Author's Note: I apologize for the delay in posting, there was one section of this chapter I couldn't seem to get right. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story.
She felt like she was pushing through a thick fog with a soft incessant beeping beside her.
Pushing through the fog, she relaxed slightly as the weight that seemed to constantly press down on her soul momentarily lifted.
It was as if she didn't have a care in the world.
Other than that annoying beeping that kept her from drifting into a restful sleep.
She kept her eyes shut as she regained consciousness, sighing in relief at the comfort of the small blanket draped around her was tucked in tighter around her.
"Henry, can you sit here and watch your Mom? I'm going to step outside for a second." Hotch's voice asked softly.
Her sluggish mind stopped, confused. When did Hotch get here?
She heard the door open and shut softly. Barely peeking an eye open with all the strength she could muster, she was surprised at the white expanse that greeted her.
A hospital?
Her eyelids drooped heavily, but before losing consciousness once more, she had one brief thought cross her mind.
How did I get here?
"Chief Watson." Hotch greeted the DC Chief of Police grimly with a handshake. The balding, white haired man nodded softly.
"I just heard," The Chief shook Hotch's hand. "I can't believe we let it get this far."
Hotch closed his eyes in grateful relief. Someone else could help him throw Will out of JJ's life like the piece of trash he was. "Thank you for your help."
"I mean, I told La Montagne that crazy wife of his was going to get him into trouble, and now the guy's got to spend a night in jail because she's one bird short of a coo coo's nest." The police chief groaned, "And now a great officer is going to have that on his record for the rest of his career."
"Excuse me?" Hotch asked, his voice low as pure rage boiled inside of him.
"I mean I get it, we need to protect victims." The man rolled his eyes at the last word, "But just last year I had an officer whose wife was schizophrenic yet he was charged with domestic violence. It's just not fair."
"Not fair?" Hotch sputtered, completely floored at the man's comments.
"Like I said, it's a shame he didn't take care of this before."
"I don't care what the hell you think you know," Hotch exploded, his tone nearly as deadly as the fire in his eyes, "But you blind imbecile are exactly the reason why this has been able to go on right under your idiotic nose."
"I don't know what you think—"
"You know what I think?" Hotch spat incredulously, "I think you are the most incompetent man I've ever met. One of your officers, a police captain, has been terrorizing his family and you've promoted the bastard."
"La Montagne is a good officer." The Chief defended, "I would know if one of my men—"
"You would know?" Hotch snorted sarcastically. "Sure. But I tell you this, you either approach the district attorney about filing charges, or I will." He promised deadly, "Because there is no way in hell I'm going to let that man come near Jennifer Jareau."
"Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?" The man asked, obviously offended, "I've been—"
Hotch pushed the man forcefully toward JJ's room, stopping lest he allow anyone affiliated with Will to permeate the protective barrier he had set up. Gesturing toward the still unconscious figure that could be seen through the glass window, he growled protectively. "That shows me you have no idea how to do your job."
The man shifted uncomfortably at the sight of the woman he had genuinely come to like with obvious bruises beginning to form on the side of her face. "La Montagne wouldn't do this. There has to be—"
"She's got a five inch scar along her shoulder blade." Hotch spoke softly, effectively cutting the man off as Chief Watson strained to hear, "Five inches." He shook his head, "And that's just the beginning."
Chief Watson gulped as he tried to force away the thought of what this woman had been through. The sight that tugged on his own heartstrings, though, was the way the seven year old boy sat protectively by his mother's side. Chief Watson had his own boy the same age. No son should have to sit by the bedside of his mother, hoping she would wake up.
"Talk to the DA about filing charges." Hotch repeated, his low voice almost daring the Chief to disagree with him. "If you don't I will."
JJ cursed herself as she jumped at the light knocking on the frame of the door. "JJ, I'm Sarah. I'm a client advocate with the hospital. The hospital asked me to come and talk to you. Is it okay if I come in?" The woman asked softly with a hint of tenderness as if she was afraid JJ would skittishly run away.
