Sorry for the delay guys. The Eds have just been busy with their own lives lately.
Edd: When a stranger Calls.
Edd stands in a room with the police carrying off the killer of the children he was babysitting while the father just disapprovingly nods his head. "You are getting such a bad review on Angieslist." The father said.
Ed: An Ed in the back seat.
There I was just driving one dark night down an old road when Ed comes out from the back seat holding a knife. "Boococky!" Ed yells.
"WTF?" I say as he thrusts the cold steel killing me. The car starts to swerve.
"This was a bad idea." Ed says as the car flys off a cliff. "I regret nothing but this moment in my life!"
Eddy: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights.
In the dark living room Buttercup is pinned to the couch as a man readies to kill her. Eddy accidentally walks in. "Oh, sorry about that. Didn't know you were getting it on... Hey, kind of hot from this angle. Mind if I just kick it here and beat one-off?" Eddy asks as he leans back on a chair and readies himself.
"Yeah that's where I draw the line." The killer then leaves.
Well with all that out-of-the-way now let's get back to the story.
Everyone is a character from Pacific Rim and Attack On Titan so you put them to their matches.
Within the walls of the last leg of human civilization are the men of the wall but then the White Walkers attacked and... Oh wait, wrong Wall-protecting-humanity-from-a-force-of-evil story. In a city where a wall is the only thing keeping Titan sized man-eating monsters from making humanity its b***, there's an elite force of trained specialist whom pilot mechas to fight the threat. But one thing they didn't count on...
(A peaceful day within the wall when all of a sudden a bolt of lighting strikes and the Colossal Titan appears outside the wall) Was that dude popping up again.
The giant kicks the wall in letting hordes of Titans run in like horde mode on Gears Of War. It was crazy.
A local news team covers the story. "Tim, I'm standing here at the shattered wall where an endless wave of Titans are pouring through. More importantly though, I'm only inches away from the giant Titans giant feet. The feet themselves are relatively giant to the giant titan himself which means we all know what our friends on the twentieth floor are getting an eye full of." The news woman finishes.
An office man gets a cop of coffee from the twentieth floors staff room with his back to the window. A shadow blocks out the light and as he turns to see what the cause was he sees a **** that puts a horses to shame. "... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Elsewhere, that elite team I told you about earlier got an alert. "We got an alert." Edd said.
"Duh! The writer has to hurry this story along now Double D!" Eddy yells.
"There's no excuse for lazy writing Eddy." Ed adds.
"Man your mechs Dorks!" Kevin ordered them.
Ed got into the Megas XLR mech, Edd into The Megazord mech, Eddy took Optimus Prime because he kicks a**, Kevin got the Gurren Lagann mech because he's awesome enough to pilot it on his own (Suck it Simon), Brief got that generic scantily clad body suit mech design that you would see only in Infinite Stratos cause I'm kind of running out of Mechas for everyone and Dexter got his mecha that he used in the show... make your own mecha nerds!
Once they all were set and ready, and a pretty good fatality number of citizens was tallied up, the team took off to battle.
"There they are!" Eddy points out as the team flew to their destination.
"No Eddy! You're piloting a mecha now, you gotta say 'Target at six o' clock, over!'" Edd points out.
"My clock says it's six forty-four though." Ed says.
"You guys using digital or old fashion? I don't know anyone who uses an old fashion watch or clock anymore. It's as rare as seeing a funny movie starring a comedian from the nineties." Kevin adds.
"Here's a better question, how do any of us land?" Brief asked as everyone went silent.
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Dexter yells. Everyone starts screaming as they fall out of the sky.
Two Titans eat a café of people as they watch something falling out of the sky. "I do say old chap, is that a comet? I wasn't aware of any passing by our planets atmosphere this year." One titans says in an english accent cause he's british I guess.
"Oy, no. It probably just dat twit, Kyle, up to his bolder chucking again." Another one answers. Just then The two of them are body slammed by a falling Optimus Prime.
