The Uncanny XSE
Chapter 9: Deathbird's Revenge- Part 1
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.
Mutant Town-
Mutant Town, New York. Never had their been a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. (1) For the uneducated, Mutant Town was a district of New York that was mostly populated by mutants. Sure, there were flat-scans living there, but it would be so unlikely to find one, that you would have more luck finding a Summers Brother that didn't have a stick up his butt.
Mutant Town had its own police force. While the Mutant Town police force was small, it didn't mean that the officers weren't loyal.
One such officer was Lucas Bishop. Yes, the X-Man Bishop. When he wasn't doing his thing with the X-Men, Bishop could often be found patrolling the streets of Mutant Town.
Today Bishop had a bit of action for himself. An anonymous tip had come through telling the cops of an alleged drugs lab somewhere in the district. Bishop had gathered up a few of his fellow officers and headed down to the location of the alleged drugs lab.
Bishop led his fellow officers into the drugs lab, being extra careful in case they had just walked in to a trap. Everything seemed to be fine. Apart from the lack of any actual people working in the lab. Not even a drug-addled prostitute looking for a quick fix. That suited the cops just fine. It saved them the fuss of getting involved in a messy shoot out.
'Hey Bishop, come over here...' One of the officers called from across the lab. 'What do you make of this?'
Bishop walked over to where the officer was knelt.
'What've you got?' Bishop asked as he knelt down beside the officer.
'Does this mean anything to you?' The officer blinked as he held up a hi-tech-looking device. 'Cuz I haven't seen anything like this before.'
Bishop's eyes widened in surprise. The device was a Shi'Ar incendiary mine, and if the blinking lights on the side of the device were any indication, the officer had just activated it!
Bishop dove for cover as the mine exploded in a giant fireball, incinerating the poor officer holding it.
Bishop blearily looked upwards to see a winged figure walk through the inferno before he passed out.
The Xavier Institute, A few minutes earlier-
It was midnight and most of the staff and students at the Xavier Institute were asleep. One of the exceptions was Sage. The living computer was in her usual place in the monitor room. It was time for one last security inspection, then Sage would be trotting up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire. She was already wearing her fuzzy bunny slippers.
Surveillance- Main Gate, Xavier Institute- 1407 Graymalkin Lane- Subject: Peter Wisdom. Subject: Amara Aquilla, code-named Magma.
Sage watched as Pete and Amara stepped out of a cab that had just pulled up outside. Well, Amara stepped out, Pete kind of... stumbled.
Once Sage was satisfied that nothing untoward was going on outside, she switched to a different security camera.
Surveillance- Camera 6- Subject: Emma Frost. Subject: Henry McCoy, code-named Beast. Subject: Christian McCoy.
Sage watched as Emma and Hank carried their baby son up the stairs to bed.
Subjects: Phoebe, Fiona, and Eve Stepford, code-named Stepford Cuckoos.
The three identical blonde telepaths waved goodnight to baby Christian. Emma raised her baby son's little pudgy hand as if he were waving back. Hank kissed Emma on the cheek and headed on to their room.
Surveillance- Camera 14- Subject: Kevin Sidney, code-named Morph. Subject: Clarice Ferguson, code-named Blink.
Sage smiled slightly as she saw Morph look around nervously as he slowly stepped out of Clarice's room. Somebody had been up to adult situations...
Clarice gave Morph a quick kiss and a hug before heading back into her room. Morph grinned goofily before skipping down the corridor to the boys' dormitories.
Surveillance- Camera 21- Subject: Cain Marko, code-named Juggernaut. Subject: Jeanne-Marie Beaubier, code-named Aurora.
Cain and Jeanne-Marie sauntered down the corridor arm-in-arm. Sage frowned slightly when the pair stopped in their tracks. Jeanne-Marie turned around and looked straight at the camera. She then blew a kiss and proceeded on her way.
Sage shook her head with a chuckle. That was enough for today. It was time for bed.
Sage hopped out of her chair and stretched her arms with a groan.
'Mmmm. Perhaps I should say goodnight to Lucas first...' Sage thought out loud. 'That's unusual... I didn't see him come in. Oh yes. That's right, he is still on patrol.'
No sooner had Sage said that, then she saw something in the corner of her eye. It was an emergency link-up to the Mutant Town Police Department. The very same Mutant Town where Bishop was on patrol.
Sage put her hand to her mouth with a shocked gasp.
'Oh God, Lucas...'
