Don't know why it took so long to write this chapter. Lots of school stuff, lack of motivation, I guess. Either way, I'm really sorry you all had to wait so long. Thanks for reading, as always. Please leave a review if you can and I'll try to update sooner next time. Have a lovely day.

Chapter 9: Fears and Lies

Sora's heart was, as far as Eraqus was concerned, broken. Still, even with a broken heart, Sora remained true to who he was. This startled Eraqus.

Of course, it was a good thing that Sora was still himself, but it was, at the same time, alarming. Was Sora really so strong willed that even a broken heart couldn't bother him?

Eraqus offered Sora time to rest his heart, but the boy just wouldn't take it. He insisted the two continue as they always had, and so, despite his heavy concern, Eraqus continued having Sora forget.

In the first few days, everything went smoothly. The master had Sora forget the remaining world cards he and the forgotten replica had collected long ago. Sora proceeded to forget the many heartless he had battled within the castle walls. Everything, for some time, was as it was before. Then, however, something in Sora changed.

Sora said to Eraqus one day, "I can't forget anymore," and offered no further explanation. From then on, he quite simply refused to forget anything, everytime apologizing genuinely without being able to look at the master in the eye when he said it.

Eraqus initially thought little of Sora's abrupt defiance. He assumed that Sora was just overwhelmed and needed time to readjust himself. So it was on these days in which Eraqus had Sora train rather than forget. When these days progressed into weeks, however, his patience for his pupil wore thin.

"You still have much to forget, Sora," Eraqus reminded him staring at him with a fierce gaze.

"I know," Sora acknowledged. "But...I can't." He looked down at his big, yellow shoes when he said it.

"Perhaps you should forget someone you met at Castle Oblivion today," Eraqus suggested that day.

"Not today," Sora said softly. "Can we just train again?"

The master clung on desperately to what little patience he had left. "I know that this entire process can seem be, at times, too much for you to bear," he began. "But remember, Sora. You must."

Sora shook his head. "Not today," he said again, looking somewhat nervous.

"Sora." Eraqus spoke sternly. "You cannot allow yourself to continue to delay this. I have given you more than enough time to rest. Now it is time you continue to forget."

Sora took a pause to consider it. "No," he said bluntly. It was the first time he had ever flatly refused.

"No?" echoed Eraqus, attempting to remain calm, but he couldn't help but to raise his voice. "No you refuse to restore your own heart?"

"No, I won't do it today," Sora corrected, daring to look Eraqus with a rebellious stare.

"Why?" Eraqus finally croaked after staring back for a long moment.

It was the question that had been on Eraqus's mind since Sora had changed. Why was he refusing to forget all of a sudden? Why would he want his heart's restoration to take longer than it needed to?

Sora's answer was bold. "Because I need more time." He looked away.

"Time to do what?" Eraqus demanded. "Do you not understand that your heart is broken? That time is not on our side? As your guide and keyblade master, I demand to know why you are so intent on hurting your own heart even further than it already is!"

For a fleeting minute, it looked as if Sora was considering revealing everything to his master, but at the last second, he decided against it. "It's nothing," he said, unconvincingly.

"It is not 'nothing,'" Eraqus said as his arms crossed. "Tell me, Sora. What is on your mind? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I made a promise to someone," Sora offered vaguely. "I need to figure how to keep that promise before I can restore my heart."

This only brought more questions to the master's mind. Who had he made a promise to? Additionally, what kind of promise would require him to hurt his own heart in the process of accomplishing it? When had he found the time to make a promise at all? Why did it need to be kept secret?

"What sort of promise?" Eraqus finally forced out.

Sora shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I can't tell you," he said.

"Whyever not?" The master was puzzled.

"...I just can't say."

"Do you not trust me?" His words were pained when he asked such a thing.

Sora's heart raced. He spoke defensively. "I do! I just-"

"I am here to assist you, Sora. In any and every way I am capable of," Eraqus said, cutting him off.

"But if I tell you-"

"What have you been keeping from me?"

Sora was silent.

As was Eraqus.

The two studied each other, neither of them moving or speaking. Both seemed to be lost in deep contemplation.

The air was tense.

Then, Sora spoke.

"Master Eraqus," he finally said in a serious tone. He had decided to, after all, tell Eraqus the truth. "I promised that I would find a way to save you."