JJ nodded quickly, not really wanting the company but sensing that this woman would likely just come back. "Talk to me about what?"
The other woman, a brunette in her mid-to-late 30s, smiled kindly as she gestured to the seat at JJ's bedside. "Is it okay if I sit?" She asked gently.
JJ shrugged, reluctant to allow the other woman to approach her bedside and pepper her with questions she didn't want to answer.
Sarah paused at the chair and waited until JJ gave her permission to seat.
Seeing that she was only dragging this on longer, JJ relented. "Of course, sit down." She gestured to the chair and watched as the other woman sat down at the seat that Hotch had implicitly claimed at her bedside.
"How are you feeling?" Sarah asked, genuinely concerned.
JJ smirked, well aware of the woman's diversionary tactic. "Foolish." She smiled, hoping to get this conversation over with.
Really, she just needed to do whatever she could to get out of this hospital.
Will would be so angry.
Because they didn't have the money for her to be running to the Emergency Room all the time.
She cringed involuntarily at the thought—hopefully he wasn't still mad.
So lost in her own thoughts, she suddenly realized the other woman had asked her a question. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I asked you what makes you feel foolish." The woman smiled patiently.
The lies flowed out of her mouth before she could even try to stop them. "I'm a mother of a seven year old and I forgot to read the directions." She smirked self-deprecatingly. "I swear, embarrassing accidents only happen to me."
"Is that what happened? An accident?" The woman asked gently.
The smile froze on JJ's face. "Why—why would you ask me that?" She sputtered, feeling the heat rise up her cheeks. "Of course it was an accident."
"What ma—" The woman began to ask calmly, but was cut off immediately by the woman in the hospital bed.
"It was an accident." JJ insisted firmly leaving no room for argument.
"That must have been hard for your son to see." Sarah mused conversationally, grateful the adorable little boy had joined Agent Hotchner down in the cafeteria. She didn't miss the way JJ bit her lip as if disgusted at the thought of what Henry must have seen.
"Yeah." JJ's voice cracked though she desperately tried to keep her emotions at bay.
After a moment, Sarah prodded again. "I heard he even called your friend." JJ closed her eyes and the other woman tried one more time. "He is a very smart little boy."
"He is." JJ choked, her eyes welling with tears that she tried to hide.
"It must have been scary for him to—"
"What do you want me to say?" JJ exploded angrily. "That I'm a horrible mother? That I put my child in danger?"
"Is that what happened?" Sarah asked gently, her voice free of judgment.
"It was an accident." JJ reaffirmed, though admittedly less firmly.
"What was an accident?" The brunette asked.
JJ bit her lip. "I don't know." She deflected.
Sarah sighed, "JJ, everything we talk about here is confidential and nothing you and I talk about will leave this room with a couple of exceptions—"
"I know." JJ huffed as she rolled her eyes, well familiar with the confidentiality limits. "If you think I'm in danger of hurting myself, if the court requires you to disclose information you are required to. I get it." JJ bit out in annoyance before smiling with the calculated control she had perfected after years with the FBI. Smiling deceptively at the woman, she exuded a confident air she didn't feel. "Really, I just want to go home."
Sarah leaned forward, smiling kindly at the younger woman. "I am also required to disclose information if I think a child—your son, in particular—is in danger."
JJ's heart lurched. "How dare you suggest that my son is in danger?" JJ could feel the tears burning behind her eyes, "I—it was a mistake! I—it was an accident!"
Seeing how easily this conversation was turning in circles, Sarah was more unnerved that JJ seemed only interested in deflecting each question and never really providing answers. However, Sarah had been doing this far too long to be knocked off her game by a simple redirection. "That's what we're here to talk about. If you can tell me what happened we can get this entire thing cleared up."
JJ bit her lip, unusually unsure of how much to divulge.
Truthfully, she didn't know what she remembered herself.
How much could she say?
How much did she still need to hide?
"What do you need to know?" JJ asked after a moment.
"What do you remember?" Sarah asked kindly.
"I'm not sure." JJ admitted truthfully, coughing involuntarily as her body reminded both women of the illness that sparked the incident in the first place. "I came home from the clinic yesterday. Dr. Bernstein said I had bronchitis."
