AN: This is the chapter you've been waiting for! I'm so excited to be posting this! There are two flashbacks and I really like them. So some things you should know about this chapter.

The song in this chapter is The Secret's in the Telling by Dashboard Confessional! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT! IT INSPIRED THIS FIC. IT'S ON YOUTUBE.

You may want to re-read or skim CHAPTER 7 a lot of what is said then is weaved into this chapter.

There hella typos in this currently because I wanted to post have to be somewhere in 20 minutes. I will edit the typos later.

Chapter 10 will be up Friday

Thank you for the continued support and please leave me review. I LOVE LONG ASS REVIEWS BTW. You can't write too much lol, let me know what you think!

"Dude what do you mean you still haven't told her? Tour starts in two weeks and Gustavo says he's announcing the dates in three days. You need to let her know." Carlos was in disbelief. "She'll be pissed if she finds out from someone other than you."

Logan looked at his shoes and frowned. "I know. I'm just scared, things have been going so well between us."

"They sure as he'll won't stay that way if you never tell her." James pointed out.

"She invited me over for dinner tonight, just the two of us. I'll tell her then." He said begrudgingly. "I just don't want to ruin things."

"See the timing is good. Kennedy won't be around as a distraction. Where is she?"

"Her grandparents' house. I'm nervous."

Kendall patted him on the shoulder. "It's gonna suck when you tell her and when you leave but hopefully it'll go by fast. Everything will be okay."

"I hope so." He sighed. "I really do."

Logan stood in front the mirror fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. He has heading to Avery's in a few minutes and was looking for any reason to delay leaving. He was worried that she would be devastated about the longer tour pissed about him missing Kennedy's birthday. Things had been going so well and he didn't want to fuck up the relationship he was building with them. He sighed knowing he couldn't avoid it forever. He spritzed on the cologne Avery had bought him a few years back and hope that it would soften the blow. He gathered his keys and wallet from the table and headed to his car. As he walked all he could think about was how Avery had dropped unexpected news on him in the past. The pregnancy and wanting to keep Kennedy had been shocks to him, maybe it wouldn't be a disaster if he dropped a bomb on her. Of course he knew he was deluding himself but he could hope.

The drive over went way quicker than he had hoped it would, every light was green on his way. Perhaps this was a sign, he thought. That things would be okay. He parked and walked into the building and slowly climbed each stair. When he finally reached the door he knocked softly.

"Come in!" She called from inside.

Logan let himself in and shut the door. "Hey Avery."

"Hey, how are you?"

He wandered into the kitchen. "F-Fine, you?"

"I miss Kens already but being alone is nice." She turned back to the pan where vegetables were steaming. "I'm making homemade hibachi style food. Is that okay?"

Logan pinched and anxious face softened, she was making his favorite meal. "Of course, yeah. Thanks."

"No problem. I just wanted to say thank you for everything. It's been nice having you home."

Uneasiness roiled inside him, he hoped she felt the same after he told her. "Can I help?"

"It's pretty much done. You can set the table if you want."

Logan silently went to work placing plates and utensils on the table. As he laid them down he noticed how badly his hands were shaking. He clenched his fists and took a breath before finishing the table. He poured himself a glass of the wine that was on the counter and drank it quickly.

"No repeats of the other night." She joked, pointing her spoon at him.

He gave a weak laugh. "No, I just had a long day."

Avery was plating the food and frowned. "What happened?"

I'm leaving for another four weeks and missing our daughter's birthday. He thought before blinking rapidly.

"Just Gustavo being an asshole as usual. He was really obsessive over harmonies today."

"That sucks. You're almost done with album right?"

He nodded, taking his plate from her. "Yep, two more songs to go."

"I bet you're excited. I've secretly been waiting for the new album."

This caught him by surprise. "Really, you're more of a punk type."

"What can I say? I like the sound of your voice and the occasional pop song."

Logan smiled a little. She was being so nice and was happy. "I can probably get you an early copy."

"You should. You know I haven't been to a show since your first concert when you needed sponsors?"

"Really?" This hurt, that had been their first concert and Hawk had tried to sabotage them.

She nodded. "I remember because I had been hoping my morning sickness would chill out for once so I could go. You were so nervous."

The memory made him smile faintly. "W-Well maybe you can come to a show soon. I'll just buy the tickets and not sneak you guys in."

"You should!" She said excitedly between bites of rice. "Kennedy would love seeing her dad in person."

Logan busied himself with his food. It was delicious, she had made the rice, chicken and vegetables perfectly. The first time she had made it for him was when he came home from his first tour. They gone out to a restaurant before she was showing but she had been too far long to be seen with him.

"If Kennedy knew I had you to myself she'd be so jealous. I promised her you would be at work all weekend."

"I don't think almost four year olds understand jealousy." He thought fondly of his daughter. "But maybe we shouldn't tell her we hung out."

