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Chapter Nine: Conflict Resolved
"Daddy!" Gracie stared at her father on the ground. He was lying on his back and the wheelchair was turned over next to him. With tears in her blue eyes the eight year old rushed to him.
"I'm okay" he told her waving off her small hands. After standing from the chair his legs gave out and he fell but as he reached for the wheelchair it turned over. He wasn't physically hurt.
Gracie backed away giving him room to move himself and fix the chair. "Do you need help? I can…"
"No, Gracie just go play." He told her coldly. He didn't mean to speak like that to her but his pride was wounded. He just wanted a few minutes alone to gather himself. After she turned and ran from the room he dropped his head and sat there on the floor.
Hotch had been doing so well the past few days. He was able to do most anything he needed but standing to grab things. Luckily Emily had taken anything he might need and lowered them except for the book he wanted. Shaking his head he corrected himself, he only wanted the book because it was up high and he wanted to prove to himself that he could do it.
Righting the wheelchair he locked the wheels and pulled himself into it. Panting slightly from the exertion he wheeled out of his study and down the hall. Stopping at Gracie's door he heard her talking.
"I'm so stupid! I can't take care of daddy. I'm gonna hurt him!" he could heard the tears falling from her eyes and his heart clenched. He was such an idiot! How could he have let his daughter think she hurt him? Or that she wasn't able to help him?
He tuned her out as she ranted again. He couldn't take more of it. His heart was breaking. Hotch wheeled past her door, he couldn't bear to face her yet, and into his room. He stopped at the end of the bed holding back his own tears.
-CM-CM-
Emily slammed down her phone and ran her hand down her face. Her mind was spinning and her heart was hurting. Making up her mind she stomped back into the briefing room and stopped as all eyes landed on her.
"Em, what's wrong?" JJ asked seeing the concern in the friends face.
"I need to go. Hotch fell and Gracie is… freaking out I guess. I just need to go home." she turned to Rossi, who had taken over Unit Chief. "Please?" her dark eyes begged him.
Nodding in agreement "Of course, make sure to kick his ass because you know he was down something he wasn't supposed to." The man said with a sad smile.
"Is he okay?" Garcia spoke up.
"Yeah Gracie said he's fine but I guess he was a little short with her and she's crying." Emily told the group putting them all at ease somewhat. She quickly gathered her things and raced out of the building.
When she pulled into the drive it was almost 45 minutes after the call. She prayed that Gracie was calmer now but she didn't get her hopes up too much. She knew that Gracie was already afraid of hurting Hotch but if he said something to upset her Emily knew it was going to take a lot of encouragement to fix it.
Walking in the house was quiet and somewhat dark. The curtains in the living room were drawn closed and the lights were out. Putting her things down, she walked down the hall and stopped at her and Hotch's room. She pushed open the door to find her husband sitting in his wheelchair with his head down like he fell asleep sitting there. Closing the door behind her she walked to him to find that he did not fall asleep.
"What are you doing home?" his voice was low and full of sorrow.
"Gracie called." She whispered as she bent down on her knees and took his face in her hands. "Are you okay?" she asked softly wiping the tears from his cheeks.
Shaking his head slightly he whispered back "No". His eyes finally met hers and her heart broke further.
"What happened?"
Taking a breath he answered "I was reaching for something and I fell. Gracie came into help but I told her to go away basically. I honestly wasn't thinking when I did it. I was just being a pitiful jackass and she ran out. I'm so sorry Emily. I heard what she was saying in her room but I could go in there yet. I screwed up."
Emily was mad he dismissed their daughter like that knowing the state she was already in but she understood. The Alpha Male in him just hurt. Not physically but mentally. Any man like Hotch would be in the same position. "Well I think it's time because she was so upset on the phone and she's scared that if she's near you she's gonna hurt you. You can't let her think that. Remember what you told me?" at his nod she went on "You don't want our children to know what our job can do to us. I can reassure her and encourage her but you are the only one that can put her fears to rest."
Hotch nodded and looked up at her again. "Thanks" then he wheels away.
Emily waited for a few minutes then followed down the hall to find Hotch knock on the door and asking for Gracie. She didn't answer back so Emily knocked. "Gracie its mom can we come in?"
A few seconds later the door was opened and Gracie found her mother's gaze. Emily's own eyes swelled with tears but she didn't let them fall. She took her daughter into her arms and held her tight. "It's okay sweetie. Come on let's talk to dad. He has something to tell you."
Gracie moved away from her mother quickly. "No! I'll hurt him. I can't talk to him." she turned as her father wheeled into her room. She balled her fists. She was trapped.
"Gracie, you are not going to hurt me. I fell all on my own. You had nothing to do with it." He started.
"No, you didn't fall until mom left. If mom was here you wouldn't have fell by you did coz of me!"
Emily stalked forward and took her daughter into her arms. "No Gracie. Dad was just trying to do something on his own and I wasn't here to stop him. It's okay. He isn't hurt."
"Gracie, I'm sorry I dismissed you like that. My pride was wounded and I was mad at myself not you. You are the best daughter anyone could ask for and I'm so lucky to have you here." Hotch said his hands trembling to hold his hurt girl. "Come here honey."
Gracie cautiously looked at her mother then back at her father. She carefully stepped forward a few feet still between them and stopped. Hotch frowned slightly then gave a look to Emily. She nodded and stood up behind the girl. She carefully lifted her into her arms and moved closer to Hotch. "Mommy, not so close. Don't hurt him." Gracie told her watching the feet between her mother's feet and fathers chair diminish.
"I'm not going to hurt daddy and neither are you. Sit on his lap and let him talk to you." Emily deposited the girl on his lap and went to the door. "I'll give you a few."
Gracie wanted to object but let it go as her father's arms wrapped around her. Hotch looked his daughter in the eyes and smiled. "You aren't hurting me. See?" he wiggled a little getting a half smile out of the girl. "You don't ever have to be afraid to be near me. You didn't do this to me honey. A very bad man did and you help me feel better."
"How?" she cocked an eyebrow letting her hands rest on his forearms.
"By being here. By talking to me and giving me lots of hugs. I need those to make me feel better." He told her hugging her to him.
"I don't want you to be hurt. My first mommy was hurt and she didn't come back." she told him.
Hotch nodded trying to think of what Emily would say in this situation. Probably something sweet and nurturing he thought. "Your first mommy was hurt and didn't come back but I came back. I had really good doctors while me and mommy where at the hospital and they fixed me."
"But you can't walk. That's not fixed dad. Your broken." Her words hit his heart. He was broken.
Shaking that off, he smiled. "I am but I can be fixed and soon I will be able to walk again. I don't want you to worry. That's mom's job." He smiled again and kissed her head. "Okay?"
Gracie nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay. But no more trying to get books." She told him sternly.
"No more trying to get books." He agreed. "Why don't we go see what mom's doing?"
"Can I ride with you?" she asked cautiously.
"Of course." He smiled and wheeled them out of the room.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Glad everyone is still interested!
