Disclaimer: Clannad the visual novel is the property of Key and their respective partners. Likewise, Clannad the anime belongs to Key and Kyoto Animation. I'm not making any money with this fanfic.


A few days passed without anything significant happening. Ryou kept asking Nagisa how Tomoya's plan to find Sunohara a fake girlfriend was progressing and how things were between the siblings, but she only got vague, quiet replies how everything was going 'according to the plan' - which was more than enough to tell her that things definitely going like the brunette wanted them to be. Eventually, she became so troubled-looking when she brought up the topic that she stopped asking her about it altogether, figuring she'd need to ask someone else to get some details. However, Tomoya was just as evasive when it came to the topic, and Sunohara looked so out of it that she didn't even bother asking him. In the end, she started growing frustrated on how secretive the trio were. Sure, they were probably thinking of sparing her and the rest of their friends from unnecessary worries by hiding the issues of Youhei and Mei, but Ryou couldn't really find it in herself to appreciate the gesture. She wanted to help them, why couldn't they see that?

The opportunity to find out some details finally presented itself on the next Sunday when she and her sister along with Kotomi were spending time in the town. They had visited a few shops, and were walking down the street, eating ice cream and enjoying the warm summer day. It was Kyou who first spotted them.

"Hey, is that Mei over there?" she said, pointing at the teenage girl on the street. "I can't be sure from the distance, but is that Tomoya she's with?"

"Yes, that's Tomoya-kun," Kotomi recognized the man who had his back turned at them. "I'd know him anywhere. But," she soon added. "I'm not sure of the third person. He's a blonde, maybe it's Sunohara-kun?"

"No," muttered in turn Ryou, eating her ice cream thoughtfully. "That's a different shade of blond. That can't be anyone else than Hiiragi-san." She hadn't seen the man in a few days, their last conversation being on the way to the twins' home a few days back. That day, he had told her that he might be too busy with his work and apartment-hunting for the next few days to come and see her.

"You can't be serious," Kyou muttered, taking a better look at the man. With a frown, she confirmed that it was indeed the man she had ran over a few weeks ago. "What's he doing, talking with Tomoya and Mei?"

"He is friends with Okazaki-kun, after all," her sister reminded her patiently.

"Ryou-chan, Kyou-chan," Kotomi addressed them. "Who are you talking about?" The sisters exchanged glances quickly, apparently both debating whether they should tell the genius about the man. It was Ryou who talked first.

"Come on, Kotomi-chan, I'll introduce you to him," she told her with a smile and began leading her towards the two men and the grade-schooler, with Kyou protesting in the background.

"Whoa, Ryou, are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Trust me, onee-chan." With an assuring smile, she turned to Kotomi. "Don't worry, he's a nice person; I'm sure you'll get along fine. Just remember your introduction."

"Ah, you have such a well-behaved little sister, Tomoya-kun, and she's cute, too. This makes me so jealous; I don't have any siblings at all!" The approaching trio of girls raised their eyebrows in silence as they begun to hear the conversation between them. Tomoya's sister? Surely, he couldn't be that lost.

"I'm telling you, you've misunderstood it, Kappei!"

"Onii-chan, is Mei not good enough to be your little sister?"

"No, that's not-!"

"Tomoya-kun, don't give your sister an inferiority complex! That's not at all like a man should behave!"

"Mei isn't my sister! I'm a single child, too!"

"Huh? But, here she is, calling you onii-chan… You mean she's mistaken you for your brother? Oh man, I'm just confused now…"

"Onii-chan, don't turn Mei away!"

"Hey hey, don't be so cruel on me!"

It seems Kyou couldn't hold herself back any longer. A sound that was a mixture of disbelief, shock, and disgust escaped her lips, causing the three people to finally become aware of their presence. Mei and Kappei looked at the trio - the latter mostly at Ryou - with a happy smile on their face as they recognized their friends. Tomoya, however, looked at them with something akin to horror, and for a good reason: Kyou looked at him as if he was some filth that had crawled out of a sewer, Ryou's eyes were wide as saucers, and Kotomi looked utterly confused.

"You… You guys…" he managed to creak out. "How, how long have you been standing there?"

"We heard Mei-chan calling you onii-chan," Kotomi said in a colourless voice.

"And it didn't seem like you minded it… Oh man…" Kyou continued.

"Oka… Okazaki-kun…" Ryou muttered, not being able to say anything more comprehensible. She recalled that the first time this had happened, she had been about as bothered as her sister, but now she was simply vexed. Is this how you're patching the relationship between Mei-chan and Sunohara-kun?

"No, no, this is just a misunderstanding…" he tried to explain, but the blonde next to him saw this a good opportunity to butt in, destroying his opportunity to explain.

"Hello, Ryou-san, Kyou-nee-san - imagine meeting you here! It was big enough of a surprise to even run into Tomoya-kun and her little sister, and now even you guys! This is proving to be a really great day." It was not a surprise Ryou hadn't recognized the blonde immediately. The old teal, long-sleeved vest the man had been wearing all the time was now nowhere to be seen. Instead, he wore a light yellow t-shirt along with old jeans and sneakers. She stared in surprise at the blonde's form. Sure, she had always known that he had a lean body, but what she saw now was more than that; the slimness in his arms and torso went to the border of underweight. There were traces of toned muscles, but most of their mass had already vanished, leaving behind only hints that he had at some point exercised quite a deal. If she had to guess, she'd say the blonde had either been starving or struck with an illness that had burned most of his fat and muscles away.

"Hiiragi-san," she greeted her with a small nod, breaking out of her reverie. Now was not the time for something like this. "Nice to see you, too. I'm sorry, but right now I have something urgent to talk with Okazaki-kun about - I'll talk with you in a while," she couldn't help the slightly cold tone in her voice as she spoke, and from the corner of her eye, she could see how Tomoya flinched slightly. I've worried myself sick over what you have been doing, and I find you spending time in a town with Mei-chan? "In the meantime, I'd like you to introduce yourself to a friend of mine. I'd like you to be her friend too, if possible." Kappei, however, didn't either detect or care about the slight undertone in her voice as she brushed past him, giving her a smile and a nod.

