Chapter 9: Back to Kurt

Kurt wasn't entirely sure what to think. He wasn't sure what the protocol was for something like this. Was there a self-help book on what to do when your boyfriend tells you he has supernatural powers? Well, that's stretching it, apparently…according to Blaine-it wasn't supernatural powers- it was just his brain working differently than everyone else's. This was a little unnerving but Kurt wasn't lying when he said it didn't change the way he felt. And honestly? It's a little fascinating.

They had made it back to Cleveland safely and Kurt felt so much better after seeing how his dad was really doing. His family tended to spare him most of the details because they knew Kurt worried about him too much.

They were dancing around the subject of Blaine's abilities the whole drive home, neither of them knew how to bring it up and Kurt was even left wondering if he had dreamed it up. It was pretty strange. After deciding Blaine should sleep over tonight since it was so late, they began getting ready for bed. Kurt's nerves were on edge. Blaine was sleeping over. Blaine would be sleeping in his bed. Of course, they had gotten used to this at his parents' house, but this was different. This was his bed, in his apartment, and they were completely alone. His mind started racing.

"Kurt, are you ok?" Kurt felt Blaine's hand on his shoulder and he jumped around to face a concerned looking Blaine. Oh. Right. He could feel my emotions. Well this is almost like a horrible invasion of privacy. No, stop thinking like that, he cares about you that's all.

"Yeah, I'm fine…I'm just thinking." Kurt was almost wishing he would drop it.

"What's on your mind?" The warm tone of Blaine's voice made Kurt feel so loved. He could tell that Blaine genuinely cared about him and it wasn't just him prying or trying to fill his curiosity.

"Did you ask me because you felt my emotions?" Kurt blurted out before he really thought about it.

Blaine hesitated, looking guilty.

"I mean…it's ok if you did, I was just wondering." Kurt hated that guilty look on Blaine's face. There really isn't anything he wouldn't want to share with Blaine, and Blaine needed to know that.

"Yes, I felt how anxious you were. It was like you were nervous but really hesitant at the same time. I just wanted to help." Blaine looked out the window.

"Oh. That's really weird. I mean no-not weird-you aren't weird. It's just interesting. And really super confusing for me. I'm sorry." Kurt wasn't really sure how to word what he meant.

"Oh Kurt. Please don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for. I know this probably makes you feel uncomfortable, me being able to almost read your mind and everything. I promise I don't seek it out. I try really hard to give you all of the privacy I can. Do you think you could talk about it? I mean you're taking this a lot better than I could have ever hoped for. At least, I think you are. Could we talk about it?" Blaine was giving him the world's most effective puppy dog eyes and damn they were working.

"I guess I can try. I can't promise this will come out right, you know how awful I am with words…except for when I'm writing of course." Kurt chuckled.

"Which you still haven't let me read, by the way…"Blaine countered.

"Maybe one day." Kurt smiled back at him.

"Well, I'll be honest with you. I'm trying pretty hard not to get upset over this advantage you have over me. Even though I know you don't have a choice, it still feels like an invasion of privacy. That's really only when I'm embarrassed though, because when it all boils down…Blaine there really isn't anything I would ever want to hide from you. I thought about it a lot on the way home, I don't know if you could tell." Kurt raised an eyebrow.

Blaine looked a little shocked over Kurt's confession of not having anything he would ever want to hide from him but he answered Kurt's question, "Yeah, I kind of guessed that's what you were thinking about, you're emotions were all over the place. It kind of scared me, to be honest."

"I bet you were in an emotional whirlwind, because I really had no idea what I should feel about this. But I figured it out." Kurt looked Blaine in the eyes.

"And what did you come up with?" Blaine held his gaze.

"I want to share everything with you. The fact that you can feel what I'm feeling just makes us that much closer. And as long as you don't run screaming when you feel something you don't like…then I think we'll be ok. Blaine, I know it's early, but you're it for me. I want you to be close to me, I want you to feel me…feel all of me, and that includes my emotions. " Well that escalated quickly, Kurt thought. This double meaning just sort of slipped out. If he's lucky, Blaine will miss it. Blaine's eyes darkened and his mouth opened a little. Of course Blaine caught that. He could feel everything Kurt was feeling. Wait-that brings up another question.

"I do have one question though." Kurt hated that he ruined what could have been the beginning of a great make out session with Blaine, but this question was pretty important.

"Go ahead, I'm surprised that's the only question you have." Blaine shook his head as if to clear his lust filled head.

"How do I know any of this is real? I mean, if you feel everything I feel, if you share my emotions then how do I know this isn't just my love reflected back at me? Did my feelings for you influence the way you felt? Is any of this real?" Kurt's heartbeat started speeding up. He didn't want to think about that possibility.

"Oh god, of course not. I mean of course this is real. I do feel what you feel but that doesn't mean your feelings completely replace my own. It's kind of hard to explain but trust me, I can tell the difference between my emotions and yours. Don't ever doubt my feelings for you Kurt. Ever." Blaine reached out and gently grabbed Kurt's head, pulling him closer.

Kurt's head was spinning. Blaine's kisses rock his world. This must be what it feels like. This has to be the closest he can get to understanding Blaine and feeling his emotions, because he seemed to put every ounce of it into his kissing. With every stroke of Blaine's tongue, Kurt felt his heart swell. With every bite, he felt Blaine's passion. With every press, he could feel Blaine's love and adoration. He would never doubt Blaine's feelings again. There's no way this perfection was fake.


