Chapter 9

Wake Me Up

Quinn was having a terrible nightmare again. She was fidgeting in her sleep. Quinn was normally very still when she slept other than shifting every once in a while in her sleep but tonight that was not the case. She was twitching and moving her head from side to side while her body kept jerking every few minutes in her sleep. Her dreams had been pleasant the last few weeks but tonight a nightmare plagued her.

She'd just gotten home from her class courses at the police academy and went straight to her room. She'd noticed the car in the driveway and knew her father was home because it was his car. She tried to make sure they didn't have a confrontation by going to her room as quickly as she could. Just another hour and her mother would be home and then things wouldn't be as bad. Her mother was the much more reasonable one between the two and she often showed she cared in small ways but it wasn't enough for Quinn, not when she was suffering in silence. It wasn't enough if Quinn had to endure the abuse of a man who was a drunkard more often than not and he abused her physically and emotionally.

"Quinn!" he had yelled from wherever he was in the house. "Come downstairs! We need to talk!" So he was most likely in the kitchen. Quinn was frightened by the sound of his voice, the tone in which he spoke to her. "Quinn! Now!" he called only a moment later, barely giving her a chance to take so much as a step before yelling again. And then he was stomping up the stairs and she ran to her door and locked it with fright. And then there was a frightening pounding on the door and from the sheer force of each blow she knew he was using his body to slam against it in an attempt to open the locked door. "Open up now! I want to talk to you about something!" He was shouting, he was yelling, he was angry sounding and he was terrifying.

Quinn pushed her body against the door in an attempt to keep it closed so her father couldn't come in. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins as she continued to strain to keep the door from opening despite its locked state. Eventually though he slammed so hard that the door's knob came loose and Quinn fell back several steps away from the door from the impact. The door slammed open and hit the wall next to it with a loud bang echoing in the large house. The looming figure of her father with his fists clenched at his side caused a shiver to run up Quinn's spine. The angry look in his eyes caused goosebumps to crawl up Quinn's arms as fear overtook her senses easily. For a single moment they just looked into each other's eyes before his body twitched with movement causing Quinn to react to him immediately. She grabbed his wrists with her hands and tried to keep them from rising up to where they wanted to be: around her neck. Quinn was fighting a losing battle.

Before Quinn could understand what was happening she was on the ground and there were strong, warm hands around her neck. The warmth radiating from those hands were entirely deceiving because they were doing a terrible deed. They were the hands that were supposed to comfort her and make her feel safe and secure. Those hands that she used to hold onto when she was a child were now around her neck and squeezing harshly with a firm grip that she couldn't loosen no matter how hard she struggled. Her hands were useless because she couldn't breathe. She was choking, gasping, trying to force air into her lungs with very little success. How long had it been now? A minute? Two minutes? Five? Quinn didn't know how long it had been but she was losing consciousness very quickly because there was no air in her lungs to save her from her father's strong hands. She had stopped struggling several minutes ago and now her consciousness was fading fast. Her head throbbed from the feeling of losing life saving oxygen from not only her lungs but from her brain as well. She could barely feel her heart beat thrumming quickly through her chest in a vain attempt to keep her alive.

A loud noise could be heard echoing in the mansion of a house but Quinn merely heard a soft thump. A darkness was coming over her still, almost lifeless, body as pounding footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent air thundered up the stairs and the scene unfolded in another set of eyes. And the last thing Quinn was conscious of was the feeling of air rushing back into her body as she gasped it in greedily. And then all consciousness was lost. In her mind she was screaming, "I need help! I need somebody right now! I'm not breathing, I don't know what to do … I need help!" but she knew there would be no help, no one saving her. She knew that help was not coming and that she was surely going to die.

