Chapter 9: Advanced Physical Education
Summary: Annie is feeling better
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A/N: Mild sexy-time stuff. You are warned.
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Britta shuffled up to Annie, relieved that she had found her amongst the craziness of kids screaming from the nearby playground and the squealing and splashing from the pool. It had been a bit nerve-racking to rely on text instructions to find the place, and she was still readjusting to the time zone.
She had recently returned from a trip with Ian to Ibiza. She hadn't seen any of the study group members, save a brief glimpse of Troy and Abed late last night when she thudded back into her room, since pretty much their graduation. Ian had insisted, since he wasn't teaching the first term of the summer, that they take a proper holiday, and for some reason they worked it out to be away for five weeks. It was perhaps financially stupid, but they found ways to travel on the sly and ingratiated themselves with some other fellow travelers.
She was so thankful that Dorie had agreed to watch her cats. She was hoping they hadn't been too much trouble and they got along with Dorie's pets well enough. She still needed to stop by and get them and the hermit crabs, and she figured it could wait until tomorrow after she caught up with Annie. She supposed they also needed to pick up Kevin at some point. He had been keeping Maybelle company and doing odd chores.
The trip had been kind of a whirlwind to be honest, and as much fun as she had on her graduation vacation, it was nice to be back in Greendale. And it was pretty uplifting to get a text from Annie welcoming her back and inviting her to watch Sophie's first swim lesson of the season. She had stopped by last summer a couple times and cheered Sophie on as Annie had held her kicking in the pool with the other parents and kids. It had been adorable and was worth it to put up with Jeff making sarcastic swimming quips as he hid behind his designer shades and lounged in a deck chair.
She had missed Sophie a lot.
Annie had explained in her text that she would be the one watching this year, as she hadn't been feeling the greatest, so Britta supposed she'd have more fun sitting with her. She spotted the back of Annie's head and called out.
"Annie!"
Annie turned and gave her a big smile and motioned her over, pointing to a lounge chair next to her.
Britta threw her bag on the ground, which contained a gift for Sophie, and then plopped herself down. She leaned over to give Annie a hug, and her eyes widened as she saw her belly.
"Holy crap."
At this, Annie smiled and patted what only Britta could describe as a massive bump jutting out from her petite frame and said, "I know. You've been gone for a few weeks, so you missed the in-between part." She then rolled her eyes and added, "And you sound like Jeff. That's how he's been reacting at each stage." She reached over and grabbed a cracker from a tray of food sitting to her left and proceeded to dip it in a giant glob of peanut butter.
Britta lowered her sunglasses and continued to stare at Annie's midsection as Annie munched away, not sure what to think. She hadn't really been contemplating the concept of the second Edison-Winger baby while she had been away, as she had other things to attend to. And the last time she saw Annie, she hadn't been showing at all, despite Annie mentioning to her that she could tell that her clothes weren't fitting.
But this was pretty darn obvious.
Annie startled her by lightly swatting her arm and sighing in explanation. "I'm almost sixteen weeks."
She now grabbed an apple slice and picked up a plastic spoon to have a go at what looked to be a tub of onion dip.
Britta scrunched up her face and asked, "Out of how many?"
"Forty."
"Double holy crap."
"Now you definitely sound like Jeff." She sighed and appeared to consider biting the slice of apple before shrugging and just using the spoon and going full on in with eating the onion dip.
Britta found herself a little light-headed which she tried to tell herself was due to jet lag and not the sheer terror she tended to feel whenever the full realization of the effects of pregnancy on a woman's body hit her. It was insane, the way babies were kind of parasites.
And Annie's baby seemed to have an affinity for dips.
But Annie didn't seem to mind and was now grinning again as she rubbed her stomach and mused, "I was still a little sick up until last week, but I'm feeling a lot better actually and have so much more energy. It's now really nice being pregnant."
She continued to gaze lovingly at her belly, which Britta just didn't understand.
She managed, "I'm glad you're no longer sick."
Annie continued to look downward as she said, "I wasn't doing so well on Father's Day, and it was Jeff and Sophie's first time as legally father and daughter. But at least we walked around the zoo a little bit."
