Melting Ice
Chapter 9
Fen turned and ran, as fast as her legs would carry her. She had never, ever thought that Iceman could lose his cool like that and it scared her. Instinct told her that he was a fighter pilot, he did an aggressive job, therefore aggression was in his nature, but to her it showed a side she did not want to see. She admired him for his unshakability. The way he always weighed up a situation and took the correct course of action. To see him go for Slider, his reel and best friend had shocked her, and Fen Miller didn't shock easily. Ice had stood out against the others because he didn't lose his cool, and now it seemed he was no different after all.
She stopped a mile or so from where she had set off, breath heaving in her chest, she was physically as fit as possible, her job demanded it. But the combination of shock and sprinting for over a mile had taken its toll. She collapsed on the warm sand, listening to the waves. As her breathing calmed and her body recovered from the assault she had put it through she realised she was shivering, the sun had set and the night air was closing in. Fen stood and headed in the direction of the base, walking slowly as she eased her tired and aching muscles back to life. She knew the worse thing for her had been to run so far and so fast without a warm up or down and now her muscles were protesting.
Fen reached her quarters and let herself in, stepping straight into a shower. As the spray washed away the physical evidence of the day's events her mind replayed them cruelly. She fought the tears that threatened, she would not cry over him. It was over, finished, and she would go on. It would be hard, knowing now that he was staying to be an instructor but she could easily avoid him, Mav was staying and he would be her rock, like he always was.
Fen grimaced as the phone rang, she almost decided to ignore it but thinking it might be Maverick or Carole, she snatched up the receiver.
"Fen Miller" she said.
"You ok?" first guess correct, it was Maverick.
"Yeah I'm good" she lied, thinking it wasn't so much a lie because she would be fine "You?"
"Better than Slider" came the reply "It took four of us to get Ice off him, Fen where did you go?"
"Home" she replied, feeling guilty that she had deserted Slider, she should have at least tried to stop the fight "I don't need guys fighting over me Pete, it's pathetic"
"We've all been up against it, Slider knows how to push Ice's buttons, that's all" Pete reassured.
"Not the point, Tom Kaczanski is an ass" she snapped "He should be back in junior high"
"Fen…" Mav started.
"No Pete!" Fen unleashed some of the anger coiled within her "He's an asshole, like all the others. DO NOT defend him because he doesn't deserve it! It's over between us, I thought he was different from the others and I really thought that he had feelings for me, guess I was wrong, I'll live"
"He does have feelings for you, he was jealous as hell, that's why he did what he did. You'd have to be blind to not notice the guy's in love" Mav's voice rose an octave with frustration, Fen was so damned stubborn sometimes and he didn't want to see her throw away something good because she was too pigheaded to see the truth, even if it was with Tom Kaczanski.
"Yeah, in love with his ego or his reflection!" Fen spat "He just wanted a conquest and couldn't stand the thought that Slider might get in there too"
"Is that a possibility?" Mav asked, he had seen her flirt with Slider for most of the top gun school and had his doubts, Fen could be stupid and if Ice had scared her, she was quite likely to jump into Sliders arms, where she would be in control again.
"No" Fen sighed "I like Slider, he's fun, but I could never do anything like that with him, he's like an annoying but endearing kid"
Maverick laughed "Yeah he is" he said "But I had to ask, Ice scared you, you're running scared because you love him"
"I do not!" she defended.
Mav infuriated her by laughing again "Right" he chuckled "So you don't love him and he don't love you, that's why you're both miserable as sin, I could slap the pair of you, you're made for each other, so damn stubborn"
"I'm not miserable, I'm mad" she said hotly.
"Yeah, mad as hell because I've called you out and you know I'm right" Mav said with humour in his voice.
"Oh go to hell Pete Mitchell!" Fen shouted and slammed the phone down, the nerve of the guy! In love indeed, she didn't fall in love, not since 5th grade when she had her heart broken. She was mad because she…she knew Mav was right.
"Asshole!" not sure if the insult was directed at Pete Mitchell, who could read her like a book, or Tom Kaczanski who had made her fall in love without even realising it. She knew that giving in to temptation where he was concerned would lead to trouble.
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Fen groaned as there was a pounding at her door, damn Maverick, wanted to torture her some more where she couldn't slam the phone down on him. She ignored it, glaring at the door as it threatened to give way. Sighing like a teenager she strode over to the door and wrenched it open.
"Mav, I told you…" she stopped short as Iceman shouldered his way through the door, she could see a wild look in his normally calm eyes "Oh! Do come in!" she snarled "What you gonna do? Beat up on me too?"
Ice glared at her, feeling annoyed that even the sight of her as she was, eyes blazing with temper and hands on hips, she excited him, in more than a sexual way "Shut the fuck up Fen!" he snapped "I came to apologise"
"Really?" she was close to losing her cool, really close "Funny way of showing it! Barging in here like a madman and swearing at me!" she slammed the door to add weight to her statement.
"Slider really pissed me off" he said in a low and dangerous voice.
"You might wanna take another pass at that apology Tom" she snarled "Because it was worse than the first attempt!"
"I know you were just fooling about, but you already have my attention and more than I'm happy about, so you needn't flirt with Slider because it just makes me mad" he said, gaining control over his tone but his fists were still clenched.
"Who says I was fooling about?" she asked.
