Chapter Nine

I am sneaky. I am sneaky enough for this, Ymir chanted in her head. I'm a sneak!

She talked tough and, given her mad existence as a titan, she would bet money on her being certifiably tough.

But sometimes she still got scared.

A 70-plus year old should not get scared. A titan shifter should fear even less – but she was both, and still frightened. For Historia and the future she might not even believe in.

Darius Zackly was an early riser, earlier than her. She'd judged him a fat sloth, but she'd already been wrong.

She had to succeed. She couldn't fail Historia.

Surely he would need to take a piss soon. Or eat. Or something. Ymir scowled at the conveniently open window below.

Darius' headquarters weren't easy to approach, as she had anticipated. But when you were familiar with 3-D maneuver gear and rose before dawn, you could find yourself leaping into a tree taller than most buildings.

So here she was, six hours later, watching him pore over documents and meet with boring Military Police. How the guards hadn't noticed her, she didn't know, but most likely the phrase "Military Police" explained that.

But even If they were the laziest of all, Ymir doubted she could scramble into his closed window without them noticing. Dammit.

Today, Ymir decided, was dedicated merely to observation.

The door to his office opened. With a curt nod, Darius summoned a Military Police girl with honey-colored curls. She couldn't have been older than the 104th.

Ymir's eyes narrowed. This girl was animated. Too animated. Her cheeks flushed, her arms waving about, tears in her eyes.

She doubted this related to Darius' attempted kidnaping of Bertl, but Ymir found it almost entertaining.


"I wouldn't help anyone without my superior officer's command, sir," squeaked Hitch. "I promise I'm telling the truth!"

"I've gathered three affidavits to the contrary." Commander Zackly gestured to the papers on his desk.

Maybe he was lying, but how could she tell? Hitch trembled. "C-Commander, look, I'm a member of the Military Police because of excellence. I would not lie to you."

"Your membership in the Military Police raises more suspicions than it quells," Darius replied.

Shit. Hitch not only found the commander intimidating, she found him creepy.

"You are well known to the Survey Corp. First, Annie Leonhart was your roommate. Then, you aided them during the Uprising and your partner, Marlowe Freudenberg, left you for them."

He didn't leave me. He just joined them, Hitch thought furiously. She remembered the night she'd jokingly spiked his juice, the night he'd yelled at her after she confessed, the night he'd called her maddening.

"Everyone says that," she retorted.

"In the other sense!" he snapped, and then he kissed her.

She pulled back. "Hey!"

"I'm sorry," he gasped.

Why had she pulled back? Hitch blinked back tears.

"You tear up at the mention of his name," Darius observed. "You know, he died in battle."

"I – what? He did?" Hitch tried to fake horror and shock. But she was deplete of everything but tears.

"So you did know already." Darius folded his hands. "I think we ought to restart our conversation."

They'll probably kick me out of the police and send me to the Survey Corp. Hitch wiped her eyes, trying to quell her panic.

Hitch hunched over. She had no choice but to tell him everything. I'm sorry, Marlowe. I'm not strong enough.

She was still sniffling when she left headquarters in the early afternoon. Commander Zackly hadn't even reprimanded her, and that didn't sit well. He was too preoccupied over Annie and "the possibilities," whatever he had meant by that.

"Harsh punishment?" A tall, gangly girl in threadbare clothing blocked her way around the corner.

"You don't belong here," snapped Hitch, wiping away her tears. "Go away, street rat."

"Street rat? I slept in the palace last night." The girl rolled her eyes. "I doubt whosever bed you shared last night was half as luxurious."

Hitch huffed. "In a cupboard?"

"With the queen." The girl grinned wickedly.

"Move aside." She'd never share a night with Marlowe, and she didn't want to think of him any longer – damn it! Hitch tried to shove past the girl. "Move aside! I command you – I'm with the police!"

"Oh, gee, I hadn't noticed," drawled the girl. She stuck out her hand. "I'm Ymir."

"Am I supposed to befriend you?" Hitch gave her a withering glare.

"No. But I would appreciate you telling me what emotional event you and Commander Zackly were discussing."

"How would you know I met with Zackly?!"

Ymir laughed. "I'll never tell."

A chill ran down Hitch's spine. Suppose this girl was a titan shifter, a traitor just like Annie? Well, fuck her, then. "He was telling me my boyfriend died in the Survey Corp."

Ymir's smirk softened. "That's…very sad."

"I'm sure you heard about their return. How few of them there were," Hitch said angrily.

I was there, Ymir wanted to yell. Instead she said, "What was his name?"