She frowned and teared up slightly, and Britta merely smiled slightly in sympathy.
"I suppose it was their first real Father's Day."
"It was, but it wasn't, you know? Jeff said it felt kind of anti-climatic, but maybe he just didn't want me to feel bad."
She dipped a pickle into the peanut butter and proceeded to crunch away.
"Well, he did this to you, so he should care how you feel."
Annie paused in her munching and arched a brow, regarding her for moment before saying, "He didn't do anything to me, Britta. We made love, and we made a baby." She proceeded to finish her pickle and then took a long sip of water.
Britta inwardly cringed as Annie added, rubbing her belly now with full force and affecting a sing songy voice, "We made you, yes we did. And now that Mommy's feeling better, we're going to get all ready for you. You're going to need cute little baby things. Like little itty bitty socks." She then added in a whisper, "But we don't tell Bubbe, because she'll be all superstitious and not let us get anything cute for you until you're here."
In a desperate attempt to change the subject at the sight of Annie's now maudlin tears, Britta managed to ask, in full awareness of her ignorance of such matters, "I suppose you didn't want to take Sophie in the pool, um, since you're preggers?"
Annie wiped her eye and shook her head. She sighed again. "I would have, and I was looking into cute maternity swimming suits, but we had already told Sophie that Jeff would go in with her, and she got her little heart set on it and insisted. Which is fine, actually, since then I can watch." She then plastered on one of her fake Annie smiles and stared off toward the pool.
Confused at the shift in tone, Britta slowly turned forward so that she could view the swimming lesson. She didn't need to scan for more than a millisecond, however, as she quickly spotted Sophie with Jeff.
Oh yes, Jeff Winger was in fine form. The bastard.
He was shirtless of course and had his arms under Sophie's torso, gently guiding her through the water as the instructor shouted out instructions. Sophie was squealing in delight as she kicked and clutched her kickboard, and Jeff looked very proud.
She supposed he would be. Sophie was so cute and enthusiastic and was in general always pretty adorable. But she also suspected he was aware of the kind of attention he was receiving from his new fans.
She followed Annie's shifting gaze at the other mothers in the pool (there were some dads too, but they seemed to be avoiding Jeff), who appeared to be trying to engage Jeff in conversation as they almost absentmindedly shoved their children forward.
"He's such a pig."
Annie let out a light and long laugh, and it reached a pitch Britta had only heard once before from her, and that had involved a question Troy had about mice in spacesuits during their first semester at Greendale.
She patted Annie's leg in sisterly solidarity, her hand inadvertently grazing the bump, and she shirked it back. Annie placed both her hands protectively back on her belly and grunted something to her in response before she slyly began scanning the crowd.
She mumbled through grit teeth, "It does seem as if he's getting a lot of attention."
Britta frowned and followed her gaze, noticing that all female eyes (and a couple male) were transfixed on the pool area. She perked her ears and overheard several exclamations of admiration and one 'Dear god.'
She scooted her chair closer to Annie and hissed, "I can't believe he's upstaging Sophie like that."
Annie closed her eyes in a pained expression and then opened them. She said, "I don't think she notices, thank goodness. And it's sweet of him that he offered to take her in the pool when we thought I couldn't."
"I suppose."
At that moment, Jeff looked over at them and waived, now holding Sophie with one arm, as they had just completed an exercise and were resting.
Sophie yelled, "Mama! Tit-ta! I do it!"
Jeff gave Sophie a kiss on the side of her head and they both continued to waive in Annie and Britta's direction.
Annie sat up slightly and waived back, and shouted, "You did so great, sweetie!"
Britta stopped in her own mid-waive as she heard several exclamations from nearby.
"Dear lord, that's his wife!"
"Lucky woman."
"Looks like she's gonna have another one."
"That man is an Adonis."
The one woman to Annie's left blatantly leaned over and said, "Your child is adorable. Um, and your husband is so wonderful for going in with her. I suppose he must have other things to do, and for him to take time out of his day…"
Britta inwardly seethed at the misogyny of it all, the assumption that a man couldn't go to swim lessons with his child and that he was 'more important' than his wife.
