Chapter Nine:
Pidge woke up well-rested for the first time in a very long time. Though the bed they were lying in was unfamiliar, they were warm and comfortable, their mother's arms around them.
Pidge slowly pulled out of their mother's hold to look at the alarm clock on the table beside the hotel bed. It was barely eight in the morning. Pidge's stomach growled some, hoping breakfast was still being served.
They had a feeling that they could get just about anything right now, though, even if they decided they wanted a three-course dinner at three in the morning.
Bella, followed by Keith, had come running back into the room the night before, excitedly telling everyone that the President had arrived. He had sent a secret service agent to explain that the President would see them all in the morning, but did not want to disrupt the reunion between the Paladins and their families. Mrs. Holt gave permission for some of the agents to go to her home to get some things for herself, Pidge and Tali, as—for security reasons—the President's Head of Security did not want any of the Paladins, the Alteans or their friends and family to leave the building. Apparently, there had been quite a press gathering outside as well, which was part of the reason for this. Lani and Tali were pleased to learn that the President was serious in that they and their blog would be the ones with all the news of Team Voltron first and foremost.
The hotel manager was more than happy to accommodate all the new guests and apparently had staff members calling and begging to come in to work, all hoping for a glimpse of the Paladins and the two Alteans.
Pidge went over to the bag and picked through the clothes that the agent had brought in a bag for them. Pidge picked out a pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt for breakfast, since they knew they'd need to wear their armor for the meeting. They ducked into the bathroom to shower, dress and brush their teeth.
They were surprised to find that the jeans showed a bit more ankle than the last time they had worn this pair, and the T-shirt was a little tight, especially around the chest. Pidge paused and studied their reflection in the mirror. Considering that—in space—the only things they wore were baggy Earth clothes, their Paladin suit, and the occasional fancy piece of clothing from Allura's wardrobe, Pidge hadn't noticed that they had grown over the past few months. They wondered if there was anything that fit at home, or if they'd have to buy all new clothes to go with this new height and figure—even if both were still considered very small and growing.
Speaking of growing…
They frowned as they grabbed hold of the damp ends of their hair. It had gotten longer over the last few months, hanging nearly to their shoulders.
They liked it when their hair was so long, long enough to braid or pull into a ponytail. It had been painful to cut it; they had loved their hair, even on its most difficult days. It was almost a point of pride with the way it hung to their waist. Their favorite feature about their appearance.
But they also liked it short. It was easier to manage with their helmet. They often wondered if it was stubbornness or true affection for his hair style that Keith kept his hair as long as he did.
Pidge closed their eyes.
They wanted to grow their hair out again someday.
But cutting their hair had been one of the many steps in this journey to find their father and brother.
And they weren't going to let their hair be that long again until they reached the end of that journey.
No, their hair would need to be cut again.
But, at the same time, they didn't exactly want to go back to the style they had as Pidge Gunderson.
Pidge was biologically a girl. Felt like a girl most of the time. But at the same time, they had enjoyed their time as a boy. Had some days where they felt like a boy before the Garrison. Pronouns didn't really matter, but 'they' worked the best when even they weren't so sure how they felt that particular day, whether it was both genders, somewhere in-between, or changed as hours passed.
They were a girl. They were a boy. They were both. And sometimes they were neither.
And they wanted to do something with their hair that reflected that.
They expressed this to their mother, who nodded in understanding.
"Why don't you ask Mrs. Kekoa to help you?" Mrs. Holt said as she pulled on her shoes. "She's a hairdresser. Maybe she knows a style that would work best for you."
Pidge nodded, vaguely remembering a conversation with Hunk and Lance in the Garrison Mess Hall, while the two boys were trying to be friendly to their new teammate. They remembered Hunk mentioning that his mother could do magic with hair.
They wondered if that magic would apply to the infamously stubborn Holt hair that Matt and Pidge had both inherited from their father.
"I'll ask after breakfast." Pidge said. "Speaking of, you ready?"
"Yes," Their mother said. "Though I can't believe you're hungry after all you ate last night."
"I've been surviving on green food goo and the occasional weird but edible fruit or vegetable for the last six months." Pidge said with a grin. "I plan on eating as much Earth food as I possibly can whenever I can while I'm here."