"Marlowe." Hitch wrapped her arms around herself.

Ymir felt awful for pressing further. "Was that all Zackly wanted?"

"Why are you still asking me? Why do you care about Zackly? Are you a titan spy?" Hitch fumed.

She knew there were spies, Ymir noted. "Why would you ask that?"

"W-what?"

Ymir gripped the girl by her shoulder. She couldn't fail Historia, no matter the pity. "Did Zackly mention anything about titan spies during your meeting?"

"How do you know about them?" growled Hitch.

Ymir smiled. "Because I'm a titan spy on the side of mankind."

"What?" Hitch shrieked and tried to grab her rifle, but Ymir was faster. She threw Hitch into a narrow alley and held her tight. "How do you know about them?"

"One of them was my roommate." Hitch winced.

"Tell me her name." Ymir pushed Hitch against the wall.

"Annie Leonhart," gasped Hitch. Why did she always cave? Why? Marlowe. She didn't deserve him. Good thing they had never dated. Just the kiss. Just the kiss.

Ymir loosened her grip on Hitch. "I trained with her."

She seemed almost sad. Hitch would have expected them to be enemies.

She felt like ruining herself. "I told Darius how the Survey Corp came to free her. And I helped them. For your information."

Ymir's eyes lit up. Darius had certainly taken an interest in titan shifters. Not that such an interest was suspicious, but still. "You're going to be late. Come meet my future wife, the one you know as 'queen'!"


"Teacher…regarding what supposedly doesn't exist, how do I prove otherwise?"

He was only seven, waiting impatiently at his father's feet.

"Erwin, you don't have to call me 'teacher' in our home."

"But you're teaching me now," Erwin said stubbornly.

His father laughed. "That I am."

"So. Answer the question!"

"I don't know the answer," his father confessed.

Erwin was stunned. "Don't…know?"

"I wish I did. Then we'd be free," said Father, a queer light in his eyes.

Erwin gripped his father's hands. "Someday, when I'm all grown up, I'll figure it out! I promise!"

"It wouldn't take just you," replied Father. His face twisted into a grin, his eyes blanked. He looked remarkably strong, like a titan. "Here, let me show you."

Erwin looked down at the bowl in front of him and screamed. Heads and fingers and gore, Mike and Nanaba and Isabel and Farlan and Gunther and Petra and Eld and Auruo.

His father was slurping them down. "Eat up!"

Erwin screamed and screamed, but as long as his mouth was open, their blood found its way in –

"Commander!"

Erwin gasped awake.

He'd chosen to fall asleep by his desk. His throat felt sore, his eyes heavy from crying. Yet, he felt relieved. I was dreaming. Father is not a monster.

Saskia had him by the shoulders. Her eyes were frightened for once. "Commander Erwin."

"Erwin!" Levi barreled in, Hange on his heels. "What the shit?"

Saskia ignored the little man's glare. "It was a nightmare."

"I see that," Erwin said irritably.

Levi kicked the door shut. "What about?"

Erwin swallowed back the memory. "Doesn't matter."

"You should let me look at you. We've all been under tremendous pressure, and you've been through trauma after trauma – you might need some sort of sleeping medication," said Hange.

"That won't be necessary," Erwin said crisply. "Dismissed. All of you." His eyes bored into Saskia's hands, which still clutched his shoulder. How had she gotten to him so fast?

He wished she'd been faster.

Levi's eyes flashed, but he turned to go.

"Just a second," Hange interrupted.

"Hange?"

"Shut up and let me talk, Levi," she commanded. "Erwin, you're aware we're also your friends. You can push me away, that's fine, but even though Levi won't say it, your current behavior is cruel at best. You used to trust him with everything, and we gave the same to you! Now you keep secrets out of pride instead of discretion and won't even care for yourself enough to admit it! This is exploitative and wrong – towards everyone, and especially Levi. You know how much he cares about you!"

"That's dangerous talk, Four-Eyes," Levi warned after a few seconds of horrific silence.

"Thank you, Hange," Erwin said, resting his chin on his hands. "Dismissed."

They spilt into the hallway, their voices rising higher and higher.

"You're not leaving." Erwin frowned at Saskia.

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't obey you," she said. "And pushing away your friends won't help."

"You say that from personal experience?"

"I'm perfectly capable of being a hypocrite."


"Are you crazy, Shitty Glasses?!" Outside Erwin's office, Levi backed Hange up into the wall. "Don't ever presume you know my feelings!"

