Note: I am not forcing you to read this fic. If you don't like it, don't read it. Don't tell me how much you dislike it in every single blasted chapter I post. Just don't. It makes me grouchy.

Another note: This is not a romance story. There will be no romance. Not until, like, the seventh book.

And last note: For those of you wondering if it will eventually be Sirius/Harry. Ew. No. Not at all.

Chapter Nine

They were comfortably seated in one of the train's many compartments. George was curled up in the corner near the window, sleeping soundly as Fred was off with Lee doing whatever it was that they were doing. Harry was sitting next to him, with Neville on his other side. Ron, Hermione and Ginny were lounging on the seat across from them.

Harry fingered the large white feather Artemis had brought him that morning, marveling at how feather-like it was while being hard as dragon scale. Hedwig's way of saying to have a good trip, he supposed. "So, do we have all the plans ready for 'Brainwash-the-Firsties'?"

"Harry," Hermione scolded, although she was smiling. "We're not brainwashing them. We're doing the complete opposite. And yes, we have all the plans ready. Everything from cinema to money to nuclear bombs."

"And money to legends to wizard slang," Ron added. He grinned. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but this is going to be fun."

Neville and Ginny grinned as well, also clearly excited about this strange plan. Harry was glad, and he could only hope that this idea would be well met with their peers. Or at least most of them. "Alright," Harry nodded. "Then tomorrow during study hall we'll kidnap the midgets."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Sorry to break it to you, Harry, but you're the same size as most of those firsties."

"Am not," Harry retorted, sticking his tongue out childishly. Sure, he was smaller than most kids his age—thank you Dursleys—but he wasn't as small as an eleven-year-old. Well, most of them, anyway.

The others laughed at that and the conversation devolved into a game of exploding snap. Malfoy stopped by for his annual visit, but before he could start with the insults and threats, Harry slammed the door shut in his face. Their laughter at Draco's gobsmacked look woke George, who grumbled at them before falling back to sleep.

Harry eyed him worriedly, placing a hand against George's forehead. "I think he's got a fever," Harry muttered as George squirmed away from his cold hand.

"You'll make someone a good little wife, someday," Ginny teased, watching as Harry pulled a matchbox from his pocket. The matchbox turned out to be his truck, which he enlarged and pulled a knitted red and gold blanket from. He turned and made a face at Ginny as he tucked the blanket around the slightly shivering twin. "Not that that's a bad thing," Ginny added quickly. "Where'd you get that blanket?"

"My grandmother made it for my father," Harry answered. "I found it in my family vault."

"That's awesome, Harry!" Hermione said, clearly happy that Harry was gaining more items from his family. Harry seemed quite happy about that as well.

The rest of the trip was made contentedly, Fred joining them near the end. He promised to send George up to the Hospital Wing upon arrival at the school, running a hand through George's hair in fond concern. It was raining, but this was England so that was nothing new. It did, however, make all the students glad to make it to the Great Hall.

Hermione took notes during the Sorting, writing down the names and houses of all the first years. She got odd looks from the other Gryffindors, but those in the know grinned at her in appreciation. That would definitely make things easier.

After the sorting, however, was the biggest shock. Not only was Quidditch canceled for the year (the horror!) but Hogwarts would be hosting the Tri-Wizard Tournament. There was an age limit of seventeen to complete, and Harry had to admit that was smart.

"Would you compete if you could?" Neville asked as they made their way up to their common room.

"Maybe," Ron said thoughtfully. "If I was in the seventh year. Eternal glory doesn't mean much if you're dead."

Hermione practically gaped. "Ron…that was actually well thought out!" She smiled sheepishly at the look he shot her. "I don't want to compete at all."

"Me neither," Harry replied fervently. "I've got enough 'eternal glory' to last me and frankly the money isn't worth my life."

"Smart," Ginny murmured. "Although that money is still tempting."

"I'd pay you all double that amount just to keep you out of that farce," Harry said, shocking all his friends with his vehemence. "I'd do more than that to keep you all alive and safe." It was a testament to their friendship and all four of them took that to heart.