"Sure thing. Hello, my name is Hiiragi Kappei…" the blonde's voice trailed off as she walked a little distance from the rest of her friends, motioning the delinquent to follow. He complied hesitantly.

"Really, Fujibayashi," he spoke up. "The whole thing's a big misunderstanding. I made a joke of how great sister Mei was, and then she sort of adopted me as her big brother, calling me, well, you heard her… But, it's really no-"

"Okazaki-kun," she spoke in a steady tone, the edge in her tone clear for him to hear. "You're supposed to be helping Sunohara-kun and Mei-chan sort out their problems. Why do I find you here, spending time with Mei-chan, her calling you onii-chan like you were some paedophile seducing a grade-schooler?" The man could only stare at her, horror and shock written all over his face. She didn't care. Right now, she was too angry to even try hiding her frustration. For a long while, neither spoke a word. Ryou could hear how Kotomi and Kappei exchanged greetings merrily in the background.

"It… Didn't exactly go as we hoped for," he muttered eventually, casting his eyes down. "Finding him a fake girlfriend and easing Mei's mind, that is. She became even more worried, not to mention suspicious." Sighing deeply, the delinquent put his hands in his pockets and looked the other way. "Besides, it turned out Sunohara is an even bigger idiot than I thought him to be. He's head over heels over Sanae, not seeing how Mei's worried sick about him - no, refusing to see it. So, she tried to put him straight with shock treatment, telling that she had come here to see her boyfriend who was much older than her. Of course, there's no such person," he added swiftly upon seeing her shocked expression. "But, even that failed. He just sat still in his room after hearing that, even though he should've rushed after her sister." Tomoya's expression darkened and he added in a low tone: "That's inexcusable, really."

"I went out with Mei today to make her feel a little more relaxed," he explained, glancing at the teenager who was chatting with Kyou, Kotomi, and Kappei. "She's really strong, but all this stress must be building up on her. I really wouldn't want her to snap under the pressure." Ryou inspected the man with her gaze a little longer, but eventually cast her eyes downwards.

"I see," she muttered, all the anger and frustration in her voice gone as she begun to grasp the situation, all the incomplete details and fractures of memories beginning to fall in place. "I'm sorry I doubted you, Okazaki-kun - I spoke without knowing how things really were." Tomoya made a dismissing gesture to indicate it was okay, but didn't say anything. Ryou, too, fell silent and for a long while, neither spoke a word. Was the situation really this desperate the first time, too?

"What…" she said eventually. "What are you planning to do now?" The man didn't respond immediately.

"I was thinking that I'd continue with the shock treatment. Sunohara usually hangs out around here when he has free time - with luck, he might bump into me and Mei. To see her hanging around with a bum like me might be enough of a shake to bring him back into reality." He sighed. "At least I hope so."

"What if that won't work out?" Ryou couldn't help doubting his plan. She didn't dare to voice it out loud, but she had a hunch that the blonde wouldn't take action exactly because it was him - the friendship between the two delinquents, at least from what she had seen, was so strong that he might even accept the fact that Mei was on very friendly terms with him.

"Then I'll just have to beat him up until he takes his head out of his ass and takes a good look around him," he snarled, clenching his fist. She instinctively took a step backwards from the delinquent and his sudden display of hostility. She hadn't really remembered up until now how good he was at suppressing his feelings; Apparently, Sunohara's disregard about his sister worried him a great deal more than he let show.

"Okazaki-kun, please try to sort things out without violence," she pleaded, even though her memory told her that the request would be futile. She remembered well enough the day when Tomoya and Youhei had come to school all beat up, later on learning that even though most of their injuries had been obtained fighting with the soccer club, some of them the two had inflicted upon each other. With things being like he described, she didn't think there'd be a peaceful solution to the situation this time, either. Why do men always insist on sorting things out with their fists?

"Don't worry about it, Fujibayashi," he told her, shaking his head. "I'll do my best to talk some sense into him, but if it comes to fighting, none of you guys should be involved. In fact, it'd be best if you didn't worry about this any further - no offence, but it's hard enough with Nagisa and Mei. I'm already worried about them as it is." Even though some part of her stubbornly wanted to protest that she wanted to help just as much as he did, a more rational part of her reminded her that it was like Tomoya said - there really was nothing she or her sister could do.

"Just… Just don't overdo it," she muttered eventually, succumbing to his will. "And make sure Nagisa-chan and Mei-chan will be okay. You're up against the soccer club, after all." The delinquent shot her a surprised glance, and she realized she had blurted out something she shouldn't have in her haste.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryou swallowed nervously and scolded herself silently. Apparently, Tomoya and Mei hadn't yet planned to go to talk to the soccer club - the details had never been that clear to her, and it seemed that particular idea's time hadn't yet come.

"Nothing, nothing at all," she said, gesturing dismissively and hoping he wouldn't think too much about her blunder. "But really, if you're planning to shock Sunohara-kun, you'd best do it without us around. Why don't you and Mei-chan continue with your walk?" Judging from the look he was giving her, he obviously knew she was trying to change the subject. Fortunately, his suspicion died down soon, and he sighed as he straightened himself.

"You're right, we'd best continue. I trust you'll explain how things really were to Kotomi and Kyou - it was a really embarrassing hassle." Ryou nodded, and a minute later Tomoya and Mei set off to an opposite direction, leaving the trio of girls plus one man standing still on the street. Looking at her friends, she noticed that Kappei was enthusiastically explaining to the girl genius just what the 'life befitting for a man' he was seeking out exactly included, with Kyou looking at the two with an expression that told she was torn between running away and clubbing the blonde's lights out. The sisters' eyes met, and Ryou wordlessly gestured her to come to her.

