Chapter VIII

Mustang was annoyed.

Not only had his troops failed to find the Gate Alchemist, but they had also failed to capture what was reported to be some sort of spandex wearing, green loving, masochistic loving lunatic that had his troops in an uproar about something to do with posing and sparkles.

So to try and gain some sort of insight about this green clad muscle bound oaf, he decided to go straight to the source of the problem…

Or the next best thing he had.

The Ninja Kakashi.

But unfortunately, that is where the problem started to get infuriating.

For sitting in the chair across from him was the man in question, who was happily sitting there giggling at the book in front of him; his right eye crinkled in a gleeful expression.

The Shinobi was wearing nothing more than a pair of overalls that one would normally see on a painter. One of the legs of the overalls had been torn off and was tied around the man's head covering the left eye.

Also if you could count the fact that the Elric brothers had the man sitting on a stone chair with his legs from the knees down encased in stone, his left hand was also encased in stone.

Just the sight of this mismatched ninja in torn up clothes, attached to a stone chair and a hand encased in stone seemed to be a tad on the weird side.

And what really annoyed Mustang was the fact that the NINJA in question had that 'book' and no sign of a blood nose was evident.

Deciding to put that 'major' detail aside for the moment, Roy thought it best if he could 'try' and concentrate his efforts into getting as much information on this Maito Gai.

All Mustang knew about this strange man, was that he called himself the 'great' green beast of Konoha.

In the room with him was his ever faithful shadow Major Hawkeye, the Elric brothers and two soldiers.

"Mister Kakashi. All we want to know is how to stop this man who is calling himself a green menace from the same place that you are from," questioned Hawkeye.

"I'd like to suggest that you burn his book," huffed the older Elric.

"Ni-san!" ground out an irate suit of armour beside him.

Edward's shoulders bunched up as if a child had just been told not to touch a hot stove.

"But Al," wined Edward as he turned to look as his armour plated brother. "You know that book is just some perverted book from where ever he comes from."

"I don't care brother," the younger brother told him. "It still belongs to mister Kakashi."

Roy walked in front of the stone encased Shinobi.

"I take it that there would be no way that you would help us in apprehending this individual named Maito Gai?" demanded Mustang angrily.

Kakashi put his book down to regard the Colonel. His right eye held a serious look to it.

"That is correct," the ninja told him flatly. "But I will tell you this… If I where you I would get the medical staff on stand-by."

"Is he that dangerous?" whistled Hughes.

"No, just annoying," smirked the ninja as his visible eye gleamed happily at them.

"Then our talk is over," announced Roy as he turned to leave. "Fullmetal, I leave him back in your care again."

"Oh and Colonel one more thing I think you should know!" Kakashi called out urgently.

"And what would that be?" Roy muttered.

The silver haired Shinobi gave a happy smile as he pointed towards the Colonels middrift.

"Your fly is open," the ninja told him helpfully with the tone of a playful child.

Red faced the Colonel quickly stormed out with the Shinobi laughing in his bid to leave with what dignity he had left.

As soon as Mustang turned the corner he quickly moved to check his 'fly'.

Only one problem; it was not even open to begin with.

"Damn that man," cursed Mustang as he moved to leave with his staff in hot pursuit.

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Meanwhile, on a train on the way to Central...

An unknown terror was approaching; terror that was spelt with a capital W and ended with a letter H. (1)

A terror that was both sweet like a blue wren; yet deadly like a king brown snake. (2)

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Kakashi quickly looked around the room.

The brothers had left and so had the soldiers leaving Kakashi alone for the night.

Looking to his left was an empty bottle and a blanket within arms reach. (3)

His visible eye gleamed happily as he released the Jitsu he was using to hide his current state of being.

When it disappeared, it revealed Kakashi to be free of the stone which was in rubble around his feet.

Estimating that he would have about 30 minutes before the next 'check', he quickly moved into action. Gathering the remaining pieces of rubble, he swiftly moved to put the pieces outside.

And by outside, it meant that Kakashi was throwing it over to the other side of the parade ground. (4)

Looking outside, he noticed that the one called Havoc was trying to talk to a girl in an army uniform.

He also noted that there was something or something's moving in the window beside the two.

If it was a bit lighter, Kakashi would have been able to make out who it was over there. But the light was out in the room belonging to the window and the Ninja was glad he could just make out just a few of the 'shadows.'