She was preparing to let the woman have it when Annie purred, "That's right, he's my husband. And I get to take him home with me. He's mine."
X
"Annie, can we please not get into it?"
Annie looked up at Jeff, who had emerged freshly showered from the locker room, his wet hair spiky. She suspected he put some gel in it so that it wouldn't dry a complete wreck until he had access to a hair dyer. He smelled delicious, and he was wearing a light blue t-shirt and tan shorts, all of which accentuated his muscles. He had been working out a lot this summer. In a way she supposed he was trying to manage his stress from studying for the bar, putting up with Alan, and trying not to freak out about their growing bump.
Regardless of the reason, she had to admit she didn't mind.
She stepped over to him so that there was little space between them, and accepted his quick kiss. She then said as she batted her eyelashes, "Get into what? You were adorable out there."
She let her hands linger on his torso.
He stared down at her and kept his hands on her hips, which she was very thankful for.
With a sheepish smile, he offered, "I didn't realize I'd get so much attention."
She narrowed her eyes and was pleased when he reddened slightly. She whispered, "It couldn't be helped."
"I suppose it couldn't."
She swatted him as he chuckled, and she felt her own cheeks becoming hot. She also felt a renewed rush of warmth and tingling throughout her core, and she almost couldn't take it.
She had been watching him throughout the lesson, and as much as she tried to focus on Sophie's feats, she had been constantly distracted by the murmurs of the other mothers as well as the sight of Jeff's abs and strong, capable arms holding their daughter.
She had wanted him to rip all her clothes off.
"Annie?"
She just realized she had squeaked.
"Um, nothing. I'm fine." She smiled up at him, and once again felt literally weak in the knees as they made eye contact.
"You okay?"
"Maybe you could hold me a little tighter."
He smirked and pulled her in to him, and they began kissing, both of them fully knowing where this was going. Over the past few days as the morning sickness seemed to disappear entirely, they had resumed more consistent physical intimacy, and it had been a much-needed return to form for them, for their sex life was important. It had always been intense, but for some reason she was finding that it was even more so now. She wasn't sure if it was hormones, relief that she was no longer nauseous, or he had gotten exponentially sexier, but she didn't really care.
Her mind flashed back to the previous evening when they had let loose after Sophie had gone to bed. It had been exhilarating, and to her admittedly hazy recollection, it had been three rounds. Plus, if she counted the two from yesterday morning after they had taken Sophie to Troy and Abed's, it had been a grand total of five for yesterday. Plus, this morning, she had gotten him once before Sophie woke up, so she might count that as six, but maybe she should count that toward today's total? She considered they could set a record, if they worked really hard.
She really wanted to jump his bones.
He mumbled in between kisses, "Where's the munchkin?"
"She's with Britta in the locker room. I wanted to wait for you."
"Hey now."
"Let's go home."
He pulled back and nodded, his mouth in a steady line as he glanced toward the girls' room. "You know we have to take her home too."
Annie let her hands run over his torso, and she smiled coyly up at him, shifting a little as she could barely contain herself.
"I was thinking. Britta just got back, and Sophie's missed her so much."
She looked up at him and waited for his reaction to her unspoken suggestion.
"Sounds awesome."
X
Jeff fell back on the mattress, still panting. He let his arms fall open and said through gasps, "That was amazing."
She licked her lips and smiled down at him as she lightly traced his chest and nodded. They took a moment to regard one another, relishing the return of their connection. It had been a welcome surprise over the past few days, for Jeff hadn't been sure if she would feel well again during her pregnancy.
He wasn't really sure how to predict anything anymore, but he was glad he was wrong about this one. The past few days had been a delight, as she had almost consistently wanted to have sex. If they hadn't had Sophie to deal with, he was fairly certain that they would have been going at it constantly, with the exception of Annie's now almost voracious eating times.