"What was all that about? What did you talk about with Tomoya?" she promptly asked, and Ryou gave her a summary of the discussion she had had with him. She sported a pained expression after she had finished. "That really doesn't sound good. God, Youhei is such an idiot! Makes me want to go and kick his ass right now!"

"We really shouldn't get ourselves involved, onee-chan," she said. "The whole situation is really messy as it is - we'd only make things worse, I think."

"So you say," she grumbled, shooting her a vexed glance. "But after hearing all that, it pains to me to just sit still and watch, you know."

"I know, onee-chan, I know," she chorused. "I feel the same, but it's just that…" Not finding the right words to properly express herself and soothe her sister, she could only settle with an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly, the atmosphere was broken as Kappei stepped next to them, Kotomi following him suite.

"Hey, you shouldn't hold a secret conversation when you're out in a larger group," he scolded the twins playfully. "Besides, you both look really gloomy. Cheer up a little bit, will you? Oh, I know!" he said, hitting his palm with his fist, unbothered by the stare Kyou shot him. "I know a good café where you can get chicken salad good enough to kill for! Kotomi-chan said you haven't had lunch yet, so how about we head there?" The twins exchanged glances, uncertain of how to handle the sudden change in the atmosphere and whether to accept his invitation or not. Again, it was the younger twin who spoke up first.

"I'd… I'd like that, Hiiragi-san," she agreed, thinking back to how long it had been since she had eaten breakfast. This time her sister seemed to comply with her, because she nodded wordlessly. "Please, take us there."

"Sure!" he said, beaming in his usual manner as he set off towards the town centre. "Just follow me, it's not far! Oh, and I'm not treating - I spent most of my money on the rent and new clothes, so my wallet isn't feeling all that well."

"You should fast, then," Kyou remarked sharply. "Just so you can treat us ladies. You're planning to let the women pay for themselves? Tch, and you call yourself a man?"

"Don't put it like that!" the blonde whined loudly with a pained look on his face. "I'm really hungry, you know…"

As Ryou listened to the spirited discussion of her friends, she could feel how her worries gradually faded into the background and how her mood raised considerably. A voice in the back of her mind noted her that she should be worrying about the Sunohara siblings, but she couldn't help it. Soon, the only thing in her mind was the afternoon she'd be spending with Kyou, Kotomi, and Kappei.


"Wow, they're really getting at it," Kyou commented off-headedly as she looked down on the soccer yard and the two shapes that were wrestling on the ground. It was late afternoon already, way past the time when students normally left for home, but the Fujibayashi sisters had stayed behind, observing what was happening on the yard from one of the classrooms. They had witnessed with unease how Tomoya, Nagisa, and Mei had been helping the soccer club with their practice, unwavering in their plight even as it had become obvious that the club was simply toying with their newly acquired ball boys - Kyou had been about to rush down at the yard as she had seen how Mei had been hit by a stray ball, but her sister had practically begged her not to interfere. According to her memories, everything was happening like it was supposed to, and the solution to the situation was just around the corner.

Accurately enough, when the gruelling practice was over and the trio had made their way back to the soccer club's clubroom, they had soon seen how Sunohara had rushed there, and shortly thereafter a fight had broken out between the blonde and the club, Tomoya joining in the fray as well. From that point on, it had been only little more than a brawl, with the two delinquents facing off against several members of the soccer club. Ryou had seen how Nagisa and Mei sported horrified expressions and how they did their best to get the fighting to stop, but to no avail. She, herself, had to turn her gaze away, not being able to witness the scene, whereas her sister was loudly cheering the two delinquents to 'kick the ass of the whole soccer club'.

Ultimately, however, the two delinquents had been left lying on the ground of the yard, their bodies covered with bruises and dirt as they were being soaked by the heavy rainfall that had started during the fight. As vigorously as the two had fought, they were no match against several soccer players, even though they had left the scene limping and equally beat up, too - Kyou had vowed that she'd 'accidentally' kick the fleeing soccer club members in their sore spots tomorrow.

"Why are they still doing it?" Ryou questioned in a pained voice, gazing upon her friends on the yard. "They're all beat up, and yet they're still fighting - and each other, no less. They're friends, aren't they?" She winced involuntarily as Tomoya landed a particularly hard blow on Sunohara. She gripped the hem of her skirt tightly, trying to hold herself from crying. "Why?"

"That's just how guys are, I think," Kyou muttered, distaste evident in her voice, too. "At some point or another, they just have to let it out and let their muscles do the talking." She raised her eyebrows in surprise as the blonde managed to topple the raven-haired man, pressing him on the ground and pounding him in the gut sharply. "I can't hear what they're yelling, but they're probably sorting out their issues right now. Like I said, that's just how all of the guys are," she repeated, sighing in frustration. "So stupid." Absently, Ryou imagined Kappei down on the yard, beating Tomoya up while yelling some masculine lines about being a proper man, but soon cleared her head of the image.

There's no way that would happen, she stated determinedly before she frowned slightly. And why am I imagining him as an example, anyway?

"Well, it seems it's over now," her sister noted, bringing Ryou back on the ground. Looking down, she could see how the two delinquents had come apart and how Sunohara was being hugged by her sister. "Looks pretty final to me. Do you remember there being anything more, Ryou?" Searching through her memories, she tried to think of something she had initially missed, but shook her head as she found nothing.

"No, Nagisa-chan didn't tell me of anything else. This should be it." The long-haired twin stood up.

"Good, then I'm going home," she said bluntly.

