Authors note:
Hi guys,
I know that it has actually been over nine months since I last updated but I lost a lot of love for writing fanfiction, I found my new stories and threw myself into writing and planning them (not in that order), I'm also in a relationship and man those things burn up time quicker than fire (except in the most pleasent and enoyable of ways). For some unknown reason today I decided to actually write this chapter and as soon as I found a finishing point for it I knew I had to post it. I can't promise that the updates are going to keep coming but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things.
This chapter doesn't include any of the side relationships, Emmet and Puck are going to be a background thing for now, Seth and Dave might not return outside of an occasional mention and Sam and Cohen will hopefully be getting a chapter or a one shot to cover their story line but I can't make promises.
Any way a warning is required on this chapter, a bit of a trigger warning for dark content. Sorry guys, I think you guys knew that if I came back I would come back with angst :) I will pretend I don't like writing it if you pretend to like it :)
Okay let's get on with it :D
Now:
The first night Blaine stayed in the spare room was... well hectic doesn't cover it...
The nightmares started around ten past three in the morning. Burt woke with a start as a loud moan filled his ears. At first his mind thought of the worst and he was fully prepared to throw a bucket of ice water on two teenagers but as soon as he pushed the spare room door open he knew that the worst was nothing compared to what he saw. Blaine was drenched in sweat as he twisted in the blankets.
Burt sighed and closed the door, he made his way further down the hallway to Kurt's room. Kurt was curled up around a pillow, his face serene as he slept.
"Kurt?"
Kurt mumbled in his sleep but didn't wake, Burt walked further into the room and tried once again. "Kurt?"
Kurt's eyes flickered open and looked at his dad.
"Dad, are you okay?" Kurt asked in a panicked, sleep laced voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just Blaine doesn't seem to be having a good time in the sleep department, you might want to go comfort him."
Kurt frowned, he pushed of the blankets and hurried to get out of bed whilst mumbling a simple explanation to Burt.
"All of this stuff with his dad seems to have awoken some bad memories, sorry he woke you," Kurt said as he pushed past his dad, Burt grabbed him by the shoulder and Kurt turned to face him.
"I love Blaine, you know I do, he's like a son to me, always has been but after everything you went through with Aiden I don't want you taking on too much."
Kurt nodded and then looked up at his dad.
"You're a great dad, you're caring and understanding and I would be nothing with out you in my life, that's what a father is supposed to be like but Blaine's father missed the memo and has devoted a good part of his life to making Blaine feel like he is nothing."
Kurt took a moment to make sure his father had heard him before he continued.
"I'm going to take on as much as Blaine needs me to take so I can try and make him understand that not only is he something but he's someone, someone special."
Burt nodded with a small smile. "Be careful, that's all I'm asking."
"I will."
Kurt scurried off to the spare room, he gently opened the door, the door creaked and Kurt tip toed in, his heart ached as he saw Blaine, he was curled up in a ball as he muttered in his sleep. Kurt sat on the side of the bed, he reached over Blaine, one hand resting on the other side of Blaine, the other hand on Blaine's shoulder as he tried to shake Blaine awake.
Blaine cried out a loud 'no', his arm flinging up and hitting Kurt across the face, Kurt fell off the bed from the sheer force of the attack.
Kurt's eyes stung with tears, his hand touched his lip lightly, he pulled his hand from his lip after feeling the blood. Blaine stared at him in shock for a moment before rushing to his side, Kurt flinched on instinct when Blaine touched him.
"Kurt, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Blaine whispered softly.
Kurt took a deep breath as he tried to collect his thoughts but all he could see was Aiden, his voice echoed in his mind as the pain in his jaw throbbed. Kurt let out a slightly choked sound as his body took in as much air as it could.
"Kurt tell me you're okay," Blaine pleaded, tears rushing down his face.
Kurt reached for Blaine in the dark, once he found him he pulled him closer, Blaine crumbled, he held onto Kurt with dear life, one hand wrapped around his waist, the other holding his pyjama shirt tightly as he cried. Kurt just cradled Blaine's head, his own tears already drying on his face as he whispered to Blaine.
"It's okay, I promise, I'm okay."
Blaine sobbed into Kurt's shirt as he wept, he kept a mantra of 'I'm sorry' going until he fell asleep in Kurt's arms, completely drained and defeated. Kurt held him in silence as his own nightmares attacked, they filled him up and burned through him like acid. He was still rocking Blaine numbly as light began to come through the curtains.
At six thirty alarms started around the house, Kurt's room first, Burt and Carole's second, then Finn's and finally Blaine's alarm. Kurt reached for it and switched it off. He wondered briefly why it was on to begin with but then he figured Blaine had probably never turned it off since leaving Dalton, which brought his mind back to the problem at hand, Blaine no longer went to Dalton, his father had taken everything and Blaine was a mess.
Kurt sighed as he ran his hand through Blaine's sweat drenched hair, Blaine stirred slightly before the light forced him to open his eyes fully, they searched Kurt's face for any sign of negative emotion. Any sign of anger but Kurt held none.
"We should probably get off the floor," Kurt said weakly and Blaine nodded as he slowly removed himself from Kurt, the cool air rushing to the warm parts of Kurt's body making him shiver.
Blaine slowly stood and stretched before sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked at Kurt again.
"Kurt..." he started slowly but Kurt cut him off.