Eraqus gave Sora that same, uncomfortable look he always did whenever the topic was even briefly mentioned. "Sora," he began, stroking his chin. "Haven't we been over this? I am only a memory that you are destined to forget. There is nothing for you to save."

"No!" Sora exclaimed, no longer able to keep it to himself. He spoke passionately. "You aren't just a memory. I see you the way Ventus remembers your heart and you body, but the soul you have right now is real. The reason you're safe in my dream is because your soul has a version of your heart and body to rest in. But when I wake up, it won't have that kind of protection. I need to find a way to save you before I have to forget you." He paused to study Eraqus's solemn face. He seemed upset, but he seemed to be listening carefully. "The more I forget," Sora continued, "the faster I wake up. I figured that if I stopped forgetting, I could buy myself some more time in the dream to figure out how to save you."

Eraqus processed it. He, gradually, grew angry. "You're putting finding a way to...save me…before the restoration of your own heart?" he asked, for clarification.

Sora nodded.

"No," the master said, successfully causing Sora's heart to skip a beat with a single word. "I won't have you do such a thing. You are not to put my soul before your heart, is that understood?"

Sora stiffened. "Master Eraqus," he began, only to be cut off.

"Saving a soul without a heart or body is nonsense and only faintly achievable," Eraqus went on. "Do not concern yourself over what happens to me."

"Master Eraqus!" Sora said again, and he raised his voice to the same level Eraqus spoke in.

"That is enough," Eraqus said. "We will focus on saving your heart and nothing more."

Sora took a small sigh of frustration. Ventus had warned him of this, of the way Eraqus would react, but Sora saw no other way to come up with a plan. He knew little to nothing about the soul by himself and therefore needed assistance, even if that assistance came from the person he was trying to save.

"I can't just do nothing!" Sora exclaimed. "There has to be a way to save you. Please, Master Eraqus. I know you know a way."

Eraqus spoke bitterly, at a dangerously low voice. "Enough, Sora. I will not have anymore of this talk of saving me. It's pointless to even attempt. You are here to restore your heart and nothing more. There is no time to waste."

"Why can't I restore my heart and save your soul?" Sora demanded.

"Why are you so intent on saving my soul to begin with? What do you hope to achieve?"

Sora spoke softly. "I just want to help you."

"As am I, attempting to help you!"

"We can help each other!"

"...Sora. I want you to forget something for me right now."

"What?"

"Forget the promise you made to save my soul. This way, you will be able to continue to restore your heart without realizing that I am more than just a memory."

Sora wouldn't even consider it. "No," he said bravely.

"I beg your pardon?"

"No, I won't forget making that promise," Sora said firmly. "Look, Master. If you just tell me how to save you, I'll start forgetting everything you tell me to again. But before then, I won't forget anything."

"Do not be rash."

"I'm not being rash! Friends are supposed to help each other. They're supposed to do whatever it takes to make sure they're okay."

Eraqus gasped a bit. Had Sora...referred to him as a...friend?

No. That was never what was intended.

In fact, growing attached to Sora was something Eraqus had avoided all along. He had taken so many precautions to avoid it from happening. He had congratulated Sora only with "well done" instead of telling him, "great job". He told Sora to "rest well" every night when he could have said "goodnight." He could have laughed at his jokes, but he hadn't. He could have told Sora how much he had grown to love him, but he never did. He had, all along, made the effort to remain distant for Sora's sake.

The master had attempted to be cold and distant since the very start for this reason, but that obviously wasn't the case. Sora had found a way past the walls Eraqus had put up, and in turn, Eraqus had foolishly grown attached to Sora. Was the fondness he had for him inevitable from the start? Perhaps it was, being that it seemed nearly impossible to even remotely dislike a person like Sora.

But when had it happened? When had their relationship changed from an acquaintanceship to a friendship? Eraqus searched his memories in hopes of determining the exact moment it happened. Was it when the two spoke underneath the sea of stars? Or perhaps it was before that, when Eraqus tasked Sora with the Wild, Wild Goose Chase Challenge. Or maybe-

No, Eraqus decided. Friendships develop at a gradual rate. Therefore, it stood to reason that Sora had considered him a friend for, assumingly, some time now. But did Eraqus feel the same?

He saw Sora as his student, but as his friend? The thought had never even crossed his mind until then. He had certainly never seen his other students as friends - he saw them as his children, if anything.

Still, he could not see Sora as a son. Could it have been possible that they really were friends?