Voracious was a word he'd apply to other things as well. She was almost like a tiger. It had been so utterly crazy that he had pushed down the thoughts of the bump, which really wasn't that large but just more prominent now, and concentrated on pleasing her. He wasn't sure if it was hormonal, something with blood flow, or relief at no longer being nauseous that contributed to her wanted to climb him like a tree, but he really didn't care.
Then again, maybe he had just gotten sexier.
She rolled off to the side and snuggled in, and he wrapped his arms around her contentedly.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, Jeff."
He mused as he stared at the ceiling, "I wonder how we can strategize to give the munchkin more play dates. I suppose Thanos and Daniela might want to distract Dino, or would that be jerky of us to drop her off there?"
"Risky. They might want us to take Dino instead."
"True. Um, what are the Bennetts up to this summer?"
She lifted her head up on her hand and grinned conspirationally at him while she resumed tracing his pecs.
"I saw Shirley yesterday, and she told me she'd watch Sophie if we needed some alone time."
Jeff raised a brow, and she shook her head as she laughed.
"I didn't ask, she offered."
"Right. I'm sure she just sensed that we wanted to have marathon sex."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, I may have mentioned that to her that I was feeling better…" She continued to trace his pecs and was staring at them lustily while she did so.
"I see."
"She said it's a thing. Wanting more sex."
"I can't believe you're discussing our sex life with Shirley."
"We're married now. She seems to think that's okay. In fact, she often asks."
He cringed at the thought that Shirley was intensely interested in their romantic exploits and considered he and Andre never discussed anything like that. He wouldn't feel right talking about Annie that way, but he supposed he didn't really mind for some reason that Annie objectified him.
Hee hee.
He felt her hand move lower, and he instinctively grabbed it, which elicited a pout.
"We've gone two rounds."
She tilted her head, and explained the obvious, "I think we can go for three."
He took another deep breath, conscious of the fact that he was still coming down from the last one. He released his grip and reached for a glass of water, which Annie had thoughtfully gotten for him after the first round, when he had expressed concerns about hydration. He took a long sip, and he sensed her impatience.
As he placed the cup down on the bedside table, he sighed, "I can't just do it again right away. You know this." He then placed his hand over her roaming one and gave her a serious look.
A wave of frustration flashed across her eyes and she then widened them innocently and resumed the fluttering of lashes.
With a groan, he said, "Fine. Then we'll take care of you while I recuperate."
He flipped over a now laughing Annie and began kissing his way down.
X
He reached into the fridge to grab a beer, wanting something cold and crisp. It had been kind of hot in the apartment all afternoon.
He grinned as he felt Annie's hands touch his chest, aware now she was behind him once again and was clamoring for his attentions.
He didn't want to complain and offend the sex gods, but he was getting a little worn out.
He stepped back, closed the fridge, and then turned around as he popped open the beer.
"Jeefff." She was once again running her hands up and down his naked chest, her robe barely tied as she began to place kisses on his pecs.
"We've gone four rounds. We have to pick up the munchkin soon."
"We've gone five."
"Right." He wondered if he'd need to be put into an induced coma soon. This couldn't be healthy.
But god, it had been amazing.
But he seriously needed to chill. He took a long sip of beer and then rolled it back and forth along his neck, feeling his skin cry out with relief at the coolness of the bottle.
Annie appeared to notice his reaction, and she took a few moments of unnerving yet oddly sexy studying of it before she smiled slyly and shooed him out of the way. She then opened up the freezer and took out an ice cube tray, smugly placing it on the kitchen counter as she kicked the freezer door shut behind her.
"Careful. Don't get off balance there." He reached forward to steady her as she wobbled, he supposed due to being off her center of gravity with the munchkin bump.
She smiled at him self-consciously and said, "I'm pretty balanced. I've been taking my prenatal yoga classes."
"I know, but still."
"And I'm very flexible."
"Trust me, I know." He took another sip of beer and handed her a separate glass, figuring she was going to get some ice water.
To his surprise and then growing titillation/dread, she shook her head and turned over the tray to free the cubes.
Turning toward him, she took an ice cube and placed it in her mouth.
He was going to die.