Kurt was in the kitchen making tea for him and Blaine while Blaine was taking a shower. It was late but neither of them wanted to sleep, they were too high off the adrenaline of their confessions and that kiss. While the tea was steeping, Kurt walked into the bedroom to get his phone that he left on the nightstand. However, when he turned the corner into the room he was hit with a scene he would never be able to forget, not in a million years. Blaine was standing outside of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and water dripping down his chest. Oh god, his chest. That collarbone. Kurt's eyes eventually made it to Blaine's eyes. Both of them lost the ability to breathe. The room got tense. They never once broke eye contact but before he knew it, Kurt was chest to chest with a wet Blaine. Kurt wasn't sure why he was reacting so strongly but he wasn't stopping to think about it. Apparently Blaine couldn't take the tension anymore and he crashed into Kurt, taking Kurt's neck into both hands so that he could kiss him deeper and deeper. Oh. Blaine had to be feeling the arousal pouring off of him right now. He had never been so turned on in his life and the fact that he knew Blaine could actually feel that, that made this 100 times better. Kurt's brain finally started to catch up and he started to touch Blaine. He was grabbing at Blaine all over. His hands were sliding over his chest and arms like there was no tomorrow. Kurt spread the water droplets all over Blaine's body as he was feeling him and Kurt dug his fingers into Blaine's hips as Blaine started sucking on Kurt's bottom lip. Kurt felt his knees hit the back of his bed and they both slid down onto the mattress, Blaine falling on top of Kurt. Was this really happening? Kurt slid his hand down and grabbed at Blaine's ass. Blaine let out the sexiest moan and all too soon, reality hit. This was really happening. Blaine realized it at the same time and he jerked back like he had been burned. Blaine stumbled up, trying to put as much space between them as possible and murmuring apologies. Kurt was left breathing heavily on the bed as Blaine ran into the bathroom to put his clothes on.

When Blaine walked back out, they were both looking away, sheepishly. "I'm really sorry, Blaine, I shouldn't have attacked you like that. I really don't know what got into me." Kurt tried really hard to look sorry but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. That was the hottest thing that had ever happened to him.

Blaine smiled and said, "It's ok Kurt, and you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm pretty sure that was just as much me as it was you. I just think we should slow down a bit. I'm not sure I'm ready for much more. Even that might have been a little much."

Kurt felt his heart take a jab. Even though he knew Blaine was right, rejection still hurt like bitch.

"No! No, Kurt, I swear it isn't because I don't want to. I love you Kurt and I want to try this with you one day, I swear. It's just…this is a little bit more complicated, that's all." Blaine had moved over to the bed and grabbed both of Kurt's hands and tried to look him in the eyes.

"Is it because you're an empath? Does it have to do with that?" Kurt was really hoping he didn't do anything wrong.

"Actually, it does. I mean, I think we would have taken things slow even if I wasn't, but it would definitely be easier to make love to you if I wasn't." Blaine looked ashamed. Kurt's heart picked back up at the mention of making love to Blaine.

"Could you…I mean…would you mind explaining that maybe?" Kurt hesitated.

"Things are twice as intense for me. I feel what you feel and what I feel. Sex is such an emotional act that it's like looking into the sun. It's too bright. I can't know for sure, but from what we just did, I have a feeling it will be easier with you than it was before." Blaine was looking thoughtful, like he was thinking hard about something.

Kurt didn't want to think about Blaine making love to other people. That thought hurt.

"…than it was before?" Kurt tried to ask gently, not sure if he wanted to hear this or not.

"Well, I'm not exactly proud of some of these things in my past, so that's kind of why I haven't brought it up, but even though I've never had a boyfriend, I have had a few hookups. Mainly just to see what it was all about. It was pretty painful." Blaine winced at his memories but Kurt was just confused.

"What do you mean? I didn't think it hurt that bad…" Kurt had no idea what Blaine could be talking about.

"No, not physically. Mentally. Sex hurts me mentally. With each of those hook ups I could feel exactly what they felt about me and it was nothing. Sex without love is just painful. It damages the soul almost. I now know what they mean by it being a sin outside of marriage. I mean I'm not religious or anything but for someone like me who can see deeper into it, it's pretty true. Although, this is just a theory, since I've never made love, I've only ever had horrible and emotionally damaging sex with strangers. That's why I think it will be different with you. Because I love you." Blaine looked back up at Kurt.

"So…if you think it'll be different with me, why the hesitation exactly? Is it just because we're relatively new at this?" Kurt wasn't upset about that, he was just trying to understand.

"No not exactly. I mean that's part of it but think about it from my side. My only experience with sex has been horrible and painful. It emotionally scarred me in a way, it kind of left a type of PSTD. Sex scares me. So I'm just really nervous." Blaine looked away from Kurt with a sad face.

"Blaine, that's perfectly understandable. I promise you I'm not upset about waiting at all. I want you to be comfortable. I want you to trust me 100% with all of you and I want you to take your time adjusting to the idea. Please don't rush on my account. I want what's best for you, because that's what's best for both of us." Kurt took Blaine's chin and made him look him in the eyes.

"Thank you, Kurt. You're the best. I do trust you. 100%. I just need a little time to sort out some personal issues, overcoming my fear." Blaine blinked away a few tears.

"Come on, let's go to sleep. It's been way too long of a day. Come snuggle with me. I'll even let you be the little spoon tonight." Kurt pulled Blaine up to the pillows and they crawled under the covers.

A/N: I'm really unsure about this chapter. This was a scene that's kinda been in my head since the beginning. Did it go over ok? Was the dialog ok? Was it intense enough? What else do you want to see in the story?