Even if they were, Eraqus could not allow Sora to think it, for their friendship would only further complicate things. He and Sora were never meant to be friends. Their friendship would only make it more difficult for Sora to, in the very end, forget him. He would have to hurt Sora then just to prevent a more intense pain later on.

Eraqus searched Sora's sky blue eyes with a look of confliction. They were just so full of hope, full of determination.

The master turned away.

"Sora," he said, doing his best to speak in a relatively emotionless tone even though it killed him inside to hurt the boy. He took a pause as Sora waited for him to speak.

Perhaps, he thought, there was another way, but he could think of nothing. Sora needed to genuinely believe that Eraqus was not his friend, and it needed to be said then and only then. It was the only way.

Eraqus spoke impassively, though it hurt him more than he would dare show.

"I am your master, Sora, not your friend. I can and will never be both."

The man then took his swift leave, not once looking back to see the utmost sorrow on his pupil's face.


Sora and Eraqus, though different in a variety of ways, shared one common fault: they were both stubborn.

For the remainder of that day, neither of the two spoke to one another despite wanting to.

Eraqus, who had retreated to the throne room, thought of their argument. Of what Sora had told him about his soul. Of what he had last said to him. With despair, he buried his face in his hands. He hoped that he hadn't hurt Sora too much with what he said. He was tempted to find him and apologize for everything, but he decided it was best for Sora to come to him first once he had the time to process everything.

Sora stayed outside in the courtyard. No one had ever openly denied his friendship like that before, and he hadn't a clue of what to make of it. He thought and thought until he could take no more thinking. He used the remainder of the day to continue to train on his own. For his own training exercise, he dreamt up heartless to fight and pass the time. All the while, as he fought the heartless, Eraqus's final words to him wouldn't leave his head. He couldn't stand the idea of being left on bad terms with him, but he didn't want to be the one to approach Eraqus first.

And so the rest of the day passed without the two exchanging another word. Sora, who was exhausted in every way imaginable, proceeded to his room where he fell fast asleep effortlessly.

Eraqus eventually passed by his room to check up on him. He watched him, fast asleep, for a brief moment with tired eyes. He then took his leave thinking that perhaps everything would resolve itself the next day.

The day that followed, however, was no different than the day before. Sora went off to fight heartless in the courtyard while Eraqus remained roaming the empty castle halls. Neither of the two spoke. When night came, Sora had again fallen fast asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

Eraqus did as he had the night before and passed by his room to ensure he was asleep and well.

How long would the cycle continue, he wondered?

The next morning when Sora made his trip to the courtyard outside, he felt lightheaded all of a sudden. Despite stumbling when he walked, he tried to ignore the sensation and figured it to be the result of too much sleep. He dreamed up a relatively easy opponent for himself: a white mushroom.

The gentle heartless began its games of charades by fanning itself in an exaggerated manner.

Sora, who found it incredibly difficult to focus, missed his chance to cast blizzaga on the mushroom.

The mushroom stopped fanning itself and wandered around the area. Sora trailed close behind, this time forcing all of his concentration on the thing.

The mushroom eventually halted and began to spin uncontrollably. The abrupt spinning only made Sora's headache worsen. He groaned lightly and again missed his chance to cast the correct magic, for the mushroom had already stopped.

He held a hand to his head and once again, tried to ignore the feeling of dizziness. He stared at the mushroom with absolute focus. All he needed was to cast the correct spell that corresponded with its charade three times. Then, he would be able to call it a day and go back to sleep. That way, he'd also be able to win a prize, and white mushrooms always gave the best prizes.

The mushroom looked side to side as if it were confused. Then, it went on to perform its next act. It tumbled to the ground with a small thud.

Sora, who knew all of the tricks to beating this heartless already, cast a swift cura and it leapt with joy.

The mushroom then began to shiver.

"Fire!" Sora exclaimed as he shot a fireball at it.

The mushroom, once more, cheered.

It wandered around with Sora again trailing close behind. Stopping suddenly, it proceeded to fan itself.

But before Sora was even able to make the mental switch from fire to blizzard magic, a fast flying fireball came whizzing by from seemingly nowhere. It flew past Sora and hit the poor mushroom smack in the forehead.

The once serene creature threw a tantrum and stomped on the ground various times before ultimately spinning around once and disappearing.

Sora, unable to process what had just happened, could only stare forward at the empty space the heartless once stood in. He hadn't even been able to get his prize.

