Apple Bloom withdrew her ukulele, HellFlayer, from a dimension where all screamed for pie. Wrought from the silver heart of Season Three's false promise, laced with vessels that pulsed with Anti-Bronies hate-blood, and hewn from the horns of Stephanie Meyers' generals, it laughed as it was set loose, a laugh that only Apple Bloom could hear, but none could share.

She swung the instrument through Scootaloos' chicken neck, and did the duck walk. The traitor planned on selling the seventeen Dragonshy ballz to Klllll Hamburger, the Five Headed Dragon. But she showed her, yesiree. Now that dastardly fiend would never rule the five porn kingdoms.

Then, a laser shot from the sky, and struck Apple Bloom's hooves, making her drop HellFlayer. Chains made from pure anti-matter wrapped around her legs.

"You really didn't think you's get off that easy, did you?"

Apple Bloom grew a third eye and gasped. It was Cadence, entombed in her enchanted Troll Armour, accompanied by her loud-mouthed troll sidekick.

The Dragonshy ballz levitated and transmogrified into pure cotton candy. "The equinox is starting soon! Hurry, troll sidekick, we must bring them to Klllll Hamburger before the muffin sauce reaches -324 Celsius!"

"SHUT UP, FUCKASS! I'M ON IT!" Shouted the troll sidekick as he put the ballz in a sack made of changeling hide.

The two melted into chowder, and left the meteor.

Apple Bloom thought about jelly beans.