Me: -singing- Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way!

Fang: Saint, please! Spare me...

Me: What, Fang, not in the Christmas spirit yet?

Fang: I've decided to convert. I'm Jewish now. I celebrate Hannukah.

Me: Fine! I'll sing the Dreidel song!

Fang: Scratch that, I'm celebrating Kwanzaa.

Me: I'm sure I can find a song for that...-goes on YouTube-

Fang: You know what? I'm just gonna be an atheist this year...

Me: Fang! What would Mum say?!

Fang: Grrr...Fine...

Me: Oh Christmas Tree! Oh Christmas Tree!

Fang: How about you tell them your evil holiday plans?

Me: Oh, yes! I've decided that I should try and do some Christmas-themed stuff for December. You know, 'cause I can. I've got some Christmas-themed chapter ideas for some of my fics, not to mention a Christmas Song poll up that I would highly suggest voting on.

Fang: I might even have a Christmas Present lined up for people...

Me: Since when?

Fang: Since I can. And it's a surprise, so don't ask.

Me: Ok....You scare me when you say stuff like that...

Fang: How about you just write the chapter?

Me: -glares suspiciously- Fine...

A Special Thanks To: Fangalicous08's (AKA: Skittles) Iggy, for the wonderful, unofficial visit we had. And I'd like to apologize for shoving him through a magical portal back to Skit's house, but frankly, as a fellow kidnapper, I couldn't let him just walk away. Nice try though, Ig. And nice job making Fang paranoid, too....

Also to Vera Amber's minkles, for the albino minkle fur.


Saint's POV

"We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

"Why the Hell is Quil singing Christmas music?" Fang asked me from where he stood, playing with Christian who was in his playpen in the corner.

"Fang, don't you ever look at calenders?" I asked him as I organized papers on my desk. It's December! The Christmas Season! I asked Quil to sing those kinds of songs, for crying out loud!"

"You asked him to sing those annoying songs?!" Fang asked. "Are you crazy? Wait, don't answer that." He added as I opened my mouth to answer him. "Saint, I thought you were supposed to cure him of his singing problem, not encourage him."

I shrugged. "Quil's a lost cause, anyway. Might as well get some use out of him."

"And what use is this?" Fang asked, plugging his ears for a second when Quil hit a bad high note. Someone really needed to inform that wolf-boy that he was so not a soprano...

"To get everyone in the Christmas Spirit!" I exclaimed. "Duh!" I bent down to reach for something under my desk. "Fang, what do you think I was doing in the storage attic of the center today?"

Fang shrugged. "Hiding the dead bodies for the Mafia again?"

I shook my head vigorously. "No, no, I stopped doing that for them a while ago. It made such a stink..."

Fang's eyes widened. "Saint, I was kidding...Nevermind. Alright, what were you doing in the storage attic, since I'm sure you're going to tell me anyway."

I lifted a large box out from under my desk. It was an old cardboard box, brimming to the top with various Christmas decorations. "I was getting some of my Christmas decorations out! This is just the stuff for my desk and office. Just wait 'till the OCs and I start decorating the entire center!"

Fang gave me a look. "You know, I think I'll spend this month hanging out in the Labyrinth."

I shrugged. "Fine by me, but you'll need to go to the attic and get the longest string of Christmas lights. I'm sure Jareth could use the help. Every year, he tries to see how much of the place he can decorate before Christmas. He has a record to beat, you know."

Fang groaned. "Nevermind! I'll just...Well, go anywhere where your little Christmas insanity can't find me."

I looked up at him, shocked. "Fang, don't you have any Christmas Spirit?!"

"Bah, humbug." He said jokingly.

"Well, fine." I said, starting to take things out of the box to start decorating. "Be a stick in the mud. In the meantime, the rest of us will enjoy the fruits of the holiday. Just, do me a favor and don't ruin Christmas for Christian. It is his first Christmas, after all."

"He's not gonna remember it, you know." Fang pointed out.

"I don't care if he does or not!" I told him, wrapping a garland around a lamp. "We are going all-out for his first Christmas and that's final!" I pointed at him. "And you better not screw it up!"

Fang rolled his eyes. "Alright, Miss Susie Lou Who, whatever you say. In the meantime, I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and cherish what little time I can get away from you."

"Fine." I snapped, placing a miniature tree on my desk.

"Fine!" Fang snapped back, walking out and slamming the door behind him.

The door opened back up a couple seconds later. "You know, I think you guys should consider marriage counseling.

"Can't, Ig." I told Iggy as I decorated my mini-tree. "We're not really married."

"Yeah, but you fight like it." He pointed out, walking into the room farther. "That's gotta count for something."

I nodded. "True, true. Now, why are you here? And which Iggy are you, anyway? Skittles', M.G.'s, or Bell's?"

He grinned. "I'll give you a clue." He started singing. "All I want for Christmas is two in a Snuggie!"