"Yes, because you don't have any, right? That's what you like to pretend, Humanity's Strongest, isn't it?" Hange snarled.

Levi's normally pale complexion was now mottled purple. "You don't know me!"

"I know you're embarrassed because you have special feelings towards Erwin," Hange replied, struggling to retain her composure. "And I know you're the best friend Erwin has."

Levi's eyes flickered. I am?

"I know you follow him religiously, and you love him, and it's about time you admitted it," Hange finished.

"Of course I love him!" Levi cried. "He sees things no one else can! He's our best hope, and my best friend!"

"You're just embarrassed," Hange said, crossing her arms.

Levi ran a hand through his hair. "Wait. You don't think – Hange, it's not like that."

"Oh?"

"He's my friend and purpose. I love him like no other, but I'm not in love with him." Levi jerked his thumb towards the door. "You'll notice who never came out."

"She's a rebellious one," Hange mused. "But I think that's it. And you've yet to convince me otherwise."

"What?" Levi shook. He never shook. But this – Hange – "It's not."

"Right." Hange snorted. "I don't blame you for being mad, but please understand, I observe people scientifically, too. I'm trying to help you."

"You're also blind," Levi snapped.

Humanity's strongest soldier grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, yanked her head down, and planted a kiss on her lips.

He backed away quickly, releasing her. "You are blind, Shitty Glasses."

Hange's mouth fell open.

"Now you know," Levi said. He turned to walk away, fast

Her arm shot out and her skinny fingers wrapped around his wrist. "You – how long?"

"I don't know," Levi admitted.

"So you were flirting with me before," she heaved.

"Not exactly –" He was professional –

"Levi! This is so exciting. I didn't see this at all," Hange chattered. "Oh my good walls, Levi, you hid it so well. I mean, you always do, but, Levi –"

She kept saying his name. "I hope we can continue working together."

"And more!" Hange threw her arms around him. She'd never consciously wanted to be with Levi – subconsciously, maybe, but she'd never considered – well, once she had, six years ago when the world was so different – and now all doors were open, all walls had fallen. Now she felt as if her greatest discovery hadn't even been hers. It was Levi all along.

"You're crying." Levi felt something drip onto his shoulder.

"Actually, that was my nose," she sniffled.

"Gross!" he squawked. Shivers ran down his spine. Unclean, unclean – "Four-Eyes!"

"You know you love me." Hange used her sleeve to wipe his shoulder.

"Helpful." Levi stared at the smear.

"I mean, you're the one who made me cry." She swatted his arm.

"It's still your fault, Shitty Glasses. I have to go change."

"Kiss me again first."

As their lips met, Levi felt as if he were flying higher and faster than 3D Maneuver Gear allowed.

"Squad Leader, Captain –" A new recruit froze froze at the base of the stairs.

"Aieeeee!" Hange leapt away.

Levi's face burned, but he focused on staring holes into his soul. Mention this and you'll wish titans would eat you.

"What is it, Flocke?" squeaked Hange. Flocke, yes, that was his name. She remembered because he was the only one not downed by the Beast Titan's stones.

"The armored titan is here to see you two and Erwin," Flocke managed. "In his human form, of course. Obviously, his titan form would have been noticed sooner – still, it's definitely Reiner – I'll go wait for you with the others – Mikasa's holding Eren back from killing him on spot –"

"Figures. Hange, notify Erwin." Levi stomped down the stairs, muttering. "Jeager, behave yourself!"


"Do you think talking about it would help? I know someone who found it helpful."

Rarely a week went by without Zeke awakening in tears, angry at the beatings his mother inflicted, both past and through his dreams. Angry because he woke up screaming for his father's return, a return that would never come.

Erwin noticed sorrow in her gaze. She had some sort of experience with sinister dreams – presumably Annie.

"My father turned into a titan," he said stiffly. Did she think him silly for mourning his father this many years later?

Fathers. Always. Saskia closed her eyes. With Zeke, she never had to ask. He just told her, as she held his hand.

And now her hand was holding his, but it wasn't Zeke's. Saskia looked him in the eyes – the commander seemed surprised, but he didn't protest. "Did he attack you?"

"No. It started as the night he told me the truth: that our minds had been wiped blank 107 years ago. The last night I saw him." Erwin drew in a ragged breath. "Somehow, the next thing I knew, he was inviting me to eat my dead subordinates. The ones I killed."

"You killed them?"

"I treated them as sacrifices we could do without. I'm still not sure we could have gotten this far otherwise," Erwin rambled. Such torment streamed from blue eyes that even Saskia's face displayed pity.

