"It's about Kensi," Sam added and Deeks felt his heart sink.
"What about Kensi?"
Oh God, don't say it. Please don't say it. I knew this was too good to last.
"Kensi – well, she acts tough and gives this whole impression that she's bombproof, but underneath – she hurts. She's had a lot of bad things happen in her life and…" Callen looked at Sam. "Want to help me out here any time soon?"
"What Callen's trying to say is that you can hurt Kensi more than anyone ever has." Sam didn't see any point in beating around the bush. Tell it like it is and then get the hell out was pretty much how he chose to live his life. Which probably accounted for his less-than-stellar track record on the relationship front – something Denise was determined to change. She'd been making pointed comments about "couples counselling" recently. And Sam knew that, sooner or later, probably sooner, she would have her way and he'd be sitting in some room have to talk about how he felt. And there was no way he could avoid it, other than getting the plague or something equally unattractive.
Deeks looked bemused. "Hurt her? Why would I ever hurt Kensi?"
"If you leave Kensi, it will probably kill her," Callen amplified. "And then, basically, Sam and I will kill you. We're just saying, alright? Just so you know."
"But why would I leave Kensi?" Deeks continued, trying to work this one out. At least they weren't telling him Kensi wanted to finish with him. "I love her. I pretty much want to spend the rest of my life with her."
"Just don't hurt her, then," Sam said.
God, if only life was that simple. Why can't I take my own advice?
"Just make sure Kensi knows how you feel, okay?" Callen added. "Because the whole thing with Nico has really thrown her off-kilter. She needs to know that you arenot going to walk out of her life and leave her like her Dad, and Dom and Jack all did."
How come this sounds so easy when Nate does it? I'd rather be facing a dozen armed terrorists than have to speak to Deeks about things like emotions. I don't do emotions – I'm G Callen, I'm a man and emotions are a foreign language to me.
A small smile began to creep across Deeks' face. "How about I go and put on some REM? "Everybody Hurts" should be the sound-track for this angst-fest, right?"
I thought they were going to tell me Kensi was leaving me.
"Nico is my friend – she's probably the best friend I could ever have. But Kensi is my life and I'd do anything for her. If anyone hurts her, they will have me to answer to – not you two, but me. Understand?"
They nodded, intensely relieved Deeks had taken over the conversation.
"As far as relationships go, Kensi and I, well, we're both pretty screwed up, so maybe we need to - I don't know, talk about it? Anyway, I'll make sure she knows I'd do anything for her and that I'm not going anywhere. Because, she's pretty much my whole life, you see." He dropped his eyes and studied the carpet intensely, suddenly embarrassed.
I know what it's like when you feel that everyone you love leaves you, guys. Believe me, I know what that feels like. And I also know what you are trying to say – that I can probably hurt Kensi more than anyone else ever has – but it cuts two ways. And it's far too early in the morning for all this.
It was time to move the conversation into safer, less personal areas. At least until he'd another gallon of coffee. "Does Kensi know you're in here, giving me the third degree?"
"Hell no!" Sam winced at the thought. "And if you tell her…" He let the end of the sentence tail off.
"I'm dead meat. Message received." Deeks got up to take that long-overdue shower when another thought struck him. "Kensi doesn't have any idea how much you guys care, does she?"
"Probably not. We don't really do the whole "pour your heart out" bit as a rule."
"I can tell. You really could do with refining your act down a bit more. Especially you, Sam. You do realise that in a few years' time you're going to be sitting Crosby down and doing this whole thing with him?"
Now, that was a truly terrifying thought. But there were some things that needed to be said, that you couldn't ignore. Sometimes, you had to listen to your heart talking.
