Voices. Sam heard the voices going on around him though he felt as if he was hearing them under water. He tried to open his eyes but found them unwilling to cooperate. He'd give it another minute.
Slowly, the voices were becoming more clear. His brothers was the first he could hone in on. "...No right to come anywhere near him after what they did!"
He sounded pissed. But also concerned as he heard him walk around the room.
"I am sorry Dean. I know i should not have gotten involded but..." Cas sounded unsure. What had happened? He cracked his eyes open to see Dean kneel next to Cas, Sams head in his lap. "No Cas. I'm glad you through her out. She has no right to come anywhere near us. Espesially him!"
Cas carded one of his hands through Sams hair while the other was holding his left hand tightly. He squeezed it lightly, feeling the fingers in his hair pause. "Sam?"
Sam opened his eyes completely. Dean was right in front of him, looking angry and concerned. Jess was at her desk on the phone. She turned to him and gave him a bright smile, blowing him a kiss before turning back to her call. He finally looked up to his boyfriend. Cas looked so worried. He wanted to reassure them that he was ok but only one thing was on his mind. "Is she gone?"
Cas looked to Dean, as if asking him to answer that. Dean smiled slightly. "Yeah Sammy, Shes gone. Your boyfriend turned all bodyguard on her when she tried to go near you. Told her she had alot of nerve showing up after all this time like everything was great. Said she sure as hell wasn't any mother worthly of a son like you and proceeded to haul her outside, slammed the door in her face and locked it." As Dean spoke he took on an almost proud look to his face. "I gotta say Sammy, your boyfriends a badass!"
At her desk Jess was nodding her head, in full agreement with Dean. He looked back to cas, who still looked unsure. He sat up quickly, noting the way Dean moved foward as if to catch him, and threw his arms around Cas' shoulders, holding him tightly. "Thank you."
Cas wrapped his arms around Sam' middle and held him just as tight. "I love you."
A single tear fell from Sams eye at that declaration. He pulled back, placing a kiss to his lovers lips. "I love you." Cas smiled before standing up, pulling Sam with him.
Still in his arms he turned to Dean. "What happened?" He remembered talking to Dean, Jess yelling, then his mom showing up. After that, nothing.
Dean stood up as well. "Well i showed up as Cas here was showing her the door. She tried to talk to me but honestly, i just didn't care. I walked right past her and helped Jess make sure you didn't bust your head. When Cas came back he took you, held you and Jess filled us in on what happened."
Sam looked closer at his brother. he was holding something back. He was looking at Sam, but his eyes kept looking away. What he does when he was trying to protect Sam from something. "Dean?"
Dean sighed. He opened his mouth to explain but was cut off by a pounding on the office Door. Jess ran to get it, taking the cordless with her. Who was she still talking too?
As he heard the ding of the bell a voice he would know anywhere cut the silence. "What the hell was she doing here?" Someone had called their uncle Bobby.
Bobby came around the corner and made a beeline for Sam. He placed a comforting hand on Sams shoulder. "You ok boy?"
Sam nodded his head. He was starting to feel like he was. "Yeah uncle Bobby. She just...shocked me. I didn't expect to see her again."
Bobby nodded his head, gave his shoulder a light sqeeze then went to join Dean. "What happened. Dean started explaining everything that Sam already knew up to that point.
When he was finished Sam looked at Dean expectantly. Dean sighed again. "Sammy...she...Damn it!" He kicked the ground in his frustration. Sam walked over to him. "Dean, Whats going on? Why was she here?"
Dean turned to his brother. Sam could see he was trying to organize his thoughts. "Dean, just tell me."
Dean, always one to be blunt, did just that. "Dads got cancer. She said he wasn't going to make it."
All the air left Sams lungs and he started feeling light headed. Cas was there instantly, holding him tight while leading him to the waiting room couch.
His dad was dying. His dad, who hated him, was dying. Bobby sat beside him while Dean kneeled in front of him. Jess came up behind Dean and placed on hand on his shoulder and one hand on Sams. Sam breathed in, he breathed out. Nope, nothing changed. He was still here, surrounded by all the people who loved him. His dad was still dying.