"Onee-chan," she began, about to call her to wait for her, but swallowed the rest of her words a moment later. She was well aware that her sister had never liked the idea of not interfering with the issues of the Sunohara siblings, and her dissatisfaction had only grown upon seeing the events unfurl. She, herself, had been deeply troubled all along, but because she hadn't been able to think of a good way to improve the situation, she had succumbed to letting the things happen on their own weight. Kyou's nature, on the other hand, just couldn't let her do something like that, and she knew that she must've been fighting against herself the whole time. It'd be best to let her have some time for herself right now.

"See you home," she concluded meekly, realizing that her tone of voice made the words sounds more like 'I'm sorry'. Kyou halted and let out a deep sigh, but didn't turn to see her.

"Yeah, see you," she said, apology evident in her voice as well as she left the classroom. For several minutes, Ryou didn't make a move to follow after her, choosing to stay behind instead - her sister wasn't the only one who could use time alone.

It's so hard, she thought quietly as she gazed into the rain outside. It's so hard to just stand by and watch, I know that well enough. But, there are things that I just can't change - I'll have to pass on those and concentrate on the things that I can change. But I don't know if onee-chan can keep up with this. As painful as it was to admit, even with Kyou helping her, she hadn't actually achieved anything yet. Nagisa's time was running out; Soon would be the time when her illness would kick in again, bed-ridding her for the rest of her senior year, and she couldn't see how they could prevent that from happening. From that point on, she would start working on identifying her disease and devote her time to curing her, but it would get only worse for her sister: She would be powerless, unable to do anything but watch how the feverish Nagisa would miss out another year of her life.

I went through that once already, she thought bitterly. I know how painful it will be. She shook her head slightly, grimacing. Witnessing it would no doubt hamper Kyou's life, interfering with her studies and plans for the future. She, herself, had nothing to worry about; she remembered all the exams she would have well enough to pass them easily, but her sister was a different matter altogether. She wanted her to have as good and bright future as she had had in the future.

If possible, she thought quietly as she left the classroom. I'd like her to stop thinking about it altogether. Onee-chan has her own life to worry about. If it comes to that, I will manage on my own. I must manage on my own.

Deep inside, however, she wasn't feeling very confident about that.


The rain ceased slightly as she made her way home. It was no longer violent, whipping downpour, but instead steady and thick, the one you'd picture when thinking of a refreshing summer rain that gives plants and flowers the much-needed drink between days of harsh heat. As such, Fujibayashi Ryou was not in a hurry as she walked in a leisurely pace, enjoying the soothing and hypnotic sound of raindrops hitting her umbrella. Even though she was still slightly down from today's events, she was strangely feeling better than before.

It was then she spotted him. He was sitting on a bench in a nearby park, completely exposed to the rain that fell from the grey sky. His clothes, soaked from head to toe, pressed against his slender frame and dripped water on the ground under him. Despite all this, he was leaning backwards in a relaxed position, and his face had morphed into a blissful smile as he looked up on the sky with his eyes closed.

"H-Hiiragi-san?" she blurted out, rushing to his side before she knew what she was doing. "What are you doing here? Look at you, you're completely soaked! Are you hurt and can't walk home?" The man opened his eyes and turned to look at her slowly, so slowly that Ryou thought he might've hit his head or something similar. However, when she saw how his face brightened and that familiar optimistic look returned in his eyes, she realized that wasn't the case.

"Hello, Ryou-san. Ah, to meet you here - now my day is absolutely perfect!" he said with a dreamy sigh, chuckling softly. "I know this might seem a bit odd to you, sitting here in the rain, but this is to celebrate a new beginning in my life - and to reminisce on all the days I've spent on the road."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, stepping a little closer and extending the umbrella so that both of them were under its cover. "What do you mean with a new beginning? And how is sitting in the rain going to help you reminisce?" Kappei laughed heartily.

"I got myself an apartment today!" he exclaimed. "A really nice place, and the rent isn't too bad, either. Now that I have a roof upon my head, I don't need to sleep outside in the rain any longer. So, I thought it'd be nice to come out here willingly for the last time." Ryou blinked in surprise. He had been sleeping outside during his travels? In a rain such as this? Had the blonde not continued so swiftly, she would've expressed how shocked she was. "But, now that I think about it," Kappei muttered. "It actually feels quite nice, to have the rain fall on your face… There's something really relaxing about it, don't you think so, Ryou-san?"

"I, I wouldn't know," she stuttered, surprised by the sudden question. "But, I find the sound of raindrops on an umbrella when you walk to be quite nice," she said before she could help herself. Where did that come from? The only thing she could think of was that the man's straight-forward way of speech was rubbing off on her.

"Yeah, that's true," he responded with a smile. "But you ought to try this out, too - once you get used to cold, it's very refreshing." Ryou stared at him for a while before shaking her head slightly. The conversation was certainly going nowhere.

"A-anyway," she said, trying to direct the conversation back on sensible trail. "It's great to hear you've got yourself a place to say. Is it close-by?" Kappei scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Hmm, it's about half a dozen blocks from Nagisa-chan's and Tomoya-kun's place towards the town centre." She stared at the blonde, not believing her ears.

"But, that's at least two miles from here!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you choose to sit on a bench closer to your place? You're going to catch a cold before you get back there." The man scratched his cheek, blushing slightly.

"Maybe, but this place is special," he countered, spreading his arms at the small park. "Don't you recognize it?" She looked around and was able to tell that yes, the place was indeed familiar; She had definitely been here lately, but what had she done here? Seeing her confused expression, the blonde decided to elaborate. "Here you told me we could be friends, Ryou-san," he spoke softly. "This place is really important to me."

Before she could help it, the timid Fujibayashi had already turned bright scarlet and turned her face the other way. Again, the blonde had taken her by surprise; she had been completely unprepared to hear something like that.

"Is, is that so," she muttered weakly, desperately trying to get her blushing under control as she tried to whip up a good response. "It-it's nice to hear you think so highly of me, but…" But what? The word had left her lips unwilled, and now that she tried to think of a good continuation, nothing came to her mind. 'But it's not really that much of a big deal'? It obviously was, to him. 'But I'm not really all that great'? That had only caused him to go into lengthy defence why she actually was that great, it would probably be no different now. 'But you're supposed to be just my friend'? And it was forbidden of a friend to say things like that? In the end, Ryou settled with a short, all-around answer.