Smiling, Kakashi grabbed one of the smaller rocks and threw it over to the pair making it smash the glass behind them.

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"Really, you mean that you'll take me to see that play?" the female soldier asked shyly. "I've always wanted to see 'The Tales of Conga!'" (5)

Havoc smiled for once. He may actually have a date for once in his life that was not a reject of the Colonels.

It was also at that moment, that the window beside them smashed; revealing Breda, Fury, Falman, Hawkeye and Armstrong who seemed to be following the poor man around.

"Uhh! What are you guy's doing?" Havoc asked wide-eyed as he stared at the 'visitors.'

"We where trying to see if you would be a true gentleman!" Armstrong sparkled happily at the Lieutant. "If you were not, I was going to have to show you how to be with the techniques passed down in the Armstrong family for generations."

At that particular moment, Armstrong just 'had' to take his shirt off, while Havoc's date by this time 'had' started to flee the doomed soldier who was being berated by the Alchemist.

"Eh!" Havoc turned to his running date. "Conga!"

"It's alright Havoc, there is always next time. Who knows you may find a better date soon?" Hawkeye told him in her bid to cheer the poor man. "Come on, what do you say?"

"Conga!" whimpered Havoc sadly. (6)

"Fury, Falman take the Lieutant home," Hawkeye requested as she watched the man in question just repeat the one word over and over.

"Conga!"

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Hearing someone at the door, Kakashi quickly moved to his 'seat' and reinstated the Jitsu to hide the state of his chair before quickly grabbing his book at a different page.

Giggling again as he started to read his favourite story, he pretended that he did not see the smaller of the Elric brothers move in quietly.

In his hands the child had another blanket.

"The weather is said to be getting colder lately, so I thought that I would give you another blanket for awhile... just in case," the Fullmetal Alchemist told him quietly.

Kakashi put his book down carefully as he reached out to take the blanket.

"Thankyou," he smiled. "Do you mind if I as a question?"

"Depends on the question," replied Ed.

"Where is my gear?" the white haired Shinobi asked curiously.

"Honestly I wouldn't have a clue," smiled Ed. "Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. But you should know that anyway wouldn't you?"

"It was a possibility. That's all," laughed Kakashi, his eye taking on a happy look.

"Well, I'll be seeing you then tomorrow morning," Ed waved as he turned to leave. "I'm sure that the guards wouldn't mind talking to you if you want someone to talk to in the middle of the night."

"Thankyou," nodded Kakashi as he watched Ed leave. "But I have my book and that's enough."

"Pervert!" grunted Elric as he walked out.

"Take's one to know one child," Kakashi called out to the child's retreating form.

As Ed walked out, Kakashi could have sworn he saw Ed's hackles rising as the child grumbled down the corridor

Kakashi's laughter heralding the Alchemist's departure from his cell.

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Meanwhile in another part of town...

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"Everyone, I want you to take down every detail you come across in this room for future reference," Hughes called out to his team of investigators.

"Yes Sir!" his team of soldiers saluted as they moved methodically around the room taking notes, photos and samples of the surrounding area.

"Where are you?" ground out Hughes in an angry voice as he looked around the room in disgust.

The room in question was a hideout that was once owned by the Gate Alchemist by the looks of it.

In one corner of the room, was an alchemy array of the likes Hughes had never seen before complete with bloody marks.

The room also had a foul stench of decaying flesh and arid chemicals.

"I only hope I can catch that manic soon," he whispered to himself as he took a note book from a passing soldier.

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The Gate Alchemist was furious.

That lunatic of a warrior of his, had just run off in his bid to run around the 'village' as the warrior had put it.

And to make matters worse, the warrior had only bandaged his wounds just recently.

From current estimates, the Gate Alchemist had noticed that the warrior had already run the entire length around Central about twice and was still in no bid to calm down as of yet.

But what got the Alchemist in question angry, was the fact that the warrior wanted to have a 'COOL' training session. Whatever that meant.

The attitude of the warrior was starting to get on the Gate Alchemist's nerves. Well that and the sparkles.

Plus, if you could count the fact that the Gate Alchemist had seen the Holy Warrior in question holding a posing contest with the mirror.

Sometimes, it just did not pay to be the smarts of this 'chicken outfit' thought the Alchemist as he turned to continue his studies.