Rachel was shaking Quinn's shoulders gently and Quinn was twitching, fidgeting, and jerking in her sleep. There were tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes as she cried silently in her sleep. Quinn's constant tossing and turning had woken Rachel up because she slowly became aware of her pillow, Quinn's chest, moving around and around and it woke her up. At first Rachel wasn't aware of the reason for her gradual awakening but the more alert she became the more aware she became of Quinn's unsettled sleep. Quinn's head was turning from side to side, her breathing was erratic and shaky, and Quinn's upper body kept shaking with her twitching. Rachel wanted to wake her because it seemed like Quinn was having an unpleasant nightmare from the way she seemed so disturbed in her sleep.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered urgently into her ear as she continued to shake her gently in an attempt to wake her up. She started shaking her a little bit more urgently when Quinn continued to sleep in her uneasy way. Quinn was blatantly uncomfortable in her sleep and it showed in the way that she continued to shift and twist about in a fitful sleep. She started to shake Quinn's shoulder a bit more forcefully when there was a sudden loud gasp pouring forth from dry lips. "Quinn?" Rachel whispered into the still air that followed such a loud, deep gasp for air. Quinn shook her head from side to side in an almost practiced motion and her eyes were squeezed shut as tightly as possible and she had brought her hands up to her neck. It all worried Rachel greatly. "Quinn, are you all right?" Rachel asked in barely more than a hushed whisper.

Quinn appeared startled to see Rachel leaning on her side next to her. "What … when … I don't," there was no clear sentence to be seen because Quinn's thoughts were erratic and scattered from having just woken up from a nightmare. She was expecting to still be in her world of vivid horror and unspeakable pain because of her sudden jolt to awareness. She had been expecting to wake up in the ICU in a coma like she had after her night of terror and almost death. She had brought her hands up to her neck instinctively upon realizing she was awake and they were still there, checking for phantom bruises that no longer existed. Quinn was still in a frightened and fragile state of mind as it was but Rachel's presence alone soothed her to the point that her heaving, deep breaths slowed down within moments.

"Quinn, you're safe. I'm not going to hurt you." Rachel was so concerned with the Quinn she was seeing, a side she had never seen of Quinn before. She had seen Quinn trigger into a past traumatic event once and then it wasn't nearly as bad as what she was seeing before her. Rachel didn't like seeing Quinn so terrified and broken. "Come here Quinn … let me hold you?" She didn't want to scare Quinn off and back into whatever world she had been in and so she phrased it like a question. She wanted to give Quinn a choice in the matter because Quinn looked like she needed to realize where she was and that she was safe. The best way to give Quinn a feeling of security was to give her the feeling of power over what happened to her. Quinn had a wide eyed look of alarm in her beautiful golden emerald eyes, full of emotions. "Please?" Rachel tried once more with a slight pleading in her voice. Quinn's eyes darted about the dark room before landing on Rachel once again and the wild look in her eyes had calmed down to an almost peaceful look. There was an underlying fear in her eyes as she looked into Rachel's eyes with a deep and meaningful look.

"Okay," she whispered finally, her voice sounded broken in how it nearly cracked while the single, lone word left her lips. As soon as that word left her lips Rachel was holding her in warm, safe arms and laying her head against her soft chest and Quinn blushed slightly at the feeling. Quinn's heart was still beating wildly in her chest, that Rachel's presence could not cure her of however soothing her aura was for her.

They just lay in silence as Quinn's heart slowly calmed down to the beat of a regular heartbeat at rest. Quinn was careful to keep her hands on the small of Rachel's back rather than doing a stroking motion her body urged her to do. Rachel had been humming a tune that Quinn vaguely recognized into the otherwise silent air. After several more moments of just soft humming Rachel broke the silence to speak.

"I know that you have been seeing a therapist after I suggested you seek help and I'm very proud of you. I just want you to know that Quinn … and that even if you can't tell me what happened, why you've become so traumatized … I'm here and I always will be. I thank God everyday for bringing me into your life … for allowing me to come to know someone as amazing as you despite how damaged and broken you've become because of whatever terrible deed has been done to you to hurt you so much." Rachel took a deep breath before continuing in a soft whisper that left Quinn breathless for a moment. "No matter how late into the night it is or wherever I may be I will always be willing to listen to you and comfort you in whatever capacity you need me to comfort you. I'll be whatever you need me to be whether it be a friend, a colleague, a confidant, a partner, or just as me, just Rachel."

Quinn's heart melt a little further into the puddle it had slowly become since she first started noticing Rachel. When they first met Quinn's heart had been similar to a block of ice; unyielding and strong but with a few weaknesses to be found. Warmth could melt her and chisels could chip away at her and Rachel was the warmth that was slowly melting her heart of ice with every moment they spent together in this condominium alone. Quinn hadn't realized it but the things she had found annoying were just things she instinctively sought out as things she disliked for a reason to dislike this person she knew she shouldn't like.