"I see the weight of killing hundreds of thousands every time I look at my sister, and Bertolt, and Reiner," she said. "It's destroying them. I can't imagine…what it is like…to have the weight of keeping hundreds of thousands alive."

Erwin scowled, suddenly overcome with self-hatred. He wanted to be hated, to suffer and die. "I got my father killed. He was my first victim."

"You were a child! Like my sister, like Bertolt and Reiner still are. You don't blame children. You shouldn't," Saskia pled.

"I blamed your trio of Warriors. Why not myself?" He laughed.

"Because, Erwin, history is a cesspool of wrongs inflicted upon children who inflict wrongs upon their children. We learn from it to right the future, if not the past. You were a victim of your idiot government, and you still are a victim." Saskia told him the words she desperately wished her father would tell her.

She just wanted to hear it wasn't her fault.

Since she couldn't, she would ensure that someone else could.

Erwin chafed at the word "victim." He'd been the one victimizing. He wasn't powerless like a victim. But he couldn't protest, because finally a layperson seemed to understand the burden.

"You Survey Corps always say 'offer up your hearts.'" Saskia pressed the fingers of her free hand into his chest. "I feel a heartbeat. Just like I did outside Shinagashina when you were bleeding out through your side. You're a human who's offered his heart up more than anyone, and you don't deserve these ghosts."

Erwin's mouth opened, but Hange burst through the door. "Commander! Reiner Braun has appeared outside. Apparently he's requesting to meet with you!"

She seemed remarkably cheery, Erwin noted as he leapt to his feet. "Thank you, Saskia."

"I'm glad I found you that day," she said, surprising him with her kindness and herself with the truth. She really was glad. She liked this man.


"Sit still or I won't kiss you for a week," Mikasa hissed in Eren's ear.

He hesitated. "Mikasa!"

A hand clamped down on his shoulder. "Down, Jeager."

Levi looked a bit flustered, but then, it wasn't every day the enemy conversed with them. Far from it.

Reiner stood in the center, poised for a fight. "I'm delivering a letter to Erwin Smith and Eren Jaeger!"

"I'm delivering your death," Eren yelled again.

"Do you seriously think saying that will help?" Jean scoffed.

"We don't need him anymore, now that we have the others," Eren pled.

"We need you to calm down is what we need," Mikasa said.

Commander Erwin appeared, flanked by a visibly excited Hange. "Braun."

"Sir." Reiner couldn't deny the urge to fall to his knees, to beg to fight as a soldier. He missed, he liked the soldier. The soldier was so simple. "I also need to see Bertolt Hoover and Saskia Leonhart before I deliver the note."

"Why should I let you?"

"Those are my orders," Reiner said.

"That's terrible excuse," Levi growled.

Reiner flinched. "It's the only one I have."

Erwin felt unanticipated pity stir in his heart. "Braus, go fetch them."

"Yes, sir." Sasha gave Connie's hand a reassuring squeeze before darting back inside headquarters.

Reiner noticed how close Mikasa stood to Eren, even closer than normal. Wait. That was – there was a definite hickey on Mikasa's neck.

He nearly guffawed. He'd rooted for this since she'd declared Eren wanted to be by her side when he conquered 3D Maneuver gear. Even if they had to die, he wanted this.

"What?" Eren narrowed his eyes. Reiner ought not to look at Mikasa like that.

"Er, nothing." Reiner regained his stony face.

"Here."

A blonde beauty walked out, expressionless as always. By her side was – Annie!

Reiner brightened. "Annie!"

Annie scowled in response. She was handcuffed to her sister.

"Sorry, sir, they both threatened me unless she came along," Sasha said, gesturing to the Leonhart sisters.

Erwin wasn't the least surprised. "Acceptable, Braus."

"Here's Bertolt." Sasha pulled out a heavily chained, gangly creature and gently helped it to its knees.

"Bertolt!" Passion flooded Reiner's voice.

Whatever his faults, he loved his friend. Mikasa glanced at Saskia. Like she loved Annie. Like Mikasa loved Eren. How was this level of devotion possible on all sides?

Sasha had gagged Bertolt, lest he bite himself, but he nodded in response.

Why wasn't Annie subject to the same treatment? Had she converted? Reiner anxiously scanned the Leonharts' faces. One never knew with a Leonhart.

"Your note." Reiner held out his hand. "And your word that you will not capture me."

Erwin nodded. He'd expected this. But, not to capture him would risk more lives.

"Or you don't get this note, and I think you'll want it."