Elsewhere-
Somewhere, only god knows where, Bishop slowly regained consciousness.
'Oh God, What happened...'
Bishop blinked blearily. He was in a room that he didn't recognize. There weren't any windows, so he couldn't see outside to gather his surroundings.
Bishop tried to move, but found that his arms and legs were shackled to the wall.
'Uh-oh. This can't be good...'
Bishop then tried to free himself with an energy blast. But nothing happened. Somebody, or something, was dampening his powers.
'Oh, this is just lovely...' Bishop muttered to himself. 'Blown up, kidnapped, and strung up like a Thanksgiving turkey. My night couldn't get any worse...'
'Oh, I wouldn't say that, Beloved...'
Bishop let out a groan as he saw a figure walk out of the shadows.
'Deathbird...' Bishop groused. 'I knew it would only be a matter of time until you showed your ugly face!'
'You know, you once thought I was pretty.' The rogue Shi'Ar known as Deathbird tutted as she stroked Bishop's cheek with a taloned hand.
'Yeah well, a lot has changed since then.' Bishop sneered. 'Now. what do you say that you turn off this power dampener so we can talk about this like adults?'
'No, I don't think I will...' Deathbird shook her head as she toyed with an ornate, but nasty-looking, knife in her hands. 'i thought I might have a little fun first...'
An evil, seductive grin spread across Deathbird's face as she slashed Bishop's chest with her knife. She then wiped some of the blood up with a finger and licked it off.
'You always did taste delicious, Beloved...'
Back at Xavier's-
Sage had gathered the rest of the team in the War Room. Well, those of the team that weren't off gallivanting in Canada (2). Presently she was joined by Paige, Warren, Angelo and Sam. Tabitha and Roberto had kindly offered their help, seeing that the team was down a few members.
'So what's the what, Sage?' Tabitha yawned as she struggled to get her hair right. 'Some of us were sleeping, y'know.'
'Yes... We were... sleepin'...' Sam added, his eyes darting around nervously.
'Give it up, esse.' Angelo rolled his eyes. 'We all know that you and Tabby are back together. The walls are so thin in this place that we can hear you as well!'
'Hey, don't look at me!' Tabby held her hands up in defence. 'Sammy's the screamer.'
Sage looked around at the ramshackle team that she had assembled.
'If I may pull you away form your fascinating discussion regarding Sam's sex life?' Sage sighed. 'We have a situation here...'
'It had damn well better be a good situation to get me out of bed...' Paige muttered to herself. 'I was having the greatest dream. It involved Captain America, Spider-Man, and a giant vat of strawberry ice-cream.'
'My dreams usually involve Susan Richards, Squirrel Girl (3), and whipped cream.' Roberto added with a grin.
'Squirrel Girl?' Tabitha blinked. 'I can see the fascination with Susan Richards, but Squirrel Girl? What's up with that?'
'Pretty simple, really...' Roberto began. 'Squirrel Girl is a badass. Who else can say that they have defeated Dr Doom, Thanos, and the Mandarin single-handedly?' (4)
Tabitha gave an impressed nod.
'I see your point. Damn. Now I want to sleep with Squirrel Girl!'
'Yes, we all want to sleep with Squirrel Girl.' Sage sighed. 'Now, can we please get back to the task at hand? Bishop is in trouble and we must rescue him!'
Tabitha looked back at the living computer with big puppy-dog eyes and a quivering lip.
'But... Squirrel Girl...'
Sage rubbed the bridge of her nose. This was going to be a long mission...
TBC...
Next: Deathbird's Revenge- Part 2
Will Sage and the others be able to rescue Bishop in time? Will Tabitha ever get to sleep with Squirrel Girl? What is this weird fascination with Squirrel Girl that I have contracted all of a sudden? Squirrel Girl! Squirrel Girl! Squirrel Girl! Whoooo!
Author's Notes-
(1)- Wow. The first line of the chapter and I've already made a Star Wars reference. Heh.
(2)- Ororo, Logan, and Jubilee are the ones gallivanting around in Canada. As seen in 'Uncanny Wolverine.'
(3)- I was going to say the Scarlet Witch, but, meh, Squirrel Girl sounded better.
(4)- All true. Squirrel Girl did indeed defeat Dr Doom, Thanos, and the Mandarin single-handedly. Okay, perhaps not totally single-handedly. She did have some able assistance from her squirrel friends. But that doesn't mean that she's any less of a badass.