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to gather up her strength to keep her voice from cracking and shattering like it so desperately wished to. "Thank you … for your kindness and for being so … caring to someone like me. I'm not … I'm not the easiest person to get along with because sometimes I am mean, harsh, and downright cruel. You can ask anyone at the station and they'll tell you that I can be all of those things sometimes when I'm not being distant—"

Rachel interrupted her heatedly. "You don't know what everyone else thinks of you Quinn! Don't say things like that!" Rachel was almost annoyed by Quinn's self-deprecating ways but she had a soft spot for Quinn that she didn't understand herself. "I know that Brittany and Santana aren't the only ones who care about you and see you for who you really are! Kurt might call you a fierce bitch but you know he means that in a good way. Sam and Puck treat you as if you're they're sister! Mercedes, Mike, and Tina all think of you as a close friend! Will treats you like you're his daughter by doting on you and treating you to your favorite coffee from the Lima Bean every morning! Even Sue has a soft spot for you and she doesn't seem to like anyone all that much other than her deceased sister!" Rachel had moved so that she was supporting her weight and looking down at Quinn sometime during her passion filled speech. Rachel wasn't just speaking to say something … she was making a point to Quinn. "Why can't you see the good in you?" Rachel whispered softly in a voice that made Quinn's arms become alive with the feeling of goosebumps and alertness.

Quinn had to pause briefly to give a politically correct answer, as had been ingrained in her brain for so long. "I don't have much good qualities that I can see. I'm rather ordinary and plain so there isn't much to be proud of." What Quinn didn't realize was that this was not only going to not placate Rachel but it was just going to make her even more passionate and heated in her quest to quell Quinn's self-deprecating nature in some way. Rachel was a considerable force to be reckoned with on a daily basis but Quinn fueled the fire with more than just wood … she doused it with gasoline and alcohol as far as Rachel was concerned.

"There are absolutely many things for you to take pride in and see the good of in you Quinn!" This was the closest the two had ever gotten to in terms of an argument in the last month Rachel had been living with Quinn. Things were heating and escalating quite quickly between them. "Don't you understand what you mean to me? To everyone at the station?" Quinn's eyes were squeezed shut tight as she lay on the bed, hearing every word Rachel was saying. "You have nothing … to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl Quinn … you're the prettiest girl I've ever met but … you're a lot more than that." Rachel was pleading for Quinn to listen to her, to really hear her out and take her words at face value. Quinn didn't understand why it was that Rachel was, and had been, so kind to her ever since they first met. She had known many of the people at the station since she herself was in kindergarten. Rachel however was kinder to her than any of her last 24 partners in the last 6 years she had been working. Rachel was number 25 in the string of partners because for the most part her partners transferred within the first three months of working with her if they lasted that long. There had been a few who stuck around for a little past the three month mark and some who had lasted much less time than that.

Quinn didn't understand kindness in the form of someone who was practically a stranger to her in terms of how long she had been working with her and had known her overall. Santana was wary of Rachel and all of the power she held over Quinn. Quinn knew that she took things too personally every time a partner transferred and it plagued her with tension and high levels of stress just thinking about it. Quinn had been taught by her family not to trust anyone and their intentions because no one in the world did anything just because they were inherently good. She had been taught from a young age that the only people who would ever look out for her and do anything good just to be nice were family. And that even that seemed like a lie after everything her 'family' had done to her in her life. They lied, they cursed, they drank passed numbness, they fought, they abused, they screamed … they did everything wrong to each other. The only one who had ever shown her any mercy had been her older sister when she had helped Quinn hide when she was younger. Quinn's sister, Francine, had been the golden child … the one who did no wrong and so she was able to protect Quinn and shield her from some of the pain that would have otherwise been inflicted upon her. Francine knew she was the favorite because she listened while Quinn would rebel and she would pay the price for it. As soon as her older sister saved up enough money she moved out with her boyfriend into an apartment away from the stifling Fabray household. Quinn didn't have the luxury of her sister saving her anymore by the time she turned twelve and she experienced a hell worse than she could have ever imagined.