The next morning they got their school schedules, and all the fourth years groaned in unison. Double Potions with the Slytherins was first, followed by History of Magic and then Double Charms. Lunch was followed by study hall, then Double Defense and an elective course, for the four it was Care of Magical Creatures. Tomorrow would bring Double Herbology, and an elective followed by Lunch, study hall and another double Transfiguration, as well as their other elective course.

Everyone was shocked when every first year received a note from the school owls, but they all just shrugged it off. The five ate quickly, said goodbye to Ginny, who was headed to Charms, and trudged to the dungeons.

They sat in the back corner, as usual, Hermione paired with Neville and Harry with Ron. Professor Snape stopped at their table though, sneering down at them. The Slytherins all started snickering, thinking that the four were about to lose points or gain a detention. Instead, Harry just smiled pleasantly and held out a thin, old, leather bound book. "Thank you again for your help, Professor," he said earnestly, much to the surprise of, well, everyone. "Here's that book I was talking about. Just get it back to me whenever you're done with it."

Snape took the book and gave Harry a nod. He then spun around and snapped for the class to get started with the potion on the board. The rest of the class went smoothly, and all four turned in potions worthy of at least an 'A' if not higher. Neville seemed to be particularly shocked by this.

History of Magic with the Ravenclaws would have been boring as usual, but Ron led the others in a rather fun reenactment of a certain wizarding battle that took place in the fifteen hundreds. That was the most they had learned in that class, and they had even gotten to 'kill' each other during that learning. Professor Binns just kept teaching as he usually did, apparently not noticing that his students weren't paying attention to them.

By the time lunch had come and gone, all the first years were standing in the Entrance Hall as the morning notes had instructed. The Slytherins were glaring at the Gryffindors, who looked ready to start a fight. The Ravenclaws looked curious and the Hufflepuffs were nervous.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Ginny exclaimed as she came to a stop between the snakes and lions, her long red hair back in a braid (to keep out of her potions, of course). "Don't tell me you're already starting this house feud? It's only the second day!"

Harry gave her a small smile as he joined them, causing some whispering amongst the children. "Calm down, Gin. They've obviously been brainwashed already." There were rather flabbergasted looks at that.

"But you hate Slytherins," a small Gryffindor pointed out, looking confused. Clearly there had been some stories told last night.

"I don't hate Slytherins," Harry gently corrected while Hermione and Ron made sure everyone was there. "If fact, I've been study partners with Daphne and Blaise for two years. I just don't like Draco and his entourage." The study-partner thing seemed to shock Hermione and Ron, but then they just shrugged it off. It explained where Harry had disappeared to randomly when he had said he was studying defense or potions.

"Now," Neville said, stepping forward. "How many of you are muggleborn or raised?" he asked. About half of the thirty children raised their hands. One of the Ravenclaw purebloods sneered and opened his mouth, but Neville pointed at him with a fierce glare. "Don't even say it," he warned, and the child's mouth snapped shut. "All those raising their hands, go over to those two," he pointed out Ron and Ginny as he was instructing them.

"The rest of you are with us," Hermione said, smiling at the group. A large majority of them were scowling, but as everyone knew who Harry Potter was (even the muggleborns, through the stories they'd been told last night) no one complained.

They didn't enter the Great Hall, where the rest of the school was, as then they would be separated by House. Instead, Harry and Hermione conjured large pillows for all of them and the two groups sat on the floor on opposite sides of the Entrance Hall. The first years were in semi-circles around their tutors, and after the first couple minutes, all thirty of them ( seven Gryffindors, eight Ravenclaws, six Hufflepuffs and nine Slytherins) were completely intrigued.

Concerned by the lack of first years in the Hall, all four Heads of the Houses, as well as Dumbledore left in search of them. They stopped in shock at the sight when they reached the Entrance Hall, however. Ron Weasley was showing the muggleborn students the different coins used in the Wizarding World and he, his sister and Neville Longbottom were explaining things such as goblins and exchange rates.

Hermione and Harry were doing the same with the wizard raised first years, only they were talking about muggle money and banking. The five adults just stared, watching as the teens moved from money to clothing seamlessly.

