Captains' Night Out

By: MoonIce

A/N: Apologies for the long pause from updating. After thinking about it I've finally came up with an idea for what to do for the chapter. But enough explaining it time for the chapter to begin.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it?

Chapter 9: Busted: Part 2

12:01 pm, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Inside of the Starbucks coffee shop in Milwaukee, Wisconsin three stranger that were alien to the area sat with surprisingly calm demeanors. "Greeting fellow reader. I'm Sosuke Aizen former shinigami captain of squad five. My companions here are Gin Ichimaru, former shinigami captain of squad three, and Kaname Tousen, former shinigami captain of squad nine. Although you are all probably wonder why we're all here drinking coffee instead of being a pile of asses looked up inside of a secluded vault after the war for world stability, I'm just going to keep all of you in the dark until the time is right." As the devious shinigami took another sip of his coffee the violet-haired blind man replied. "Isn't that kind of injust." Of couse not Tousen, because the readers get a tad bit of information about this story and get questions answered that they were probably wondering about. Aizen stated. "Gin would you please be so kind as to display the information for us."

"I have no idea why I have to do this but here some key points in the story that haven't been discussed of brought up much." Gin stated as he pulled out a portable Blue-ray player. "While tracking our friendly rebels and former enemies movement we discovered some point that haven't been explained before. For example how is it that everyone's able to get around America while being native to Japan? The answer is that only four people speak English. These three are Kisuke Urahara, Uryu Ishida, Byakuya Kuchiki, and Rukia Kuchki. Another point that hasn't been made clear is the currency that they spend in America. While two thirds of our friend pay for product such a car and clothing, only one third actually buys them for the rest of the group. And just for fun I would like to mention that Mr. Gates understands common Japanese phases such as the ones used by Toshiro and Yoruichi."

"Now it's time for the really fun stuff." Ichimaru said as he put a disk into the blue-ray player. "Now I would like to show you a how the violent relationship between Rukia and the Giant weasel began.

(Movie Begins to play)

"Plushie-Con 2010"

The screen displayed thousands of little girls (and Rukia) lined up to get a picture taken with Chappy the Rabbit. The youthful looking heiress to the Kuchki family was next in line to get her picture taken with Chappy the Rabbit. There were many other mascots for sure with crowded lines but the line for Chappy the rabbit was unbelievable. After the little girl in front of Rukia received her picture and ran off with an extremely cheerful expression on her face, Rukia nearly tackled the giant stuffed animal with a crushing hug. "Um excuse me little miss but your really shouldn't be grabbing the chappy like that." Said the photographer. "I'm sorry." Rukia earnestly replied on the verge of tears after looking at the slightly ruffled Chappy plush. "Alright now say Chappy." The photographer stated. Just before Rukia could reply a giant weasel mascot roughly pushed Rukia away for the Chappy plush and proceded to tear it to shreds. Afterwards the giant weasel mascot began to terrorize the young Chappy fans.

The masses ran out in panic of the giant maniacal mascot. Only a teary-eyed Rukia was left in the vacant building staring at the shredded chappy plush. As the weasel chased down the chappy fan girls, the hell raiser finally said "Haha, Take that Chappy the Rabbit now you no longer have any fans that care about because…" I'm going to kill YOU! The weasel was cut off by the threat. "Hey who said?" Argh! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! The weasel turned around only to be brutally tackle by what appeared to be a small black-haired girl. "Hey you're supposed to be fle…" The weasel was cut by a punch to the face by Rukia. Before he could make a comment Rukia landed a gut-busting fist straight to the weasel's stomach. The weasel tried to block her but instead received a devastating kick to the nether regions of his being.

The video continued to display images of Rukia beating the unlucky mascot's face into the ground. The conclusion of Rukia's fury showed rapid powerful stomping on the weasel before Gin paused the violent video. "Well that was funny wasn't it? Now I should really go on to interesting detail about…" Gin you really going to want to see this. Tousen said cutting off Ichimaru's statement. "What now I thought you wanted me to tell you about the hidden secrets in this story?" Yeah but now the clocks going again and this news report has some major information to the story. Aizen stated while still looking at the television set in the Starbucks. "The news report stated that there's a Japanese car chase causing massive destruction to the city all the while causing strange phenomenon to happen such a snow falling in the middle of summer." Aizen said. " Should we check it out?" Ichimaru asked. "No I don't besides the coffee here is really good and I'm sure this will all die down quickly.

