A/N- Apologies for the delay with this chapter. I've been a little poorly and icky- who gets ill in the summer? I hope there aren't too many mistakes but I'm still not 100% so forgive any errors! Anyhow, I hope you enjoy...


"So..." Chandler began, as they entered his hotel room, unsure of where to even start. His brief moment of earlier confidence, was fast fading now that they were actually here preparing for the talk. The one talk that could potentially change both of their lives.

He swallowed. Crap, this was scary stuff.

She passed him and he watched as she critically took in his room for a second time. Her eyes fell to where the empty cigarette packets and bottle of whiskey had previously resided. He was suddenly very grateful that he'd taken the time to remove them. Another reminder of last night's pain gone, erased permanently. Even the suffocating smoke had mostly dissipated; there was now a freshness to the room, a cool breeze fluttering against the blinds.

It felt like a different room, a different stage from their earlier discussion. The discussion that had started to heal his wounds and given him hope. They could do this.

"How did it go with Joey?"

A hint of nervousness wavered in her voice, proving she was also anxious, however, he could also detect a trace of desperation, a need to know the outcome of the boys' conversation. Obviously, she hadn't quite believed him before when he'd told her it was going to be ok. Joey was like a brother to him; they wouldn't fall out over something like this. There was no foul-play; no time-outs in stupidly large boxes needed this time round.

They really were fine.

Water under the bridge.

"It went good," he reassured, as he closed the door softly behind them. "We're ok."

"Thank god," she let out a shaky breath, which caused Chandler to frown. He hated how much guilt was still surrounding them at the moment; it seemed to cling to their every fibre, unable to let go. With a sigh, he walked into her personal space and pulled her into a gentle hug. Closing his eyes as he embraced her, a hand reassuringly stroking her hair as he rocked them slightly in what he hoped was a comforting way.

They could get through the guilt and misunderstandings.

"I told you, me and Joey are fine," he whispered into her ear. "There's no bad blood over this, we are really ok. Completely fine."

She nodded against his chest and Chandler tightened his hold on her. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, letting his lips linger slightly, before resting his cheek there. He held her, soaking in her presence; he couldn't believe it was less than 24 hours ago that he'd thought he'd lost her completely. Thought that he'd never hold her like this again.

He shuddered, pulling her even closer and clinging to her. He wouldn't lose her. He drew in strength and reassured himself at the same time that this was real. That last night had been the nightmare and this was reality. She was actually here; actually with him.

She pulled back slightly looking into his eyes; he let her. The blue intense pools reflected back at him.

He had helped her guilt and now it was his turn for confessions. His turn to dredge up painful discoveries in order to lay them to rest once and for all. Then they could talk about moving forward; discuss a relationship. A relationship built on solid foundations of their friendship. No lies, secrets or guilt. No matter how painful it all was, they had to deal with this now.

He took a deep breath.

"Joey did tell me something that I didn't realize," he ventured quietly, he was almost afraid to break the silence.

He could feel the earlier guilt starting to rise in him again.

"Yeah?" She asked with a frown, staying in his embrace.

"He told me," he swallowed, his voice breaking slightly and her frown deepened.

"What?" her hand came up to brush a cheek comfortingly. "Hey, what is it? What did he say?"

He found her touch soothing for his nerves. Although, the guilt of what he now knew he'd put her through was still strong.

"He told me how worried you were last night about me," he admitted, dropping eye contact. "I really didn't know. I-I had no idea. I mean, I didn't even realize you'd seen me. I…"

"It's ok," she said quickly, echoing his own reassuring words as her other hand came up to caress his other cheek, framing his worried face. "It's really ok."

He shook his head, not accepting that she could forgive and forget so quickly, "I didn't mean to put you through that. I'd never put you through that deliberately. No matter how much I was hurting."

"And the same goes for me too," she cupped his face tilting his head so he was forced to meet her passionate eyes. "I put you through hell."

