Sorry for the late arrival. And sorry that it is so short. I have been so busy writing stories for Harry Potter fanfiction that I haven't had time to write anything bigger. This afternoon I was getting ready to begin my new chapter on my newest fanfic when I read some of the reviews for this story. I felt so bad for taking so long that I immediately worked on the next chapter. I only wrote this in half an hour so sorry for any spelling mistakes but I have no time to fix them. I will probably go back later. I swear that my next chapter will be 5x longer. And definitely shorter update time. So sorry for all this and I hope you enjoy chapter 9. It is in Alice POV but hopefully in the next couple of chapters it will be Edward's since I have had some reviews and pm's that that is who we would like to see next. So I am working on it.
If Only…
"Sorry but I should be getting back to my room now. It's getting late," Anna stated after several moments of silence. I checked the time. WOAH! It has already been 6 hours; I guess that it wasn't just moments of silence. But I wasn't ready for her to go just yet. I really felt that we could be great friends' maybe even sisters.
She was just getting up to leave when I exclaimed, "Wait!" She turned around with curiosity shining in her eyes. "We can still hang around right? I mean we are staying here for at least a month. Maybe more." She looked at me for a moment. Expressions of surprise, happiness, excitement, disappointment, annoyance, guilt, sadness and then understanding crossed her face. I wonder why?
"Um thank you for the offer?" Anna stated as if it were a question, "I-er-guess we can meet up." She all of a sudden seemed so unsure and scared that I wanted to reassure her about not hurting her. I resisted and instead nodded my head and started bouncing up and down as I usually do when I am excited. Or at least used to…
"How about tomorrow? Hey I know you could be our tour guide." Rosalie and Esme nodded their heads in approval while Carlisle shook his head sadly. I pouted and he started chuckling, "No its okay Alice you guys can still go but I think that it should just be a girls day out because knowing you it will end up being a shopping trip and us guys can do without at least one of those."
I laughed along with him and was joined by the musical voice of Anna. "Yes your right Carlisle Rose, Esme, Anna and I…" Serene harrumphed, "Excuse me am I not a member of this family?" Asked her nasal voice so unlike any vampires I had ever heard.
I wanted to spit on her shoes and say she would never be a member of our family but alas the fates would not be so kind and so they made Edward glare at me at that given moment. So I rearranged my features into what I hoped was a convincing innocent smile and said, "Of course Serene, I figured that you would prefer to spend the day with Edward that's all."
She glared at me and then smirked as if Edward was better than all of us, "Well I think a day spent with Edward would be much more… uh lets say beneficial then spending the day with you and Rose. Sorry Esme but it's the truth."
I shook my head and said to Anna, "As I was saying I will meet you here at midday and we will go if that is okay." She nodded her head and a small smile crept up upon her face. She said good bye to my family and left with me escorting her out.
When she was out of hearing range my family and I got into another fight with Rose and I against Serene and Edward with Jazz and Emmett as our guards if the fight got physical and Esme and Carlisle trying to soothe the tension.
When the fight got out of hand Edward stormed out and Serene followed glaring at us all.
I was just so sick of Edward. He yelled and fought with us as if it was our fault that he demanded for us to leave Bella. He acted as if it was he, and only he that were grieving over Bella. Well newsflash for him but it wasn't.
If he was around more he'd realize that Esme never sang to herself anymore, Carlisle stayed out of the house as much as possible, Rosalie hardly ever snapped and was about as vain as a frog, Jazz couldn't even say the word Bella before almost collapsing in the pain that was coming from everyone else and Emmett didn't play pranks.
And if he couldn't realize that this was his entire fault then he should leave our family.
If only I wasn't stupid enough to believe that he was leaving for her own good.
If only I focused on her future for just a moment.
If only I snapped Edward out of it.
If only…
If only.
Well he could shove his superiority right up his ass.
I decided that I needed to hunt. Not only would it do me some good but it'll get my mind off of Edward.
I ran outside and went into the woods. They were beautiful of course. Though I shouldn't have been so surprised. Everything here was beautiful.
I kept on running before stopping.
I could hear faintly the noise of an argument.
And better yet it was Edward and Serene.
I could recognize her nasal voice anywhere.
I moved stealthily and might I add silently towards their fight.
I heard Serenes voice carry through the woods, "FINE EDWARD! I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP!"
Edward didn't reply and I could imagine that he was rubbing his nose with the tips of his fingers.
Finally I heard Serene huff impatiently and run off in the other direction.
I went over to Edward and sat behind him on the tree trunk that had fallen to the ground.
"I can't hear you." Edward muttered softly.
"What?"
"I can't read your mind. Anna must have kept her shield on you."
"Oh."
"You're right you know."
"About what?"
"About me being an inconsiderate jerk. I should have thought of the consequences before I left her."
He didn't need to say who her was. It was a given that I would understand.
"You're not an inconsiderate jerk," I muttered, feeling slightly guilty now, "I was just caught in the moment. You know that."
"Maybe, maybe not."
"Oh Edward," I cried and then gave him a huge, sisterly hug. It had been too long since we just sat down and talked. Just talked. Not argued, not fought.
Edward began dry sobbing and slowly after I did too.
"I just miss her, Al. So, so much. And Anna being here has just brought back those memories."
I thought back on it and realized that Anna had a lot of similar traits that Bella also had. Oh well, I'd think of it later.
"I know. I know," I murmured quietly as I consoled him.
I began humming absentmindedly what hurts the most, the song that Anna had sung at her first performance we had seen.
"Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"If you miss her so much, why do you stay with Serene? She is the complete opposite of who Bella was." I muttered the last word regretfully.
"Alice, you don't understand. Esme had started to pity me. You all had. I couldn't stand being pitied for something that I made happen. I had to show you all that I could be happy."
"How did you fool Jasper than? If you were never truly in love with her, than how?"
"He knows. Jasper, I mean. But I made him swear to not tell anyone, including you."
"How did he find out?"
"He was suspicious at first. My feelings were never strong for Serene and he guessed everything that I was trying to do when I first brought Serene in. I knew this so I started to think of how I felt for Bella. As much as it hurt me- no killed me- to think of her, I began to imagine her face on Serenes. Her voice. Her smell. Her everything. But one time I slipped. Serene said something that Bella had once said and I was nearly doubled over in pain. He confronted me about it and by then it was too late. I needed someone to hear me out."
We didn't talk much until a thought occurred to me, "Edward if you truly don't love her then why do you keep her 'round?"
"Alice, I can't just kick her out now can I? She loves me. More than I'll ever love her. I couldn't hurt her like that. I may not love her but I still have compassion."
Damn, I thought.
We stayed out there until it was dark and then we went hunting. It was nice to have a moment with Edward before Serene began yelling at us.
It was natural.
It was home.
If only Bella was here…