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Authors Notes:

1 – Well I'm sure everyone can 'guess' what is coming. Honebar… I hope you are going to enjoy the coming story of DOOM! (And for those people that know my name… It does not mean ME!)

2 – Over here we have some of the world most venomous snakes and topping that list is the King Brown snake that is well known for being highly poisonous and a TAD aggressive. (Unless you're my sister. Who has been known to pick them up as a child; while declaring them her pet 'worm'!)

3 – Trust me. You do not want to know what the bottle is for! (Trade secret…) INUI JUICE! (Tora)

4 – I always remember a holding cell being near the parade ground at my Mum's barracks. I think it also had something to do with the fact that the Military Police had an office and stockade near the front of the base. (To help them better manage the grounds and front gates is the reason.) And of course the Parade ground is always at the front so that when the Soldiers Family and the military visitors came they did not have to 'walk' through the entire base to get to the desired area which would have made a breach of security more likely. (The MP's seemed to give up with my family. I think it had something to do with the fact that my brother, three sisters and I used to run riot anyway… I do remember getting banned from going anywhere near the tank depo for awhile. It's not my fault they left the keys in the ignition!)

5 – Okay I know that there is nothing called 'The Tales of Conga!' I am just sort of using a reference from a show that used to be shown over here called the 'Late Show' by a group of Australian comedians called the 'D-Generation.' Tora knows what skit I am writing about. (Scary, isn't it?) Tora.

6 – Okay so I'm in a 'Conga!' mood, but for those of you who don't know the joke… Imagine a school type of quiz show that people would have played in the days of Black & White TV. Let's just say that the D-Generation crew had one character in 'their' team (Santo.) who just had to reply to all of the questions they where given as 'Conga!'

Here is what basically happened… (Shortened.)

Announcer… What is the capital of Spain?

Santo… Conga!

Announcer… What is the name of the river that runs through Egypt?

Santo… Conga!

Announcer… Spell Burlesque?

Santo… C. O. N…

-Other two team members hit Santo in their bid to shut him up-

Other two members of the team… B. U. R. L. ske.)

Let's just say it is a favourite saying amongst myself and a few of my friends (Who know what I am talking about.) at the moment. (CONGA!)

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Review time!

Roy-Fan-33 – Yep I will agree… Life is hard. But when life gives you spades go for the clubs instead. (Or is that diamonds? Oh well who ever said I was operating on a full deck was proberly lying.)

Tora Macaw – Not a problem. I don't mind helping. (But I believe you know that already by now.)

Rekka'Zaal – Thanks for that. I am still going to try my hardest to get the next chapter out though. (I have been getting just a tad tooooo busy at the moment with my new agency. The old one started to get dishonest. Don't Ask!)

Chakashi329 – Thank you. I am glad you like it. I sorta had to try hard to get this lot written down. Gonna have to try again.

Silvermoonphantom – Me too. I sorta had just a bit too much fun with that chapter. But same thing again. I am glad you liked it.

Alenia Shadows – No problems there at all? WHAT! How do you have fun? (Sorry mad moment.)

Ash892 – So far it seems that Armstrong will win… Heck I just hope just one of them wins instead of the both of them and I am glad you are enjoying it.

Miracleflame-alchermist147 – Your welcome. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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Well there we have it, FINALLY. I do apologise for it being late coming out but I have been really busy. (Story of my life!)

I've helped Tora move and now that this problem is behind me I am now facing the prospect of being the new club secretary of my anime club.

And lets just say a few things need to be organised first before I can take over completely. (Then I'm really in trouble!) I did tell them to get everything organised first before I took over, but so far it looks like I am going to have to 'overhaul' the position before it is truly organised.

Thankyou again everyone who has read this and for your support and understanding for me being late in updating; I can't say I wont do it again as it does look like it is about to happen once more. (I am trying though.)

I know that I have organised to have the next weekend off but I already have a few friends that I haven't been able to see in awhile are already trying to 'book' themselves into my free timeslot. (So to speak.)

Oh well can't win, but lets have a giggle about it anyway. Being on a lack of sleep high does tend to do strange things they say… (But it does tend to be more fun in the meantime.)

Thanks again everyone and I hope to have the next chapter out as soon as I so possibly can.

Tora has finished moving... sort of... got fences to build now... (Enjoy your new home Tora!)