Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belong to Cassandra Clare and The Infernal Devices.
That Fire of Fire Part II
Jem—
Jem was sitting on the floor leaning against the chair he had pulled Tessa down from some time ago. She was reclining back into his chest, his legs stretched out on either side of hers, his arms wrapped around her middle. Her arms were laying on top of his. Jem's chin resting on her shoulder during the occasional silent moments between conversations.
After Church had forced his way into the room, Jem hadn't dared to re-initiate what they had previously been engaged in. He kept thinking about it when they were quiet, though, the fire crackling in the grate the only sound. His thoughts juggled between remembering with pleasure and feeling shame at almost losing control, again. It did make Jem feel better after recalling telling Tessa they both equally chose to do what they did after that night in his room. Tessa was just as willing a participant as he'd been, then and now.
He was both thankful and aggravated that Church had interrupted them. It wasn't that he didn't want to continue, he did, but the music room was definitely not the place for such an activity. What if it hadn't been the cat to come in? Jem would never want to embarrass himself and Tessa in that way. Especially Tessa. Plus, not to mention how wrong it would have been. Many Shadowhunter customs differed from the mundane, but it was generally expected for a bride to be virtuous. Of course, men had dalliances and mistresses, as many mundane men, and was still considered a scandal for an unmarried woman to become pregnant. There were, of course, measures against pregnancy and protections for disease, but Jem didn't even have any. He'd never had a need or thought he would until Tessa came into his life and accepted his marriage proposal.
His thoughts jolted to that night in the library so many months ago. Finding Tessa with the Codex on her lap, her showing him the section on warlocks, and more specifically where it stated that warlocks were unable to have children. He would never forget the look of profound sadness in her eyes. He remembered she had said that she hadn't thought so far ahead in her life, children were still in the context of abstract for her. But Jem knew better, even then. Tessa may not have been wanting to have children for several years, she was still so young, but she would eventually. Jem had known then that given the opportunity, she would've been a wonderful mother.
He'd been having other thoughts lately, as well. Since the engagement had officially gone to the Clave for approval, marrying Tessa had become real, no longer just an idea. Jem had been wondering if he ought to talk to the Silent Brothers, find out if the yin fen in his blood would adversely affect Tessa in any way. He was already shackling her to a dying, now a little faster, man, and the last thing he'd ever want to do is hurt her while taking his pleasure in what little time they had together. He mentally recoiled from the thought. It would be beyond selfish. He would be no better than Benedict Lightwood.
He'd also thought that it might be more prudent to abstain from sexual relations altogether, to completely avoid any complications. Obviously Jem had almost failed, again. Twice now Jem had been moments from losing all of his control. But that's what Tessa did to him, how much he loved her. It was still no excuse, he knew. Jem could only speculate as to what Tessa's reaction would be if he suggested it. She was obviously willing, but they were both so young, passions overruling good sense. What would she think of a logical reason to refrain? Even Jem, usually so sensible and clear-headed, would object to the idea of abstaining while caught up in the moment. He wouldn't blame Tessa one bit if she wouldn't want to, but he was man enough to admit that the rejection, even if only for a perfectly sound reason, would still hurt.
Tessa shifted in Jem's arms, effectively pulling him from his thoughts, but not in time to hear what she said. "I'm sorry, what?" he asked apologetically.
She gave a small huff of amusement. "I said we should retire for the night. It has been a long, eventful day. We both need rest to prepare for the oncoming storm tomorrow morning will bring." Jem furrowed his brow.
"Oncoming storm?" he asked, thoroughly confused.
"Oh, yes. The flurry of activity and exclamations, especially from Charlotte, when we announce we are moving the wedding date to sooner rather than later and without approval from the Clave." Jem realized what she meant.
"Ah, I see what you mean. As much as I love Charlotte, she can be a force to be reckoned with, especially for how tiny she is. So I greatly approve of your term. At the very least, breakfast should be quite entertaining." Jem finished with a grin, earning a smile from Tessa in return. Tessa stood, held out her hand and simply said, "Come." He silently obeyed. They walked hand in hand toward the corridor of their rooms in comfortable silence.
The quiet allowed for Jem's thoughts to wander again. This time they were engaged in wondering if tonight would be the last night he would escort her to a separate bedroom, if they were able to manage to work out the details to actually marry tomorrow. Jem heard Tessa give a quiet, but loud enough to get his attention, snort. He looked at her, questioning her with his eyes.
She grinned. "You didn't hear what I said again, did you?" Jem turned slightly pink in embarrassment. His thoughts had been occupied elsewhere.
Jem looked sheepishly back at her. "Um...no." He waited, hoping she would repeat what she'd said. He didn't have to wait long.
"I asked if Shadowhunters go on honeymoons?" Jem wasn't sure, but he thought he could hear some hesitation in her voice.