Quinn experienced so much pain and torment in the next six years without her older sister being around to protect her. Francine couldn't take being in the stifling house anymore and so she left as soon as an opportunity presented itself to her. Quinn felt abandonment issues from knowing that her sister had escaped whereas she could not for another six years. The next six years of her life nearly cost her, her life and she was never the same again after something as detestable and horrid occurred to her, happened to her, because of her father's hatred. The daughter who could no wrong did the one thing that was wrong to her father and she was not allowed in the house again without him being present in the house itself once she left. She left with what their father considered 'good for nothing trash.' He had said many times how she went out of the house found trash and brought it back home in the form of her boyfriend Julian T Ungerman. Quinn didn't have someone to help her out of her parents' house like her sister did and by the time she was finally able to leave she had become someone she didn't even recognize. She had become someone so cold, distant, and aloof and so very broken hidden behind her cold façade.

When Santana had first seen her again after not seeing her for two years, between the ages of twelve and fourteen, Quinn had undergone a radical transformation. Santana didn't recognize her at first not just because Quinn was older than she had remembered but she was also so different from who she remembered. Quinn's face had changed and matured in the two years but most of all her aura and presence had become so unlike whom she had seen two years before. At first Santana had thought she had gone to the wrong house to visit Quinn only to hear her name from the stoic blonde. There was an underlying brokenness that Santana couldn't even see until much later on. Brittany was very intuitive when it came to the emotions others were feeling and how they were on an emotional plane and it was sometimes psychic how she could see things others missed. It was as if Brittany had a sense that came with being unable to articulate things in a way for most other people to understand her and she made up for it entirely with her uncanny intuitiveness.

Quinn was so lost in her world that she was startled when she felt the softest lips pressing against her cheeks in a soft, reassuring kiss that left her breathless. All of the air escaped Quinn in a rush and all she could feel was the warmth that spread throughout her body, encasing it in a warm flame. It was a feeling she had not ever felt for anyone she had ever dated, though those numbers were very low to begin with, and it left her feeling a rush in her body. Quinn was left speechless from all of the feelings that rushed throughout her body swiftly as a result from that simple, single touch. It ignited a fire that had been a mere candle flame and it became a roaring fire.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked hesitantly, full of reservation and nervousness. She had no idea where the reassuring soft press of her lips against her now too warm cheek came from but a flicker of hope flashed in her eyes and in her heart.

Rachel was looking into her eyes and there was so much emotion in the warm brown eyes that she was slowly falling for. There was so much to see that she felt herself drowning in the eyes of the person she found herself falling for little by little with each day they spent together.

Quinn wanted to be brave, wanted to lean those scant few inches forward to connect their lips, but a part of her knew that now wasn't the time to do something like that. She didn't know what Rachel's feelings were and just the week before, when they had been watching movies on Saturday, Rachel stated that she didn't believe in love. Rachel had outright told Quinn that she didn't think true love existed in real life and that it was just something that the media made up to profit. It was something that Quinn had felt more than a little disappointed by and it made Quinn think that any possibility of a relationship happening between them didn't exist. It was something that Quinn could tell would be a deciding factor in whether or not Rachel would date anyone ever again … let alone give her a chance at finding happiness with the petite powerhouse diva.

"Yes Quinn?" Rachel's breath hitched at seeing all of the emotions swarming in the beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to be an intense jade green in the stark darkness in the room with the sparse moonlight reflecting in them. Rachel had never seen more beautiful eyes in her life and she felt mesmerized by their incredible and majestic beauty. There was something in those eyes that made her fee breathless and her heart race under the intense feelings that shone through them. "What is it?" Rachel asked almost breathlessly.

Quinn's eyes darted over to her right to look at the clock located on the nightstand next to her bed briefly before looking back at Rachel. "I … well it's 5:42 right now and … well since we need to be in the station by 8:00 I thought I would take a shower now and then … I wanted … well there was … is something I wanted to talk to you about. I want … I want to tell you something very important … that is if … you know … erm," Quinn took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm her nerves down. Rachel was surprised to find that Quinn didn't have morning breath when her cool, minty breath reached her face. She would have to ask how Quinn managed such a thing later because Rachel felt self-conscious about her own breath at the moment, knowing without a doubt that it smelled of morning breath. "It's … quite personal but … if you don't mind listening … I would like to tell you about what happened to me … what caused me to become … how I am now."

