line that we're trying to navigate, I guess," she said. "I thought it would be simple for him to transition to the police - just like changing jobs. You take the skills you learned at your old job, apply them in your new position while adhering to the company's protocols. Easy. I just keep forgetting that the methods he knows - the methods he's an expert at - aren't exactly in line with police procedure. He wants to help people, and he's trying his best to follow what I tell him. But it's completely different from the way he's used to working, even if he'd like to forget those skills." She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. "As a supervisor, I know that I'm under-utilizing his talents; but as someone who cares about him, I just feel so guilty asking him to do anything that reminds him of that former life."
"I didn't hear you asking him to do anything," Haruko pointed out. "It was his request."
"I know. But it's still my responsibility for agreeing." She sighed. "Oh, I should probably warn you; he'll most likely be in his tactical gear when we get to the safe house."
Haruko nodded, trying to picture her diffident client decked out in full swat regalia. It was as absurd as imagining him strangling a person.
"He'll also probably be cooking," Misaki added with a warm smile.
"Cooking?" That sounded like the Hei she knew.
Misaki laughed. "It helps him relax when he's tense. But it really threw me for a loop, the first time I saw it. Here was a guy who could kill me with his bare hands - who I thought would kill me, before I got to know him - standing over my stove with a wooden rice paddle."
"Why would you think he would kill you?" Haruko asked, aghast.
"Well, it was my job to arrest him. Contractors don't usually have any compunction about killing cops who get in their way. Of course, looking back I realized that he'd always gone out of his way to avoid hurting me; but it was definitely my biggest fear when he showed up at my door."
"He said that he isn't a contractor…"
"Technically, no. I wasn't at all surprised when he told me that he's human after all, after having worked with him for so long." She snorted. "He hides it well, but he is way too emotional for a contractor. Though at that time we both thought that he was one. So yeah, that was my first reaction."
Haruko blinked, trying to process this unexpected information. She remembered that Hei hadn't been armed tonight, that there had been no blood around the body. "So…tonight wasn't the first time he's killed someone."
"Of course not." Misaki frowned. "Actually, it is the first time he's had to use lethal force in the course of duty - shit, we're going to have to talk about that," she added to herself.
"What…exactly was his job before joining the police?" Haruko asked weakly.
Misaki glanced at her before returning her eyes to the road. "What do you mean? He said that he told you about how we first started working together."
"He said that he and his team found out that their employers were doing something illegal."
"Well, that's, um, technically true. Also a massive understatement. I mean, everything the Syndicate did was illegal."
Haruko's eyebrows rose in disbelief. "The Syndicate? That shadow government that tried to blow up the country - Hei worked for them?"
Misaki grimaced. "I'm sorry - I thought he'd told you all of this, or I wouldn't have said anything."
"I try not to push; sensitive topics have to be treated with care."
"It's not even that he's sensitive," Misaki said. "Well, unless it has to do with his family or his time in South America. Life with the Syndicate was just so…normal for him, that I think he naturally downplays details from that time, because he doesn't realize how awful it is. I mean, most people would try and get help when they wake up shaking and sweating several nights a week; he just moves to the couch so he won't bother me."
"Night terrors? He only told me about his panic attacks." With casual nonchalance, she recalled.
"Dammit, Hei," Misaki muttered under her breath, then sighed in obvious annoyance. "See what I mean? He's had them for so long that to him, they're normal. Apparently his subconscious learned not to scream during his night terrors, because he could be found and killed in his sleep. So at least there's that." She snorted. "Getting him to actually talk about these things is almost impossible - either because he honestly doesn't see how it's important, or it's so painful that he can't even think about it."
"I've noticed," Haruko said with a sigh. "But that's why therapy is a process. He's making an effort."
"I know. Shit, I shouldn't even be talking like this. I guess I just needed to vent." She gave a rueful smile as the car came to a stop.
Haruko glanced out the window, and was surprised to see that they had pulled up outside of a modest house. "We're here?" she asked, the apprehension settling in her stomach once again.
Misaki nodded, shutting off the engine. "Do you feel okay with this? I can always send Hei back to the office and have Kouno -"
"That's alright," Haruko said, hoping that she'd managed to inject some confidence into her voice. He had saved her life tonight; and after all, he was still the same insecure, kind young man who sat across from her in her office once a week. "I'll be fine."