"It wasn't something you could control, I woke you up during a nightmare, I should have thought it through more clearly."
"Kurt, I really hurt you."
"You and I both know I have had a lot worse," Kurt said with a slight laugh, Blaine's face scrunched up and he was about to say something but Kurt was already telling him that he was going to go get cleaned up. Kurt was gone before Blaine could even get a single syllable out but the memory of his bruised face and swollen lip stayed in Blaine's mind in a taunting manner.
Kurt moved quickly to his bedroom to avoid running into anyone, once inside his room he locked the door, once the bottom part of his face wasn't covered in blood he would unlock it but he couldn't take the risk of his father seeing him the way he was. He made his way to the bathroom attached to his bedroom, he collapsed into the chair in front of the mirror, he felt all of his unshed tears burst through his tear ducts as he sobbed, his tears burning tracks through his blood stained face.
He looked at himself in the mirror, his jaw was scattered with a dark purple and blue bruising, the blood from his lip had dribbled down and was smeared across his chin, Kurt knew that it would be difficult to hide this bruise, at least while it was as bad as it was. Kurt took in a few stabilising breaths to stop the tears from falling.
"Deep down you like this Kurt," Aiden whispered as he traced one of Kurt's bruises with the tip of his finger. "You like that you need someone to love you like this, hurt you like this."
Kurt remained silent, his skin prickling in response to Aiden's feather light touches across his bruised chest, every moment his body waiting for another hit as he watched Aiden in the mirror waiting for the assault.
"You've lost your fight Kurt," Aiden smirked as he began to massage Kurt's shoulders, squeezing just that little bit too hard. "I think it's because you know that you're where you are supposed to be... with me."
Kurt shook his head slightly and Aiden dug his nails into Kurt's shoulders and Kurt groaned in pain. "Your groans never change, they always sound so beautiful, whether you're feeling pleasure or pain."
"Maybe that's because I never feel pleasure around you, only pain."
"You like being in pain Kurt, you live for it."
Kurt felt his stomach twist and turn before he rushed from his seat to the toilet, the remnants of his stomach contents forcing their way out of his mouth. The image of Aiden lingered over Kurt like a ghost, he shivered as he remembered what Aiden's hand had felt like. The way his fists felt like as they collided with Kurt, the way Blaine's hand had felt like. Kurt dry heaved as he realised the similarities.
He tried to stop the images of Blaine's face replacing Aiden's in his nightmares but he couldn't, he could only see Blaine hitting him as he held up his hands in defence, he could feel Blaine's hands around his neck as they squeezed the lie out of him. He could see the glint of joy in his eye as he did so. Kurt shook his head as he tried to explain to himself that Blaine wasn't like that.
"Blaine didn't mean it," Kurt whispered to himself.
Aiden's voice filled his head like he was whispering in his ear. "You like that you need someone to love you like this, hurt you like this."
"It was an accident," Kurt sobbed.
"You like being in pain Kurt, you live for it."
Kurt sucked in as many breaths as he could as his mind replayed image after image of Blaine hurting him, he knew that Blaine wasn't the man in his memories, that Aiden was the one that had tortured him. His mind reached a point where he could no longer distinguish faces only pain.
He let out a silent scream, he pulled hard on his hair and rocked himself slightly on the cold tiled floor of his bathroom.
Knock knock
Kurt stopped and looked weakly out the bathroom door.
"Who is it?" Kurt cried out.
"It's Blaine," came the weak voice of the boy he loved, the boy who had sworn to protect Kurt, the boy whose fist had collided with his jaw only a few hours before. Kurt swallowed thickly.
"Kurt?" came Blaine's voice again, it was as broken as Kurt felt and Kurt bit back his emotions as he remembered why Blaine was having the nightmares to begin with, why Blaine was staying with Kurt. Kurt wiped his face and pulled himself off the ground, and put himself on the chair again.
"I'm just washing up Blaine I will open the door in a moment."
"Okay," Blaine said quietly and Kurt knew that Blaine could sense that something was wrong, it wouldn't have taken a genius to work that out to be honest but it still made Kurt feel bad to hear Blaine the way he sounded.
Kurt turned the tap on and began to wash his face and brush his teeth. He stood up and flushed the toilet, he grabbed the air freshener from the cupboard and sprayed the room to rid it of the smell of throw up and despair. When he sat back in the chair again he looked more composed, he reached for his concealer and he put a little across the bruise, it didn't look as bad as it did before but it was still noticeable. Kurt put on one more layer and practiced his smile. The concealer covered the bruise and Kurt's facade covered his face. He stood up and made his way to the door, he unlocked it and looked at Blaine.
"Ready for breakfast?" Kurt asked with a smile as he kissed Blaine's cheek.
"Yeah," Blaine whispered as he looked at Kurt's face, the concealer failed to hide the bruise but acted as a message, it told people that if Kurt covered it up he certainly didn't want to talk about it.
Blaine followed Kurt down to the kitchen he watched as Kurt said good morning to everyone as if everything was perfectly normal which from the outside it looked like it was but Blaine knew this Kurt. This was the way Kurt had behaved when Aiden was around and the realisation of that ate it's way through Blaine as Kurt helped Carole make breakfast.
Authors note:
Woops?
I swear I didn't intend for it to have as much angst as it does but yay Kurt is fun to write when he is all PTSD-like and very disturbed.
Anyway love it or hate it I would like to hear :)
Thanks and til next time :)