"Why have we never thought to do this, Albus?" Minerva McGonagall asked.

Dumbledore shrugged, his eyes twinkling. "An oversight that shall be rectified next year," he answered. "For now, we shall let Harry and his friends carry out their plans."

"It's as though the Houses don't even exist," Ponoma Sprout muttered, watching one of her badgers giggle with a lion and snake over something Harry had said.

"Curious," Snape murmured silkily. "I would never have thought Potter had the brains to come up with something like this."

Although Harry couldn't possibly have heard them, he did glance their way. Upon seeing that the teachers weren't planning to stop them, he turned back to his lesson. All too soon, however, study hall was over and the first years were told to meet here tomorrow.

Neville and Harry told a group of ravens how to get to the Defense classroom without getting lost as Ron, Ginny and Hermione vanished the cushions. "Well," Hermione grinned. "That went well."

"Yes it did," Ron agreed, eyeing the teachers who were all conversing quietly among themselves. "Teaching is kinda fun. Although I think I'd enjoy teaching flying more."

"Harry's really good at teaching," Hermione said with a faint hint of exasperation. "I was about ready to hex Dorian because of his snide little comments."

"Patience is a virtue, Mione," Harry grinned, and the five of them ran off so as not to be late for their next class. That startled the teachers into moving as well.

It was during Transfiguration the next day that Harry had an idea. They'd been teaching the firsties about muggle entertainment and all the children had seemed interested in the cinema. He needed to talk to Remus, though, to see if his plan would even work.

Ron surprised them all in that class when he managed to transfigure his pincushion into a hedgehog just after Hermione had. He looked the most shocked out of all of them, and McGonagall just looked proud. Harry managed just after that, and with a little coaching from Hermione, Neville ended up with a rather happy looking hedgehog as well.

That night Harry pulled out his mirror and called his godfathers. "Hi! I have a favor to ask you."

"What kind of favor?" Remus asked, just a bit wary. Sirius shot him a grin, absolutely curious as to what their Bambi was up to.

"I want to start a movie night here. With muggle movies." Harry grinned sheepishly. "But that means I'll need some supplies."

Remus and Sirius exchanged fond looks. They knew that Harry could get electronics to run off magic, but it was sort of trial and error. The kid had gone through three computers before getting one to work. "What kind of supplies?" Sirius asked, knowing that Remus would be the one doing the shopping. Unless, of course, they did it online.

Harry's grin grew. "Oh, just some projectors, DVD players and as many DVDs that you can possibly find. That are rated PG-13 and below," he clarified upon seeing Sirius's lascivious grin.

"Would you like some popcorn machines as well, Bambi?" Remus asked, absolutely loving this idea. He may just have to show up at Hogwarts some time to join in. Harry nodded excitedly and Remus gave a gentle smile. "This is Marauder worthy, Bambi. Are we going to have to change your nickname soon?"

"Not yet, Moony," Harry grinned happily. "You have my bank card, right?" He'd had an extra one made up and given Remus access to his account. He would have done the same for Sirius, but the man was still a convict, even if he wasn't currently on the run.

"We have it," Remus nodded. "Do you want four of each machine, then?" he asked, knowing that they wouldn't need copies of the DVDs.

"Yes," Harry sighed. "With any luck, though, I won't blow anything up."

"Are you going to get permission?" Sirius asked. He thought it would be great if he didn't, but Harry needed a room for this, and for that he needed permission.

Harry nodded. "I'm hoping for extra credit from both Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall."

"Smart, Bambi," Remus said approvingly. "Very smart." Harry grinned at the compliment and Remus shook his head, somewhat sad. Harry was a very sweet kid, but he seemed shocked to get complimented on anything. It stemmed to abuse, but the boy refused to talk to them about it. "We'll get your stuff, kid. You should probably go to bed now, though. It's getting late."

"Thanks Moony, Padfoot. Night."

End Chapter

Note: After finishing this chapter, I blew up my computer. Literally. With flames and smoke. I have now gotten a new computer but it does not yet have Microsoft Office. That will soon be rectified. No worries.