(Meanwhile on the freeway)

"You know all I wanted was some time off, some time to get away from my work but you know what, my work comes back to me in blond hair and chaos." Toshiro Hitsugaya stated while throwing spiked ice sphere at the speeding R.V. catching up to the rest of his comrades. "How'd they find us anyway?" Ichigo asked while driving, desperately trying to get away from the firing hado spells. "How should I know? I didn't think they would even notice our disappearance." The white hair captain replied while trying to distract their pursuers. "Where the hell is Kisuke when you need him?" Byakuya asked while trying his best to steer the vacationers away from the approaching enemy. Suddenly, Byakuya crashed into a car that had for some reason stopped in front of him. The collision had completely smashed the front of the minivan Byakuya was driving as well as the motor.

"Well isn't this just great? Now we have to go out to the annoyance of the world." Byakuya said while getting out of the vehicle; perfectly prepared to face a force of power great enough to make any politician waver. "I thought Naruto was the annoyance of the world." Ichigo stated. "No, he's the annoyance of the universe." Toshiro corrected. As the three men exited the damaged vehicle, six familiar figures stepped out of the RV that was right behind them. The nine figures seemed unfazed by the wreckage and blocked traffic surrounding them on the free way. "Seriously where is Kisuke when you need him?" Byakuya asked.

The six shinigami that had previously been in the RV approached the three vacationers with volumes of anger concealed in their eyes; ready to unleash their fury upon them. "Hello Matsumot…" The young captain was cut off by a strong smack to the face by the busty blonde. "Shut the hell up captain! You don't deserve to talk right now." Normally Toshiro would have frozen his lieutenant in four tons of ice but at the moment he was too stunned to do anything. "In fact, none of you traitorous bastards deserve to say anything." Renji added while loading a shogun and pointing it at Byakuya. Time to kick their asses! Sentaro shouted while blindly charging at the three obviously stronger shinigami. As Ichigo prepared to transform into a shinigami, a young pink haired girl hoped on top of Sentaro's head sending him straight into the ground.

"Bad Sentaro! Bad!" Yachiru said as if she were commanding him like a dog. "You can't beat Byakushi. In fact, none of us can. Byakushi is the best." Yachiru added. "What do you mean? Even if they are captains, they can't just leave out the blue." Kiyone said. "Why not? You ingrates do it every single day!" Byakuya stated. "Because who else is going to do work for us?" Marechiyo added. "Speeking of work, where are Captains, Zeraki, Ukitake, and Soi-Fon." Renji asked. "You know that a very good question." Ichigo said. Meanwhile, during the captain and lieutenant confrontation, the following was taking place at Six-Flags.

"Hey! Where are Ichigo and the others? More importantly, where is ? But more importantly than that, when will ever be able to ride the new "Dark Knight?" Orihime asked while eating a strawberry and what appeared to be orange, mixed with mint ice cream topped with grape nerds. "I think he had to leave for an important company meeting or he just might be on the more time-convenient Chappy twist which I SUGEESTED BUT NO YOU JUST HAD TO GET IN LINE FOR THE "DARK KNIGHT!" Rukia angrily shouted at the fiery-red head. "Why are you so loud?" Ishida, asked while standing in line along with Ukitake and Yoruichi. "But seriously, Orihime this sucks." Ukitake added. "Why didn't we get on the Superman like Kisuke and Soi-Fon?" Yoruichi asked while eating vanilla ice cream on a cone. "Don't worry it won't be much longer before we expierience the greatest moments of our lives." Orihime said optimistically.

While the wary vacationers waited in the long line, things were going differently on the Superman west of the "Dark Knight". "Why are all of these people screaming? I mean c'mon they're screaming like their being raped by monkeys." Soi-Fon asked while strapping herself in the seat of the ride. "It's just way in which people enjoy themselves." Kisuke replied while strapping himself to the seat right next to Soi-Fon. "I still don't like you." Soi-Fon coldy responded while making sure the bars were secure over her body. The captain was caught off guard when the ride had started and she was laying forward wither legs dangling over the metal platform she was previously standing on. "What's happening, Soi-Fon asked a little startled. "The ride had begun!" Kisuke asked prepared for the experience to come.

Back to the "Dark Knight" ride that was to the right of the "Superman", things had made a turn for the worst. "WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS MEAN I'M TOO SHORT!?" Rukia asked furiously at the ride attendants. "Sorry ma'am but you have to be at least 5.0ft to get on the ride." One of the attendants told her wavering under Rukia's fury. "I'M GETTING ONTHAT FUCKING RIDE WHETHER YOU FUCKERS LIKE IT OR NOT!" Rukia screamed while storming throught the attendants in order to get on the ride. Ukitake immediately lunged after Rukia. "You can't get on, you're too short." Ukitake said which make Rukia even angrier. "Litsen here! I didn't stand in line for four hours straight just to be told by some fucking nerds that I'm too short to ride on the "Dark Knight! Now get out of my way so I can get on and hopefully try to cope with the four-hour waste of my life. "Hey! Get outta here you noisy bitch! Other people have lives too you know." A pedestrian that was waiting in line shouted.

