Things progress a little in this chapter as we are getting to the point where Beth and Daryl start becoming Bethyl. Just one lonely review of the last chapter for a grand total of 13 for the entire story so far...you guys are a tough crowd for my fragile writer's confidence.


Chapter 9

As winter settled fully into the area things slowed down at the farm since it was too cold to much of anything outside so we discussed expanding the farm's walls, current buildings, and garden areas. "If we take up too much of the space we have inside the walls then our gardens and livestock will suffer." I said as we sat around the living room discussing the plans. Again.

"What if we add them to the outside of the fence with another fence on the back of them?" Maggie suggested from where she sat between Glen's legs as he leaned back against the wall.

Abraham leaned forward from where he sat in one of the armchairs with Rosita perched on the arm of the chair. "Won't that be dangerous for them and safer for whoever stays in this house?" He argued.

"Not if we use the right materials for the outer fence and make it taller than the inner fences. From the outside it would just look like one layer of fencing." Maggie argued back with a shake of her head. "We have to do something. Soon enough we are going to have two newborns in this house and it's already crowded without adding two screaming babies to the mix." She said while shooting Lori and Baylee apologetic glances.

According to my Dad and Carol, Baylee was nearing the end of her pregnancy while Lori was in her sixth month.

Rosita leaned over to whisper in Abraham's ear which caused the usually unruffled man to blush and glance quickly at his girlfriend before facing us. "I agree it's getting awfully crowded in this house and the extra space while not taking away from the already fenced in area is a good idea. But I think we need to be cautious about who we put out there." He said before turning to look at Rosita who smiled down at him. "I nominate me and Rosita to take one of the houses."

We all laughed at them before continuing the conversation about how it would all work. By the end of the evening a rough sketch had been drawn out of how the 'rooms/houses' would go around the property and the talk began about making a run so we could do a bunch of the work while the weather was not scorching outside. "Where can we find all the lumber and supplies to build a second fence strong enough to protect the wall inhabitants?" Rick asked as he looked around the room at all of us as we were scattered amongst the furniture and floor. I watched as his eyes strayed to his wife briefly before moving on. Something was wrong in their marriage because they rarely spoke to one another unless it concerned Carl. Not anything like a loving couple who was expecting their second child.

"We've done raided the hardware store in town but maybe we can dismantle some of the houses surrounding our farm?" Maggie said as she smiled over her shoulder at her husband. "Or we can raid the lumber yards in the neighboring towns."

My Dad was the one that spoke up and put his foot down at the same time. "I don't want my girls out very far from this farm during the winter months because the weather is unpredictable and so are people trying to survive in it. Let's stick with scouring the neighboring farms. There are several on this road alone and if all else fails you are within a reasonable walking distance to the farm."

"Okay." Was the collective response around the room. "We'll start our search for building supplies tomorrow."

~*~LUCKY~*~

That night I escaped the chatter of the house and climbed to the roof once again to stare openly at the twinkling stars. It was peaceful, cold but peaceful, up here with no chatter in my ears and only God's creations all around me. Wrapping my blanket I had brought up with me around my shoulders I lay back against the rough shingles of the roof as my breath puffed out around me. A song flitted through my head that I hadn't heard in a while, since Maggie and Shawn were teenagers, and taking a calming breath I began to let my emotions out in the best way I knew how.

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always
Go my way, yeah
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own
I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find
Her way

I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe
(Not yet a woman)
I'm just tryin' to find the woman in me, yeah
(All I need is time) all I need is time
(A moment that is mine) that's mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time (is all I need)
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl
Oh
Not yet a woman

I let the final notes trail off in the gentle cool breeze that blew over the roof as I sighed heavily into my blanket. One of the things I wanted most these days was for people to accept me as an adult and valuable member of the team instead of the naïve teenager I was before the turn happened. Even now, nobody really listened to my ideas unless Maggie, Patricia, or my Dad stood up for me and spoke up. It was irritating and frustrating. When another breeze blew my way I caught a smell that was different that just the wind and knew immediately that I wasn't alone on the roof of my house. My hideout was officially being shared with someone else. "Who's up here?" I called softly without moving though my heart pounded in my chest.

"It's jus' me." Came Daryl's voice from across the pitch of the roof. "Was jus' smokin' 'fore bed."