"But you forget she's our daughter. She's almost four going on forty Loge." Avery laughed and gave him a tiny grin. "She's loved having you home too."

"I've loved being home too." He picked at his meal. "I really have."

Avery sighed and looked wistful. "She's getting so big. She's turning four, I'm not old enough to have a four year old daughter but there she is."

"Yeah it is crazy." He said softly trying not to dwell on the fact that he wouldn't be here the day she turned four. "I remember she was born it was so scary and great all at once."

January 2011

"Hey baby, how you feeling?" He whispered as Avery stirred.

"Sore." She croaked out. "What time is it?"

He handed her a glass of water. "A little after 7 am."

Her eyes widened as she drank. "I slept that long?"

"You did just have a baby."

Avery smiled widely. "Can we go see her?"

"Sure, c'mon." Logan leaned down and wrapped an arm around her waist. "I've got you."

She winced as she got out of bed, leaning on Logan. "Shit, it hurts."

He tightened his grip and they hobbled out the door. "Take it easy, the doctor said you should try walking."

"I know but she should try pushing a giant thing out her body and see how she feels."

Even post labor Avery was still a sarcastic asshole. Logan chuckled and kissed her forehead. They shuffled down the hall and stopped in front of the glass window in the maternity ward.

"There she is." He pointed to a crib in the second row. "There's K-Kennedy."

Avery was quiet as she looked at the dark haired infant, her skin had darken slightly and she was less red faced. She wiped at her eyes swallowed a lump in her throat.

"We made her, that's like a real person."

Logan nodded and rubbed her back, trying not to give into the fear he felt. "Yeah."

"Are you sure we can do this?" She asked, her eyes not leaving the baby. "Can we be parents this young?"

Every instinct in his body told him no and that he should get away from this place as fast as he could. "M-maybe, yeah. We'll probably get used to it."

Avery grabbed onto his hand. "Let's hope."

"Everything will be okay." He tried to calm her down but he was just as scared. "We'll figure it out."

Neither of them spoke for a moment they just stared at the sleeping infant. She was so tiny and delicate. They were responsible for not fucking her up,

"A-Are you scared?" Logan asked softly.

She shrugged. "Terrified. But at least I have you."

November 2014 – Present

After finishing dinner and loading the dishwasher the two were spread out on the couch watching a movie. The bottle of wine was almost gone and Logan was counting on that fact to make it easier for him to tell her and make her reaction not as bad as he imagined. They were just barely buzzed but it was enough to make Avery place her lips on his neck and him rub his hands over her back. They were very handsy when they drank together. Logan kissed her felt sick, he was acting like nothing was wrong. Avery smiled into the kiss and was straddling his lap now. His hands slid up to her hair and he focused on the feeling of their lips together. If things didn't go well it could be a while until they got this close again. He pulled away and shifted uncomfortably. Avery climbed off and sat next to him, she took his hand.

"Are you feeling okay? You seem jumpy and nervous."

He shook his head. "No. I-I'm fine."

She looked unsure. "You're not pregnant are you?"

Logan cracked a smile and laughed. "No, it definitely doesn't work that way."

"Well neither am I so what is up with you?"

He wrung his hands together. "I haven't been honest with you."

"About what?"

The look on her face was so damn trusting and concerned. He couldn't hurt her. He spied his guitar across the room. He went over and grabbed it. He wet his lips, deciding he'd stall.

"I write songs."

She feigned a gasp. "Shocking a band member writes songs. Is that all? I'm sure they're good Loge."

He fiddled with the strings, he might as well share it, while she still cared enough to listen. He hadn't played this for anyone other than himself. He had written after he was called a deadbeat and finished after he went home the morning after they hooked up.

"Well uh, I've been working in this for a while, I started it after we fought and after we hooked up the other day. It's kind of about that and how you said this is our last chance to make things right. And about Kennedy and how w-we keep everything a secret from people, it's about u-us and how I feel about you." He was rambling. "Do you remember what we'd say to each other when would stay up all night with her?"

Avery's worried expression had melted into one of remembering and curiosity. "I won't sleep if you won't sleep."

February 2011

Logan's eyes shot opened and he blearily looked around for the sound that had woken him, He realized it was the screaming and wailing of his few week old daughter. He saw that it was only 3 am and he rolled eyes, he had work in the morning.

"Ave." He moaned. "Get the baby."

Beside him she huffed. "No you, I'm tired."

"I have work in the morning." He spat. "Get the damn baby."

He felt the bed shift next to him as Avery got up. "Fucking asshole."

He rolled back over and stuck his finger up at her. "Bitch."

They had been short with each other for the past few weeks. Kennedy didn't sleep through the night yet and it was constant screaming and Logan hated it. He hated never having enough sleep and always hearing shrill cries at all hours of the night. He would occasionally get up and feed or change her, especially when Avery was recovery from giving birth. But now it was a just a pain the ass to get up every hour or so. In the morning he'd feel bad for making Avery do it but in the moments when he was rudely awakened he'd use work as an excuse. They hadn't gotten along that well for a few days, cursing at each other and dirty looks were commonplace.

