A couple of hours later Samantha noticed that the pace of Jack's breathing had quickened and even though he was sleeping, his features displayed the signs of stress. She got a shock when his eyes suddenly bolted open and he woke with a start. He panted heavily and looked straight ahead as he emerged from his nightmare. Samantha stood up and was quickly by his side. She placed her palms on his face, hoping the physical contact of another would appease his anxiety.
"Jack! It's okay. You're safe," she said, trying to reassure him. His eyes met hers and she could see the panic behind them. His breathing gradually slowed and the rigidity left his body. He relaxed into the comforting shoulder that she offered.
"You're safe, Jack," she repeated softly as her hand stroked the back of his head.
Jack felt relieved to wake up and realise that it was only a dream. In it he was still trapped beneath the rubble and couldn't breathe. It felt all too real until he found himself being drawn into the seductive eyes of Samantha Spade. He knew that if she was there, then everything would be okay. She was all he needed. He could get through anything knowing she was there. He realised that this was something he should have told her years ago. It would be unfair to dump all this on her now.
Her hand continued to caress the back of his head. He found it extremely soothing. She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him closer to her. He leaned his head to the side and rested it on her chest. He could hear the beating of her heart and the serenity of her breathing. The scenario whisked him back years to times they had spent in each other's arms. After making love, they used to lie in bed and talk, usually about insignificant things that were going on around them. She would make him laugh with her witty remarks or commentaries. He laughed a lot when he was with her. But their nights were often cut short because he had to get home. That was always the sore point in their relationship. While he knew Samantha understood his situation, sometimes her jealousy got the better of her and she would give him a hard time. He couldn't blame her really. She would to go to bed with him by her side and then wake up alone. She hated that and the knowledge that he would go home and get into bed with his wife irked her more than she would let on. A few cautious but snide comments throughout the day were enough for Jack to get the message.
"Penny for them?" Sam said, noticing Jack was deep in thought as he rested against her.
"What?" Jack replied, snapping out of his reflection.
"Penny for your thoughts," Sam repeated with an inviting smile.
"I was just remembering the last time you held me like this," Jack replied, looking up into her eyes once more.
"Oh," Sam said, surprised but pleased by his admittance. "It's been a while."
"I've missed it," Jack confessed openly.
"Me too," Sam replied, leaning down and placing a soft yet formidable kiss on his lips. He didn't pull away, much to her relief.
"I'm so sorry, Sam," Jack said, when they finally did release from the embrace.
Oh, God, Sam thought with dread. I've misread the situation. I'm such an idiot!
"I treated you so badly," Jack continued. "Can you ever forgive me?"
Sam looked at him and could see the emotion in his eyes. She realised that she hadn't misinterpreted anything. The kiss was significant after all.
"Of course I can," she replied considerately. "I don't blame you, Jack. Your situation was impossible. You did what you had to do, I understand that."
"But I hurt you," Jack reminded her.
"Yeah, but I know you tried not to," she smiled kindly. "I could see you were hurting too."
"Yeah, well I deserved it," Jack pointed out.
"Yes you did!" Sam replied, with a mischievous grin. Jack allowed himself a smile in agreement. Sam leaned down to kiss him again, but as she did so the door of the room opened and in bounded Danny Taylor.
"Hey, you two, am I interrupting?" Danny asked, sensing that their closer than necessary position had some more intimate purpose. Sam and Jack exchanged glances.
"Not at all," Sam replied, as she covertly increased the distance between herself and Jack.
"You look much better," Danny said to Jack, seeing him awake for the first time since the explosion.
"Not too bad," Jack replied.
"Good," Danny said. "Elena sends her love. Martin and Viv will be dropping by later." Jack nodded in acknowledgement. "The CTU guys will want to speak to you when you're up to it," Danny informed him.
"I'm not sure what I can tell them. My memory is still fuzzy," Jack told him.
"Ah, don't worry about that. Just tell them what you do remember," Danny said positively.
"Have they any leads about who the bombers were?" Jack enquired.
"They're working on a few leads. There wasn't much left of them after the explosion. They haven't even positively identified the remains yet. Forensics is working on that. They have some stills from security cameras so they're hoping to get some IDs off those. No group had claimed responsibility but judging by the type of explosive used, they're working on the theory that they're home grown," Danny informed him.
"Heads will role on this one. They should never have been able to gain access like that," Jack commented crossly.
"I know. And if you hadn't disturbed them, they would have killed dozens of people in our building," Danny reminded him. "You're officially a hero, Jack."
Jack laughed briefly before a dart of pain reminded him it was best not to do that. He screwed up his face until it passed.
"Don't make me laugh, Danny," Jack warned jovially. "I'm in no fit state!"
Danny's smile hid his concern for his boss. He wasn't used to seeing Jack anyway other than strong, vigorous and in control.
"You know, I never thanked you for getting me out of there," Jack said to the young agent. "You probably saved my life."
"There wasn't much I could do, Jack. Those paramedics did all the work," Danny replied bashfully.
"Well, you're the one I remember talking to and, by the way, why were you telling me off?" Jack asked curiously.
"Em, I told you off?" Danny asked. "I'd never do that Jack," he said sarcastically.
"It doesn't matter," Jack replied. "I owe you."
"Well, no doubt I'll collect some day," Danny smirked before looking at his watch. "Oh, I have to go. Agent Fischer, CTU, wants me to go through the security footage with him. I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you," Jack replied, bidding him farewell. As soon as Danny was gone, Sam stepped closer to Jack again.
"Now, where were we?" she asked suggestively.
Jack smiled as he reached up towards her luscious lips. Sam understood instantly what he wanted and responded. This time there was passion in the kiss, even though Samantha was being careful not to hurt his already tortured body. When they resurfaced for breath, Sam had to ask the question that was burning within her for days.
"What are we doing, Jack?"
Jack looked at her and struggled to find an answer.
"Making up for lost time?" he finally replied. She smiled at the mischief in his reply but she wanted a proper answer. It was time to come clean.
"Jack, I can't keep doing this. I nearly lost you and it terrified me. When I saw you being carried out of that building and all that blood, I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I couldn't breathe. I've never stopped loving you, Jack. I've tried, God knows I've tried, but I just can't help it," Sam blurted out emotionally and took a step back.
Jack was dumbfounded. She had never been so up front and direct with him before. He loved her too. He couldn't deny that, but he didn't know if they could have a future. As he had said before, it's complicated.
"Come here," Jack said, reaching his hand out and taking hers. He coaxed her closer to him. "I have loved you for so long, even when I shouldn't have, you know that. You have no idea how much it pained me to end what we had, knowing deep down that it would never be over for me. I just wanted you to have the chance to move on with your life. Mine was so messed up, I couldn't risk screwing yours up as well," he explained frankly. "There were days at work when it physically hurt to not be able to touch you or tell you how I felt. I know you saw Martin for a while and a few other guys, so I presumed you were over me. I kept my distance. I'm such an idiot."
"I think there's a pair of us in it, Jack," Sam replied, sniffling slightly. She held his hand and looked longingly into his eyes. "So, where do we go from here?"
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I won't be going anywhere for a while," Jack reminded her with a smile.
"That's not what I meant," Sam replied, shaking her head at his cavalier attitude.
"I know," he said, as he kissed the back of her hand. "Maybe we can see if there's a way to make it work?"
"Well, first you need to get well, then we'll deal with whatever comes next," Sam said to him, leaning towards him once more and kissing him on the lips.
They were both agreeable to that. At least they both knew at last how the other felt. They would have plenty of time to come up with a way of working it out.
A/N - I considered ending it there but I think you J/S junkies would probably have killed me! One more chapter to come.