"T-thank you, Hiiragi-san." Judging by the smile that lit his face as she said that, she had chosen the best possible answer. Strangely enough, saying that made her feel much more at ease as well, and she managed to will most of her blushing down.

"Hey, would you like to come with me to get something to eat?" he proposed. "I know a good place, and it's not too far away."

"Certainly," she agreed after determining that she'd probably have time for a quick snack before Kyou and her parents would get worried. Besides, she hadn't talked with Kappei in a few days - it'd be nice to socialize with him a bit more before heading home. "Lead the way."

"Great," he said with a nod, pulling an umbrella out from under his vest. "I'll just set this up and we can go." Ryou felt a twitch on her forehead.

"You had that with you the whole time?"


"Ramen?" she spoke her thoughts out loud as they arrived in front of the small stand.

"You don't like it?" he asked with a worried tone in his voice, but she shook her head and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Oh, no, it's not like that. It just has been a while since I've last eaten it - it's rather heavy on stomach, after all. But, I suppose I might like it again after such a long while." Kappei looked like he was still about to say something, but Ryou had already stepped inside the stand and seated herself, forcing him to follow suite without another word. Soon enough, the two were chatting friendly with bowls of steaming ramen in front of them. Kappei filled her in on how he had been looking through apartments for the last few days - she was shocked to learn the number, and amazed by his willpower to go through all of them - and enthusiastically explained what his first few days in work had been like. Judging by his words, she was able to tell that the work in the rehabilitation ward really suited him - his natural optimism and willpower must've had a tremendous positive impact on the patients.

"Did you have much experience with hospitals before you sought out the job? I mean, you seem to know awfully lot about how things work in there," she pointed out at some point, and was surprised to see how the man flinched, instantly perking up her curiosity. "Hiiragi-san?"

"Ha-ha, something like that," the man replied with a nervous laugh, scratching his neck. "Yeah, I had this illness that kept me hospitalized for rather long when I was a kid. I usually don't tell people about it, it's not something I like to think back to." Ryou tilted her head to the side as she inspected the man with her gaze. There was definitely something he was letting out, but he sounded too bothered by it for her to start asking around. Pushing the discovery to the back of her mind, she continued with another topic, telling the man a summarized and cut version of what had been happening during the time he had been hunting for an apartment, concentrating mostly on Nagisa's and Tomoya's doings, whom he knew. The conversation carried on itself after that, and soon the two found themselves staring at empty bowls. Realizing how much time had passed, she noted that she must be on her way home soon, and he volunteered to walk with her until their roads separated. However, when they set foot outside the ramen stand, the blonde drew sharply breath, his face contorting with pain.

"Hiiragi-san?" she asked in a worried tone, but the man waved his hand dismissively.

"Ah, it's alright. It's my stomach that's acting up, that's all. Ramen really is hard on the stomach after all, hehe," he said with a weak laugh, even though he was obviously in pain.

"Should we go to the health centre?" she suggested, but he sharply shook his head.

"It's alright," he repeated, digging through his pockets. "I have medicine with me." Pulling out a small, brown jar, Kappei quickly opened it and took a single pill from it, stuffing the container back in his pocket too fast for Ryou to see what read on it. Her eyes widened slightly when the man put the pill in his mouth, swallowing it with ease.

"You're used to it," she muttered. Normally, it'd take a long treatment with a daily dose of multiple pills to get so used to medicine one could swallow them without any water. The man gave her a small, bitter smile.

"Yeah, a little, but I still had some saliva in my mouth, so it was mostly thanks to it. Could we sit down for a while and wait until it starts effecting? It shouldn't take more than five minutes, I promise," silently, Ryou debated that it'd take at least half an hour for even the swiftest medicine to work - if the pill had indeed been for gastric ulcer, like she wagered. She couldn't think of any other stomach related pains that could be so strong. Nonetheless, she complied, and the two sat on a nearby bench, waiting for Kappei's pains to diminish. Fortunately, it had stopped raining altogether.

"I'm sorry about that," he said, breathing deeply. "I thought I had already managed to beat this, but it seems it won't leave me that easily."

"Is it the same illness you were hospitalized for?" she asked cautiously, earning a pained smile from him.

"Yeah, the very same." With that, Ryou fell silent for a long while, not wanting to offend his privacy by asking him more about his illness when he seemed so uncomfortable talking about it. He was out of the hospital and had been given medicine for sudden pains, so she had to trust that the illness was under control. Kappei, too, was silent for a lengthy while, his breathing becoming more at ease as the medicine began to kick in.

"Hey, Ryou-san, may I ask you something?" he asked suddenly, his musing, dreamy tone creating sharp contrast to the events a few moments back. Had the medicine been that strong, or was this just another display of his amazingly fast recovery rate? "It's… Something a bit personal, so I hope you don't mind…" The Fujibayashi hesitated for a split second, but soon gave him a small smile.

"Yes, you may," she told him trustfully, but soon added: "I'll try to answer it - as long as I'm comfortable with it, that is. Anyway, just asking won't hurt, so go ahead." He gave her a sideways glance, his eyes looking a little troubled. Then, with a slight blush, eyes turned upwards on the sky, he began.

"I've been wondering about it for a while now," he spoke hesitantly. "But back when we talked, about, well…" his blush gained a deeper shade. "Well, when you rejected me." Now, it was Ryou's turn to blush and look away, almost telling him to stop as the embarrassment and anxiety washed over her before she steeled herself. She had told him he could ask, right? "M-may I continue?" he asked, seeing her discomfort. She gave a weak, wordless nod, and the man pressed on.