"Hey Yoruichi! Do you still have those tranquilizers?" Ishida asked? "Yes; why do you ask?" Yoruichi responded. "Because we're going to be in a whole lot of shit." Ishida replied. "You shouldn't use profanity Uryu." Orihime advised kindly. "Yeah…we're going to need a whole lot of tranquilizers." Ukitake added on while dodging a raging Rukia who had begun to maul a misfortunate bystander. "I thought we were on vacation." Orihime stated while dodging the flying people that Rukia had swatted. "The key phrase in that sentence is "we we're." Ishida said while shifting his glasses. "This is some bullshit." Yoruchi commented. As the situation in the "Dark Knight" ride became hectic, things on the freeway became disastrous.

The lieutenants had begun to fight Ichigo and the two-shinigami captains. Despite being outnumbered, the three were beating the living hell out of the lieutenants. Toshiro had just frozen Sentaro and Kiyone with only one attack. Ichigo had once again beaten the crap out of Marechiyo unarmed althought he was struggling against the small pink-haired powerhouse known as Yachiru. Byakuya had yet again easily beat Renji without so much as a speck of dirt on his shinigami robes. Rangiku tried to duel her captain in a kido match but was put down quicker than the Flash runs a marathon. Property damage and car collisions decorated the slaughter fest. Helicopters that had crashed into the freeway due to Hyourimaru affecting the flying weather could also be seen among the wreckage. The National Guard had tried to break up the scuffle between the shinigami but was broken up by Byakuya's shikai release. Now the U.S army had surrounded the battling shinigami.

"This is just freaking great! Now the human world thinks the apocalypse is occurring. See what you all did! See how much trouble you've gotten us into?" Toshiro exclaimed while fending off another sloppy attack from the exhausted Rangiku. "What do you mean what we did? None of this would have happened if you would have just stayed in the soul society along with the rest of the captains." Rangiku replied in a huff of breath. "Yeah! How come you couldn't just stay home Byakushi?" Yachiru asked while pinning down Ichigo. "Stop calling me Byakushi!" Byakuya yelled. "It's because of things like this, why we decided to just get away from you all." Toshiro added on. "Things like what captain? Nicknames!" Rangiku asked angrily. "No it's everything, the coming in extremely drunk to the sleeping on the job and lets not forget leaving on the job." Toshiro stated. "In fact I sometimes just think about transferring you to a different squad altogether. Although the thought of killing you now and ending this headache altogether doesn't seem so bad either."

Everyone was taken back by the young captains words, most of all Rangiku. "Wow Toshiro that was harsh." Ichigo stated. "How could you do that to your lieutenant? I've been trying to do this with Renji for years." Byakuya stated also shocked but more so envious. "Wow! Who knew whitey could be so mean. Yachiru stated still pinning Ichigo down. Rangiku just stood in her place and then did something no one would expect. Rangiku Mutasumoto began to cry. At first it was just a few tears, which turned into a silent sob and finally broke out into full-blown wailing. Toshiro was taken back but quickly got over it and went to go comfort Rangiku. As he went to approach the sobbing lieutenant, Rangiku had quickly run away from Toshiro. "Stay away from me! Leave me alone since you hate me so much!" Rangiku screamed while letting out more sobs. "Rangiku I…" Toshiro was cut of by a smack to the face by the crying blonde that sent him flying at least eight feet away from her.

"I said leave me alone captain! If you hate me so much why don't you just kill me? Or maybe you really are just a scared little boy who's just pretending to be a captain." Rangiku stated with the fierceness of a tiger. Toshiro's mood was shifting from regret to anger due to Rangiku's comments. "Rangiku listen to me I don't hate you I just…" Toshiro was cut of by Rangiku once again but not with any physical abuse but with word. "Just what captain? JUST WHAT! TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE I'D REALLY LIKE TO HEAR IT!" Rangiku screamed at her captain. "I was just tired of having to do everything by myself. I mean, I have to do everything and I don't get any time to myself even when Unohana says that I should. I just wanted to have some time to take a break from everything that I have to do to keep the squad running and to keep my job. I'm sorry I threatened you like that Rangiku its just that at the time I was very frustrated and wanted to get away from my job. In fact I actually enjoy your company Rangiku." Afterwards Rangiku had stopped crying and began to calm down a little. "You really like being by me captain?" Rangiku asked with hopefulness. "Yes I do in fact you bring a little warmth and somehow joy into my day. Rangiku I want to say…" Toshiro for the third time in a row but instead of being slapped or yelled at, he was being crushed due to a choking glomp delivered by none other that Rangiku Mastumoto.