Slow footsteps approached him from the shadows before him. "You should've seen the look on your face when I ruined your little game," remarked the tall, cloaked man with the teardrop shaped tattoos.

"Axel," Sora said, blankly.

"Hey, it's been awhile since you thought of me. I figure that now that you finally dreamt me up, that means you're ready to forget me now?"

Sora took a step back. "No, I can't forget you. I can't forget anything."

Axel stopped where he was. "Oh?" he asked. "But if you didn't dream me up to forget me, why am I here then?" His tone changed in a flash of a second from playful to suspicious.

"I didn't even realize I was thinking of you," Sora retorted, cringing every now and then at the pain in his head.

Axel crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow.

Sora's expression softened. "Maybe...I just wanted someone to talk to. And you…"

"I what?"

Sora shook his head. "I don't know."

Axel came closer to the boy who no longer made an effort to back away. He studied him closely.

"Ah," he finally said impassively. "I get it now. You're starting to realize that you've been lying this whole time."

"What do you mean by that?"

Axel rested a hand on his hip. "Don't you get it, Sora? Your heart's been broken all along and you've been lying to yourself about it. You pretended like everything was okay when it wasn't. And now you're starting to come to terms with it."

"W-What?" Sora stuttered, alarmed. "How can you tell?"

Axel shrugged. "You look like a mess," he answered honestly.

Sora refused to believe it. "But it isn't my heart that hurts," he protested. "It's my head."

Axel chuckled a bit. "Sora, Sora! That's just another way you're trying to lie to yourself! Think about it. Really think about it. What hurts?"

Sora closed his eyes and focused on the pain in his head. "My head," he answered.

"No, you're still lying to yourself. You want to think that the pain is all in your head when it's not," Axel went on with a hint of irritation. "Think harder. Where does it hurt, Sora?"

Sora closed his eyes tighter as if doing so would make him think harder. He thought of the light headedness. Of Eraqus, whose soul he had yet to save. Of Ventus, who had left from his heart. Of Riku, who he had last seen behind the Door to Darkness. Of the emptiness in his heart where someone he had forgotten belonged. Of Naminé, who he would have to forget just like everyone and everything else. The throbbing pain in…

"...my heart."

He opened his eyes. It was as if, as soon as he let go of his lie, and soon as it melted away, the intense pain transferred from his head to his heart. It was then, when he could truly accept it, that he could feel what a broken heart really felt like.

Axel scratched the back of his head. "Yeah," he said, turning away. "Look… I'm sorry," finally giving in to his conscience.

"Sorry...for what?" Sora asked. His voice was empty.

"It's my fault your heart broke." He shook his head, looking to be disappointed with himself.

Sora held a hand to his chest and winced. "I don't get it," he said, laughing for a moment to further avoid the pain. "Ventus said it was because of...him."

Axel, looking startled at the mere mention of the name, stared at Sora. "You talked to him?"

Sora nodded. "For a little while. He said he was sorry...for taking Master Eraqus away from me. But...he also said he left my heart. I don't get it."

The man mused. His narrow eyes widened a bit.

"What?" Sora asked when he noticed the change in his expression.

"Sora, do you want to know why you couldn't forget me when you first tried to?" He spoke almost kindly.

"Why?"

"I'm not only made up of your memories of me. I don't know how, but some of someone else's memories of me found their way into you too. And since that person has Ventus's heart with them, you see me the way Ventus remembers me, by default, too. It all makes sense, if you really think about it. You couldn't forget me because your heart couldn't tell which part to forget."

Sora stared at him as if he were speaking in another language. "Huh!?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Don't hurt yourself, kid." Axel laughed lightly.

"Hey!"

"But I digress. Sora… Stop hurting yourself. You refusing to forget what happened at Castle Oblivion is only bringing more pain to your heart. Those memories are only weighing you down. Forget them. Now's a good chance to start. Forget me. The Axel that you remember."

Sora refused. "No. I need...more time."

Axel was curious. "Time to do what?"

Sora took a deep breath and, just like that, began to lie to himself about the pain. He denied it was ever even there and acted as he usually would have. He managed a smile. "I promised Ventus that I would save Master Eraqus, but I need time to figure out how."

Axel noticed the transition, but he did not address it. He scoffed quietly. "Even with all the time in the world you'd never be able to find a way to save a memory."