Pidge and Mrs. Holt were joined at the elevator by Shiro and Mitsu, the latter of whom had her arm wrapped around Shiro's. Pidge was both a little surprised and pleased to notice that it was the right arm—the cybernetic arm—that Mitsu was clutching to, the part of Shiro he felt the most self-conscious about, one of the most prominent changes in his appearance and the one he worried would scare others the most. And, most importantly, Shiro was smiling, having apparently said something that made the younger girl giggle as they approached. Pidge was also happy to see that Shiro seemed well-rested, which they hadn't seen in a very long time, which meant he had actually gotten some sleep the night before.
Greetings were exchanged as the elevator doors opened. Pidge noticed that, while their mother had always been warm to Shiro, she seemed to be even more so now, after the conversation they had had the night before in the privacy of their own room. Pidge had told their mother everything they knew about what had happened to their father and brother, including how Shiro had protected Matt by taking Matt's place in the fighting arena, with an added plea to not mention any of this information to anyone else.
"Are your parents and brother already downstairs?" Mrs. Holt asked as Mitsu pressed the button for the first floor.
"No, they'll meet us down in a few minutes." Shiro explained.
Throughout the elevator ride, Pidge felt the odd feeling that they were being watched. And, they realized, that feeling wasn't for naught. Mitsu was watching them, eyes curious and thoughtful but also a little awestruck. But whenever Pidge tried to meet the younger girl's gaze, she quickly turned away, looking down at her feet shyly. So Pidge was a little surprised when, after they got off the elevator, Mitsu grabbed Pidge's wrist.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She asked.
"Uh, yeah, sure." Pidge said, waving to their mother and Shiro to go on ahead while Mitsu pulled her down the hall. The younger girl then suddenly looked shy again.
"I… I wanted to thank you. For what you did last night, talking to us before we saw Takashi and stuff." Mitsu said. "We all wanted to see him as soon as possible, but, we needed to know what you told us."
"I only really did what I knew Takashi would do for one of us, or what my dad would do for one of his crewmembers." Pidge said.
"You did more than what the Garrison did when they told us he was dead." Mitsu pointed out. She hesitated, staring down at her feet. "You know, when my mother spoke to you last night… That was the first time she had spoken English since that day. Chichi was seriously considering moving us back to Japan. Haha had been homesick for years, but after… Kerberos… it was a full-blown depression. Things weren't okay. And right now, they're still not. But they're going to get better. I know they're going to get better. It's going to be hard, but we'll get there. Maybe we would have gotten there eventually without Takashi. But there are no words in any language to express how grateful, how happy I am that he's back, back in our lives and… And I know things won't be the same. Never be the same. Not for him, not for Haha or Chichi or me or Shinji… But our family is whole again."
Pidge was surprised when Mitsu suddenly reached forward and grabbed Pidge's hands, looking up to meet Pidge's eyes.
"And I know your family will be whole again, too. And I'm sorry that it's not now like ours is. But I wanted you to know that I think you're so brave for everything you've done and what you're going to do. You've helped my family a lot, and I want to do the same for yours in any way I can."
Pidge smiled and squeezed Mitsu's hands.
"From what I've seen, you already have." Pidge said.
Mitsu frowned in confusion.
"What do you mean?" She asked. "How?"
"You've been brave. You've been kind and supportive, and most importantly shown Takashi a whole lot of love and care. When I first saw him this morning, I almost didn't recognize him. He looked happy, and I know the last time he looked like he actually slept was weeks ago. He tries so hard to be this pillar of strength all the time, to care for us and protect us and guide us. But we all know it's hard. He rarely lets his guard down, rarely lets us try to take care of him like he does for us. If you are one of those people he will let his guard down around, if he can relax and actually sleep and just be happy… Then you have done a lot of great things for Team Voltron, for the entire universe in a very short amount of time. And I owe you my thanks for that."
Mitsu smiled, beaming at the praise from Pidge.
"Then I'm glad that I could help Takashi and the entire universe at the same time." Mitsu said.
Pidge grinned and gently put their hand on Mitsu's shoulder, only after doing so realizing that that was something Shiro did a lot of.
"Alright, now let's go get some breakfast." Pidge said. "Because neither of us can do our jobs on empty stomachs."
Mitsu nodded and followed Pidge into the dining room.
The dining room was basically as they had left it the night before, and just as loud and chaotic and full of chatter. However, this morning, there was more of a kids' table and an adults' table, with the college students gathered in their own corner griping about their professors, assignments and how life did in fact go on even after an alien invasion.
