Tales of the Rotten
A Love Hina Fanfic by MagicianXV
Mutsumi Otohime was having a rather nice day, aside from having had to dodge a truck, bus, and a falling helicopter some hours earlier. She had awoken rather late, and taken a long, warm bath in the hot spring. There had been the usual morning entertainment during which Keitaro, in his uniquely adorable fashion, had stumbled into the bath, tripped over Narusegawa, and subsequently been propelled over Hinata at mach three. Mutsumi never grew tired of seeing this.
"He's so graceful when he flies," she sighed, picturing the mind-numbingly cute expression of terror that Keitaro's face always wore after contact with Naru's fist. "Elegant and streamlined...the picture of poise and beauty."
She walked on for a while, swinging her bag happily and waving to some very friendly boys on the sidewalk who whistled and hooted as she passed. Everyone was so wonderful at this time of day, and especially when she wore her favorite shirt. It was the most comfortable thing she owned, and people were always so nice when she had it on.
"Mutsumi!" She drifted back to reality and looked around. "Mutsumi! Over here!" She turned and saw Seta trotting up, his van smoking quietly a dozen or so yards away, parked at an intersecting angle with a tree.
"Oh, Seta-san! How are you?" she asked, feeling quite overjoyed to see him. He smiled in a way that reminded her of Keitaro.
"I'm pretty good. Just had the best crash a few minutes ago, it was really spectacular. Did you see it?"
"No," Mutsumi admitted, "I'm afraid not. Was it wonderful?"
"Absolutely! I must've racked up three hundred points on that one, what with the old ladies and that guy in the wheelchair. Then the cops, too, they were about fifty apiece." He paused for a moment. "Come to think of it, I must have almost four hundred points today after that helicopter I crashed earlier. The guy on the unicycle was probably worth around sixty."
"It sounds like you've had a very memorable day," said Mutsumi, beaming. "You're so talented, Seta-san!" Seta blushed at the compliment, while his van exploded cheerily. The shrapnel hit a gas main and that exploded too, taking roughly a city block with it.
"Nah, I'm just lucky." He raised his voice a bit to be heard over the shrieking pedestrians and secondary explosions the gas main had triggered. "And I have some experience under my belt. I'd say you're a lot more talented than I am, actually." Mutsumi blinked in surprise at the compliment.
"Me? However do you mean?" She stepped quickly to one side, allowing a flame-engulfed, yowling cat to run by.
"Well..." Seta scratched thoughtfully at his unshaven chin. "You're very smart, for one thing. You got into Tokyo University with a perfect score, that's something to be proud of." Mutsumi thought this over and nodded; in the distance, some fire trucks arrived to try and extinguish the devastating blaze. A backup gas line suddenly caught fire, and the resulting blast leveled the rest of Main Street. "And you have excellent taste."
"You really think so?" No one had ever paid her that particular comment before.
"Of course! That shirt, for example. It's so nice and airy, and when the firelight light hits it at just the right angle..."
"I suppose it does set off my eyes," Mutsumi said, flushing and fighting a terrible urge to giggle. The cat ran by again, this time tailed by some smoldering raccoons.
"And you've got such wonderful melons there, too," Seta added. "You always have the best melons around." Mutsumi opened the bag she had been swinging and had to admit he was right; she did have a good eye for picking out the best watermelons.
"They are very good, she agreed. "They were the biggest ones at the market." Incidentally, what was left of the market caught fire just about then.
"Oh, if they were mine, I sure wouldn't have sold them," Seta said gravely. "Melons like those? They're huge! And so firm, too."
"I also have lovely some cantaloupes," Mutsumi told him, pulling a couple out of the bag and holding them up for inspection. "See?"
"Oh..." Seta nodded enthusiastically. "That certainly is a fine pair of cantaloupes. I can't remember when I've seen better."
"Neither can I!" Mutsumi said happily. "See how big and round they are? And if you thump them, they've got just the right amount of echo."
"I always enjoy thumping," said Seta, still nodding. " And you're quite right, they are big. If I had a pair cantaloupes as nice as those at my disposal, I could thump all night long."
"I have lots of other fruit back at Hinata House," Mutsumi offered, putting the cantaloupes away. "Grapefruits, and coconuts, and some strawberries too. Would you like to see them?"
"Hm..." Seta thought it over. "Do you have any whipped cream? I don't usually like strawberries unless I have cream to go with them."
"Oh, absolutely," said Mutsumi, shouldering her melons and cantaloupes. "I always keep a few extra cans around for emergencies."
"Then in that case, I can't think of anything I'd like to see more," Seta replied earnestly, and they walked off together, illuminated by the moon and the flaming skyline of Tokyo.