"Back then, you told me that there was something you had devoted yourself to so deeply that you couldn't even consider getting a… Well…" Kappei's words trailed off, and he continued after a moment of silence. "Well, that you couldn't return my feelings. E-ever since, I've been wondering… What is it you've dedicated yourself so fully to?" She didn't answer for a while, not even when she felt the man turning his eyes on her. Of course, it was only natural of him to ask why he had been rejected, and Ryou realized that it was only fair to give him an honest answer.

The problem was: What was the exact reason? Silently, gazing up towards the dissipating clouds, she weighed her answer in her mind.

Of course, the first and foremost answer was Tomoya's happiness and Nagisa's survival - those two things equalled each other, really. However, the top-most thing on her mind right now was identifying Nagisa's mysterious illness and finding a cure to it, so her answer might've as well been that, too. On the other hand, her activities these past few weeks spoke of her dedication to the drama club and its success, as well as helping all of her friends get their lives in order. Then again, she had been thinking just a few hours ago how she'd ensure that her sister would have as bright future as possible ahead of her…

Shaking her head mentally, Ryou tried to sort out her jumbled thoughts. It was really hard to give one single answer, and for a brief while, she considered telling Kappei she couldn't give a clear response on such short notice. Suddenly, however, the answer came to her.

"My friends," she spoke without thinking, turning to look at the man next to her. All of the blushing and anxiety was gone now; thinking of her goal had cleared all those confusing thoughts from her mind. "I've dedicated myself for the welfare of my friends. They all have some sorts of problems, and I strongly believe they have many hardships ahead of them, especially Okazaki-kun and Nagisa-chan," she added vaguely. "Hardships that might be impossible for them to overcome on their own… I'd like to help them with that, to make sure that they have a happy future ahead of them. Yes, that's what I've devoted myself to," she finished with a determined smile and a nod. Hiiragi Kappei stared at her with a surprised expression, and Ryou suddenly had a déjà-vu of a dumb-founded Sunohara in front of her, soon beginning to yell about wasting her life for the sake of others. This time, however, this blonde's expression turned into something she could identify only as moved.

"Tha-that's amazing, Ryou-san!" he exclaimed, eyes glistening with tears. Hastily, he wiped the corners of his eyes with his sleeve. "I knew my faith in your determination wasn't lost! That's a really amazing goal, nothing short I'd expect from you!" She blinked a few times in surprise, taken aback by his reaction. Then, slowly, her mouth curved all on its own into a delighted smile as a warm feeling began to spread all over her body. No one, not even Kyou, had ever given her such a heart-felt, honest praise.

"T-thank you very much, Hiiragi-san," she said, giving him a polite bow. Suddenly, the man grasped both of her hands into her own, causing an involuntary yelp to escape her lips. Kappei's slim fingers were warm and held her own surprisingly firmly, but the grip was not strong enough to cause her pain. Before she could ask what he was doing, the man leaned a little closer, nailing her eyes with his own. On such close distance, she could see how awe and enthusiasm practically shone off the yellowish brown orbs. "Hi-Hiiragi-san, what are you…" she tried, blushing.

"Please, let me help you, Ryou-san!" Her mind was wiped blank, and she could only stare into his eyes with a confused expression.

"W-what?"

"Let me help you help them," he said enthusiastically. "I was so moved by your speech that I can't help wanting to aid your friends, too, Tomoya-kun and Nagisa-chan in particular! Both they and you have done so much to help me; This is finally the opportunity to pay back my debt like a man!" Was he really serious? No, Kappei simply couldn't lie about his feelings, she knew that much already even without looking into his eyes; He was practically burning with the idea! Slowly, the full effect of his words began to sink in, and Ryou could feel how something cold got a hold of her stomach.

No, Ryou thought silently, doing her best not to let her horror show. You don't know what you're hoping for. Her mind began working on a feverish rate as she tried to think of the best possible way to make him forget the idea; his head had to be turned by any means necessary. He didn't know what a heavy and painful burden he was about to take on his shoulders. Even her own sister had trouble handling it, and someone as cheerful and gentle as Kappei would be no doubt crushed under its weight! She had to stop him!

"No," she told him bluntly as she withdrew her hands from his grip. Almost instantly, his enthusiastic expression morphed into that painfully honest puzzled one so characteristic to him.

"Why not?" She felt a sharp stab in her heart, so broken and disappointed his voice sounded. Never before, not even when she had rejected him had he used this kind of tone. Why now? "I promise I won't become a hindrance, Ryou-san," he pleaded, and she could feel her confidence wavering.

"N-no, that's not it!" she exclaimed, raising the volume of her voice unintentionally. "You, you wouldn't be a hindrance, I'm sure of that. I can see how you'd put all of your strength and willpower into it, becoming really enthusiastic about it and not taking one step back… And I can picture how you would even make some poetic statements of it…" Her voice became fainter and fainter, eventually fading into silence as she became aware of what she was saying. No, this isn't the time to praise him! You mustn't picture him helping you, you have to reject him! Swallowing uneasily, she added: Again. However, it seemed that the connection between her brain and her mouth was severely crippled.

"No, like I said, I…" Her thought out words vanished from her head as she tried to speak them out loud. Stammering, she continued talking without thinking of her words. "It's… It's not that I don't want your help," she said, scolding herself as she saw how hope began to live in Kappei's eyes. This isn't going too well. She tried to pull herself straight, to tell him as strictly as possible to forget the idea, tell him that she didn't need his help, that she could manage on her own. However, each time she opened her mouth, trying to force those words out, the sight of him caused her to hesitate and remain silent - there was no way she could lie to him, to someone who could sport such an honest expression! For a lengthy while, she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, until she finally fell silent, casting her eyes on the ground.

