I have realized one thing in this chapter (POV is Gaara, by the way)... so many Gaara-fans who are reading this are gonna KILL me... so sorry in advanced... but good things come to those who wait:3 (yes, that is my excuse. and I'm stickin' by it!)
Chapter 9: When the Words Won't Come
The Shukaku itself had given us permission to be together. I was free to love her, even if it was just physical "love-lust". I knew the words, I felt the words in my melting ice-heart. So long had I been waiting to tell someone, speak those very words which I had deemed worthless to me. That's right. The words I had said were not my own, but those of the people who kept me by myself. Alone with no one to even lend me a shoulder to cry on. But today, under the full moon, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen pledged her love for me. And I couldn't say it back. I must be the lowest jerk in the world. If Shikamaru had done what I am doing to Temari... I shudder to think about what she would do. My sister had a fairly bad temper when provoked.
But not my Deserai, no. She gently took my hand in hers and raised it to her face. Rubbing her cheek against its back, she said, "I understand. You want to be 100 sure before you rush into love. I've waited this long for you, I can wait until you're ready."
I watched as she shut her eyes, still nuzzling the back of my hand with that soft smile of hers. That was the smile I loved... ARGH! I can THINK it but it was so damn hard to SAY! "How did I get so lucky? I have a demon inside me... a an angel falls in love wtih me." I watched her eyes open to look at me with that innocent sea blue gaze. That look always made me start to think of ways to make her more... sinful. And also forced me to gain control again. But every time she looked made it more difficult to stop. Soon, i dont' think I will be able to stop myself. How can a girl who cuts herself every month still be so innocent.I watched as she blushed. "I'm not an angel. I mean... I just met you tonight and I've already fallen in love wtih you and I'm living with you. And, in everyone's eyes, the worst part is... is that if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing." And she smiled a smile that was reserved for me.
That was the last straw! The gates of my "love" burst open. I kissed her harshly, one hand dove into her hair, the other snaked around her hips, pulling her flush against me. I knew she was kissing me. I pushed my hips even closer to hers, letting her feel my want for her. I knew she was kissing me back. She gave a sharp cry and broke the kiss by tossing her head back in pleasure. I kissed her neck, licking and nipping at her pulsating veins. "You taste so swet..." I growled.
She moaned as I lightly ground my hips into hers. And she tentatively moved against me, lowering her head and kissing my forehead as my lips attacked her collarbone. "Th-thank you... I guess I'll take that as a-a compliment..."
Her chest began to move toward me quickly as her breathing increased. Her beautiful rounded breasts... I had seen them once when she'd cut them... her blood had stained the lily white skin that had hidden itself under her clothes. I wanted to see them again. "I want to... take off your shirt. Will you let me?"
Deserai nodded. "I give you my body... Gaara, I am yours," she whsipered, grabbing my hand and pulling me into my room.
I had completely forgotten that we were on my balcony. I was slightly embarrassed and even with my control, I couldn't help a small blush dusting over my cheeks. But even though I was "in the wrong", I passed it off as if I'd known where we were. "I suppose you aren't a fan of open displays of affection..." I said with a smirk.
She chuckled. "It's not that... it's a lot more comfortable here, that's all." She then hugged me tightly. "Yes... definately more comfortable."
I held her back as my hands crept to the bottom of her shirt. My sand came out and pinned her hands up in the air as mind pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it into a corner as though it was a snake or something BRIGHT PINK.
"Um... Gaara?"
"Yes?"
"Can you let go of my hands?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm not done yet." I looked at her black bra. It was different fromt he last one. It had clasps... and lace. It was a real bra that separated each breast and clung gracefully to her flesh. I was curious about that bra so I lightly brushed a finger agaisnt the material that was in the center. It was silk. But even more curious was that her breast reacted immediately after I touched it. The sensitive peak hardened and made itself known to me. It seemed to be reaching out to me, beckoning me to do something, anything so long as it was me. 'And not that pervert Kankuro.' I admit that I still do not accept my brother touching her. But I promised Deserai that I wouldn't kill him. So I had to resort to the next best thing-- painful torture. Very painful torture.
I listened to her gasp in surprise. She must have not known that they could do that. She apparently had never played with herself, experimented with her body. And because I had an unexperienced girl near me, I felt... happy. Now I knew why she was so addicting. An untouched core of a beautiful girl who was giving herself to me.. my face could split in two at the grin that ran across my face.
"Are you sure you want me to have you? I'm a virgin... by the basic fact that I've never had intercourse with a female. The Shukaku is a whild demon who only really kills because it gives it a sense of accomplishment and pleasure. It will contribute in any sex that we have."
I wasn't as unexperienced as Deserai. Unlike her, I have touched myself, just to see what it was like. It felt good so I kept doing it. With that racoon demon coaching me from inside, I became the Kazekage of masterbation. Kankuro, obviously, knew of "male difficulties". He gave me a large stack of "mature" magazines to look through. I buried them in the sand for later.
I came out of my deep thoughts when her reply cut through. "Yes... I want you... to be the one to break me. Please? Please be with me... if only this one night."
"I'll do you one better. I'll stay by your side until you don't want me," I replied. I'd kill her after that, of course. In her sleep. Painlessly. So no other man could defile her as I will.
"That will never happen. I love you, Gaara."
"Even if I can't tell you it completely... though I cannot say those three words... I have three other words for you-- "right back at'cha". I got those words from naruto... but I mean them in a different way... I'm going to make you mine... tonight."
"Not now?"
"No. You need to rest up. I have big plans for you. Now get to sleep. I want you well rested, Deserai."
She blushed as I pushed her onto the bed. Covering her with the blanket, I laid beside her and held her close. I wasn't going to sleep but I'd be damned if SHE would sleep WITHOUT me. "Goodnight, Gaara."
"Goodnight... my love." Hey, I said it! ... fine, I was close!!