Sitting up I looked in the direction I heard his voice come from and spotted him sitting on the pitch of the roof with only his outline and the glowing end of his cigarette visible in the darkness of the night. "I didn't know anybody else besides me and Maggie came up here." I told him as I wrapped the blanket tighter around me as I looked at the dark woods surrounding my home. Before electricity became a thing of the past I could sit up and see the twinkling lights of my neighbors and even the town lights off in the distance.

"Your Pa told me about it a few weeks ago. He don't like me smokin' in the house." Daryl grumbled.

I chuckled at the thought of my Daddy reprimanding Daryl for the bad habit of smoking. "Yeah, he chewed Shawn out good when he came home after his first year at college because he had picked up the habit of smoking to try and fit in with some guys at his school."

"It's a nasty habit. Smokes ain't easy to find now though." Daryl grunted. "Didn't know you sang."

Burying my face in my jacket I blushed despite his inability to see me in the dark of the night. "Yeah, just never for anybody. I used to sing in my church choir but stopped when I was thirteen." I said sadly as I remembered exactly why I had stopped singing in my church choir. It was just a few days after my thirteenth birthday when I had finally given into my momma's request to sing a solo at Sunday service for Mother's Day. My momma, Patricia, and I had spent the weekend before shopping in Atlanta for a brand-new dress and shoes for my solo performance. The morning of my performance my momma spent precious time curling my hair until it was just perfect while I practiced my song in front of my mirror with my brush while she worked diligently behind me. My performance was perfect and my momma and daddy cheered the loudest out of our entire church but once I returned to school the next day the kids at school began teasing me about my performance. Saying cruel things such as they wonder if my mouth was good for anything other than squawking like a cat being murdered, or if I had used a sexual favor for the preacher to overlook my horrible singing. It was so bad that the principle eventually called my mom to come and get me because I refused to come out of the bathroom to go to class. I had stayed at home, doing my work from my room, for nearly three weeks before my big brother came home and had a talk to some of the kids who had made disparaging remarks about me. After that I had returned to school but refused to sing for anyone since that day.

"Why?" Daryl asked as I heard him shuffling across the roof. "Ya sing good."

I shook my head as I watched him with wide eyes as he got closer to me. "That's a matter of opinion I suppose."

"Who's opinion matters these days besides your own?" He asked softly as he crossed the ridge to join me on my section of the roof.

Shrugging my shoulders I sat up, pulling my knees against my chest under my blanket so that I could wrap my arms around my knees. "Nobody's I guess. But the last time I sang for anyone other than the stars and woodland critters was that time when I was thirteen and it ended horribly."

Daryl settled a few feet away from me on my section of the roof but I could smell the hint of cigarette smoke even through the distance. There was something about Daryl that drew me to him and enraptured me but he was standoffish most of the time. "Sing another?" He asked softly as he mimicked my stance that was hidden beneath the blanket.

"You a secret Britney fan?" I teased him with a giggle that floated off with the wind.

He shook his head, sending his unruly hair flying around his face before he reached up to tuck it back behind his ears. "Nah, know any Journey?" He asked softly.

I grinned at him because Shawn learned to love the music of the 80's through our father. "How about 'Don't stop believin'?" I asked him with a bright smile on my face, almost giddy to be singing the song because it came with amazing memories of dance parties in the living room before bed.

"That'll work." He whispered as he looked out at the darkness surrounding our house. "That's all we can do now'days. Just keep believin'."

Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I looked over at Daryl to find him watching me intently. "I would've brought the guitar up here if I knew I was going to be doing a concert performance." I teased before shaking my arms out to shake off the last of my nerves before delving into the song lyrics, tapping the beat out with my feet against the shingles of the roof.

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
The smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on, and on, and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlight people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin' somewhere in the night

Workin' hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win
Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on, and on, and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlight people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin' somewhere in the night

I hummed out the tune of the music to the best of my abilities while Daryl tapped the same tunes on his jeans since we didn't have any way to actually play or listen to music anymore these days.

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people

"Thanks." Daryl grumbled as he stared at me through the darkness.

Nodding over at him I locked eyes with him, something connecting between the two of us. "Anytime."

He shook his head, breaking our eye contact, once again sending his long hair flying around his head. "My Ma liked that song before my Pa killed all the good out of 'er." He whispered to the darkness.

