Author's Note: Sorry for the wait. RL has been up in arms lately so I haven't had time to upload a new chapter till now. Hoping to upload chapter 9 sometime this week and got chapter 10 in the writing stages.


Chapter 8.) Bloom


Detective Beckett sat at her desk grateful for the break. All three killers from their civil rights attorney murders had been caught and brought to justice but there were still some loose threads. They still had not caught her husband's killers and they still had not been able to catch Bracken who was somehow involved with all four murders.

As Beckett focused on her paperwork she was quickly distracted by a sharp pressure in her belly. She looked down in wonder as it happened again. She placed a hand on the spot where her twins had begun to move.

"Yo Beckett, you okay," Esposito asked as he registered the look on his partner's face.

"I think so," she said looking down as she felt the strange movement again. "It's the first time I've felt them kick," she said. Beckett then smiled, "Castle you should feel this."

But as she looked to his chair it was empty as it had been the past few months since his loss.

Ryan and Esposito both looked at each other and by the time they looked at Beckett she had realized her error. Tears began streaming down her face. Ryan and Esposito both looked at each other again unsure of what to do but it was Ryan who walked over and handed Beckett a tissue.

She dabbed her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said having no control over her tears, "You guys must be tired of seeing me this way: all emotional over my husband's death and emotional over the pregnancy."

"It is a bit weird," Esposito admitted jokingly.

"But I'm at least used to it," Ryan said with a smirk. Jenny was due in another month.

"Come on," Ryan said helping Beckett up, "Let's go to the break room."

"Everything okay out here," Gates asked near her door after seeing what was going on from her office.

"Fine sir," said Ryan, "Everything's under control."

Gates doubted that so she followed her three detectives to the room but before she went in Esposito stopped her.

He whispered, "She felt the babies kick and she wanted Castle to be the first one to feel them."

Gates nodded.

She took a seat on the end table in the room. "Detective, why don't you take the day?" Gates asked.

Ryan sat on Beckett's right side and was rubbing her back to sooth her.

Beckett shook her head, "I don't want to use up my days if I don't have to."

"Tell you what," said Gates, "I'll look and see if I can wrangle up a few more. You could really use it. Detective, is there anyone you can call?"

"I don't want to bother my dad for something like this and Martha is giving a guest lecture in one of Alexis's classes."

"I can give Lanie a call," said Esposito. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind and could get someone to cover."

Gates looked and nodded at Esposito so he excused himself to make the call.


"You don't have to do this you know," Beckett said as she sat in the front seat of Lanie's car.

"Girl you say that one more time I'm calling your mother-in-law or worse your dad."

"You wouldn't."

Lanie laughed, "Oh you know I would."

Beckett laughed knowing her best friend wasn't bluffing.

"Lanie, do you think you can take me somewhere?"

"Where did you think I was going?" She saw the look Beckett gave her. "Javi told me what happened when he called."

Beckett nodded not needing Lanie to explain further and not needing to explain herself.


When they pulled up to their destination Lanie helped her best friend out of the car.

"I have to do this alone," Beckett said.

Lanie nodded and smiled, "I know. Take as long as you need. Tell him 'hi' for me."

Beckett smiled as she made her trek along the headstones till she found the one she was looking for. She pulled out the chain that hung the rings. On it now hung her own wedding ring as it no longer fit her swollen fingers.

"I can't keep doing this," she said speaking to Castle as she fingered with only his ring, "but I can't stop either. Lanie says 'hi' by the way. You're probably hoping you don't become an obsession the way my mom did and you're probably right but this is a monumental time in our lives Castle, I'm sure you can understand that so I hope you won't fault me on the constant visits.

I felt the twins kick today Rick. First person I thought of was you." She wiped away some tears. "You should feel them, it's kind of weird from my end, feeling them move inside of me but amazing at the same time. I've seen the ultrasound, I've stepped up to maternity clothes, I have the growing stomach, but this is really the first time any of it has felt real.

I have a doctor's appointment in a couple of days. I'm told we'll be able to find out the sex of the babies but you told me about the mysteries in the world so this is going to be one of them but you probably all ready know don't you?"

She shook her head and looked up to the sky for a moment trying to clear both her head and push back her tears. She then brought her head back down to the stone. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this Castle. I've never been a mother before. It's different with Alexis because she's a grown woman. I know nothing about raising a baby, let alone two. I don't know how to do this without you." She wiped at her tears. "I guess if anyone is good at this whole single mom thing, it's yours since she raised the greatest son in the world. I love you Castle, always but you know that too."

Beckett kissed her hand and placed it on the headstone making her leave.

Visiting Castle was exactly what she had needed. She would always feel his loss but coming here, talking to him, made the pain subside to an extent that was bearable. She knew he was with her and that was enough for now.