"Shh, just got back to bed sweetheart." He heard her coo. "Daddy needs to sleep and I can't deal with him right now."

The baby kept crying and Avery kept shushing. Logan could hear the irritation and desperateness in her voice.

"Please Kennedy. Daddy is going to be passive aggressive as hell." She sounded sad. "I just want us to be happy."

Logan felt shitty and got out of bed and pulled on his shirt. He walked into the baby's room and found Avery sitting in the rocking chair bouncing Kennedy.

"What are you doing up?"

He yawned. "It's not fair you're always up."

"One of us has to be awake to take care of her."

Logan leaned against the door. "Well I'm not going to bed."

"You have work, I'll just stay up."

"Babe I can do it."

She sighed. "Just go to bed, I'm too nervous to sleep anyways."

"Well then I won't sleep if you won't sleep."

Avery watched him sit down on the floor next to her. She shook her head and fought a yawn. "I guess I won't if you won't sleep either."

November 2014 – Present

Logan cleared his throat and started strumming. He hadn't sang in front of her solo for a long time.

"The signal is subtle we pass just close enough to touch. No questions, no answers. We know by now to say enough. With only simple words, with only subtle turns. The things we feel alone for one another."

Logan continued to play and Avery was listening intently.

"There is a secret that we keep, I won't sleep if you won't sleep because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given." They both smiled at this line, thinking if how they'd stay up and watch Kennedy. "We are compelled to do what we must do. We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden."

Despite the label not wanting Logan to have a family he did anyways. They had this secret between them that they shared, because it was something that had to do. They had wanted to be a family even though no one wanted them to be. This was his last chance to make things right for Avery and Kennedy.

"So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight. Our act of defiance, we keep this secret in our blood. No paper or letters, we pass just close enough to touch. We love in secret names, we hide within our veins the things that keep us bound to one another."

There was no evidence of Kennedy anywhere in Logan's life, no post online, no pictures, nothing. He kept her a secret deep within himself. He and Avery were bound together forever because of Kennedy. They would always be connected because of their secret. Avery looked sad and happy all at once as he repeated the chorus. She bobbed her along and Logan kept singing, trying to hold on to the way she looked at him.

"Until the last resilient hope is frozen deep inside my bones and this broken fate has claimed me and my memories for its own." He felt his face grow warm at the next line. "Your name is pounding through my veins, can't you hear how it is sung? And I can taste you in my mouth before the words escape my lung and I'll whisper only once."

That part had come to him after they had sex the other night. No matter where he looked Avery was everywhere. He loved her, of course he did. She was the mother of child and his friend. He had loved her for such a long time and hated how they could never be together. Logan had accepted the fact that until the secret came out they could only be friends. But there were fleeting moments when they were closer than usual. He lived for those.

"There is a secret that we keep, I won't sleep if you won't sleep because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given." He strummed harder and repeated the chorus. "We are compelled to do what we must do. We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden."

The song was almost over and he knew he couldn't stall much longer. A knot formed in him stomach as he sang the last bit at full force. He had to leave for tour, he had no choice. He was providing for his family and was doing what was best for them. He only hoped she'd understand.

"'Cause you will be somebody's girl, and you will keep each other warm." This bit was about how Avery and Kennedy always had each other. "But tonight I am feeling cold."

He put down the guitar and let out a shaky breath. Avery stood up and hugged him tightly.

"I l-love it." She whispered before kissing him. "Is about us and I-I love it so much."

Logan hugged her back and shut his eyes. His chest felt heavy and his eyes stung slightly. Avery pulled back and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

He looked at his shoes. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Um. I know I should have told you but I was scared and we, we were so happy. I love you Avery. Okay? I love you and Kennedy more than anything. I love being here with Kennedy and with you. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." His hand were shaking and he was dizzy. "I'm sorry, I just didn't want to fuck us up and-"

Avery put her hand on his shoulder, her brows furrowed. "Hey it's okay. What's going on?"

"Do you love m-me?"

"Of course I do. Logan you're scaring me."

Do it quickly. She loves you. He thought to himself. It'll be okay

"I h-haven't been entirely honest with you. Please don't hate me, I want to be a family."

Avery looked scared. "Logan what did you do?"

He shut his eyes and exhaled. "I'm sorry I'm trying the best that I can."

"Get to the p-point."

He ran a hand over his face and looked at her, trying to remember her before he hurt her.

"The t-tour. It's ten weeks."

AN: Avery knows! How will she react to the news?! Sorry for typos I'm in a rush to finish. Chapter 10 should be up on Friday! Please review and LISTEN TO THE SECRET'S IN THE TELLING BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONALS!