Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Star Wars Universe, nor do I make any money while I'm amusing myself with them.
Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. They are an encouragement to post more quickly. _
ONCE UPON A REBELLION – CHAPTER 9
Camp Life and Night Thoughts
The Captain went in search of some Kaffe and swallowed the pills in a gulp. The rest of the day passed uneventfully, for which everyone was thankful. Solo decided to turn in early, having assigned himself the 2:00 a.m. guard shift. However, sleep turned out to be elusive. His shoulder throbbed in concert with his heartbeat, and even after he got up and took two more the mild pain pills, it didn't want to settle down. Chewbacca had early watch and Solo hadn't realized the Wookie had been with him most of the night before anyway. He finally gave up after tossing and turning for over two hours. Getting up, he relieved the other night guard more than an hour early, and was rewarded with a tired "couldn't sleep, huh Solo? Your bad luck, my good luck."
Taking up his watch position, Han waved at Chewbacca, and had started his rounds. He had plenty of time to think as the time passed slowly. There wasn't much going on, except for the incessant noise coming from the angry beasts.
Solo tuned that out, and couldn't seem to keep his thoughts from turning to the Leia. He wondered what she was doing and thinking right now. He supposed he hoped she was sleeping, but couldn't help wishing she was thinking of him. 'You're gettin' soft, Solo,' he told himself. 'Why should she be thinking of you instead of sleeping?' Even so, he let his mind drift back over their recent encounters. He remembered how worried she'd been on their mission to Avaya when he'd thought he might lose his arm (see Going Solo for back story). Things had lightened up between them after that mission, as evidenced by their foolishness outside the Falcon when they'd danced together as "Princess and Pirate."
Even with their outlandish costumes, the dance had been special. Sensual, even. And Leia had just felt so right in his arms. With a start, Solo realized it wasn't just that he wanted Leia in a sexual way, although he rarely thought of her without feeling a tightening in his loins. It was that he missed her companionship. He missed talking to her, teasing her, even her high and mighty way of bossing him around. He missed her, period.
It used to be that when he was on an adventure with Chewie, or even in more recent times, a mission for the rebellion, his thoughts were centered on the excitement, the chance to make a financial killing, or the thrill of escaping from right under the Imperial's noses.
Now he found that every waking moment that wasn't taken up with a crisis, she was in his mind. Solo had had a lot of women in his life, even a few special ones. Bria, for instance. But no one had managed to get under his defenses like Leia Organa had. He shook his head. She was just a little bit of a thing. But he had never met a woman like her. It wasn't just that she was attractive, though he personally felt she was the most feminine and beautiful woman he'd ever met, even when she was dressed in coveralls and had grease on her chin. Maybe especially then.
No. It was more than her physical beauty that caused her to linger in his thoughts. It was who she was that attracted him. He realized he'd never met someone so dedicated to a cause, a worthy cause, he would admit to himself. She was so idealistic that it seemed impossible, and yet, that very idealism, combined with her practical character and natural ability to simply accomplish impossible things was what was so charming about her.
There were times Han wondered if she might feel the same way about him, but he usually dismissed those thoughts out of hand. 'Huh. She could have anyone she wants, what could she possibly see in an old scoundrel like me?' Privately, Han figured she and Luke and something going on. Although, her behavior around Luke wasn't really romantic. Just, sort of constant. That was it. It was as if the two of them shared some special bond that Han knew he'd never be part of.
Han snorted softly to himself. 'What were you thinking, you jerk?" he wondered as his mind played back that dance, his face flaming with embarrassment as he thought about it. 'And that's that,' he told himself. 'Time to move on, once I get out of this mess. I can't go on like this forever. Sooner or later, one of the bounty hunters will get me, or my luck will just finally run out, and I'll be what? Dead. That's what. Dead. And alone.'
One more disparaging snort accompanied his somber thoughts. 'Wouldn't that look great on my headstone? "Once Upon a Rebellion – A No-Account Smuggler Died. No one even knew his name"'. On that discouraging thought, Solo squared his shoulders, wincing as he did so, and walked the perimeter of the camp once more, surprised to see his relief approaching as he completed his third circuit. His thoughts had kept him occupied, at least and he was even able to sleep for a bit after returning to his bedroll.
The next day passed in much the same way as the previous one had and people began to move from being shocked to tired and to then impatient. 'The whining has begun,' Solo thought to himself. "Aubie," he used his most long-suffering voice, though his head was beginning to pound. "You heard Laungle. There isn't anything more we can do about the noise. The only way to stop the growling is to let the night fires die down and that isn't a good idea, now is it?" Solo spoke as if to a 3 year old child, knowing as he did how Simek would react, but tired of voicing the same argument over and over.
Trying to calm the now sputtering little man who continued to proclaim that he "wasn't getting any sleep," Solo shook his head, muttering to himself that no one else was either, thanks to Aubie's snoring. Noticing Jenina waving at him, he seized on that as his excuse and abruptly left him where he stood, still complaining.