Rachel gasped upon hearing Quinn's request. Rachel was blown away by the trust that Quinn seemed to have for her because she knew that Quinn didn't entirely trust anyone in her life and the most trust she had for anyone one person was for Brittany and Santana. She wasn't sure why Quinn seemed to trust her so much when they had only known each other for little more than a month at this point but she was entirely flattered. Rachel nodded her head before giving a verbal response. "Of course I would be willing to listen to whatever you have to say to me Quinn. I am more than willing to listen … to hear what you have to say to me. Always, Quinn." Quinn smiled warmly at Rachel for her kindness.

They just looked at each other for another few moments before Quinn interrupted their staring with a cleared throat and a sheepish look on her face. "Um … I would like to shower now …" Quinn said awkwardly. Rachel blushed slightly in response.

"Oh of course! Go ahead Quinn!" But Rachel failed to realize that she was blocking Quinn's exit by nearly lying on top of her form as she was currently.

Quinn's pink cheeks continued to increase in blush until it was a full blown red color on her warm cheeks. "I … sort of need you to move … so I can … um … get up Rachel." Quinn squeaked at the end with her extreme embarrassment and her realization that Rachel was so close to her, so close that just a few inches more and she would be kissing her soft, moist lips.

Rachel's cheeks flamed at the sudden realization and she moved back abruptly upon the realization truly setting. "Oh! I'm so terribly sorry Quinn." Rachel quickly pushed her body to the side and Quinn immediately missed the warmth and the pleasant pressure that had been Rachel's body on top of her own, pressing deliciously together.

Quinn got up slowly while she thought. One of Quinn's ways of releasing stress from her sometimes overwhelmingly stressful life was singing a song that matched her feelings while she was in the shower. Right now, though she was hesitant to do it with Rachel being in the room adjacent to the shower as it was. Quinn grabbed a change of clothes and a towel from her dresser drawers and made her way over to her bathroom without another word.

She was standing outside of her shower, waiting for the water to warm before she stepped in. She made her decision as she stood under the gentle spray of warm water. She needed to sing now more than ever after what had happened, after the nightmare she had seen occurred once again. The nightmare that was the day that wouldn't stop haunting her, wouldn't leave her be no matter how many years had passed.

Skies are crying

I am watching

Catching teardrops in my hands

Only silence as it's ending

Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like,

There's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears

I awaken and untangle you from me

Would it make you feel better,

To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken

But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run

I'm gonna stay right here

Watch you disappear, yeah

Go run, run, run

Yeah it's a long way down

But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper oh whoa~

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper~

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

And by the end of it the liquid running down her cheeks wasn't purely water anymore. Quinn sighed as she washed her hair out and closed her eyes tightly and tried to regain control of her flowing tears and rein in her emotions.

Once her hair was clear of all of the shampoo suds and her body was somewhat relaxed from the feeling of the warm water gently beating down over her tense body. Quinn reached over to the brush on one of the grooves on the side of the shower made for placing shampoo bottles and other various shower things. She brushed her hair out while the water ran over it. It was something Quinn started doing when she was younger because she found that it made it easier to brush her hair while water helped in getting the tangles out more easily. Brittany and Santana were the only ones who knew about this habit of Quinn's and at first Santana, when she initially found out, had made fun of Quinn for it. It wasn't in a mean way but she had thought it to be something rather strange in a funny way. Brittany just thought it was a good way to keep her hairbrush clean and that it was smart of Quinn to do so. Quinn herself just thought nothing of it and told Santana that it wasn't a big deal and that she was sure other people did it too.

Quinn dried herself off with the towel slowly as she thought about what it meant to live with these nightmares. "Wake me up before the dream ends … wake me up before it becomes a nightmare. Please … just wake me up before I die again." Quinn spoke so softly she could barely hear her own voice. Quinn didn't want anyone to hear her silent and soft pleading … she wondered if her Lord and Savior could hear her prayer. He never answered in all of the years she prayed for something, anything, to change … for someone to save her. Each year her faith became shakier and shakier until she didn't know who she was even praying to anymore. She was sure that if there was a God then he surely would have done something to save her. She had never prayed for a miracle before … only for someone to be sent to save her from the nightmares of going insane from all of the pain. "I'll forget you, I'll get over you, just you wait because I'll show you … I'm gonna be better even without you in my life. You make me go insane, you give me so much pain, and I won't be back again." Quinn was singing softly when she heard the distinctive sound of Rachel's nightly routine. Quinn could only smile to herself as she heard Rachel's vocal exercises.