I gasped at his admission. "I'm so sorry." I whispered scooting a bit closer to him, just a few inches until his wide-eyed gaze snapped to mine at the noise.

"Don't be sorry. Don't need pity, 'specially from you." He ground out, once again capturing my gaze with his. "Not from you." He whispered as he reached a hand out towards me but paused halfway to my face before dropping back to the rooftop.

"Why?" I whispered as I turned to face him more, keeping our eyes locked but being mindful of my movement so that I didn't fall of the roof. "Why does my opinion matter so much?" I asked him softly as I reached over, tucking a stray strand of his hair behind his ear. When my fingers grazed over his ear his gasp was audible in the silence of the night.

His hand snapped up, grabbing mine in a tight grip. "Don't." He whispered hoarsely.

Twisting my wrist lightly, I broke free from his grip and brought my hand up to cup the side of his face. "Why?" I asked again as I placed my hand firmly against the stubble of his cheek. "My touch has never bothered you before. I've had my entire body wrapped around you when we ride the motorcycle together. Why does my opinion matter so much, Daryl?" I whispered as I brought my other hand up to brush more stray strands back behind his other ear, trailing my fingers along his scalp and ear as I tucked the strands away from his face. "You need a haircut." I whispered off topic.

"Don't know." He whispered as he reached his hand up to cup over mine as it rested against his cheek. "Just does."

Tilting my head to the side I looked at him through wide eyes. "I think you like me more than you are willing to admit, Daryl. I think I mean something to you." I whispered as I leaned forward suddenly, placing my lips against his cheek in a soft kiss. "Goodnight, Daryl." I whispered in his ear before pulling away.

I climbed down off the roof without another glance at Daryl and escaped to my bedroom where I shut the door behind me and got ready for bed. Once I was in my pajamas I lay in bed listening for Daryl's steps to go past my door and into the room next to mine but I fell asleep before I heard them.

~*~LUCKY~*~

Watching Daryl huff a breath of annoyance as his hair fell forward into his face once more caused me to smile because he had been refusing to let me cut his hair for the past several weeks by saying that we had more important things to worry about than me cutting his hair. "Want that haircut now?" I asked as I hefted my end of the load of lumber onto the trailer of the truck that Maggie and Glenn were driving today while Daryl and I rode on his motorcycle from place to place as we gathered the supplies needed for our farm additions.

"Nah." Daryl said as he shoved the small stack of lumber over until it was flush with the others. We were dismantling neighboring houses for lumber, insulation, windows, roofing, and doors. It was a tiring job but necessary for our plans to come to fruition.

Shaking my head I walked back over to the stack that the others were adding to as they tore down the Jacobson's house from the roof down. "You can borrow one of my hair ties if you need to since you refuse to cut it." I told him as I picked up another stack to repeat the process.

He glared at me but otherwise remained silent as we worked side by side. Once our stack of lumber was empty we started loading the windows and doors into the box truck so they wouldn't get broke. The plan for the new wall and home spaces between the two was that two spaces would connect by an interior wall with green spaces between each set of two with opening to the farm on the inside wall and none on the exterior wall. The walls facing the 'green spaces' would be full of windows and a single door to allow them to be aired out and allow in sunlight since electricity wasn't going to be possible in the rooms. The adjoining spaces would have a single door connecting them in case of an emergency. By our last count we were going to have enough space to add twelve rooms into the wall space with three windows on each green space wall with a grand total of thirty-six windows, eighteen doors, and so much lumber and roofing material that my head could spin.

When the sunlight began to fade we called it a day and headed back to the farm with our haul of the day. Once we turned down the driveway of the farm I gasped at the progress Abraham and the home base crew had made that day while we had been out gathering supplies. "They got the gate up!" I cheered from my spot on the back of Daryl's motorcycle. Nobody even questioned where I was riding when it came to leaving the farm since I rode on the back of Daryl's motorcycle, wrapped around his warm body, every time since that first time.

I felt more than heard Daryl's grunt as he drove through the open gates. Once the last of our convoy pulled through the gates they were shut behind us. "How's it look?" Rick asked as he ran towards us as I climbed off the back of the motorcycle.