"I can't believe Professor Johnson is still expecting this paper by the due date!" Kalea groaned as she was typing on her laptop. "I mean, did we not just get attacked by eight feet tall purple chinchillas from space? That's got to be extension worthy."
"I'm suddenly hoping no one's expecting any of the homework we missed." Lance said with a frown, after over-hearing this, pausing before he dug back into his oatmeal.
"So am I," Shiro said, with a sudden horrified expression. "You all have six months of missed school, but I've missed about two years!"
"You didn't miss much, I can promise you that." Tali said as she stirred sugar into her coffee.
"Wait, didn't you say that the Garrison kicked you out, too?" Pidge said as they found a seat between Tali and Mitsu. "What exactly happened with that?"
"Well, I say kicked out, but I was rather nicely asked to leave." Tali explained.
"What? Why?" Hunk asked. "You're practically on god-level status amongst the engineering crowd at the Garrison."
"Yeah, but I was a flight engineer who suddenly didn't have a crew. I was sixth year, and they couldn't just assign me to a new team. Not that I wanted to be assigned to a new one anyways." Tali said. "So, I stuck around a few months, but then I got called to Iverson's office and given an offer I literally could not refuse. A rather nice position working with NASA engineers."
"That's incredible!" Hunk said with wide-eyed awe.
"Wait, didn't you say you hated your job? 'Cause that does sound really awesome." Carlos said.
"Well, it's okay, and I'm good at it, but it's not where I wanted to be." Tali explained. "And I felt like I didn't really deserve to be there, either. I got the position partly out of pity, and partly because I got the feeling the Garrison wanted to get rid of me. But I didn't really want to stay at the Garrison much longer, either. There was very little I was getting out of it without a team."
"Why did you stay so long then, if you weren't happy?" Allura asked as she daintily cut up a cinnamon roll. She was already on her third one and had declared it to be her favorite Earth dish so far, but was still unsure why Lance and Pidge frequently referred to Hunk as a "Cinnamon roll too pure for this world".
"Because I was trying to fulfill the last promise I made to my best friend before his supposed death." Tali said, giving a small smile at Shiro, then nodded at Keith. "Which was to look out for this dork of an underclassman he mentored." Her eyes suddenly narrowed as she glared at Keith. "Who then proceeded to get himself kicked out of the Garrison less than twenty-four hours after I had left, after begging him to keep his head down and anger in check and to call me if he ever needed anything!"
"Hey, I was provoked!" Keith said defensively.
"Keith, when I first met you, you were a five foot four, hundred and twenty pound ball of barely-a-teen angst who wanted to fight everything and everyone." Tali said flatly. "Five years later, the only thing that has changed is your height, and not by much. 'Provoked' could mean anything."
"Hey, I've put on weight too!" Keith protested. "And all of it is muscle! And I don't try to fight everyone."
"I have literally watched you yell 'Fight me!' to a bird who stole the crust off your sandwich one day at lunch. I have fond memories of me and Matt laughing so hard we cried while you chased said bird around and as it taunted you, resulting in you landing on your face more than once when you tried to capture it, all the while Shiro is yelling at you to stop harassing the poor bird." Tali said.
By this point, everyone at the table—except Keith and, trying desperately to keep a straight face, Shiro—was laughing hysterically at this.
"You should have just let the bird have it." Lance said, wiping away the tears forming in his eyes. "I mean, it was only the crusts and everyone knows that's like the least fun part of a sandwich."
"I like the crusts. It's my favorite part. I tore them off to save them for the end and that stupid bird took them!" Keith said, cheeks red. Lance gasped dramatically, hand going to his heart.
"What?" He said. "I can't be seen with someone who likes the crust on sandwiches! Next you'll be saying you like pineapple on pizza!"
"Hey, I like pineapple on pizza." Hunk said defensively, which elicited another dramatic gasp from Lance, his other hand going to his heart as he turned to Hunk with wide eyes.
"What!?" He exclaimed. "First Pidge is a girl, then Keith likes the crust on sandwiches, and now you like pineapple on pizza, Hunk? I feel like I don't even know you… Any of you!" Lance suddenly turned to Shiro, who was slowly losing his own straight face. "How will you betray me, Shiro? How will you turn upon me like these monsters have?"
Shiro chuckled.
