Leo the Lion

After the Statute of Secrecy was repealed, corporations got a little creative in their quest to stop piracy. (AU – No Powers but AU – Repealed Statute of Secrecy meaning there are no superheroes but magic is still a thing.)

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Luna Lovegood/Tony Stark
Rating: general
Warnings: Crackfic?
Tropes: AU – No Powers, AU – Repealed Statute of Secrecy, Established Relationship
Words: 1,085
Original Release Date: 19 Sep 2018
Square: G4 - Tony/Luna/Steve


Steve had his feet propped up on the coffee table and was sipping a beer as Tony started getting everything situated to watch the new movie. He always had to have things just right for movie-watching. The lights had to be low, the blinds pulled closed, snacks available in non-crinkling containers, and a blanket over the back of the couch in case his feet got cold. Whereas with Steve, he didn't care. He could pause the movie to fix or do something if he needed to.

Once everything was ready, Tony pressed the play button on the remote and settled in next to Steve. They watched the fun previews of upcoming things from the same production house. Finally, the credits started to scroll onto the screen, the last of which being the MGM lion. It roared once but then the film seemed to stutter and suddenly there was a lion standing in their living room.

"Oh shit," Tony muttered, pushing back into Steve's chest as they stared at the cat. It started pacing back and forth in front of the television while the screen remained black. "I didn't realize how big lions were in person."

Steve had wrapped his arm around Tony, half to protect him and half to comfort him. "Where's your phone, Tony?" he whispered, "I think this is one of those times we're supposed to call the Magic Connection Center. You know, misbehaving magic?"

"Right, right, it's..." Tony glanced around, still stiff in Steve's arms. He swallowed so loudly the lion looked up and seemed to glare at them. "It's in the bedroom," he squeaked. The lion returned to pacing.

Steve understood the problem immediately. The lion was between them and the bedroom. He knew better than to think that a Conjured lion couldn't hurt him. He'd seen the news reports and warnings after the magical society came out to the world after they repealed their secrecy act. Conjured animals were just as dangerous as real ones.

Steve put his arm on Tony's to calm him a little before he eased himself up and off the couch. He was a big guy, bigger than Tony at least, and he hoped that if he accidentally provoked the lion, Tony would be able to get to the elevator and off the floor. Steve was slow as he walked to the far edge of the room and the followed the wall, hoping to give the lion as wide a berth as he could. It had stopped its pacing to watch him. By the time he made it to the bedroom door, he was easily within touching distance of the big cat.

He walked backwards into the bedroom, knowing better than to show the animal his back. He fumbled behind him before grabbing Tony's phone and only looked down once to make sure he had the right number. He tapped the button to put it on speaker and listened as the phone rang twice before someone picked up.

"Magical–Non-Magical Connections Center, where may I direct you?" The operator sounded bored.

"Yeah, umm, we've got a case of misbehaving magic. I think something of ours got Jinxed," Steve answered.

"Are you or anyone else at the residence a magic user, sir?" She asked.

"No."

"Is it an emergency or an inconvenience?"

"There's a lion in our living room. I'd say it's an emergency."

The operator hummed lightly and he could hear her typing something. "And what's your address?"

"200 Park Avenue, New York City. Stark Tower. 83rd floor."

She typed something else. "And do you have any wards or protective enchantments on the building that would hinder a Correction Wizard's Apparition attempt?"

Steve could see Tony through the bedroom door, shaking his head. "No."

"Someone will be with you shortly. You may hang up now. I'd advise staying still and away from the lion, sir." The phone made a little beep and the screen came on to show that she'd ended the call.

Steve released his breath and looked back up to watch Tony who had curled up and made himself look small against the couch cushions. He swallowed and hoped the Correction Wizard would show up soon. He pocketed the phone and took two steps towards the door but the lion moved into the opening and growled. He stopped moving and waited, feeling his muscles shaking as he held himself still.

There was a soft pop sound and the lion's attention turned immediately to the newcomer. A woman's voice called out a spell and the lion disappeared. Steve sagged with relief and walked back into the living room to put his arm around Tony.

He turned to the Correction Witch. She was short with dirty blonde hair pulled back into an elaborate braid. She was looking at them. "So... I recognize the MGM lion. I have to tell you that if it's conjured a second time at this location you'll be fined for pirating copyrighted material—"

"Excuse you?" Tony said, seeming to regain his composure now that the danger had passed. He reached down and picked up the Blu-Ray package they'd purchased at the store earlier in the week. "This wasn't pirated."

"Oh," she said, stopping her recital. "Hmm. Sorry about that then. I don't know why MGM would Jinx legit copies of their films." She cast something at the Blu-Ray player and tucked her wand away. She then pulled a small notebook out of a pocket in her uniform. "Let me get your name and the purchase date of the film so I can lodge a complaint for you. I'm Luna Lovegood, by the way. Depending on how long this process goes, you might end up seeing more of me."

"I'm Tony Stark. JARVIS can you relate the purchase date of this movie we bought last week?"

"Of course, Sir," the AI said.

Luna glanced up at the ceiling and smiled, seemingly charmed by the AI. She took down the notes she needed from JARVIS, including a phone number for them, and then tucked the notepad away. She smiled at them, giving them both and up-and-down glance, before waving and saying, "The Jinx has been removed. Have a good night, now." She Disapparated with a soft pop which left the room quiet.

"Do you get the feeling she got our phone number for her own personal use?" Tony asked.

Steve glanced down at his boyfriend and gave him a smirk. "Would that bother you?"

Tony shook his head. "Nope. Doesn't bother me at all."