"Looks amazing! I'm surprised you guys got it up today." I told him as I looked towards the house trying to spot my father who normally greeted us as soon as we came through the gate. "Where's Dad?" I asked Rick when I didn't spot my dad's white head of hair.

Rick pointed to the barn. "In the barn doing his best with a cow that's struggling to deliver her baby." He explained softly with a shake of his head. "I don't understand it but he's determined to save her."

"I'll go help him." I told him as I took off in a sprint towards the barn.

I found my Daddy in one of the stalls I had prepared a few days ago when a thunderstorm had kept us at home for the day. "She gonna make it?" I asked as I took in the laboring breaths of the momma cow.

"I hope so because if she don't then the calf won't either." He muttered from his spot at her hind legs with his arm shoved elbow deep into the poor cow. "The calf is turned backwards. We're going to have to deliver her. Go get the guys from the house. I'm going to need some help to pull it free." He told me as he pulled his arm out of the cow's nether regions with two tiny legs in his grip.

It wasn't a sight I had never seen before but it was vital for our livestock to reproduce and survive so we could have a sustainable food source on the farm. Now, I was frozen in place as I stared at the two tiny legs and panting mother. "Bethany! Go, now!" My dad called loudly, shocking me into action.

Sprinting towards the house I panted to each man I passed that my Dad needed help in the barn. I found Daryl out by the chicken coop taking a drag of his cigarette. "Come on, Dad needs help delivering a calf." I panted as I struggled to catch my breath.

Blowing his smoke away from me he pinched his cigarette out before shoving it into the worn package. "I don't know shit about deliverin' a cow." He complained as he followed me back to the barn.

"All you gotta do is help pull on the chains. The baby is turned backwards." I told him as we jogged towards the barn. "I could tell by the way the feet were turned when my Daddy pulled them out." I explained as we entered the barn just in time to see Abraham and Tyrese pulling on the chains that were connected to the calf's hind legs.

Daryl and I quickly assisted in the pulling and within minutes the calf was laying on the bloody straw not breathing. Racing around all of the guys I knelt beside my dad as he cleared the calf's nose and throat while I rubbed its chest roughly. "Give me some water." I called out to the crowd standing around us watching as we tried to get the calf to breathing while the momma cow staggered to her feet with the placenta still hanging out between her back legs. "Come on baby." I whispered to the calf as I rubbed his chest attempting to get it breathing while my Dad blew gently into it's nose. When a bottle of water was thrust in my face I twisted the cap off with my teeth before dripping some into the calf's ear with one hand.

When I felt the faint movement under my hand I smiled brightly. "She's breathing." I whispered to my dad as tears sprang to my eyes. "She's breathing!" I called out as the calf's ear twitched just before it shook it's head to get rid of the water I had poured in its ear.

Once we got the calf and momma some fresh hay we all left the stall to let them bond together. "Come on." Daryl grunted at me as I walked out of the barn after watching the new momma and calf for a few minutes.

"Where we going?" I asked him as I trailed along behind him as he took off towards the house.

He glared at me but mumbled under his breath. "Need ya' to cut my hair."

I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. "How short can I cut it?" I asked cheerfully as I sped up to fall into step beside him.

"Not shavin' my damn head." He growled at me.

The gasp escaped me at the thought of all that glorious hair gone. "I would never. Maybe just to the bottom of your ears." I told him as we approached the porch.

His nod of approval meant the world to me as I raced ahead of him to get the scissors from the kitchen. "Don't gotta be so damn excited." He grumbled as he followed me into the house.

I grabbed the scissors from the kitchen drawer since Lori and Patricia normally cut hair on the back porch the scissors were kept close by. "What are you doing Bethie?" Patricia asked as she stood at the stove.

"Just gonna give my hair a quick trim." I told her as I paused to talk to her so nobody would truly be onto what was going on.

"I can do it for you tomorrow, sweetheart." She said with a bright smile on her face.

Shaking my head I smiled at her. "I can do it, I'm really just trimming the edges. I noticed a few days ago that they were splitting." I told her as I headed for the stairs and the bathroom up there that all the upstairs occupants shared.

When I reached the upstairs landing I looked towards the closed bathroom door and saw the flickering glow of the candles we kept in there. Taking a deep breath I headed for the closed door where Daryl was most likely on the other side. Pausing outside the door I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before raising my hand to rap on the wood gently.