"It's… It's just not as easy as you think," Ryou eventually muttered, finally coming to terms with herself - she had to tell him the truth. The blonde could probably clearly hear the sorrow over-lapping her voice, but she couldn't help herself. Even though he would no doubt feel even more sympathetic about her, she couldn't hide the feelings in her voice no matter how she tried. From the corner of her eye, she could see how Kappei's hand twitched - apparently unintentionally - towards her before he pulled his arm back. Had he thought of reaching for her? "It's actually really hard and really painful," she nonetheless continued, sighing.

"Sometimes, you have no other choice but to stand still and watch how your friends are getting hurt - or worse still, how they hurt each other… All the time hoping, praying that they'd come to you and ask for your help, that they wouldn't stubbornly keep their problems for themselves." Absently, she wrapped her hands around herself, trying to hold herself from shaking. How long had it been since she had actually spoken her thoughts out loud? "And, sometimes the only thing you can do is to lie to them, deceit them so that they'd think everything was okay even though things really aren't and you're hurting all over and…" Ryou let out a wavering breath, trying to ignore the tightness in her throat. Get your act straight, Ryou! This is not the time to fall apart!

"All the more reason to get someone to help you!" Kappei argued, his voice desperate. This time, he actually inched closer to her. "If it's that painful, let me help you with it! I can see that you're strong, Ryou-san, but that's too much for even you to carry! Let me help you!"

"No," she repeated, her voice on the verge of breaking. It doesn't matter how many people are helping me, it won't get any easier. It will only make you feel tormented, like onee-chan. Tears burned in her eyes, begging to be released, but she held herself firm. Why must you be so determined about this? "No, you mustn't worry yourself with this. This is my burden; I'm meant to carry this all by myself. I shouldn't get anyone else involved." I shouldn't have gotten even onee-chan involved. "Your own life is far more important than this."

"Ryou-san," Kappei spoke, and the tone of his voice caused her to turn her face at him. There it was again, that deep undercurrent in his voice: The one that spoke of something deadly heavy he was hiding behind his cheerful mask. This time she could even see traces of it on his face, his expression laced with sorrow so deep she would've never expected to see on his visage. He seemed to realize this, too, because he turned his gaze up on the sky. His voice, however, remained just as pained as he spoke.

"I don't… I don't really have a goal in my life. After coming here, I've always had something I've tried to achieve: Finding you, getting a job, getting myself an apartment... But, now that I've gotten all those, I'm again left with nothing." There was a sad smile on his face as he turned his gaze back on her eyes. "A life without a goal, without a dream is really worth nothing. No matter what you say, I know my life doesn't have any importance as it is." The emotions in his eyes were so naked that it hurt to look at them. She could feel how her tears began rolling down, leaving hot trails on her cheeks.

"Please, Ryou-san, let me help you," he repeated, tears glistening in his eyes as well. "No matter how much of a burden it is, I want to do this. I choose to do this." Kappei bowed his head low and with a voice barely above a whisper, he added. "Don't let me have any regrets."

She couldn't think of anything. She couldn't say anything. Ryou's mind was flooded with the memories of the time she had met Tomoya in the hospital after he had lost her daughter, and she recalled the emotions that had surged through her: Sorrow, pain, regret, weakness. Even her eyes were playing tricks on her, so strong were those memories; in place of Hiiragi Kappei stood Fujibayashi Ryou, her head bowed just as low, tears falling down from her eyes in a similar fashion, her voice laced with the same sorrowful determination as the blonde's as she begged to be granted the chance to help her friends.

She couldn't understand how she could feel so over-joyed and so pained at the same time.

No longer thinking of the consequences, the arguments, the logic, she leaned towards the man. Her heart knew what she wanted. Her heart knew what she needed. Placing her hands on his shoulders, searching for support, she pressed her forehead against the back of his head.

"Help me, Kappei-san," she whispered between the tears that fell from her eyes. "Please, help me."

At that moment, Fujibayashi Ryou felt like she had just gained something sweet and pleasant, something that filled her entire body with warmth and sense of rightness. So over-whelming the sensation was that she could barely register the feeling of losing something very, very precious.


It was way past sunset by the time Ryou finally arrived home, spending a good time fumbling with the lock of the front door and almost stumbling when she took her shoes off.

"I'm home," she called out in an absent voice, not realizing how dark the house was at first. Likewise, had she paid a little more attention to her surroundings, she would've no doubt detected the strange, ominous atmosphere. Not even when her sister descended from upstairs did she realize that something was definitely off.

"Mom and dad went outside," Kyou told her in a strange, withdrawn tone. "Dinner with colleagues or something like that. They said they'd be back before midnight."

"I see," she muttered in a dreamy tone, humming quietly. "That's nice." The long-haired twin tilted her head to the side, staring her incredulously as it became obvious that she wasn't even listening.

"Ryou, you're not drunk, are you?"

"Of course not, onee-chan!" she protested with a giggle, smiling at her twin as she brushed past her to the upstairs.

"That's what drunk people always say," she retorted, following her. "You know it's illegal for us minors to drink, right? I would've never thought you so bold…"

"I'm not drunk," she repeated as she put down her school bag and began taking off her uniform. "I just…" Her words trailed into silence as she thought about it. In all honesty, intoxicated was probably the most accurate word she could describe herself with at the moment, even though even that was insufficient. The flood of emotions she had experienced after granting Kappei his wish to help her had left her reeling for better part of a minute, and their aftermath had dulled her senses and filled her with profound, over-whelming dizziness and warmth - never had any alcohol given her a similar feeling.

"I just talked with Kappei-san a little," she explained with a warm smile. A troubled look flashed over Kyou's face and she squinted her eyes briefly, as if trying to remember something. Then her eyes flew open and her expression turned into a mixture of shock and anger.

"Don't tell me he got you drunk? Ryou, don't you realize what-!"

"No, no, nothing like that," she soothed her. "There really wasn't any alcohol involved. Besides, Kappei-san isn't that kind of person. We just talked, really." The long-haired calmed down a little, but a reserved remained in her eyes.