Sora was calm, despite having had explained the whole ordeal once before. "He isn't just a memory. The Master Eraqus in my dream… His soul is real."

Axel remained unimpressed. "You don't even really know the guy. Sure, you really know a part of him, but is that really enough to hurt yourself over?"

Sora nodded. "Well…he's my master. And he's my friend too," he said, without a doubt in his mind, despite what Eraqus had claimed before.

Axel sighed lightly. "If you ask me, you should just stop playing hero and worry about yourself for once. But, hey, what do I know?" He opened up a dark corridor with a lazy wave of the hand.

Sora tilted his head to the side. Weren't they having a conversation? "Where are you going?"

Axel shrugged. "I don't know. Away, I guess. Don't worry about me. You'll see me again when you need to forget me." He smirked once before entering the corridor and vanishing from sight.


As if by some odd coincidence, (or perhaps a stronger, unseen force?) Eraqus decided to finally speak with Sora in the exact moment Sora thought to do the same with Eraqus.

Sora proceeded to enter the castle just as Eraqus proceeded to exit it. They met up halfway there, by the grand staircase.

Eraqus attempted to speak first, fed up with remorse. "Sora, I did not mean to say what I did before-"

But simultaneously, Sora too tried to apologize.

"Master Eraqus, I'm sorry I wouldn't forget anything-"

They both stopped once realizing they were both talking over each other. Eraqus patiently gestured for Sora to go first.

"I'm sorry, Master Eraqus," Sora said simply.

"You've nothing to apologize for, Sora," Eraqus said with a stern voice. "It is I who should apologize. I should not have allowed my fears of being saved cloud my judgement. I should not have raised my voice with you. Forgive me."

"No, that's alright," Sora insisted. "I shouldn't have yelled either…" He became thoughtful. "But why would you be afraid of being saved?"

Eraqus closed his eyes. "I suppose I was terrified of finding out what became of the worlds and my students due to my absence. Or perhaps I just believed I didn't deserve a second chance at all."

Sora rested his hands behind his head and grinned. "Does that mean that you're not afraid anymore?"

Eraqus's eyes flickered open. "I suppose not." He smiled lightly.

"So you'll tell me how I can save you then?" Sora asked with a great deal of excitement.

The master crossed his arms and considered the request. "I have only read tales of saving souls. I never thought the concept to be plausible." He thought for a long moment. "Assuming that the heart and body are gone… I would say that your best chance would be to contain the soul in something that can take the place of both the heart and the body at once."

"What do you mean?"

"It would have to be something physical to take the place of the body," Eraqus elaborated, "but at the same time, that physical object has to be, in some way, shape, or form, like a heart. Perhaps the object should be something of great meaning, something both tangible and with immense sentimenal value."

Sora appeared lost. "But where would I find something like that?"

"I do not know. I assure you, Sora, what I've told you now is as far as I can help. The rest, if you're up to it, is up to you alone."

Sora nodded eagerly. "I'll find a way," he said without thinking twice.

Eraqus smiled warmly. "But do not forget, Sora. Your top priority is not my soul; it is your heart."

"Fair enough," Sora agreed with a laugh. "Oh! That reminds me. I need to start forgetting again, don't I?" His voice turned sheepish.

Eraqus walked down the stairs as he spoke. "That is correct. Do you wish to begin now or would you like to train first?"

Sora followed close behind. "Well I do have a lot to forget, don't I?"


After forgetting the remaining interior of Castle Oblivion, Eraqus called it a day without a training session seeing as how tired Sora appeared. They mutually agreed that the days to come would be the most harsh in terms of forgetting. That meant having to forget the people in the black coats, Castle Oblivion itself, and Naminé.

With this in mind, together they walked back to Sora's bedroom. Sora, in an attempt to lighten the mood, told Eraqus the story about the time he successfully touched a moogle's pom pom.

"...and now I know to never touch a moogle's pom pom ever again," he concluded.

"I never imagined the little creatures to have such a colorful vocabulary."

"Yeah, neither did I."

They entered his room.

For some time the two spoke more of their past experiences with moogles and their laughter filled the air. Eventually, Sora yawned. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Master Eraqus," he said as he sat down on his bed and stretched his arms.

The master nodded and turned away.

As he walked away, Sora called out a brief, "Goodnight."

And in return, before taking his leave, the master responded with a hesitant, but courageous, "Goodnight, Sora."