(Sherlock's POV)

I kill John and I am alone. I kill Zara and I am alone.

John would never forgive me if I shot her, in fact he would kill me. It is more likely to be metaphorical death just from seeing the look on his face. I have seen him disappointed in me many times which, although it certainly isn't a pleasant look, I can live with. That will be nothing compared to how he will look at me when I am labelled a baby killer. It would be disgust and anger that I hadn't chose him which would later be replaced with nothing. The day John looks at me and feels nothing will be the end. There has always been something. Curiosity at first, wonder and respect and then love.

Would John be able to handle it? He still has nightmares from his army days and occasionally from the cases we have worked. I know the death of a child however young is a distressing thing to him, so what would it be like to know that he is still living because a baby died?

But I would not be able to handle John being dead as much as it pains me to say it. In the time we have been together I have become dependent on him. He helps me collect my thoughts quicker even if his suggestions normally are totally wrong; he has saved me on numerous occasions from death and making terrible decisions; he is like my moral compass which is sometimes the key to understanding a case. And like Moriarty basically said all those months ago, he is my heart.

If I had been asked this question a few months ago I would have shot Zara without even having to think about it but now I have to think about what John wants.

His toes started to subtly tap. I had been teaching him Morse code in anticipation of a situation like this when we can't speak but now I almost wish I hadn't. His feet were sending different messages. John's right foot gave the message 'Please shoot me' while his other gave the message 'I love you'.

John.

Oh John.

I tap out 'I love you too' which Moriarty sees but I don't care.

I raise the gun and pulled the trigger.

-There will be more and I have two weeks in France from this weekend without internet so I will write I few chapters then-