Quinn was glad that there was a chance that Rachel hadn't heard her singing but then she realized that there were vents in both of the bathrooms and the bathrooms were built next to each other. There was a very high chance that Rachel had indeed heard Quinn singing if she was in the bathroom when Quinn was showering. That left Quinn feeling unsettled and nervous that she had, possibly, shown her vulnerable side to Rachel yet again. Quinn often found herself uncomfortable with how much she revealed about herself when it came to Rachel because of how introverted she was. She had taken much more time to even reveal half of the shit her father had done to her to Santana and that wasn't in vivid details even then. She didn't think Santana would take it well, as most anyone wouldn't, and she feared that Santana would take drastic measures to ensure her father pain double what she experienced. That would have just caused Santana problems in the future and she would never have been able to become a detective if that had happened let alone a police officer on the force. Quinn didn't want any of those things for Santana and so she held back the majority of the gruesome details from one of her best friends.

Here and now though, Quinn found that she was willing to divulge such secrets, such terrible things, to someone who was practically a stranger compared to her best friends. She'd only known Rachel for barely more than a month, just six weeks, and she was already ready to spill the deepest darkest secrets in her closet. She didn't know what was more frightening: the thought of how much she was coming to like and trust Rachel, or the fact that she was entrusting the ultimate secret to her while barely knowing her. On the one hand she could pass the thoughts off as wistful thinking and the secret revealing as just something that Rachel made her feel. Rachel was very easy to talk to and she was a very good listener and she gave great advice. She really was very much what Quinn had imagined her other half to be without even realizing it, without trying to be it for her. Quinn couldn't decide if she liked this development or not.

Before Quinn was completely prepared for the talk she was about to have with Rachel the door opened and revealed a freshly washed up Rachel and Quinn's tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth and her lips were dry. Rachel was wearing a tank top that barely covered her assets and shorts that were criminally short. Quinn knew that if they were still in high school that those shorts would have definitely not been school appropriate. Quinn's lips, tongue, and throat were all oh so very dry at the sight of the tan brunette. She was quite a vision to behold on a daily basis as it was but now … with her so vulnerable and carefree about what she was wearing … it was driving Quinn crazy with desire. Desire was something Quinn had never really experienced before in her life. She had only ever had two very serious relationships and even then she had been younger than all of the people she had dated and so they all held her back at arm's length. Her most serious relationships had only lasted little more than half a year each and even then she had never known true desire. This was something she had never known existed … this feeling of absolute need and desire. Quinn let out a pained grunt after having run into something.

Rachel immediately went into action having heard such a noise come from her. Quinn looked down to see that she had run into the corner of her desk and tentatively touched her thigh. She hissed upon realizing that there was most definitely an open wound on her thigh. She saw the light sheen of red coating her fingers and looked away quickly. She didn't like the sight of fresh blood and this time was no exception. Quinn was more than a little uncomfortable at the moment and she was on the verge of passing out when she felt an arm wrap around her waist to help support her. They both walked over to the bed quietly as Quinn tried to keep her mind off of the blood that was running down her leg slowly now. Rachel set her down on the bed gently and quietly asked where she kept her band-aids and went to retrieve them upon hearing the blonde's answer. It should have been a quick and painless affair but it seemed like more than several minutes passed as Rachel wiped the blood off and cleaned the wound with sanitizing wipes. Quinn, though quite a bit pained, held back any whimpers or cries that wanted to weasel out of her throat by squeezing her eyes shut and holding her breath.

Before more than two minutes could pass by Rachel was done and putting away the little band-aid kit and sanitizing wipes. Quinn took the time it would take for Rachel to put it back to take a few calming breaths and decide how much she wanted to tell Rachel and how detailed it would be. She was just going to wing it and see how that went. This was her story and she would tell it however she wanted to and if that meant telling in gruesome, vivid details then that was what she was going to do.

"Rachel," Quinn started hesitantly. She licked her dry lips and took a deep breath to compose herself. "What I … well I … the thing is … I wanted to tell you something very serious because … for reasons I can't explain … I trust you implicitly. There is just … something about you that I … that just, somehow, makes me feel trust for you even though I've never felt it with anyone else in my life." Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes with unspoken trust and there was something dynamic, magnetic, and gravitational about the look Quinn was giving Rachel. It pulled Rachel in deeply with something akin to the gravitational force of the sun, keeping the entire universe aligned as it did.