"Oh, uh...not exactly."
"What does 'not exactly' mean?" He could hear the laughter in her tone.
"Well, sometimes a couple might visit family or friends at another Institute after the rune ceremony. They usually have some form or another of Clave or Enclave business to attend to though." Jem could just make out the muttered words some honeymoon. He smiled. "Plus," he continued, "There's always demon or Downworlder activity to investigate. However, I'm sure they're able to find a little time to themselves." He went a little pink again.
Tessa chuckled. "That's not very romantic." He'd give her that. Shadowhunters weren't very romantic, as a whole. It just came down to the individual and his or her views on romance. "Although," she said thoughtfully, "I'm certain that there are some Shadowhunters who do find demon attacks, investigations and Downworld business romantic." Her tone wry.
It was Jem's turn to laugh. "Yes, terribly romantic." This is why I love her, he thought. She could always find the humor, but not in a malicious way, in the seriousness of the Nephilim way of life. He felt it must be due to her mundane upbringing. They continued to walk in comfortable silence. His thoughts turned inward, wondering if he should even say what he was about to, when it would only serve to make them even more aware of a future they no longer had a hope of, no matter if it had only been a year or two, at most.
"Besides having smaller houses in Alicante, several families have larger country manors in Idris. I have heard of some couples taking a fortnight away, sometimes with no Clave business. So, I suppose that's as close to a honeymoon, in the mundane sense, we get to. Perhaps not as grand, however, it is still time alone," he finished.
They lapsed into silence once more. Tessa broke the quiet so softly Jem almost didn't hear what she said. "Does the Carstairs family have a country manor in Idris?" Jem could hear her fingers nervously pluck at her skirts.
"Yes. My uncle has possession of it."
"Could we go there?"
"I'm sure my uncle would be pleased for us to visit. I don't think he's spent much time there since my parents died. Besides, I'd love for you to see Idris. Especially Alicante! The Gard, the fountain in Angel Square, the great big demon towers of adamas. The towers, of course, are what Alicante gets its nickname, The City Of Glass, from." His tone had become more excited as he talked, but he lost some of the excitement as his thoughts became flustered. Describing sights of the Nephilim homeland didn't quite provoke images of a honeymoon, especially if going to Idris was for alone time. Or maybe more importantly, the idea of non-related Clave activities. He was sure Tessa wouldn't ask to go to Idris just to see Alicante or Angel Square. Jem flushed; he was glad Tessa was facing the same direction he was, couldn't see his face, as he was sure it was as red as a fire poker left in the fire.
Tessa turned to Jem and bestowed a look of half-amusement and half-exasperation upon him, which Jem noted was completely adorable. The look, though, left him in no doubt that Tessa would not ask to go to Idris to see the sights like a tourist. Jem swallowed. Hard.
Eyes locked with Tessa's, Jem felt her pull him to her, heard the rustle of fabric from her dress brushing against his clothes. He couldn't move, waiting to see what she would do next. Tessa stopped when he was inches from her and they were in front of her door. "Oh, James," Tessa began in mock disappointment, "I truly thought you were more perceptive than that!" She leaned forward to press her lips against his. Just a soft kiss, none of the fever from before.
Jem's senses were reeling from just her proximity and her soft kiss. It was enough though. She always was. He could feel and smell her all around him, completely engulfing him. He'd never felt anything like it. Not even from any of their previous kisses. Tessa was in his blood, more potent than the yin fen.
Before he knew what he was doing or could think better of it, Jem was gently urging Tessa backward until her back was pressed against her bedroom door. Their bodies flush against each other, Jem's palms flat on the door, pinning her where she was. Tessa didn't seem to mind in the least. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers again. They didn't break apart until they both had to come up for air. Jem pulled back a little. She looked so beautiful it made his heart ache. Neither moved nor spoke, both breathing heavily. Tessa's pupils were dialated and her lips were red and plumped from his kisses. He just barely heard a voice telling him to kiss her good night and go to his own room, but Jem couldn't bring himself to do it. All that mattered in that moment was how Tessa was pressed against him, her warm breath on his neck, her hands gripping the material of the back of his shirt.
He slowly leaned back in to kiss Tessa. Just the lightest brush of lips on lips, then pulled away just enough so that he could trace her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. He felt her sharp intake of breath. It emboldened him that she didn't push him away. When Jem went to trace her lip again he met Tessa's tongue instead. He opened his mouth to gasp and Tessa took advantage, her tongue invading his mouth. It was hot, silky and smooth. He reveled in the sensation. Their tongues began a rhythmic dance and Jem was lost in the kiss. He barely felt one of her hands leave his back. It wasn't until he was suddenly stumbling into Tessa's room that he understood why she'd moved her hand.