"Do not play with me Fen, you will lose" he held a hand up, but more to put a barrier between them than to ward her off.
"Lose what Iceman?" she questioned "Because I'm not exactly winning now am I?"
"I don't want this to end" he stated suddenly "I don't want to lose you" Fen could see by his body language what the statement had cost him to say, she could sense he felt as vulnerable as her.
"Do you honestly think that I want Slider?" she asked "Do you really think I'm that low that I would sleep with him while we are…well doing whatever we are doing"
"No I don't, I don't want to think that Fen, but history repeats itself and no matter how hard I try, I can't get you out of my mind" he dropped his eyes and his fists unclenched.
Fen walked into the small kitchen and took out two glasses; pouring a generous measure of whiskey into both she carried them through, handing one to him.
"I think you had better tell me what is going on Tom because I'm confused" she thought a moment and decided that if she wanted him to be honest, she had better be honest with him "And hurt. Yes I flirted with Slider before to get your reaction, but today it was just fun, he started it and I just played. I want to have fun Tom, not be constantly worried that you are going to flatten a guy I laugh with"
"I should never have lost it with Slider" he followed her to the couch, sitting heavily at the opposite end "Slider is pissed at me, and rightly so, but he knows why I did it and he understands"
"But why?" Fen was genuinely confused "I don't understand"
He stood and paced to the window "My reel, before Slider, we had been flying together since flight school, he slept with my girlfriend"
"Ice…" Fen tried to interrupt but he turned and cut her off.
"It didn't break my heart" he said "I wanted to kill him because there was something about her that I couldn't figure out, she played us both, but I didn't love her, I wasn't even that surprised at her, but him, I felt…betrayed"
"Well, your best friend bedded your girl, you would" Fen said "But that doesn't mean that I'm going to do the same"
"I had feelings for her, but they are no where hear how I feel about you" he looked her straight in the eye "I could fall hard for you Fen and I don't want to, it's easier thinking that you would rather go off with Slider"
"Well I'm not going to sleep with Slider to fulfil your self prophecy!" she said sharply "You scared me today and I'm not sure I like it"
"Me neither" he said, moving to cut her off as she stood and tried to move away from him "I really don't like that you can get me so screwed up Fen"
Fen looked up at him, fear in her face as he closed in "No Tom" she said "Don't do this"
"Don't you want to see where this can go?" he came closer and she could smell a mixture of tangy sea air and whiskey on him, close to she could see bruises forming from his fight with Slider "Where we can go?"
"I don't know" she said softly "I can't deal with scenes like today"
"You won't have to" he kissed her softly, pulling away when she didn't respond "I won't treat you like that again, ever" he promised, the look in his eyes undid her and when he kissed her again she responded strongly, wrapping herself around him.
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Fen awoke alone in her bed; it took her a few moments to realise that was wrong. She remembered the events of the previous day and that Iceman had been here should still be here. She rolled onto her front, and although she was disappointed to find herself alone, she had to smile at the night they had shared. It had been wonderful, hot and oh so satisfying. Tom had been everything he had been before, and more. Sitting up she smiled again, noticing that his clothes were still on the bedroom floor, flung in different directions, as were hers. Well, wherever he was he was naked and that was just fine with her. Before she could make a move the bedroom door was opened and he stood in the doorway, smirking for all he was worth and towelling his hair. She scowled at him playfully.
"How come your hair just looks the same without even seeing a brush and mine takes hours to do?" she whined.
"I'm standing naked in your bedroom doorway and you comment on my hair?" he raised an eyebrow at her.
"Well" she sulked "It's not fair" flopping back on the bed.
"You do wonders for my ego" he remarked, dropping the towel and sitting on the edge of the bed, circling a hand around her wrist and pulling her towards him.
"Your ego needs no stroking from me" she shot back grinning up at him.
"I'll have you know I'm very shy and insecure" he laughed.
"Yeah" she said sarcasm evident "Just like me"
He kissed her roughly, pinning her to the bed "You don't have a shy bone in your body" he said between kisses, finding that she had linked her hands across his shoulders as he tried to move and she wasn't letting go. He tensed and tried to pull away, managing to roll onto his back but still she had not let go.
"Ah ha!" she shouted triumphantly "Now, what should I do with you?" she said thoughtfully as she straddled his waist, grabbing his wrists and pinning him to the bed.
"I surrender" he said, a wicked smile playing on his lips "I'm yours to do with as you wish"
"Good" she said leaning closer, their chests meeting "I'm going to have a shower and you" she kissed him lightly "can make me some breakfast!"
"Unfair" he said as she got up and headed for the bathroom, leaving him prone on the bed "I'll make you coffee and buy you breakfast because I don't even cook for myself"
She looked at him as he looked at her, she could see dark areas all across his body from his fight with Slider and she frowned "Have you seen Slider?" she asked suddenly.
"I saw him yesterday before I came here" he sat up "Why?"
"I just wondered you know if things were right between you, he leaves today" she said.
"I know" he stood and started to dress, she took it that the subject was closed and left for the shower. Ice followed her with his eyes, running his hand through his now almost dry hair, although he sensed she wanted to push the issue he was glad she had left it. Explaining to Fen and making it up to her had been a hell of a lot easier than it would be to Slider, he couldn't seduce him into bed for a start.
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