Chapter 9: 3. Things You Said When You Thought I Was Asleep

Chapter Text

Hiroki had grown accustomed to Nowaki's warmth. Without him the bed seemed to hold a deadly chill and a wide expanse that could easily swallow him. Sleeping without him was damn near impossible, but he wouldn't ever admit it. Not only was this a horrible strike to his tender pride, but he knew that Nowaki would blame himself. Which was frankly idiotic. While Nowaki was uncannily bright, whenever it came to him, the strangest ideas got stuck in his head. Therefore, it was up to the older man to divert him from these said ideas.

He had taken it upon himself to pretend to already to sound asleep whenever Nowaki came home at odd hours of the night. The younger man would amble in trying his hardest to be as quite as possible, one of the thousands of qualities that Hiroki admired about him, and crawl into the bed still fully dressed. Hiroki knew his days wore him out, and he often wished that he could help him somehow. Never had he wished to as badly as that one particular night.

Nowaki was louder than usual, not as careful. Hiroki could hear his bags tumbling thoughtlessly to the ground with a thump before the man plopped down unto the bed and began holding the older to him tightly. That was unusual as well, considering that the normal Nowaki probably worried such movement would wake him.

The next thing Hiroki realized was wetness soaking his pajama top. When he focused he could make out tiny, quite sobs. Hiroki stiffened unsure of what to do. He longed to comfort him, to tell him that everything was okay, but he worried that Nowaki wouldn't want him to see him this way. He always tried to act so strong, as if showing weakness made him unworthy somehow. Though to be honest, Hiroki wasn't much different…

He remained still, listening for any signs to what had caused this reaction. Perhaps he could distill the problem later without letting him know he'd heard.

Finally, finally, Nowaki spoke, his voice cracking over itself. "Hiro-san, don't ever leave me." He released a wretched sob. "You're the only family I have."

Hiroki's heart simultaneously broke and melted. Nowaki always acted like being an orphan wasn't a big deal. He was used to it. Obviously, he was not. The older man felt guilt plague his heart, because he had so easily forgone ties with his own family. But somewhere along the line he too had come to think of Nowaki as family. Perhaps never in actual words, but when he heard the title it rang true within his heart. They were a family.

After what felt like an eternity, Nowaki's crying ceased and his shallow breathing hinted at sleep. But it was a far reach from Hiroki. All he could think of was what he could possibly do to give Nowaki the family he'd never had.