"Well, I guess I'm just going to have to keep you on your guard, then." He said.
At this point, Pidge noticed three people enter the room, a frustrated but determined looking Shinji followed by his parents, who were regarding their younger son with some concern.
"Hey, Mitsu?" Pidge whispered, leaning over to the younger girl. "What's going on with your brother and your parents?"
Mitsu shrugged.
"Don't know." She said with a frown as she glanced at Shinji. "Whatever has happened, it took place after Takashi and I came down here."
Just then, Shinji came marching up to stand beside Shiro.
"I have parental permission, Takashi." Shinji said. "I want to go with you."
"What?" Pidge said, then, before they could stop their mouth, said, "No!"
"I'm not asking you, Pidge, I'm asking Takashi." Shinji said, a bit sharply.
Shiro stared at his younger brother for a moment while the other Paladins exchanged hesitant glances. Though they were all looking forward to the two new members of their crew, they were a little hesitant about a third. Or, at least, this particular volunteer. They all remembered how Shinji had treated Shiro the night before. The younger Paladins were very protective of Shiro, just as he was with them. They did not forgive anyone who harmed him—emotionally or physically—very easily.
"You want to come?" Shiro asked, his brow furrowing. Shinji nodded.
"I'm fluent in both Japanese and English. I have a black belt in karate. I have some piloting training and some basic understanding of engineering, but my Garrison training is predominately computer and communications based. Technically I'd be assigned to a crew in the fall there anyway." Shinji said, face blank and voice flat as he verbally gave his resume. "You're letting Lani go and she has no background training for space travel at all. Lance, Hunk and Keith have basically the same amount of Garrison education that I do, and Pidge has even less than that."
Then he gave a small smile to Shiro as he said,
"And, as your brother, I've known you the longest. I can help you get your memories back. That is," He tilted his head to the side some. "Unless you don't want them back."
Pidge glared at Shinji over Mitsu's head.
It was a deliberate guilt trip. Designed to ensure that Shiro really couldn't say no.
Shiro looked towards Allura.
"Allura, we are your Paladins, and it is your Castle. You need to give approval for anyone we let on board and join our crew." Shiro said.
Allura hesitated as she glanced over to see the glare Pidge was giving her, silently pleading with the Princess to say no.
Allura closed her eyes and took a deep breath before saying,
"No, Shiro, this has to be your decision, your approval. You may be my Paladins, yes, but you are ultimately the head of Voltron. Furthermore, Shinji is not one of my subjects. This is your planet, not mine. I cannot be the deciding factor in this case."
Allura gave Pidge an apologetic look as the youngest Paladin narrowed their eyes at the Princess. But Pidge couldn't really blame her
Allura was right; she didn't have a place in this discussion. And it really wouldn't be fair to say no after saying yes so easily to Lani and Tali the previous night, especially as Lani—as Shinji pointed out—had no training whatsoever for space.
"Alright." Shiro said, giving Shinji a smile. "Then welcome aboard. Er, figuratively speaking."
Shinji nodded, then turned around and left the dining room without another word.
The whole exchange made Pidge wonder what ulterior motive Shinji had.
"Well, it's a good thing the Castle's huge, since we just gained three new residents." Hunk said, trying to diffuse the tension, especially seeing that Pidge was glaring at the entryway with a death-grip on the plastic fork in their hand.
"Can we see the Castle?" Bella asked, looking up at Lance. "And the Lions?"
"Of course!" Lance said. "We'll give you all the grand tour. And Blue is just going to gobble you up!"
He poked at Bella's sides, which made her giggle.
"Can you take us for a ride?" Raymon asked with big eyes.
"Yeah!" Lance said, reaching over to ruffle his younger brother's hair. "Blue loves to show off."
"As does her pilot." Keith said with a small smile.
"We can go after the meeting is concluded." Allura said. "I know I am eager to get back to the Castle. And I imagine the Lions are getting anxious without their Paladins nearby."
"Yeah, I can't remember the last time we were away from the Lions for this long." Hunk said. "I mean, even with this mental link thing, I still want to see Yellow to know she's okay."
"Not to mention we need to get them fixed up." Pidge said. "And the Castle, too."
"And we'll need to restock." Lance said. "We did not pack for space, that's for sure. Gotta fix that this time." Suddenly, he grinned. "Hey, Allura, do you want to see a Earth mall?"
"What is a 'mall'?" Allura asked.