He swallowed hard, his eyes searching hers. "You didn't mean too," he pointed out, "you did nothing wrong. You had every right to get with Joey, if you'd wanted to. If I hadn't run off, if I'd hung around I would have seen that nothing happened. We could have talked it through and avoided all this. I'm such an idiot that-"

"Hey," there was enough force in her voice to cause him to frown. "You aren't an idiot Chandler. You were heart broken. You thought you'd witnessed something terrible and you reacted to that. You're human. But you know what, despite everything you didn't run away, you came back. You stayed in London; you came to the wedding; you waited for me to catch up with you at the reception and listened to my confessions. You did all that despite being in a living-nightmare and that proves to me who you are, Chandler. You're braver than you think and you most certainly aren't an idiot."

He swallowed, stunned. Stunned by her intensity, stunned by her passion. Stunned by the fact she actually seemed to believed it.

"I-"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as she pulled his head down and crashed her lips onto his. It wasn't a gentle first kiss. It was one born from the power and intensity of their over-whelming emotions. He kissed back with the same force. It was hard and deep, both desperate to reassure and reaffirm to the other that they were really here. He tightened his arms around her, pressing her petite body hard against his. He needed to feel her. He felt like he was drowning and she was his only lifeline.

He could feel her hands in his hair, on his back, on his arms, leaving trails of fire. He heard her groan and it sent a shudder through him, right to his core. He made a little noise of his own, loving the feel and taste of her; he couldn't get enough of this woman. As the pain of last night came back he deepened the kiss further, a hand threading into her hair to hold her in place, as his kissed her passionately. Desperate to reassure himself and her that last night was really over. That tonight was what mattered.

Finally they broke apart, breathing heavily as they looked into each other's eyes, silently communicating what they felt. Taking a last look at her thoroughly-kissed lips, Chandler pulled her into another fierce hug, letting their heart rates calm down as he stroked her hair, loving how soft it felt.

They stayed in their embrace for another long moment before they pulled away slightly, staying in each other's arms.

"I'm an idiot for not doing that sooner," he confessed with a stupid grin.

"If you're an idiot, then I'm an idiot too," she admitted with a matching stupid grin. "That was…"

"Wow?" he suggested with a deep chuckle, "I mean... wow."

"Yep," she nodded in agreement. "I daydreamed about kissing you and I had no idea it would feel like that. If I had, I would have jumped you months ago."

He swallowed.

"I wish you had," he admitted, finding the sudden R rated images hard to get out of his head. He really wished she had.

They stared at each other a moment more before she finally looked away.

"I guess we should talk some more," she murmured, looking around the room, looking at anything but him.

"Or, we could do some more of this," he suggested innocently, but he took her laugh and shake of her head to indicate 'no'.

"We should finish talking before we do more of that."

She was right he supposed. Now the guilt had been dealt with they needed to talk about 'them'; make sure they were both on the same page. They better be after that kiss because he wouldn't be able to live without experiencing that again. Hopefully regularly. He smiled at the thought.

He watched as she detangled herself from him and removed her shoes, placing them neatly together under the desk chair. Then, much to his amusement, she walked over to the large bed, sitting on it and shuffling backwards so she was leaning with her back against the headboard.

"Wanna join?" she asked patting the space beside her on the bed cover.

"Inviting me to my own bed?" he grinned despite nodding eagerly, kicking off his shoes and quickly joining her.

He sat close enough for their shoulders to touch, letting them bump slightly. It was a position that they were both familiar with and he was grateful for it. Their relationship was going into the unknown, unfamiliar territory, so he welcomed this small comfort. He loved that he could fall back on the strength of their friendship.

"Ok," Monica started, taking a deep breath before taking his hand in hers. "I know you really liked me," she started to play with his fingers and he let her. Staying silent as he watched her try to form her words. He was a little unsure as to why she was using past tense. "And," she continued, "I know that I really, really hurt you last night."

Chandler swallowed but forced himself to remain quiet. She obviously needed to get this out.

"I guess I, um, I need to know…have I hurt you too much with going to Joey? I mean, I know you said you forgive me for putting you through that but do you still like me enough to try 'this', I mean 'us'? I know that kiss was amazing but I wouldn't blame you if-"

"Mon," he interrupted, a small smile tugging at his lips as he turned to face her, his free hand coming to caress her cheek. "I'm crazy about you," his smile grew as he watched her face light up.