"Agreed," Erwin said, noting the fury on Flocke's face, the disappointment in all of Squad Levi's. He was his nightmare father.

Their fingers brushed, Commander and Armored Titan, human and child soldier, as the paper passed between them.

Erwin scanned it. "Jaeger."

"You'll want to read it too," Reiner said coolly.

Eren slipped over to Erwin, Mikasa on his heels. She didn't like Braun targeting Eren. She'd kill him if she could.

Annie watched Bertolt's face. The kid was sweating profusely and couldn't take his eyes off Reiner. But there was something more than just the humiliation and discomfort of chains.

He looked relieved, Annie realized. Comfortable when imprisoned.

Bertolt didn't want to be free. Why, she didn't know. He wanted Reiner, but he didn't want freedom.

She did. Oh, she did, so badly. What's wrong with you, asshole?

Annie observed her sister's stoic expression. Saskia had never wanted freedom – not from their father, not from Zeke, and now, not from these walled idiots. But she sure wasn't aching to return to her husband, either.

Saskia, you married him for me, didn't you. Annie had long suspected, and it only made her angrier. She wished she were free – free to kill Zeke.

Eren shrieked and clapped a hand over his mouth. Water streamed from his eyes, and Mikasa wrapped her arms tight around him.

Erwin folded the note. "Arlert is alive."

"Armin?" Jean didn't believe it. He couldn't.

"He is. You think you're the only ones with advanced medicine?" Reiner said. Of course, Grisha's was probably superior, but what did it matter?

"He'll turn him into a titan unless we hand over Bertolt and Saskia," Erwin said grimly. Zeke must have given Annie up as a lost cause.

Did he consider Armin a lost cause?

"War Chief Zeke will give you ten days to decide. At Shinagashina, again. You will die regardless, eventually, but you'll have the opportunity to rescue a soldier and spend more days with him," said Reiner.

"And ride out into another disaster, all for one boy?" Hange demanded.

"Let us see whether humanity is in numbers or individuals," Erwin read. "That's the last line."

He's toying with you, Saskia feared.

Yes, she was angry at her husband. This was torture. And he still hadn't expressed care for Annie. But she kept her face blank, lest Reiner report her treachery to Zeke.

"Let us see, indeed." Erwin felt Saskia's comfort fleeing as damnation neared with every breath he took.


"Now that they know, what do you plan?" Armin asked. I won't be the bait.

Zeke shook his head. "Vengeance. Atonement."

"Can those coexist?"

"I think they can." Zeke dropped his mask, and Armin saw the soul of a wounded, enraged child. Like Eren. "I'll achieve both."

"You can't kill my friends."

"I won't kill Jaeger," Zeke said with a strange smile.

"You're related. Any imbecile could see that," Armin pointed out.

"Yes. I am the son of my father's youth…his youthful indiscretions. Eren is the son of his later love." Bitterness oozed from Zeke's words.

"You are…Eren's half brother?" Armin gaped at the Beast Titan.

"He doesn't look at all like Grisha, does he?" Zeke was lost in memory. "Isn't it ironic that Grisha's beloved savior son doesn't take after him?"

"Maybe he liked him better that way," Armin said boldly. "Carla – you killed Carla Jaeger, when you made Bertolt attack the walls. Carla was special, just for being herself."

That's what she had told Keith Shadis, at any rate. And Armin dared to believe it for her, for Eren and Mikasa and everyone but himself.

Eren is special no matter his powers, Mikasa no matter her strength. Reiner no matter his mind. Even Zeke. Armin stared at the anguished human before him as if he'd been reborn.

"You're just angry at your father," Armin said. This whole thing – began because of a father?

Didn't it always?

"And I should be." Zeke clenched his fist. "Your friends will return Eren and my wife no matter what."

"What does 'no matter what' contain?"

"I won't harm them," Zeke said. "You will."

"What?" Armin cried.

A purple syringe materialized in Zeke's grasp.

"No!" Armin scrambled back against the door.

"Go ahead, flee outside! You have nowhere to run!" Zeke exclaimed.

"I'm a human!" Armin begged. "I'm a human! Stop!"

"I wish I could! The world ought to be rid of titans, forever!" Zeke's faced pinched up like a madman's.

Armin swung at him, but Zeke knocked him onto his back with one punch. "You'll learn to control it. You're smart. We need someone like you."

"Why not your wife?" Armin screamed. "She was smart, too!"

No, Zeke wouldn't want to hurt this mysterious Saskia. Maybe he could use that against him – Armin yelped as the needle slid into his vein.

Eren, don't kill me. I'll always be a human.