"It's this huge building—nearly as big as the Castle—with all these shops, and each shop has something different." Lance said. "Some have clothes or shoes, others have appliances, some have candles or soaps or that sort of thing. There's even a food court, which is like a dozen different restaurants all in one place."
"Including the Great American Cookie." Alicia said. "They have those awesome M&M sugar cookies."
"I have been dreaming about those cookies for a long time now…" Lance said wistfully.
"Oh my gosh, you think you like cinnamon rolls now, wait till you get a Cinnabon cinnamon roll." Hunk said. "Those things are huge!"
Allura's eyes went wide at the mention of her new favorite treat.
"I must see this mall…" She whispered.
"Did I hear something about shopping?" Maria said, head jolting up from whatever she was working on. "I want in."
Before further plans could be made, Pidge saw that Mrs. Kekoa was preparing to leave the room. With a quick 'Be right back', Pidge ran after her.
"Mrs. Kekoa!" They called, causing the older woman to pause and turn to Pidge with a smile.
"Aw, don't call me that. I look over my shoulder for my mother-in-law every time someone calls me that." She said. "You can call me 'Aunty Kalena', if you want. Really, the only kids who don't call me that are my own."
"Aunty Kalena, then," Pidge said with a smile. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor."
"Name it, child." Aunty Kalena said with a nod.
"Well, Hunk says that you can pretty much do magic with hair, and well…" Pidge gestured to their own head. "My hair needs all the magic it can get."
Aunty Kalena's smile grew.
"I can see what I can do." She promised. "Go finish eating, then come up to my room. I'll get my supplies ready."
"Thank you!" Pidge said. "I'll be up in about five to ten minutes!"
They quickly ran back to their meal, scarfed it down and promised to see everyone later. Less than three minutes after that, they were sitting in the desk chair in Aunty Kalena's room, her scissors and combs lined up on a towel.
"Alright, my dear, now what is it you want done with your hair?" Aunty Kalena asked as she started to brush out the tangles. "Just the dead ends off?"
"Well, I kind of want it short," Pidge admitted. "It's easier to deal with my helmet and that sort of thing. And…" Pidge hesitated.
"And?" Aunty Kalena prompted.
"Before Kerberos, my hair was really long." Pidge said. "And that was when I was just Katie Holt. But then, when I went to the Garrison and was pretending to be a boy, I cut it all off to be Pidge Gunderson. But now I'm Pidge Holt. I'm somewhere… in between…"
Aunty Kalena put down the brush and turned Pidge around to face her.
"You don't need to explain." She said with a smile. "I understand what you mean."
"You do?" Pidge said, blinking. "Are… Are you gender-fluid too?"
"I personally am not. But…" Aunty Kalena stepped over to her suitcase and pulled out a photo album. She flipped it open to a picture of Hunk at about age seven, standing on a stool and helping a man cook at a counter. Aunty Kalena pointed at the man. "That is my younger brother. But he was not always my brother, you know. At one point, he was my younger sister."
Pidge was a little surprised, but at the same time not.
They had figured out that Hunk had discovered their true sex by reading their diary as well as the photo they kept of them and Matt. When they had confronted him about it later and asked why he hadn't said anything, he had shrugged and said that it wasn't his secret to spill or really any of his business. But now Pidge understood a bit better. He wasn't sure if Pidge was trans or not, and didn't treat them differently. And, other than Shiro, was probably the most accepting of Pidge's gender-fluidity and making the switch from saying 'he' to 'she' to 'they' the easiest when they had made the request shortly after revealing her sex to the team.
"For a long time, he was in that in-between state, too, but he didn't want to be." Aunty Kalena explained. "But some people do want to be there. That is where they are most comfortable. You are one of them. And, you want to present yourself as such, am I right?"
Pidge nodded.
"Yeah." They said. "Because somedays, I want to look like a girl and dress like a girl and act like and be treated like a girl. But then I also want to look like a boy and dress and act like and be treated a boy. But then, other days, I don't want to be either. But I don't think it's possible to present that with a haircut alone, right?"
Aunty Kalena smiled.
"You said you needed magic." She said as she closed the album and put it away. "And I think I know exactly what you need. Will you trust me?"
Pidge nodded without hesitation.
"Of course." Pidge said.
"Then let's get started." Aunty Kalena said. "You only have about an hour or so until your meeting."