"Oh! Captain I'm sorry. I'm sorry I make your job so hard. But I won't ever do this to you ever again!" Rangiku said apologetically. "Do what again? Tired me out to the point of desertion or crushing me until my face turns blue." Toshiro gasped out while struggling free from Rangiku's death grip. "Love you to captain." Rangiku replied while putting her captain down onto the ground. "And since we're here, we might as well go to "Six Flags". The blonde added. "Rangiku let me just make it clear that if you tell anyone about this I'll make sure your stacked up in so much paperwork that "GreenPeace" will sue me." Toshiro sternly replied. "Gotcha captain." Rangiku answer in her now normal jolly tone of voice.

"Hey! It's a great thing that you resolved your problem but we had better get back to our bodies and get the hell out of here really fast." Ichigo entered in. "Because secret agents have just passed the barrier Senbon Sakura made and are going to take our bodies back to Area 51." The orange haired shinigami added. "This is just perfect. Now we have to escape and play babysitter for these unconscious folks." Byakuya stated while dragging Renji and Marechiyo back to their gigais and into the RV. "Hado no.4 Byakurai" Toshiro chanted as a ray of lightning struck the ice sculpture that Kiyone and Sentaro were incased in. The two third-seats couldn't as any questions before they were thrown back into their gigais and dragged along towards the RV. Yachiru had jumped off of Ichigo and followed in suit with the others.

Just before the shinigami's could get into the RV, three secret agents shot tranquilizers at the group. "Ah shit!" Ichigo added as he dodged the needles. One of the soldiers that were part of the army blockade used a tank cannon to destroy the RV. "Aw crap, Aw damn, Ah shit!" Ichigo shouted as the group was surrounded. "Extraterrestrial life forms, you are now property of the United States government in body mind and s…" The agent that was talking was cut off by literally having his hand cut off. Before anyone in the U.S platoon, agents, soldiers and all could react, jet-black flames spurred out all around the shinigami preventing anyone or anything from coming near them. "What the hell is this?" The agent with the severed hand asked. "Retreat! The soldiers started yelling while the black sea of flames approached them.

Even the news choppers began to move away. Inside the ring of black fire however things weren't so hectic and chaotic. In fact things were pretty calm. "Looks like manga beats media yet again." A familiar voice stated. "Sasuke." Toshiro stated with some surprised. "Who did you think it was? Light Yagami?" Sasuke said while appearing to the group in a flare a red flames. "Not that I'm ungrateful but what are you doing here?" Rangiku asked. "I just thought that I would start my hentai tv network in America since this is where all the nerds are. Now its time for me to buy me a broadcasting station and hopefully hit success in due time but until then I'll be catching you party people latter." With that Sasuke and the black flames disappeared leaving the shinigami stranded in a deserted but destroyed freeway with nothing but their breaths of air creating noise. "What type of shit is this?" Toshiro shouted out.

Now back to the amusement park of "Six Flags", Kisuke and Soi-Fon wait at the exit for Yoruichi and co. "WOW THAT WAS SUPER FUN! REMEMBER WHEN THE THING MADE A LOOP AND THEN IT WENT DOWN AND MADE A LOOP AND THEN WE WENT UP REALLY HIGH AND THEN IT WENT REALLY REALLY FAST!" The excited Soi-Fon repeated for what Kisuke thought the 200th time. "Where are you Yoruichi?" Kisuke asked while listening to the energetic Soi-Fon yet again. "During this time the following took place at the ever crowded "Dark Knight" ride. Rukia had just been neutralized by Yoruichi and had fled the premises while running from the guards. "Note to self, never go to Six Flags again." Ukitake said while running from the mob of guards.

Meanwhile, during the time of Rukia's episode and the clash between the lieutenants and captains, six men were about to retire from, in their minds, the perfect day. "Man who knew sitting back and doing nothing but eating and watching other people hurt themselves be so much fun." Kenpachi said while drinking another bottle of Heineken beer. "Yeah this is the life just sitting back in a room temp hotel doing nothing." Chad replied. "I almost feel bad for telling everyone to go to "Six Flags" on Friday 13th." Bill added while eating some nachos. "Are you kidding? That the fun in manipulating people; knowing that your okay and they're not." Aizen entered in with a six-pack of beer. "Now we can really enjoy the event." Tousen stated. Chad had turned the channel to the news, which would state the main events of the day. "And it all starts in 3,2,1…NOW!" Gin shouted.

The anchorman had begun by saying, "In today's new there a terrible accident on I:92 in which the true meaning of bad luck was laid out in property damage, law suits, and destruction of city property. Next at Six Flags, a small girl threw a big tantrum and sent twenty-five people to the hospital. "AW YEAH!" The six men shouted in union as they drank their beer.

A/N: Yes the end to my story is in sight. What will happen between Toshiro and Rangiku? What is the fate of Rukia? Will I take another gap in time to update? And how in the world did Chad and co. become friends with Aizen and co. Well I hope I have enough spark to write down my thoughts and post them.