Once inside her room Tessa took charge. She shut the door behind Jem and pulled him close to her again. Her arms went around his neck, his around her back. Their lips crashed together so hard it almost hurt. He didn't care though. He just pulled Tessa tighter against him while walking her backwards toward the bed. She stopped when her knees hit the side, then let go of him so she could climb onto the bed. Jem couldn't think, couldn't move. All he saw was Tessa in the middle of the big bed, waiting for him. That was what spurred him into action. That, and his body, which he was thankful wasn't too noticeable—yet. He climbed up next to her, settling down a bit nervously at her side.
Tessa—
Tessa could see Jem was nervous. So was she, but she didn't want to show it. She feared if she did then Jem would politely excuse himself to his room and she knew she very much did not want that, not tonight. Jem couldn't ask her to leave this time as this was her room; that's why she chose to pull him inside, and she wouldn't be able to stand it if he left. She saw his hesitation and she began to fear he was going to leave when he settled himself next to her. Neither moved, only stared at each other.
They moved at the same time. This kiss was neither light nor painful, but heated and passionate. Tessa laid back, pulling Jem down on top of her, both stretching out on the bed. She kissed him long and slow, as if they had all the time in the world. She wanted to savor every moment, every touch, every sensation. She imagined this is what Heaven would feel like.
There was a small voice in the back of her mind telling her they should stop, it was way beyond propriety, and not to mention wrong as they were still unmarried. However, she couldn't bring herself to care. With the threat of Mortmain and the shortage of yin fen, who knew how long they had and she didn't want to waste any of that time left to them. No, Tessa thought, she most definitely did not want to stop.
She gently urged him to pull away from her. When there was just enough space between their bodies, she slipped her hands in between and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. She could feel his too-thin chest heaving. As Tessa slowly worked on his shirt, Jem leaned his head down so that he could kiss her lower right jawline. It was very distracting. From there, he brushed light kisses until he reached just under her earlobe. The combination of his warm breath and soft lips on that particular spot made her gasp. She arched her back, momentarily hindering her progress on his buttons. Noticing her reaction and stilled hands on his shirt, Jem grabbed the garment and quickly tugged it over his head, almost ripping the fabric.
He'd had to pull more away from her to do so and Tessa was afforded a generous view of his chest. He was much paler, as well as appearing even more delicate, than the last time Tessa had seen him without a shirt, but he was still just as beautiful. Like last time, feeling like she was touching something precious, which he was to her, Tessa lightly ran her hands over his chest. She felt Jem shudder at her touch.
"Am I hurting you?" she asked worriedly.
"No, by the Angel, no!" Jem exclaimed.
Well, that definitely answers that question, Tessa thought with amusement. It gave her the confidence to say what she did next. "Good, because I'm going to need your help for you to return the favor." She grinned at Jem's perplexed expression.
She moved to sit up, tugging Jem up with her. She twisted so that her back was to him. Looking around at him she said, "Care to play ladies' maid?" Tessa hoped she was able to interject a little seduction into her voice. Jem's expression cleared immediately upon understanding and his face flushed deep crimson. He raised slightly shaking hands to her back, fumbling on the buttons at first. He had the nimble fingers of a Shadowhunter though, practiced in the arts of war, yet still so gentle and loving with his violin. He made quick work of the buttons. Tessa drug the sleeves and bodice down and off until it was lying limp around her waist. She was left in her corset and chemise covering her upper body. She heard Jem sputter behind her.
"I—I'm not really s-sure wh-what to do," Jem stammered. She chuckled. "Just pull on the strings." At first there was nothing and Tessa feared Jem had changed his mind, but then there was a hesitant tugging on the lacings. Once it was loosened enough she took the corset off and tossed it to the floor. She stood from the bed, turning back to face Jem, letting the fabric of her dress pool at her feet, leaving her only in her thin chemise. Jem sat completely still. She leaned over to take her shoes off. Without the corset she was sure that he could see a great deal of her décolletage. If he did, he didn't say a word, only watched. She straightened then propped her right leg onto the bed and lifted her chemise so she could reach where the garter held her stocking up. Slowly she untied the ribbon and rolled the silk down her leg until she could take it off. Jem bade her to stop when she went to repeat the action after exchanging feet on the bed. He moved forward so that he could stop her from lifting the chemise higher up her leg.
"Allow me," he whispered. Ever so slowly, Jem ran his hands from her thigh to the hemline, then slipped his hands underneath the material. His fingertips softly brushed the sensitive skin just above her stocking, making her shiver. He gingerly plucked at the garter string, barely allowing his fingertips to touch her as he pulled the stocking down her leg. Oh, that's wonderful, she thought with a sigh, leaning her head back. Tessa heard Jem chuckle. Did I say that aloud? She began to color in embarrassment before she realized that it didn't matter if she had. She was enjoying Jem's touch too much to truly care. Surely he would be pleased with her contented sigh and statement. She had no idea just how right she was.