X
"Hi Daddy! Hi Mama!"
Britta pulled open the door fully so that Annie and Jeff could enter Apartment 303 and watched as they reunited with Sophie. Annie scurried over to her and scooped her up in her arms before settling in on the sofa to watch the remainder of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Troy giving her a nod as he sat next to them with a big bowl of cheesy popcorn. Jeff, oddly enough, seemed to move more slowly, walking strangely and a bit stiffly, and she could have sworn she noticed him wince. He approached the sofa and slowly sat on the arm, letting his hand ruffle Sophie's curls in greeting.
She came up behind him and asked, "Are you stiff?"
His head whipped around and he glared at her, she could have sworn in some mixture of panic and scorn.
She furrowed her brow and explained, "You're walking funny. Did you hurt yourself in swim class?"
At this, he visibly let out some tension in his shoulders and then slowly stood, pushing her toward the kitchen. She muttered some arguments against this sort of treatment but acquiesced, figuring something was going on.
As they stood near the kitchen doorway, she asked, "What's up?"
"Christ." He grimaced and then with a resumed panicked look in his eyes opened the fridge and took out a Fanta.
"Since when do you drink that stuff?"
"Since I desperately need to cool off." He popped open the tab and began to pour it down his throat.
"I guess it's pretty hot out there. But it was hotter in Ibiza."
He stopped drinking and gulped, before saying in a terse tone," It's pronounced I-bee-tha."
"No it's not, dumbass. I should know. I've been there. Eye-bee-za."
He began to roll the can against this throat and sighed wearily. "How can you be so stupid about some things yet so perceptive about others?"
"Hey, I graduated too you know." She puffed out her chest and added, "And I'm going to grad school. So suck it."
He stuck his tongue out at her in response.
She then followed his gaze over to the back of Annie and Troy's heads and said, "Did you guys have a nice afternoon?"
"Um, yeah. Thanks for spending time with Sophie."
"It was fun. I missed her. Hope you don't mind, but I got her a necklace. I figured she can't always wear Pierce's pearls, and this one just seemed more fun."
He smiled at her then, and she was reminded he wasn't a complete jerk. She had kind of missed him too, but she wouldn't tell him that. The thought of their study group no longer existing was kind of making her sad these days, which is why the vacation was well timed. But she supposed she'd still see Troy and Abed, even if she did feel like a third wheel sometimes, and she definitely wanted to keep in touch with Sophie and Annie.
And Shirley was pretty cool too, especially when you got her talking about her business. She was all for female empowerment and kept a watchful eye on that Andre. Something told her Shirley might need her help with that at some point.
She considered Jeff again. Yeah, she'd keep in touch with him too. He had grown on her throughout the past few years.
She awkwardly punched his shoulder and said, "Make sure you keep it up."
"Jesus, Britta. How did you…"
-"What? I don't want us to lose touch just because we graduated. Make sure you keep in touch with me."
"Um, yeah. Of course. Yikes."
His eyes had briefly widened, but they returned to their usual size and he placed his hand near his jaw and rubbed it. His skin seemed flushed, and there was an odd redness around his mouth.
She studied his face, and didn't know what she had missed, but figured it couldn't be that important. He was always a little strange anyway. But Greendale in general seemed almost surreal upon her return from abroad, so she didn't want to over think it.
"I think Jeff's afraid you've caught on to his and Annie's sexcapades."
They both gasped and swirled around to see Abed standing in the kitchen corner, calmly munching on cornflakes.
She shrieked, "Abed! How long have you been standing there?"
"Your entire conversation. I was in here first."
They exchanged sheepish looks, aware they had been pretty self-absorbed. She then remembered Abed's words.
"Sexcapades?"
Jeff gave her a tightened smile and walked over to Abed and smacked him on his head.
"Ouch."
"You need to stop it with the commentary."
Unfazed, Abed made a beeline toward her and explained, "He and Annie have been having a lot of sex. Troy's been watching Sophie over the past few days."
Her eyes widened as she considered this, and she was suddenly aware of why Annie seemed to almost crow to the other mothers that morning. She had thought it was affected posturing, but now she realized that Annie had been deadly serious. She did get to take Jeff home.