"So he's Kappei-san now," she said, arching up an eyebrow. "Nice going, Ryou." Ryou blushed as she realized what the change must've sounded like. However, it wasn't like she could explain it properly: Calling Kappei by his first name felt nothing short of natural, not to mention right now. "So, what did you two talk about?" Despite her obvious reservation, Kyou couldn't hide the curious tone in her voice, nor the budding excitement that came along with her next words. "Don't tell me you've grown fond of him and are considering of taking him as your boyfriend!"

"N-no, no!" she denied, feeling how her heart began beating faster and how her face heated up. "I, I couldn't do something like that, couldn't take something that'd be in the way of my goal. Nothing's changed since I first told you that," she explained with a determined nod, vigorously trying to get her heartbeat under control as she began to elaborate. However, she was so absorbed in it that she couldn't see the troubled expression on her sister's face.

"We, we just talked a little about my goal, and I told him what I want to achieve - leaving all the details out, of course. I really expected him to react like Sunohara-kun when I first told him about it: Telling me that I'm sacrificing myself and trying to talk me out of it - you remember when I told you about this, right? - but turned out I was wrong." Her eyes became slightly shrouded as she stared into the distance. Again, she could feel how her senses became muffled as she thought back to the discussion. Because of it, she couldn't see how Kyou's expression gradually became darker. "He was moved to tears and he deeply praised me - I couldn't really believe my ears. Then - I suppose I should've seen it coming - he asked if he could help me, even though he has no idea what a burden this is. I tried to explain him, tried to talk him out of it, because I know it's hard for even you to carry, onee-chan…" Ryou's voice was becoming thicker. Coughing a few times, she soon continued with a steadier voice. "But he just kept asking me, begging me to let me help him." She turned to her sister, whose face spoke of deep, deep unease.

"I just couldn't say no after hearing all that. Onee-chan, I'm sorry for doing this without letting you know first, but I know that you've been in pain as you've tried to help me - this way, you should have some time for yourself as well. With Kappei-san and you helping me, I'm sure we're able to divide the workload a lot, and…"

"Ryou," she spoke, her distant, confused voice finally alerting Ryou enough to pull her out of her euphoric reverie. "I'm sorry," she said with an awkward smile, turning her gaze away. "I've been really forgetful all this evening… I'm having trouble understanding what you're saying."

"…Onee-chan?" If she had been in cloud nine a heartbeat ago, she was now freefalling towards the ground.

"I… I can't shake off the feeling that I've forgotten something important," she mumbled. "Something about you, Ryou… Something really important about you…" On instinct, Ryou grasped the shoulder of her older sister. Forget ground, she was headed straight for the bottomless pit of despair.

"Onee-chan, please don't tell me such a cruel joke," she pleaded, her voice trembling. "I… Even I can't take such a joke in good stride, you know…" She was expecting her sister to turn to look at her any second now, smiling in her mischievous manner telling that she was just kidding. When she kept avoiding her eyes, however, she could feel how panic was spreading all over her body. "You remember, right? That day, when we discovered that Okazaki-kun had eyes only for Nagisa-chan, I told you why I had been acting so strange for the past month. I told you what I was here for, what I had devoted myself to, how things would end up like if we didn't do anything, what we would be like when we grow up… You remember, don't you, onee-chan?" she rambled, trying to desperately evoke her sister's memories. However, Kyou's expression only became more bothered and she squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to recall her memories so that she could give her sister a positive answer. When she opened her eyes again and she saw the deep sadness over-lapping her amethyst orbs, Ryou could feel how the colour drained off her face, and she tried to hold herself from shaking.

She can't remember anything.

"I'm… I'm sorry Ryou," she muttered, giving her a weak laugh. "I don't know why I'm so horribly forgetful. I've, I've never felt this lost before… I'm a real idiot, right?" She attempted to chuckle, but the sound morphed into a sob half-way out. Her voice was breaking. "I should… I really should remember this, right? This is… This is inexcusable… I'm your, your big sister… I must remember, I must remember…" Grimacing, the long-haired Fujibayashi pressed her temples with her palms, tears running down her eyes. "I mustn't forget something this important about my sister!" Ryou could only stare at her sister's mental anguish, her mind wiped blanked.

This can't be happening.

"I'm so sorry, Ryou! I, I didn't want to forget!" Letting out an anguished shriek, Kyou threw herself at her sister, wrapping her arms around her stiffened body. She could only stare forward, barely registering how her sister was sobbing against her shoulder. "I'm so sorry! Please, don't be mad at me!" Slowly, her instincts began to kick in and she unconsciously embraced her sister, caressing her long hair silently.

"It's alright, onee-chan," she murmured after a while, finally getting her mouth to function. "You don't have to push yourself - you've already done enough. I'll handle the rest." Giving her frame a tight squeeze, she added: "Thank you. Thank you so much."

However, her whispers were almost entirely muffled by the words that echoed in her mind.

"Everything you obtain comes with an equal price."


Author's notes: You've read about two-thirds of the story now. As we approach the end, the plot will get thicker and the atmosphere heavier, and we're about to learn the true value of the family Okazaki's happiness. Kyou's amnesia, sudden and dark as it is, serves as a herald to the rest of the story.

Speaking of which: Key has always favoured amnesia, using it first as a major plot element in Kanon and later on a tear-jerking effect in Air and Clannad. In Clannad, amnesia's importance in terms of plot was significantly reduced, playing an important part only in Fuko's arc (unless, of course, you count Tomoya's connection with the shadow world and such...). In any case, as you have no doubt noticed, I employ it quite a lot as an effect - and as you will notice in the future chapters, as a major plot element. I didn't intend it to be this way in the beginning, but this is how the story has written itself out - and I don't complain.

In any case, I hope you enjoyed these two chapters. Reviewing is voluntary, but much appreciated.

Until next time.