I rolled my eyes. "Skittles'."

He nodded. "You betcha'!"

"Ok, well, what are you doing here, then?"

"I heard you were getting ready for Christmas, so..." He explained. "I wanted to come and help out a bit. Plus, Skittles and I wanted to work out who was going to get Justin over the holidays."

I nodded, digging through my Christmas decoration box again. Where the Hell was the fake snow? "I think we can let Justin pick where he wants to go. I'm sure he'll be happy with either of us. We could always each have him half the day, too."

"Sounds ok to me." Iggy said. "Now, does Fang have a stocking to hang by the chimney yet?"

I shrugged. "Probably not yet, but I'll get him one, that's for sure."

Iggy reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, holding it out towards me. I walked over to take it as he said, "This is for his stocking. From me, to darling Fangles."

I took one look at the paper and raised an eyebrow. "Iggy, this is a letter stating Fang has to appear in court for a child support hearing."

"Yep." Iggy replied, grinning. "We'll definetely get the money out of him this time."

"Iggy, you're supposed to put nice things in Christmas stockings."

He shrugged. "It's nice for me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go hang up some Christmas decorations of my own..." He walked out of the room.

I just shook my head, smiling when I finally found the bag of fake snow. I'd have to send him back to Skittles later...


Fang's POV

Well, now I have a whole new reason to stop eating in the cafeteria. Well, besides all the jokes they make now about how I 'better stay away from those cupcakes', that is...

Saint's overdramatic Christmas Spirit has infested that place as well.

Specials Today: Egg Nog Shakes, Gingerbread Hobbits, Peppermint Stick Ice Cream, Mrs. Claus's Famous Cookies, Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, and Dancing Sugardrops.

I made my way back up to Saint's office, still hungry because I hadn't wanted to try to force the Christmas Spirit down my throat. I mean, I didn't hate Christmas or anything, but why did she have to turn it into such a huge event?

"Hey, Fang."

I nearly jumped, not realizing anyone was near me. I turned around to the source of the voice. "Oh, Iggy. Hey."

"Hey." He said back, grinning in my direction.

"How'd you know it was me walking by, anyway?" I asked him.

He shrugged, still grinning. "I can recognize the way you walk, sometimes. Or your breathing..."

Ah, creepy Iggy. "Shouldn't you be with Skittles right now?"

"I...Took a short vacation to come see my favorite Flock member."

"Well, Gazzy's not here." I said, turning to leave.

Suddenly, Iggy reached out, somehow grabbing my arm and spinning me around, dragging me closer. "No, Fang. You're my favorite Flock member."

"You know, you shouldn't play favorites." I said, struggling to get myself loose from his tight grip. "What are you doing, anyway?"

Iggy just grinned at me once again and pointed up.

I followed where he had pointed and saw that someone had taped sor weird, green plant to the ceiling. Ok...

"You ever hear of mistletoe, Fang?" Iggy asked me.

It dawned on me just what that little plant was.

"Oh, crap."


"Don't even talk to me." I said as I stormed into Saint's office. I flopped into one of the chairs, having to throw a Santa-shaped pillow out of it first.

"What now, Fang?" Saint asked me.

"Well," I started to say, looking up at her. Then I froze. "Saint...What....Uh....Where's the Cloak of Doom?"

"Oh, I switched it for this more festive one." She said, twirling to show off her new red cloak with white fur on the ends of the sleeves and on the hood. "It's nice and warm, and the fur is from albino minkles. The minkles weren't killed, off course. They shed it."

"Albino minkles?" I asked. "Those ferret creatures of Vera's come in albino?"

Saint just shrugged. "Obviously. Anyway, what's your issue?"

All my anger came rushing back to me. "Well, Saint, thanks to your little 'Christmas Spirit', I just narrowly escaped being raped by a hormonal Iggy in the hallway!"

Saint shrugged again, sitting down at her desk, which now had a miniature winter town on it, complete with snow. "Fang, when you mess around with people like that and have children with them, they don't tend to go away."

I rolled my eyes. "For the last time, Justin isn't mine!"

"Look, Fang, can we deal with this later?" Saint asked me. "I have a very important client coming in soon."

"An important client?" I asked. "Who the Hell is so important that my potential molestation has to wait?"

Suddenly, the office door swung open, the wind gusting snow into the room. Wait...Wind? Snow? Indoors?

Then, the client stepped in. He was wearing huge, black boots, an XX-large red jacket, and looked like he hadn't shaved in a while. As soon as he saw Saint, he let out a laugh, his belly jiggling like jello.

"St. Fang of Boredom, it's good to see you again." He said.

"And you, too, St. Nick." She replied. "Always a pleasure to work with another Saint."

St. Nick.

Santa Claus.

Why me?


Me: You know, I was just gonna have this be one chapter, but I guess I'll be writing two...

Fang: Joyous...

Me: Joy to the World!

Fang: -headdesk-

R&R?