And she had been pretty eager to have her spend time with Sophie.
She scowled and said, "I didn't need to know that."
Jeff joined them near the doorway and hissed, "No, you did not. Abed, how in hell did you know?"
Abed calmly turned toward him and said, "I've been reading about pregnancy. So that I can be prepared. And this happens to some women. I hope you're ready, Jeff."
At this, Jeff groaned and then ever so slowly sat down on a stool on the outside of the breakfast bar. Once again Britta had the realization of what it all meant, and she tried to suppress the images she had of them Doing It. She shuddered at the memory of him rubbing his jaw.
Jeff took another sip of Fanta and then said, "I don't need to be 'ready.'"
"But she is wearing you out?"
"Can we please not talk about this?"
Abed cocked his head and then after a few silent moments merely shrugged and walked back to the corner and stood there.
Jeff called after him, "What have you been up to anyway?"
"Just being a working man, Jeff. Gotta bring home the bacon."
For the first time considering that she hadn't yet caught up with Abed since their trip, for he had quickly excused himself at the realization that they were going to watch a claymation special, Britta asked, "Did you end up working for that company?"
Abed nodded and gave a low whistle. "I did. I think it's going okay, but it is a grind let me tell you. A grind. I've been in a sour mood at the end of the day after dealing with the boss and after that long train ride both ways. I promised Troy I'd make it up to him, so we're going to dinner tonight."
"Oh, really? I thought maybe we could all make some food. I've missed you guys." She began to fiddle a little with a straw wrapper she spotted on the counter.
"No can do, Britta. I haven't been giving him enough attention. You understand?"
"Um, yeah. Sorry."
Jeff piped in, "Why don't you join us? You can even stay for a little while after Sophie goes to bed and tell us about your trip."
She pondered this for a moment, confused as to Jeff's sudden welcoming of her intrusion into his family life. He normally guarded that pretty heavily, liking nothing more than to retreat from group gatherings by a certain hour so that he Annie and Sophie could be alone.
Then it dawned on her.
"Hey, you want me to cockblock you?"
He whispered, "I don't think it's called cockblocking in this case. Merely run interference." He glanced over at Annie, who Britta now realized was watching them while licking her lower lip and batting her lashes seductively.
Britta smiled politely over at Annie and then walked completely into the kitchen out of view and turned to face Jeff, one hand on her hip. She hoped she looked imposing. She couldn't condone him trying to get something past Annie.
She watched as he waived in Annie's direction and then ever so slowly rose from his stool and made his way over to the fridge, where he grabbed another Fanta, likely in an attempt to misdirect Annie.
He walked over to stand in between Britta and Abed, safely out of view from the living room and to Britta's surprise, opened up the new can and finished it off in one long chug.
"Geez, Jeff, that's a lot of empty calories there. Aren't you afraid you'll get fat?"
Uncharacteristically wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he turned toward her and pursed his lips in frustration.
"I'll have you know I've expended plenty of calories over the past few days."
"Come on, I didn't need to know that."
Abed merely shook his head and sighed loudly.
Jeff placed the empty can next to the other one on the counter and firmly gripped her shoulders. Giving her a manic look, he pleaded, "Please, Britta. As much as I love Annie and love having sex with Annie, I can't keep up this pace. She's insatiable, and at this rate, she might actually kill me."
"Yeah, right. Like it's been that crazy."
"She told me she wants to break a record tonight. Trust me, you don't want us to break our record. Two key parts of me will fall off. And then I won't be able to have any more children, but more importantly I won't be giving any more Winger speeches." He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis on that last part.
"Pig." She shuddered and slapped his hands at the ickiness. Luckily he dropped them but continued nonverbally imploring her.
She caved, "Fine. But you owe me one."
"You're the best, Britta. Thank you."
Well, she'd take that. At least no one had called her the worst today. It felt good to be needed by her friends, even if she needed a bottle of bleach to scrub the images from her mind.
Abed resumed eating his cornflakes.
