A/N: One word. Life. Other than that…yeah, I have no good excuse for such a wait. Any future multi-chap fics I do, I'm writing out fully beforehand…
This chapter is owed to everyone who poked and prodded me to get a move on. And thank you all so much for the ideas, you'll be seeing a few pop up. But I think you've waited long enough, so here it is.


Recap: (seeing as how it has been so long!)

The turtles were out on patrol when they were ambushed and Donatello was fatally injured. He died and his family slipped into grief. After 1 month, his computer ran a program that sent 6 emails - one for each of his family and friends. The turtles take it in turns to read the message from their deceased brother, and leave to find a gift he has hidden for them as a final goodbye. So far Leo, Raph and Mikey have read the letter, Leo has found his gift and Raph has left the lair to find his. April and Casey are coming to the lair to visit.

I think that about sums it up for now :)


"My son…"
Splinter spoke quietly to the air around him, head bowed low over his cup of tea, the steam from the hot liquid dancing through his whiskers.
"…my dear son…"
His words barely carried to the kitchen door.
But the room could hear.

The old rat blinked at the shimmering liquid surface, disturbed by a solitary tear. The fridge whined in sympathy as more tears followed; the tranquil surface of the tea destroyed, churning, its calm surface disrupted as easily as the fragile family.

The quiet ticking of a clock joined the symphony; its rhythm remained undisturbed amidst the grief and turmoil it had sensed so recently around the home.

Across the lair, in a dying room lit only by the light of a single computer screen, another watched their tears fall. Joining with those shed by the brothers who had gone before him. A quiet sob caught in his throat, released as a heart-wrenching whimper. The computer screen dulled once more, respecting the turtles need for silent solitude.

Whispers of times gone by paced the lair, stirring memories in the minds of those there; a family, whole and happy. Sparkling curiosity behind soft brown eyes. A comforter, a listener, a friend, son, brother.
A shiver passes through the turtle.
A confidant, someone to run to when you were lost, always there, always constant.
Someone who would listen, not judge; someone who would comfort, not press.
Someone lost.
Someone missed.

The fathers eyes slide closed, his mind replaying images of happier times.
"my son…"
The turtle stands in the doorway; a whine escapes him as he watches the living room and his memories.


Cold stone. Trickling water. The sound of light splashing as someone draws closer. Soft light falls from a grate above, landing gently on the form below.
Raph raised his head; squinting in the suns rays from above.
"Come on then, bro," he whispered. "You know the only thing I would ever want is you. How on earth do you plan on giving me that?"

The only answer he received was from the trickling water. Ever flowing, regardless of what occurred. Raphael didn't care for the symbolism.
A soft breeze wound its way through the tunnel, wrapping itself around the turtle's legs.
Raph closed his eyes, fighting back tears.
"If that's meant to be you bro, then prove it to me," he hissed through his constricting throat.
As if in answer, the breeze calmed; and the turtle found himself shivering in its absence.

Wary, Raphael squinted into the depths of the tunnel he had just travelled from. What he was searching for, he wouldn't admit, even to himself. He didn't even know the reason he was here if he was going to be truthful. Just what did he expect to happen anyway? For some sort of heavenly guidance to persuade him all was well? He would have laughed aloud at the idea had he not been so desperate.
Perhaps Donatello had left him an exact replica of Renet's staff. At this point, it was the only option that had any chance of consoling him.

Resigning himself to the task at hand, he began searching the damp wall; rough fingers caressing the brickwork. By the time he had discovered the loose brick he seeked, he was close to breaking point. Trembling fingers curled around the object as Raph gave a sharp tug. The wall ground down hard onto its weak point, unwilling to give way. As red swamped his vision, Raphael growled low in his throat, grasping tightly and yanking the offending brick towards him. The force of the attack rendered the wall incapable of defense, and it spat the brick outwards in retaliation. The furious turtle cast the brick towards the opposite side of the small tunnel, where it shattered upon impact; the now irreplaceable form scattered into escaping shards. A strange feeling of regret washed over the turtle; but he thrust the thought deep into the recesses of his mind.

A whisper in his ear reminded him of the reason he had trekked out here. Gritting his teeth, Raphael slid his hand backwards into the gap without another thought. Silky fabric stroked his fingertips, reverting into uneven patchwork. The turtle hesitated, momentarily confused, before continuing his fumbling quest. A smooth pebble kissed his finger as he drew out his prize.

Raphael had the mental urge to pinch himself. Surely…surely not? Donatello couldn't have…there's no way…of all the thoughts Don could have left him. A ghost of a smile traces his features as he brings the toy closer for inspection. A wayward thought draws his memory to the letter. More of that mushy emotion stuff he presumes. Although this time, he thinks he can forgive it.
"Higosha…"
The name slips of his tongue as that of an old friend. Of course. Trust his brother to find the toy bear of their childhood.

And suddenly he's crumbling, slipping downhill with no end in sight.
A choked sob escapes him as he sinks to his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself. He forces himself to still his breathing, blinking rapidly against the tears straining to escape.
A whisper brushes his hearing, gone before he can really notice it. Soft white on the edge of his vision.
Eyes wide, his hand moves of its own accord, reaching for the softly floating feather. His hand closes gently around it, the feather resting in his hand, seeming to glow with gently fading warmth.
Moving as if in a dream, he finds his tears flowing freely as he holds the fragile feather close.
His brothers gift to him.
A sign.
A symbol.
He was with them.

A siblings bond stretches for eternity
Through thick and thin, the love remains.
From life to death…
Forever. I'll always be watching you Raph. I'll always love you.


A/N:
protector = 庇護者(higosha)
For those that don't understand, or aren't sure, if you find a white feather it is seen as a sign of an angel watching over you (at least where I come from). In this case I've taken the liberty of placing Don in the position where he can throw out an angel feather or two. Or, you know, it could be a loose feather from the breast of a pigeon or collared dove flying above. Whatever you want ;)