"Okay." That single word was heartfelt and reassuring and it gave Quinn the strength she needed to tell Rachel everything about her home life. It gave her the strength to reveal just how abusive the environment she grew up in was from the way her father gave her very violent beatings to the way he called her nasty names no child should ever have to endure. The moment of truth was the life changing event that occurred when she was nearly killed almost seven years ago.

"I … I've only ever told two people about this my entire life. I think … well I'm sure you know who those two are without me having to say anything."

Rachel nodded and whispered, "Brittany and Santana," to which Quinn also, subsequently, nodded in answer to as well. Rachel had been quiet and attentive throughout Quinn's tale of horror. Rachel looked extremely pained and sympathetic toward her but otherwise said nothing to interrupt Quinn's terrible home life.

"There was … a day … that," Quinn paused and tried to regain the strength and confidence that she had started with. Rachel's hand immediately came out and held onto Quinn's other hand and squeezed both hands gently and encouragingly. Quinn closed her eyes and drew strength from that gesture alone to try and continue on with her story. "I … had just gotten home from my classes at the police academy and my father … the moment I came home I knew he was in a foul mood. I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that he was angry, that there was something in his entire demeanor that felt livid with fury. He was tense and I could feel it the moment I came home. I didn't have to see him to feel it. I ran to my room immediately and before even a moment could pass … he was yelling for me and it was only another moment before he was coming up after me. And then … I locked the door because I could hear … I could feel his footsteps thundering up the stairs to my room. Before I could even step back from the door there he was … pounding on the door to try and open it to get to me." Quinn was visibly shaking and there was redness to her eyes though no tears fell from the beautiful hazel that shone with pain and fear. There were so many vulnerabilities for Rachel to see that it almost shocked her to see all of the emotions showing through someone normally so stoic and unflinching like her.

Rachel pulled Quinn into a warm hug that left her feeling so much comfort in all of the sorrow and pain she was feeling from recalling such a horrid event. Quinn definitely needed the comfort and Rachel could fee her need and fulfilled it in the only way she knew how: by giving her the warmth of closeness and kindness. Quinn felt herself calm just enough for her tears not to fall down slightly red cheeks.

"I know … whatever it is you must say … I know that it is difficult to say. Know this Quinn: I will listen to whatever you have to say but if you can't tell me, if you don't want to, then I understand completely and I will still be here regardless of what you have to say next. You don't owe me any explanation and whatever it is you need to tell me you can say without worry that I will judge you for it. I will be whatever you need me to be." Quinn knew that Rachel didn't understand what it was she was offering to her by saying that and it made Quinn's heart ache in a different way. She took the pain and turned it into strength.

"He tried to kill me." Those five words left her dry mouth with the weight of a boulder crashing through a forest and creating havoc in its wake. Rachel let out a gasp as Quinn continued, "he tried … to choke me and … I … I-I lost consciousness and I woke up in a hospital." Whatever Quinn was about to say next Rachel never expected to hear let alone imagine it could happen in real life. "After ten days of being in the hospital I found $100,000 in my savings account." From Rachel understood of that statement her father had basically bought her off so she wouldn't call the police. He bought her silence. "I didn't want the money but I couldn't tell him to take it back and I still, to this day, don't know why he gave it to me. He had never given me money before other than for birthdays, holiday celebrations, and as a college fund only because my mother always told him to do so."

Quinn looked as lost as she felt and Rachel could see it clearly. She didn't know what to say to make it better but she knew she could say one thought that struck her mind as a possibility.

"Maybe … some part of him felt guilty for what he had done to you and he was trying to make up for it by giving you something you would need." Rachel said softly with only slight hesitation in her words.

Quinn didn't know what to believe but she certainly couldn't rule out the possibility that Rachel was right. She wasn't a psych major whereas Rachel had begun college as one. There was one thing Quinn knew for certain though: she was never going to ask her father to find out what his reasons were.

My sincerest apologies for this taking so long but I've been so busy working that I just couldn't find the time to write this! I actually would have finished writing this last week but my six days off turned into four days because I had to take someone's shifts because they called off of work! Well it's out now and it's a little bit longer to make up for how long it took. Again sorry and please review, pretty, pretty please?

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