A/N: I have a special announcement at the end.
Chapter 9: Elemental Wedding
*Ba-Sing-Se*
After hitting his head again, Ozai had a change of heart so he withdrew his troops from the other 3 nations and announced he would be stepping down as Firelord. Zuko was heir apparent but stepped down due to him devoting his life to helping others and seeking enlightenment which meant that Azula would be Firelord. At first the other nations were horrified about this but calmed down once they learned Azula became a good guy. While Ozai would still need to be incarcerated for his crimes, the authorities agreed to let him attend his daughter's wedding under close supervision.
Aang is at the altar wearing a black tuxedo and Sokka is best man. Mai and Ty Lee bumped their heads again and were not only back to normal, but were also bridesmaids.
"Aang, what's wrong?" Asked Sokka.
"I don't mean to sound cliché but…I'm nervous." Answered Aang as he was sweating bullets.
"Don't worry man you've got this, all you gotta do is be confident, relaxed and look at her eyes instead of her boobs." Sokka whispered.
"Okay, thanks Sokka." Aang whispered back.
As the ceremony begins, Toph volunteered to be the flower girl but instead of getting flower petals, she got flower bundles. Plus, rather than spreading them on the ground, she started chucking them at people she passed by. And since she couldn't see, her aim was off and consisted of throwing said flowers at faces, eyes and crotches. Some mistook them to be bouquets and thus a riot started. Upon reaching the alter, Toph was all "How did I do?" with a smile.
Toph had to have a 5-minute Time-Out while everyone recovered, before being let back into the wedding.
Just then Azula appeared at the back of the church wearing a very beautiful dress and in a surprise twist of fate, chose Katara her maid of honor. (Albeit she's wearing a strait jacket, strapped to those wheeled upright stretcher things, and wearing a Hannibal Lecter Mask as someone pushes her) The New Firelord is escorted down the aisle by her father Ozai, (Who in turn is being escorted by numerous guards to keep him from trying anything stupid) to the Alter.
Bumi is in charge of the wedding and starts with "If anyone here objects to this Divorce…"
"Wedding." Aang whispers in Bumi's ear.
"Uhhhh Wedding… let him speak now or…uh… FOREVER KEEP IT IN HIS OR HER PANTS!" Bumi said with a confident smile.
(Long awkward silence)
"Anyhow…we are gathered here today for…..SHIT!...Where's the rings?" Bumi asked.
Just then The Duke and Smellerbee (having served their time and have been rehabilitated) walk forward and present the rings. They have unnerving smiles as if they've been subjected to things they cannot un-see.
"Thanks lil' shits…anyhow, Aang, Azula, place the rings on each other's penises… I MEAN FINGERS!" Bumi rebounded, but Aang and Azula were too happy to care.
Bami continues with "Anyhow…..this reminds me of a time I drank cactus juice…(20 minutes later)…followed by that time I cracked my head on a radiator…..(20 more minutes later)….. to when I cooked ox testicle stew….(another 20 minutes later)…..as well as that time I ate Taco-Bell and had an "accident" while riding down the mail chute which resulted in…."
"Uh Bami?" Aang whispered as he pointed to the traumatized people in attendance.
"Oh sorry…. Anyway do you guys promise to stay faithful to one another unlike that creepy-ass, piece-of-shit, pedo, ProJared?" Bami asked.
"I DO!" Aang and Azula said in perfect unison as they looked into each other's eyes lovingly.
"Then by the power invested in me….(awkward fart) UH OH!...(digestive noises)...Sorry guys (tiny fart)….Excuse me….(another fart)….I need use the potty for a sec!" Bami said in between farts, Azula and Aang are covering their noses.
Bami then used a bathroom that was to the right of the altar and let everything rip.
"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! (Violent Diarrhea discharge) FUCKING TACO BELL! (Fart noise you'd hear on Rocko's Modern Life) EVIL CAULIFLOWER FROM SATAN'S ASSHOLE! (Different, louder R.M.L. Fart noise) GODDAMN BASTARD BROCCOLI FROM HELL! (Sudden fart) SON OF A BITCH FAKE-MEAT PROTEIN! (Bloody fart) AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! (Continuous release as he screams/curses at the top of his lungs before stopping) Pant….pant…..(final fart) PHEW!" Bami said as he wipes his ass, flushes really loud, uses 3 Fa-breeze cans to get rid of the stench and washes his hands.
Upon returning, Bami was all... "Sorry about that folks….anyway…..I now pronounce you Husband and Wife…. YOU MAY NOW STICK IT IN THE BRIDE'S HOLE!" Said Bami.
Lifting up her veil, Aang and Azula kissed each other.
Despite the setbacks earlier, everyone in attendance got up and applauded the newlyweds. Zuko cried into his Uncle's arms, Ozai cried into the guards' arms, Ty Lee cried into Mai's arms and Sokka cried into Toph's arms.
*Reception*
The Reception is held at a luxurious, fancy-ass hotel, everyone not dead or incarcerated is there. As Azula tosses the bouquet, it lands on Zuko's left eye, blacking it. Horrified, Azula and Aang are about to rush over but Mai shows up, cradles Zuko and give a completely out of character reaction.
"OMG MY LITTLLE ZUZU ARE YOU OKAY? IF I WAS MORE RESPONSIBLE THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED! HERE, (Undoes the left side of her top and breastfeeds Zuko) JUST SUCKLE ON MAMMA MAI'S LEFT BOOBIE, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME!" Mai said.
Zuko then gave Aang and Azula a thumbs up as a way of saying thanks.
"Thanks Aang, you've made me the happiest woman in the whole wide world!" Said Azula.
"No worries Azula, plus it's only gonna get better." Aang said as he pushed a button.
Just then, the empty section reserved for the band, opened up to reveal a huge bubble dome containing a Squidward (whose nervous), Spongebob, Patrick and the rest of said band, even Squilliam was there, expecting to see Squidward fail. The only difference is that there's a huge headshot of Adam Levine behind the band, but it has a huge red X over his face.
A/N: I don't care if it's a dead meme, if it works and makes me laugh then I'll include it.
Azula is fighting to contain her excitement.
As "Sweet Victory" starts, Aang guides Azula to the dance floor and they slow dance to the greatest halftime song ever. Only this is the full song and Squilliam actually dies after fainting. To think that they were at one-point mortal enemies only to become lovers lead to quite the adventure for the newlyweds. Azula and Aang look into each other's eyes again, and kiss. Once the song ends, a bunch of awesome, catchy songs are played.
After the celebration ends, Azula and Aang go on their honeymoon.
A/N: I was going to have this be the final chapter but the honeymoon would've made this chapter too long so I'll have the final chapter out this Friday!