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"I'm pretty crazy about you too," she confessed.

He actually felt a little giddy and light-headed. Part of him wasn't sure this was actually happening.

"Good, because I'm utterly and totally nutso about you," he grinned before swallowing, "last night hurt, I won't lie. I was in a very bad place and I hope I never have to go through something like that again, but it only hurt so much because I care about you so much. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you didn't sleep with Joey. That would have been hard to get over but if it meant being in a relationship with you, I would have tried. I'm pretty sure I'd try anything to be with you. I've wanted this for so long, wanted you for so long. Last night doesn't change that. Nothing you could ever do could change that.

"God," she chuckled, flushing, her eyes shimmering. "You sure know how to make a girl speechless."

Him?

"Yeah?" he grinned, trying not to sound cocky, "really?"

"Uh huh," she smiled, "those romance novels must run in your genes."

He chuckled, "let's hope that's the only thing I inherited from my parents or we're in trouble."

She chuckled back but her eyes were still suspiciously bright; he leant behind him to grab a tissue from the nightstand.

"Here," he said gently, offering it to her.

"Thanks," she dabbed at her eyes lightly.

"We both got hurt last night, Mon, but we need to forgive and forget. To move past this and move forwards, together."

New tears were forming in her eyes but he hoped they were ones of happiness. He let her wipe her eyes before he leant forward and kissed her. It was a lot softer and gentler than their first kiss. They unhurriedly explored each others' mouths, reveling that they could finally do this. No guilt, no strings, just them. Just this.

When the kiss ended Monica smiled at him brightly and it caused his heart to skip a beat.

Wow.

"I want to move forwards too," she promised. "I can't wait...and it'll be the last time I say this but I am sorry."

"Me too," he nodded with a little grin before leaning over and kissing her again. He was fast getting addicted to her kisses. How soft her lips were, the way they moved beneath his, the way she tasted. God it was amazing. She was amazing. He felt her hand trace his cheek before her fingers moved down his neck, playing with the top button of his shirt. Things were getting a little heated so Chandler pulled away regretfully.

"Um...," he captured her hand with his, halting its movement, "as much as I've dreamt about this moment, you know us doing that, I'm still a little hungover and exhausted and…well, I don't think I'm quite 'up' for it and I don't want our first time to be…well, less than spectacular."

To his relief she merely giggled, blushed and tucked her head in the nook of his shoulder. She removed her hand from his clasp and patted his chest.

"That's ok," she smiled. "I'm pretty exhausted myself. I didn't get much sleep last night either."

He nodded in understanding.

"It's a shame though to waste such a big bed," he quipped loving when she laughed.

"There's always the morning," her voice sounded seductive and he groaned, blood rushing through him once more. He felt the newly freed hand on his thigh and suddenly needed to close his eyes for a moment to gain control. She was a cruel woman.

"Uh, how about a movie?" he tried, not wanting her to leave but needing something to cool the situation.

"A movie sounds good," she admitted, reaching over to grab the options card from the bedside table. Flipping it over in her hands, she studied it before offering it to him. "How about My Giant?"

"Joey's favorite," he grinned as he settled back against the headboard.

She selected the movie and then to his delight snuggled up into his side. With warm fuzzy feelings running through him, he placed an arm around her and pulled her closer into his embrace. He planted a kiss on the top of her head, nuzzling her hair and enjoying the mild scent of her apple shampoo.

He glanced at the clock on the night stand. This time last night was when it all started; a nightmare in another hotel room. It seemed like a lifetime ago. It was hard to believe that in one day so much had changed.

It had been a complete roller-coaster ride of emotions for the pair of them. He was a strange mixture of exhausted, buzzing and completely content. Content. He hadn't felt like that for a long time. He'd never have believed that tonight would have ended with this outcome. Of all the outcomes he had played through his mind last night, of all the possible endings for this weekend, this hadn't been one.

He'd be forever grateful it had played out like this. There was a 'them' now.

What had happened last night had happened and what hadn't thankfully hadn't. It was time to move on…move on with her.


TBC...

I hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know your thoughts :o)