"That's two for me." Edd says as he safely parachutes to the ground below. "Perfect landing, 'Raaaaaa' The crowd is going wild. 'Raaaa'." Edd says to himself but stops when he feels the ground shaking. He slowly turns to see a Titan sized Stocking Anarchy coming from behind one of the buildings. "Oh no! It's Titan B****!" Edd yells. Stocking then steps on the tiny Ed boy kneading him beneath her foot. "AAAAAHHHHH! I'm getting a Titan Boner from this!" Yeah I'm not even going to stick around to see where this goes, lets check on Eddy.
The colossal Titan stands outside the shattered wall handing out tickets and letting a smaller Titan in one at a time. "Hey, enjoy the ride. Hey, enjoy the ride. Hey, enjoy the ride." Just then the Megazord crashes on the line. "NOOOO! I almost sold out!" Titan yelled.
"Grand dad, you ran another stop sign." Eddy said as his mech got back up. "Good lord! You're naked!"
"So? I'm comfortable in my skin." The Titan says.
"Yeah, anyone who says that is usually the last person to be parading around in their birthday suit." Eddy does have a point. Come one people, admit it.
"Well if that's what you believe then I'll just have to introduce you to my friend mister fisty and his wife Scarlet." Titan said lifting his fist up.
"Oh yeah, well I got bad news for you buddy, I'm a kickers and last I checked legs kick fists a**!"
"Come at me bro!" Titan yells as the two begin to fight.
Further into the city we see Ed trying to figure out how to walk in his mech only to repeatedly bump into the same spot on a wall. "Ah damn it! It's like Bumper cars!" Meanwhile the rest just watched in silence.
"I feel like we should do something but at the same time I just wanna watch more of this stupidity." Kevin says.
"I know, right? It's like stopping to see a car wreck." Dexter said.
"Hey guys, there's some Titans over there." Brief pointed out three Titans across from them as they waved at them.
"Yeah, they've been there for like half an hour watching Ed." Kevin says as they wave back.
"What do you think they're doing?" Brief asks.
"Probably the same as us. Just here to watch an idiot pilot a mecha." Kevin says.
Everyone continued to watch as the crowd of humans and Titans alike grew to watch the scene of Ed walking into a wall.
Back with Eddy, him and the Titan are now resorting to a slap fight. "Time out. Time out!" Titan yells as they both stop their fighting. "Time in!" Titan yells again delivering a sucker punch (And no I'm not reviewing that movie cause it f***ing sucked). Megazord had reached its limits. The mecha keeled over just like the last episode of every Power Rangers series. Eddy came crawling out.
"Gotcha!" The Titan said as he kept Eddy in his grip. "Now observe as your friends and family are devoured before your eyes." The Titan orders him as he walks over into the city to show Eddy nothing. The whole city was empty off all forms of life. "Da fauq? where is everyone?" The Titan asks.
They wonder over to see a crowd of humans and Titans watching Ed still unable to walk his mecha properly. "The hell is this? You guys are supposed to be eating these guys!" The Titan yells at his minions.
"Wait a minute Titans, look." Eddy said. "Humans and Titans, for the first time, sit together side by side in peace."
"Can it be? Have we as two different species found a mutual interest that brushed all of our bitter hate towards each other for us to live side by side?" The Titan asks.
"Perhaps we aren't so different after all. Truce?" Eddy asks extending his hand out.
"Truce." Titan says shaking that hand with a finger.
Edd and Stocking then wonder in both having a smoke. "Sup guys?" Edd asks.
"Wow... we really got past that bitter hate apparently." Eddy says.
And so years passed as human and titans learned to live together. Some even found love in one each other, not entirely sure how it works so you do the math. And so was a new dawn of awesomeness... that is, until the White Walkers came.
Review: Well for Attack On Titan, I like. It's a pretty decent series and better than the generic DBZ or Sailor Moon ripoffs you find in every anime now days. I'll give it a watchable 4 and a half stars.
Pacific Rim, no lies, for an american made giant monster film it was pretty awesome. Especially compared to that pile of dog s*** Clover Field. I give it 4 mechas.