But over all...Sam didn't feel anything. What was he suppose to feel? He turned his eyes to his brother. "She wants us to go see him." It wasn't a question. He already knew.
Dean nodded his head. "Yeah, told Jess we should come and be with him in his final days and all that crap. I will tell her like i told Jess, that man had been dead to me since the night he told you to leave. He has washed his hands of us and i want nothing to do with him."
Sam knew he should'nt have but he was still shocked by his brothers revelations. He had always been close to their dad. "Don't you want some sort of closer Dean. Maybe...Maybe he changed." Sam could only hope but he knew deep down his dad would never change. He was too set in his ways.
Dean looked skeptical. "Do you believe that Sam?" Slowly Sam shook his head. "Sam, I want nothing to do with the man. As far as im concerned Bobby is the only father we have now." Sam noted how Bobby flushed red as his chest swelled with pride. "But if you said you wanted to see him, I'd go with you. You know that." Jess quickly seconded that with Bobby nodding his head in agreement.
Sam turned to Cas. His boyfriend was looking closly at Sam, gauging his reactions and emotions. He smiled at Sam. "Sam, you know you don't even have to ask. I love you. Deeply. And I want to be with you for as long as you will have me."
Sams heart felt too big for his chest. This man was truly amazing. And all his. "Careful there Cas, that could be a very long time." He said it only half jokingly. He never wanted to let him go.
Cas smiled again, kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear. "Nothing would make me happier."
Sam smiled at him then turned to everyone else, who had similar smiles on their faces. "I'm not sure. I...I really don't feel anything right now. I'm just kind of...numb."
Dean covered one of his hands with his own. "I know she said he was dying Sam, But don't rush it. Wait as long as you need. And when your ready, no matter the choice, we will be there." Again all heads nodded.
Sam let out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. His dad was dying, his mom had shocked the hell out of him by showing up, but through it all his family, the only family he really had anymore was still there beside him. Would always be there. How did he get so damn lucky!
Dean clapped his hands together. "Ok, get your jackets, we're all going to The Roadhouse and filling up on Carbs and Beer!"
Sam was getting up but paused. "Dean, I can't leave. We still have a few hours left."
Jess smiled her chesher cat smile. "No, we don't. I knew you would fell drained, don't deny that you dont, so i resheduled them for tomorrow."
Sam did feel drained and he felt so grateful for having Jess with him. She thought of everything. "I owe you."
She laughed. "i take money and coffee."
Cas wrapped Sam in a hug. "Luckily i know were Hook you up with some free latte's!"
Dean turned to bobby. "You in old man?"
Bobby smacked him upside his head, "This old man can still kick your ass boy. Hell yes i'm in." Sam smirked. He suspected the bigger reason, aside from wanting to be there for him and Dean, was of his not so secret crush on Ellen. But he didn't say anything.
That night they ate till they thought they would explode, drank even more, and watched as Cas whipped Dean at Darts. That was something to see. As they all said good night he was surprised when Dean crushed him in hug that was almost painful but he returned just as much. "Love you little brother."
Sam whispered, "Love you too Dean." He would never have made it without his brother by his side. He knew that. His brother was his rock.
Him and Cas made their way to his apartment. Cas hadn't asked but Sam really wanted him with him tonight so Cas didn't say anything when he drove them straight to his place.
Later after Cas had fallen alseep, Sam lay awake, his mind refusing to slow. Did he want to see his dad again. It only took one look from his mom before he passed out for gods sake! Could he handle anymore possible rejection from him? But in the back of his mind he knew he needed too. Dean may not need closer, but Sam did. It didn't mean that just the thought of seeing the man again didn't scare Sam shitless. Could he handle it?
As if sensing Sams thoughts Cas tightened his hold of Sam in his arms, placing a kiss to his temple before sighing softly and easing into sleep again. Sam decided that he would think more on it in the morning. Because no matter what, his family would be there, Cas would be there. And that thought alone made Sam feel like he could take on the world.
"I love you" he whispered to Cas before letting the soft breaths of his boyfriend lull him to sleep.