"Is that the last thing you remember?" Sarah inquired, inwardly wincing at the thought of her client losing almost an entire day's worth of memories.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" She shouted angrily, "I just want you to leave me alone! I want to go home." JJ huffed, slightly embarrassed that she had lost her temper so easily, but growing increasingly worried at the thought of Will coming home and finding her missing.
She needed to get home.
"I can't do that JJ." Sarah refused to back down, exhibiting the fierce determination that had always helped her succeed. "The doctors in the Emergency Room found injuries on your body consistent with abuse. The hospital won't allow the doctors to issue your discharge papers until we have a talk."
"I don't remember!" JJ shouted finally, tears of frustration starting to pool at her eyes. JJ shook her head. "I gave Henry dinner, I made him Spaghetti." She counted off her night quickly, "and then it's gone."
Sarah waited patiently for JJ to continue her rant.
At the silence, the words of frustration spilled out of her mouth where in normal situations "I'm going crazy!" The tears brimmed at her eyes and spilled over, unrestrained, "I can't remember."
"You are not going crazy." Sarah assured. "That's perfectly normal after traumatic experiences."
"It wasn't traumatic." JJ shook her head immediately.
"How do you know it was not traumatic if you can't remember what happened after giving your son dinner?" Sarah asked, her tone genuinely confused despite having been through similar conversations time and time again. "Maybe it was so traumatic that you blocked it out?" She suggested.
JJ's face fell as she shifted uncomfortably against the over-starched sheets. "It's not what you think."
Sarah nodded, pausing to give JJ time to collect her thoughts. "It's not what I think?" She repeated gently.
"No." JJ huffed.
"Then why don't you explain it to me so I can understand?" Sarah asked sincerely.
JJ blanched, surprised that the woman seemed unwilling to argue with her. "I—" She struggled to come up with an explanation that would satisfy the persistent woman. She sighed in defeat, "I don't know."
"JJ," Sarah sighed, catching JJ's eyes in her own bright brown orbs, "do you know what abuse is?"
JJ shook her head immediately defensive. "Of course I know what abuse is. I'm not—you're wrong. It's not—"
"JJ," The woman's voice dropped and JJ stopped to listen to Sarah's words, "abuse is intentionally doing something that causes sexual, emotional, psychological, or physical harm or neglect." The genuine smile that graced her face faded on Sarah's lips. The adept social worker didn't miss the way that JJ flinched involuntarily at the suggestion of physical harm.
JJ bit her lip nervously, "He—he didn't mean to. It was an accident."
Sarah, who before then had been mindful not to touch JJ lest she startle the blonde, leaned forward and grabbed JJ's hands. "No, JJ." She shook her head softly, gulping down a swell of empathy as tears sprang to JJ's eyes. "It wasn't an accident. We both know that."
JJ closed her eyes and for just a second wondered what it would be like to expose this dark secret, to bring this dirty laundry to the surface.
She could be free from this, it could be over.
But she would be humiliated.
Because she wasn't the type of woman to get caught in a volatile relationship.
Victims were supposed to be poor. Victims were supposed to be uneducated. Victims weren't supposed to know any better.
And Jennifer Jareau as not a victim.
"He just…I just mess up some times. He really is a good guy." JJ murmured. Opening her eyes, the fierce determination she had thought was long forgotten had returned. "It was an accident." She insisted with finality. "Now can I go home?"
The social worker sighed, not particularly enjoying this part of her job. "No JJ." She sighed, "If you go back with Will, CPS might be forced to remove Henry from your custody."
JJ stared at the woman, gaping in disbelief. "You wouldn't dare."
"JJ, I will do anything to make sure that a child is not in danger." Sarah sighed seriously. "Now, is there somewhere you can stay? Some place you feel safe? If not, I can give you the name of several shelters in the area."
"There's only one place I feel safe." JJ admitted, her voice no larger than a whisper. "But I don't know—"
"Wherever you feel safe." Sarah assured.
