The sun wakes me as it shines through a chink in the curtains, for a moment I'm not sure where I am and then I notice someone sitting beside the bed.
"Ana?" I question in my sleep muddled mind.
"Christian it's me darling, are you okay," says the distinct voice of my mother.
"Mom, what, where are we," I wonder aloud as I try to get my bearings.
"We're in Arkansas honey, at the hotel remember," she prompts. Then everything hits me, the house where Ana was taken, the body in the woods and my mother comforting me in the car.
I sweep my hand through my hair thoughtfully as I gaze at my surroundings. "How did I get here," I ask uncertainly.
"Taylor and I helped you up to your room once you had calmed down in the car. You collapsed into bed and slept the night away, I stayed with you in case you woke but you never made a peep."
"I slept for over ten hours," I think out loud. "Pretty much, maybe even longer. You were wiped out and you just needed to rest. Taylor called me at the hotel and told me how upset you seemed. He told me about the woods and then when you arrived back and I saw your face, oh sweetheart I'm so sorry."
"What were you doing at the hotel?" I question.
"Taylor called to me a few days ago at home and I instantly guessed something was wrong. He has never called me before and after some gentle persuasion I got him to tell me the whole story."
"The whole story?" I hesitantly ask.
"Everything Christian. I only wish you could have been the one to tell me. I arrived here with Sawyer at about noon but you had already left. By the time Taylor called I was out of my mind with worry."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the real reason for my trip Mom. I guess I was scared about what I would find here and I wanted to keep you from it."
"I want to know Christian I need to, you weren't the only one to loose something when Ana was taken."
"What did you loose," I ask suddenly defiant.
"I lost my sweet, beautiful and caring daughter in law and I lost my youngest son."
"You didn't loose me, I'm right here."
"You left with Ana sweetheart. Don't you see that the best of you went away when she did. I only see you clearly when your with Teddy but your never quite the same. Ana and Teddy were the making of you as much as I'd like to think your father and I were.
"I miss her so much," I sob as I listen to my mother.
"I know sweetheart, we all do."
"It hurts so much all the time, Mom do you think Teddy lost me too," I ask suddenly.
"No, for him your always present. You may not quite be the person you were with Ana but your just as loving with him."
I sigh at my mothers words, thankful that for Teddy at least I'm everything I should be. I gaze thoughtfully out of the window as I think about my little boy, I miss him too so much.
"Your a good Dad Christian, so thoughtful and patient with Teddy Ana would be so proud of you," my Mom says softly.
"Will," I remark.
"Will, what?" she asks.
"Ana will be proud of me Mom, the will is important."
"It is and I'm sorry, or course Ana will be proud of you. I know I am."
"Thanks Mom, I'm sorry you lost me too but I'm here now."
"I'm glad," says my mother as she wipes away a tear.
After our talk my mother convinces me to return to Seattle, I'm reluctant to leave but once I think about Teddy I agree it's time to go.
Sawyer and Welch have agreed to stay on with Jane and together they will search for more leads. I left contact information with the local police and the hospital medical examiner so I can stay informed.
Honesty I don't think I could have stayed here anyway, I need to go home and find an occupation. I would have gone mad waiting here for the results of the post-mortem and formal identification of the body.
After our flight Taylor drives us back to my house where I know I will need to inform Ray about everything. I'm nervous about how he will react to the news but also excited about seeing my son.
As we approach the house I see someone small dash out and run towards the car. We pull up and I leap out of the vehicle and run in the direction of my little boy. We meet half way and he jumps into my arms enthusiastically.
"I'm so glad your home Daddy," he squeals in my ear.
"Me too," I say softly as I hold him tightly in my arms. He squeezes me back and then I proceed to kiss every freckle on his face.
He smiles and laughs at our reunion and I'm instantly reminded of his mother. It's funny that as much as our son resembles me his personality is all Ana.
I marvel at his little mannerisms and wonder how two people can be so alike. It's bittersweet though sometimes, especially when I catch him doing something like Ana and have to stop myself from breaking down.
I hope one day soon he will know his mother like me and together they can see their similarities. I hope one day soon I will know Olivia and find my own precious creation.
Sorry if this chapter seems a bit short but I hope to write a longer one soon and explain the identity of the body in the woods. Thank you for all your kind reviews and encouragement.
